Game of Balance
by NAO-chan33
Summary: The greatest freedom is the ability to choose. But when it hit midnight, my greatest freedom was stripped from me. The only choice I have left now is to play the game. The game of balance. Killua x SI OC (Read: WARNING inside) (Cross-posted on Quotev)
1. Chapter 1

**EDIT1: Just to let you know, I am currently busy with college right now, so I will not be updating a new chapter until late May or early June of 2015. However, that does not mean that I will be idle for the entire time. In fact, I am planning to actually edit the previous chapters multiple times until I am quite satisfied, so please look out for that. Also I have figured out for the most part on what I will be writing for the next abundant of chapters and arcs, so once I am free from classes and professor-student projects, you will find that I will be updating quite regularly (most likely in June). I am also very happy to see old and new people review, favorite, and follow this story, while I go about my days here in the severe cold weather. In fact, I do think about this story with a lot of fondness whenever, which is a lot of the time (or maybe you can even say that I think about it in every waking moment of my life), and with those email reminders of everyone who did review/favorite/follow, it made me want to give more to all of you guys with the hope in tying it all up in a bow by the end of this story (with no loose ends or plot holes or loop holes, you get the point), so just know that I am not giving up on this story anytime soon and I love you all! See you soon! And live happy! :) By the way,**** this story was called "Balance" before, but I changed it to "Game of Balance" recently. There will be a few minor changes, but the rest will mostly be the same as before. I hope you enjoy this reboot.**

**WARNING: I understand that there are a lot of Naruto references in the beginning, but that is only for two to three chapters (mostly an attempt to understand the usage of Nen in greater detail and the first fighting style that she chose). Afterwards, Kinra completely loses her interest in Naruto for the most part and does not mention it at all, unless it has to do with her first fighting style. In the first place, she loved the show, Naruto, before she ended up in the HxH world, which is why it would make sense on how she would relate everything to that show or other shows in order to keep herself from panicking or feeling out of place. But as the story moves on and the plot becomes darker and more serious, she will rarely make references or anything of the sort.**

**Hello everyone! It's been a long time since I last wrote a story or fanfiction, so there might be a few mistakes here and there. So please tell me if I do make a silly mistake. I will fix it as soon as possible if someone tells me. :D**

**After rewatching HunterxHunter 1999 and watching HunterxHunter 2011, I was motivated to write again. I probably won't update my other fanfictions that I wrote a long time ago. I might not even finish this story if I lose my motivation, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyways. This is my first HxH fanfiction ever. I might update once in a while after the first 10 chapters. Anyways, the romance might and probably will be slow. Also the first two chapters will show the MC's integration in the HxH world. After that, it will follow the main plot of HxH. Well then. Enjoy reading!**

**If my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I wish I did though.**

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

_11:50pm. That was the start of my ending time. Who would have thought that this impeccable time would be what led to my inevitable downfall?_

I closed the book I was reading and stretched my arms out with a yawn hitting me automatically.

_If I had slept at the time that I always slept at, if I had slept at 11:00pm sharp, could I have escaped such fates?_

I placed the book at the corner of my desk, making sure it was perfectly in place before nodding to myself in pure satisfaction. The book was completely bizarre with the concept of time, old souls, and the universal connection of fate. It said that if we were the actors, then the world that we live in is just one stage that will come to pass. While referring to the ideas in the Divine Comedy, it further explained in which old souls tended to believe that there was no point in living in a society that was corrupt, self-destructive, and full of greed, and in which this world was an inferno of darkness. The only way to satisfy themselves is to complete their self-actualization, self-realization, and spiritual self-satisfaction in the world of purgatory of their choosing, in this case, the world that they create in our world. Once they let themselves become vulnerable from this act of purgatory, they can find their paradise of acceptance and feel lighter towards life.

_But I guess it would not have affected anything. No matter what time I could have slept at, I would have eventually faced this dilemma. Oh... There was only five more minutes remaining before I have to face my fate. If the world I lived in was a matter of being on one stage and ending one act of a play, then would this game I plunge into a matter of another chance to be on stage? _

_A society of corruption, destruction, and greed. That aspect will never change, and yet, instead of that being the problem, it is more of the matter of whether a person is accepted or not in a group that they consider as their community. Because of the differences in expectations and desires between the Old Souls and the others, the Old Souls could not stand the society of our world and felt as if they were originally not a part of that world, which caused their longing for something to grow stronger than before. So now I can conclude that it is not our society that is the problem. It is the alignment of what we define as personal satisfaction. That is why no matter what world we live in, when our definition of personal satisfaction aligns with society's, we feel the concept of community and acceptance. _

The concept of life. It has always popped up several times throughout this book and it always questioned on what lessons, insights, or realizations we can discover about the idea of life.

And thus, it led to me pondering on what I would be like if I chose a different path at certain points of my life, but I soon realized that because I chose the choices that I took, I am who I am now. Because in the end, we are essentially the embodiment of our choices and without them, we would not be who we are now.

_And yet, the definition of personal satisfaction blooms from the concept of choices. Choices are the possibilities that lead to so many futures. With each choice as a color, we can paint any picture we desire until the end of our lives. As I once said before, we are essentially the embodiment of our choices. That ability to choose was the greatest freedom and without it, life was..._

_Time is a linear variable. It never moves backward. It only moves forward. But when that iron law is shattered, what would be the greatest punishment? Death? No. Death would be too kind of a punishment. Then... What is the greatest punishment? After all, if time was not linear, if we had the ability to choose different paths at certain points of our lives, we would not be who we are now and that in itself is a sin. It is an error that must not be forgiven. And that is because we ARE the embodiment of the choices that we take. Our identity is our choices. Not our name. Not our pride, greed, and happiness. It is our choices._

Once I accepted that thought, another discovery quickly made its way into my mind.

There are many truths that we discover through the choices that we made and through our lives, which can essentially be described as the lessons of life or as the realities of ourselves, but in the world that we create, there can only be so much truths that we can discover. Through this notion, we can assimilate that this world is only one truth. And by discovering the other worlds, as in the worlds that other people create for themselves, we can then pursue a higher understanding of the greater.

_That leads into the concept of universal connection of fate. Could it be coincidence that everything I read, watch, and experience end up in my life one way or another? No. It is all connected. Whether you believe in the greater or not, everything that passes your way becomes a part of a truth that you discover of the world. And as you piece together each part, you will begin to understand the bigger picture of the truth. The game. The game of balance._

I checked the time at the corner of my eye before turning off the lights. 11:58pm. Not bad. I would have seven hours of sleep before I have to wake up for class. Jumping onto my bed, my eyes immediately closed with the heaviness in my eyelids apparent.

As it hit 11:59pm, the bed itself clasped its grasp on me when a blurred black hole emerged from below, pulling me down into a deeper stage of sleep. From within the darkness that I was drowning heavily into, I could hear the faint crying of the crickets and the ticking noise from the clock. But as I fell deeper and deeper, the sounds grew stronger to the point of nausea. Forcing my eyes to open, I vaguely accepted that there was the familiar white ceiling above me. Turning to the side, I processed that it was only 12:00am, which meant that I only slept for almost two minutes. I wanted to groan in frustration.

The cuckoo bird responded to the time of midnight. It rang with supposedly bright music while crying out many times. Soon, it was silent.

I quickly tried to sit up in order to shake off the nausea, but it continued to grow at lightning speed.

Finally, I waited for the sounds of the crickets and the clock to increase with the silence, but disturbingly, I found nothing but silence. I then tried to focus on those sounds by closing my eyes, but there was still nothing but silence.

Finding everything extremely off, I pulled off the covers and sat at the edge of my bed. Nothing seemed out of place. The book at my desk was perfectly at the edge. My chair was perfectly placed. Everything was perfectly in place. So... What was wrong?

I stood up and looked around the room again. I still found nothing that was out of place, except for the eerie silence. I was about the complain out loud when I found another disturbing fact. I could not hear my own voice. Did I completely lose my hearing?

My eyes widened at this aspect. Moving my feet towards the door, I decided that I was going to ask my mom if something was wrong with me. After all, it's better to touch upon these subjects now rather than later. With great determination, I walked forward.

Strangely, the door was not getting any closer. Was this all a dream? Is that why I can't hear my voice? I pinched myself hard on the arm and yelped out in pain, but nothing changed. I couldn't hear anything and the door was just not getting any closer to me than before. I finally ran towards the door, but it still was not getting any closer. In fact, the door decided that it would be a fine idea to move further away from me.

I growled with annoyance. This was a horrible dream if it was a dream. I stomped in anger and yelled out profanities even if I could not hear what I was saying. After all, at the very least, I knew exactly what each word I was saying meant.

Suddenly, the familiar white walls turned black. My nausea, right then, exponentially increased. I paused in my movement to stable myself. What to do... What to do...

I decided to think about a show that I was currently watching and liking. Naruto Shippuden. Yes. What was happening in that show? Oh yes. Something bad was going to happen to Neji and Hinata and Naruto decided to be stupid and do something wrong again. Why is he so annoying at the most important times? I really hated this show because of him, but that wouldn't make sense, since he is supposed to be the main character! How can I say that I like a show when I hate the main character? Well, it makes perfect sense to me. The only characters I like are the Hyuugas. They are the only ones that are saving this show for me at the moment.

With those thoughts in mind, I was calmer and balanced. I smiled in satisfaction when my eyes adjusted to the dark. With a new resolution, I ran towards the door again when I tripped over something warm and sticky. It was absolutely revolting. After all, I just had my pajamas washed today. I growled in frustration while I touched the warm substance.

A strange smell arose. It smelled weird. Almost...rotten? And there was something familiar about this smell at the same time. What was it...? I sniffed reluctantly to grasp a better understanding on what it was. It was metallic. A strange uncomfortable feeling settled in my stomach. I did not feel good again. And this time, it was for a good reason. I stood up quickly before hitting something with my foot. There was a cold shiver in my back as I turned my head to find out what I hit.

It was an arm. It was horribly scrapped and ripped at the end with the skin blistering and pus oozing out.

I could not breathe. I could not move. I could not think.

What to do... What to do... WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION?! My brain whirred in panic and developed a crazy stage of fear and warning. But what was I supposed to be scared of? After all, wasn't this all a dream? That's right! This is all a bad dream. Once I wake up, I'll forget this even happened to me! But what if it's not a dream? What if this really isn't? Then what?

My thoughts were interrupted by a low rumbling noise from behind me. It was reminiscent of an animal eating and enjoying its dinner. The sound of munching and slurping. And the horror of realizing that the monster behind me ate the person whose arm is right in front of me grew. I willed myself to move. I willed myself to run away, but as if in a trance, I could not even take one step in front. My eyes were starting to mist as the skin on my face heated up in terror.

A tear slid down my cheek when I realized that the sounds stopped. Was I safe? Was this really just a bad dream? Oh please. I will do anything. Please... My stomach tightened uncomfortably immediately.

The floor was creaking from behind me. Oh god. Oh please no. Please! It wasn't possible for the floor to make such noises since the floor was carpet, which my feet can attest to. Goosebumps appeared on my arms at the slight caress of the cold wind. When was there wind in my room? I shivered when I saw something massive and black trudging in my direction at the corner of my eye. Trembling harshly to this, I watched the mass of black cover the lone arm and absorb it, allowing the arm's bones cracking into several pieces. Strangely enough, I could hear all the sounds that the black mass was making. And strangely enough, I wished that I could hear everything else, but that monster. When the noise stopped, I felt its gaze. I knew that it was looking at me. I could not see its eyes, but I knew. I just knew that I was going to die. And I knew right then as it came upon me that this was not a dream after all.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

* * *

Pain. That was all I could process in my thoughts. It was so painful that all I saw was white. No other thoughts entered my mind as I began to associate that color with pain. I did not know if I was screaming because I still could not hear anything. All I could hear were the sounds of my bones breaking from the dark monster.

For a long time in this darkness, I lost my ability to process higher level of thinking. The most primitive level of thinking was all I had left. I could not even hear the sounds of my broken bones anymore. Perhaps, I could not understand that it was my bones breaking anymore. Either way, I was stripped beyond humiliation and identity from this. And yet, for some reason, after all of this, I wanted to laugh, but I did not understand or know what the concept of laughter was and why I wanted to complete this act of laughing. All I knew was that I just wanted to make a noise. The noise of laughter.

I was alive. And that was all that mattered. That thought suddenly shocked me.

I was alive. I WAS ALIVE!

I cried to myself.

Perhaps I have gone insane.

Perhaps this really was only a dream.

Perhaps... Perhaps, what...?

There was a flicker of light seeping through the darkness. It called out to me like a warm siren, tempting me to reach out and touch it. Once I made a connection with this light, a familiar pull grabbed me. This strangely reminded me of the color black.

I flew into a white area and landed messily on the ground. My body felt heavy to the point that I could not even move, except for my head. It was so white. It was so familiar. I wondered why. I continued to gaze at the nothingness with no expectations or opinions on this world. When I turned my head to the other side, I found a huge extravagant door.

When I examined the door, I heard a booming deep voice echoing in this world.

"What?" I finally spoke. The first word I have said since the time when something happened to me.

"I said... Do you wish to live, human?"

"Oh. I don't know. Do I?" I whispered.

"It's either a yes or a no, human. Don't waste my time."

"Oh. Sorry about that." I tiredly grinned before answering him. "Yes. I guess I want to live."

"Are you willing to give up something equivalent to this?"

"That sounds familiar... Where have I heard that before?" I was subtly reminded of a space-time witch and a short blonde-haired alchemist. Snorting to myself, I forgot to answer the voice.

"Hello? Are you listening to me? I just asked you if you were willing to give up something equivalent to living again!"

"Oh right. Sorry about that. I guess so." I murmured.

"Right. So you will be living in another world. Your price... is that you will never be able to go back to your previous world and life. Never be able to head back home and see your family and friends again. I will, however, let you keep your memories from your previous world so that you will not go insane or weird in the head. After all, the human mind can be so weak and fragile."

"I don't know if I should feel offended or not." I muttered to myself. Before I could protest against that price and scream about how I did not want to go to another world or not be able to head back home and not see my family and friends again, I felt my body float towards the door. My eyes widened in horror as I watched it open with a bright white light. I always knew I hated the color white. Or did I? Well even if I didn't in the past, I think I did now.

"Onwards, human, to another world." My body was flung towards the light as I shut my eyes tightly before feeling the light wrap around me.

Dammit. I always knew that I hated white. I just knew that it was going to be like this. After all, white was pain, right?

* * *

The next time I opened my eyes, there were huge people around me. I wasn't sure whether to scream and run in circles in panic like a sissy or just continue sitting and staring at them like I was doing right now. I decided on the latter. For all I know, I could be a prisoner, which means that they were more likely to kill me if I panic like a sissy. I breathed in and out as I continued to stare at them.

When a few minutes passed by, I finally noticed and understood that I was extremely short in this world. Not only that, it was a shortness that I never recognized before. I mean I knew that I was pretty short in my world, but I never knew that I was this short, unless I was surrounded by giants in this world. I then processed that I was not being treated as a prisoner and that the room I was in was lavishly decorated with paintings, statues, and books.

Could this mean that I had a chance of survival if I scream like sissy? At that thought, I almost giggled to myself before noticing that they were all whispering to each other in a language I have never even heard before. I narrowed my eyes at them in an attempt to concentrate on the sounds of their slurs and words.

One of the men stopped talking and noticed my intense stare. They motioned to the others and they all stared back at me. I stared back harder and they continued to stare harder as well. Getting tired of the intensity of the staring contest, I blinked and cocked my head to side. The first man who stopped talking and noticed me reached out to touch my forehead. His cold touch made me flinch because my skin felt too oddly sensitive for my tastes.

"Welcome, child." I blinked once more when I realized that I might have just understood what he just said.

"Nod if you understand me." I nodded in response to their order. The wrinkles on their face became pleasantly apparent when they smiled. Soon, they held a book to my face.

"Nod if you can read this." I squinted at the strange words on the book. It read, "Book of Hunters." I cocked my head to the side at their strange choice of books before nodding my head. Once again, they smiled at me.

"Speak to me, child." I stretched my mouth muscles a little before attempting to speak. Out came gibberish. Embarrassed, my ears burned red and I looked down at the floor. The person's pleasantly wrinkled smile disappeared in a flash and was replaced by a harsh disappointing frown.

"Once more, speak." Their stern voice sounded a bit rougher than before.

Flinching at the harshness, I attempted once more in frustration. "Ah-ah... Wh-where am I...?" I then coughed a little bit due to the lack of use of my new throat.

"Child, this world is not of your world. There are six continents and an ocean. We are on the Azian Continent. This is a hidden clan's area, so no one dares to trespass." I nodded in understanding at his answer.

I frowned when I realized that the bastard of a voice really did drop me into another world without my full consent. I cursed out some profanities in my head while not allowing a single emotion appear on my face. Besides that... Where have I heard the name, Azian Continent, before? Although it sounds similar to Asia, I'm pretty sure that's not what I am trying to recall right now.

"Which side of the continent are we on? Can I see a map?" I whispered to them in wonder and irritation. When someone laid the map down in front of me, my clouded vision began to clear up. There were exactly six continents and an ocean. Looked like my world to me, but upside down and turned a little bit differently. I finally concluded that Azian looked like Europe. Soon, the person pointed out our current location, which was at the edge and tip of the Azian continent with the tip pointing towards the continent that looked very similar to Australia. I reached out to touch the map where we were located when I discovered something very disturbing.

My hand. I blinked and stared at my hand. It was... It was quite small. It was tiny. Almost like a child's... I almost laughed when the horrible realization settled in. Oh no. Oh please no. Oh god no. My eyes widened at the horror.

"Oh no! MIRROR! I NEED MIRROR!" I screeched out when a man quickly grabbed one and handed it to me.

I stared and then stared harder at my reflection. Pudgy pink cheeks with a round face and possibly bigger eyes than before. I stared again at the mirror. Light brown eyes stared back at me. Well, at least the color was the same. Short dark brown hair. Well the short part was not what I had before, but at the very least, the color for that was also the same. A small nose? Check. Somewhat thin eyebrows? Check. I attempted to smile at the mirror before reeling back in disgust and terror. Oh no. It was my worst fear. Probably. Maybe. I mean what could be worse than having the stupid little kid goofy smile? Heights? I guess I could agree with that. But even so...I HAVE A STUPID GOOFY LOOKING SMILE! I wondered to myself in mere seconds if I should not allow myself to smile in this world, but then I realized that would a horrible thing to do to myself, so I tried to let it be. After all, one must be mature about their flaws, right? Accept them, but you don't need to like them. Yes. I will accept that I have a stupid goofy looking smile, but it doesn't mean that I will like my smile.

But how on earth can I have a stupid little kid goofy smile if I wasn't a kid? My eye then twitched at a horrible realization. What if... I turned to see the reflection of my five year old body from a huge mirror. I could have fainted right then and there, but I had better things to worry about than my body. Maybe.

"So, uh.. Old people. I mean Sir. What... Where... Why am I here? What do you want from me?" I asked him sheepishly.

His eyes hardened immediately. "Our village has summoned you from a far away dimension. You are our greatest weapon and will be treated as one. Do you understand? You will be given knowledge and skills of our world. Once you have learned the proper etiquette and common knowledge and once you have gained the physical ability, we will teach you about Nen."

"Uh... Sure? But how am I a 'great' weapon? I'm just a little girl. And what's Nen? Sounds familiar." I murmured to myself when I heard the old man sigh.

"You are quite troublesome..." He muttered under his breath.

"Heh. You sound like Shikamaru." I giggled as he raised an eyebrow.

"Shika...maru...?" He attempted to pronounce the name.

"Nevermind that... So can you answer my other questions now?" I stared at him for a response, but he remained silent for a bit.

"Alice. Come in. I'm too old to entertain this girl." The old man called out when a young female entered the room.

"Yes, grandfather. What is your name, little girl?" The female named Alice asked.

Name. That's right, I had a name before in my world. What was my name again? I could not recall it no matter how hard I tried. What was the matter with me? Well, I better tell her the truth. After all, she seemed like a nice person to me.

"Um.. Well... I can't really remember my name for some reason... So you can call me whatever you want." I shyly told her while waiting for her response with anticipation.

"Oh! Well, that's a bit of a problem... I guess... We could call you..." She looked outside the window and spotted the flowers in the garden. "Rose of Sharon... My favorite flowers..." Alice whispered to herself. "I'll call you Kinra. It means the 'Rose of Sharon' colored silk."

I nodded in agreement. It sounded like a pretty name. "So Alice-nee. Why am I a 'great' weapon? And what's Nen?"

"You are a 'great' weapon because the power of time is within you. Our hidden clan is known for our so called magic or alchemy as others deem it. Even if we have magic, we cannot control time or nature. If you were to put us in a category of which type of aura we use, we would be placed in the specialist category. To keep it simple, we use these Nen circles and orbs to attack, defend, and immobilize our opponents. Of course, we can do other various things with these circles but I will only give you the basic information." She proudly repeated her teachings to me.

"So basically, it's like Nanoha with her starlight breaker or divine shooter along with her other various magic defense and attack stuff. Oh, and perhaps that one Yu-Gi-Oh magic card... What was it called again? Oh yeah, spell binding circle!" I cocked my head to side when I muttered to myself. Alice only stared at me with confusion.

"Um... Yes... If that helps you understand..."

"So what's Nen?" She cleared her throat in order to speak once more.

"Nen is a technique that allows a living being to use and manipulate their own life energy, which is called aura. Aura is the life energy that is produced by all living bodies, which are vital for survival. Every human has pores or points on the body from which aura flows out from. Those are called Aura Nodes or Shoukou. Do you understand?"

"Sure. So it's basically like chakra." I muttered to myself and smiled when I realized how I had simplified everything from the various animes that I watched. There was something about this world that seemed oddly familiar, but I could not recall what it was. I took a few minutes to reorganize the information that I just received and tried to piece it all together before coming to an unsettling conclusion.

"This place is... THIS PLACE IS!" I jumped up and down with overwhelming anticipation at the possibility. OH MY GOD! DON'T TELL ME THIS PLACE IS HUNTERXHUNTER?! IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?! BUT WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU FIND NEN OR AURA OR AZIAN CONTINENT?!

Alice was startled at my sudden show of excitement. "Are you... alright?" She asked with concern when I sat back down.

"Yes. I apologize for startling you." I attempted to get a grip of myself, but it was getting really hard.

She paused for a second to look at me before replying. "It is fine."

"So when do I start training? Let me train now. I need to train now! Give me the books! I need to review! Oh oh oh! I can't wait! This is suddenly very exciting!" I ended up jumping up and down with eagerness again when I started to talk. Soon, my dilemma about never going back home disappeared to the back of my mind.

Alice worried for my sanity when she led me to a different room. I stared and stared before blinking at the contents of the room. It was plain and held no huge extravagant decorations like the previous room. There were just humongous piles of books. I then noticed two books that were ominously at the top of a stack. I stared at the math book. I then stared at the science book. I looked back at the math and then at the science.

"NOOOOO! THEY HAUNT ME AGAIN!" I fell to the ground with horror. It was not as if I hated math and physics, since I was actually pretty good at both, but after taking the last of the classes for both math and science in college, I had hoped that I would not have to ever see them again. Oh, how wrong I was about that. I finally grabbed my least favorite books: Calculus 2 and Biology. It's time for me to start reading this hell of a subject.

"We will bring you food. Please change into these clothes." Alice handed me a shirt and a pair of pants. When I reached out to grab them, they fell to the ground in a loud thump.

"Why are they heavy?" I asked her cautiously. After all, I don't think it's safe for children to wear such heavy clothing as it might make them shorter than their genes would allow them. But who am I to know? After all, I wasn't a Biology major.

"It's to train your muscles. Please wear these gloves and socks as well. Here are your shoes and you must walk back and forth as you read. That will be a rule." She smiled a not so innocent smile.

"Are you a sadist?" I asked her with genuine concern. If she was a sadist, I was in for some serious hell. I was pretty sure about that.

"Excuse me?" Her smile still lingered.

"Nevermind." I mumbled to myself as I put on everything with great difficulty.

"I'll have you know that my neck muscles are weak and they just healed!" I spouted out when she waved goodbye.

"Darn her." I cursed before slamming the door shut. Well attempted to shut the door.

"Why is this door heavy too?" I used all of my strength to push the door. My body felt like a lump of meat. Well technically, it is a lump of meat but at least I was able to move easily before. I struggled towards the books and grabbed the Calculus 2 book again. Soon, I tried to walk and read at the same time due to my old habits but it was proving to be difficult. After a few hours, Alice came back with a tray of food.

"This will be your dinner for today. Tomorrow morning, you will be running around the village with me as part of your training. You will then eat breakfast. After that, you will study until night. We will continue this until you are able to do everything without difficulty. Once that is over, we will teach you Nen. I hope you are of the specialty type." Alice explained to me about my schedule thoroughly as many times as I needed until she realized that I took out a piece of paper and wrote it all out. When she left, I sighed with relief.

"Finally, I get to eat." I quickly reached out to grab the spoon when I noticed that it was heavy. Groaning, I stared at my dinner.

"Don't tell me..." I made an attempt to pick up everything at least once. It was just as I thought. Everything was heavy.

"I hate my life." I said out loud.

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter. I will update the next one soon~ So in the meantime, let me know what you think! :)**

**EDIT1: As a reminder again: ****I will be editing my story many many times until I am completely satisfied with it. I will not be updating the new chapter until I finish this semester for college, which means no update for new chapter until late May to early June. This story was called "Balance" before, but I changed it to "Game of Balance" recently. There will be a few minor changes, but the rest will mostly be the same as before. I hope you enjoy this reboot.**

**EDIT1: I also wanted to let you know that in the beginning, during the prologue, the italics is the future Kinra talking and reminiscing but I guess you can also think of it as her looking over at that specific memory. That is why you can read the italics part by itself and the normal font part by itself without feeling as if they do not flow when you read it that way. Any questions? Just review and I will send you a personal message or respond to it through the rebooted chapters. Reviews, Favorites, and Follows are welcome! I personally really like reviews though. Haha!**


	2. Chapter 2

**EDIT1: So I am extremely happy about the prologue and first chapter now! (For now...) I'm hoping I edit the rest of the chapters just as well as I did for the previous chapter. I realized that I really enjoyed the new writing style I was implementing in the first chapter, so I will continue with the italics, being the future Kinra talking and reflecting, the bold italics, being the future "someone else" (you'll find out later; you can guess, but I won't answer), and the normal font, being the current Kinra. Without further ado, happy reading! Love you all! Give me some feedback on how you feel with the changes! Thank youuuu! **

**Hey everyone! This is the last chapter in regards to Kinra's transition to the HxH world. The next one will show Gon and the others. **

**Enjoy reading!**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I wish I did though.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

_The greatest punishment. What is the greatest punishment? That is being stripped of the greatest freedom. The freedom and the ability to choose. If that is the greatest punishment for messing with time, then what is the greatest punishment for using abilities beyond human capabilities? _

_I suppose that can be for another time because we can now question what is the most important to someone after being stripped of the greatest freedom. _

I pulled a single book out of many. It was a book that reminded me about the bizarre book that I read before I was pulled into this world, but the contents differed. This one talked about the meaning of existence. In the dictionary, existence is the fact or state of living or having objective reality. It can also be described as continued survival or a way of living. However, in this book, it asked whether someone can still be of existence if no one remembered that person. In response, they implemented the idea that one can only exist if they are remembered by someone else. Therefore, people must rely on other people in order to exist. That brings upon a different definition compared to the one in the dictionary. In this book, it basically states that existence is the embodiment of memories. Then what of time? Time is a single variable in which it does not allow any new choices to be made in the past, but if memories are the essential parts of an existence, then does the past only define the meaning of existence? Life is an embodiment of choices, but choices are usually correlated with the present time that affects the future. If the past defines our existence, then what of the present? What of the future? Do they not have a say in our existence?

_The ability to exist is the next important freedom after the ability to choose. Why is it the most important after choice? It is because if choice represented life, then existence represented our imprint on the world. But if existence is merely an embodiment of other people's memories, then why do I exist? Why am I here? If no one remembers me, then do I not exist? Am I merely a folly in this game of balance? _

_**You exist because existence is not an embodiment of other people's memories. It is merely the embodiment of your own memories. No one, except yourself, can determine that you exist in this world. **_

_You're wrong! Then why do I feel as though I am-_

_**The first move is mine to make and your failure to understand the urgency of the situation you are in right now will become your undoing. **_

_You're wrong. This game of balance has just begun. You might make the first move, but I will take the next. You might say that existence is the embodiment of my own memories, then how do you define loneliness? Can one say that they exist when they are all alone?_

_If the memories of others show that I exist, then it merely gives us the impression that we cannot live without other people. However, that is a folly. Even if someone remembers me, it does not mean that they will attach an emotional meaning to my existence. I could just be the girl who fought in battles. That is the not the same as existing. However, it also does not mean that my own memories will show that I exist, because once I die, the sign of my existence will disappear. Therefore, through both, one can exist in a world. From this notion, I can assimilate that existence is the embodiment of memories. The existence is the past. The life is the present. Then what of the future?_

The book then extrapolated its meaning of existence with the idea of a community. If one's existence is defined through the memories of others, then a community is a group of many existences, which means that the memories of everyone continue to build until that community is formed. That is why a family can be a family without being blood-related. As long as one holds the memories of another, a bond will be built and a family can be born. A drop of water, which in this case is a memory, continues to fill into an empty cup, which is the empty shell of a community, then eventually that cup will be filled to the top and when that occurs, the empty shell of a community will be reborn as an actual community. But there are some water that are tainted with dirt. And if the cup's purpose is to keep its water clean, then there is only one option. To marginalize the dirt and to clean the water by pouring it through a filter, which can be represented as the process of marginalization through society's eyes. The desired clean water can be described as what is considered to be normal in societal terms. But why does society view dirt as something bad? For all I know, that dirt could actually be minerals that are good for the body or jewels that could sell for millions of dollars. The dirt could be something special and rare. I agree that a family does not have to be blood-related in order to be a family. However, a community cannot be a community if it is just based on the memories of others, because that would mean that the tainted water will forever be alone without a community or family to call its own. What can be defined as tainted? Society might define it, but I believe that it is actually oneself that determines if they are tainted or not. The greatest judgment, after all, is through oneself and not through others.

_The future is a blurred maze. It is filled with paths that can lead to two outcomes. One is the trial and the other is avoidance. The trial may be viewed as an error, but in fact, it is the path that will give you the knowledge and wisdom to strive for a "better" future, while the avoidance is the true error. It will give you nothing but temporary ease for the future. There is nothing to learn from the avoidance and that in itself will be the falling._

_**But that is only if you have the greatest freedom, which is the ability to choose. Without it, the future is not a blurred maze, but a chosen linear path. Like time, the future will become a single linear variable. Because of this, even if you choose whichever path, the trial or the avoidance, you will fall until you can fall no longer. And even as you hit the bottom, there is no way to swim upwards if someone chose for you to stay at the bottom forever. This means that both paths are the true error because it will give you a hazy outcome that is neither happiness nor misery.**_

_What is forever? Time might be a single linear variable, but who determined how long forever was? Only humans did, but who are we to judge how long forever is when we do not live forever as we think of it? _

_As I once said before, the dirt in the water can be something special and rare and because of this, a community cannot be a community if it is just based on the memories of others because that would mean that the tainted water will forever be alone without a community or a family to call its own. Then what can be defined as tainted? Society might define it, but it is actually us as individuals who define what is tainted or not. After all, the greatest judgment is through oneself and not through others. With this concept in mind, we can determine that it is actually us as individuals who define how long forever is. So if I judge forever as an unlimited amount of time, then so be it. That will be what it will be defined as._

I rubbed the bandages on my head with discomfort as I closed the book reluctantly and placed it perfectly at the edge of the pile. Nodding to myself in satisfaction, I stood up and checked the time. It was exactly 7:50am. In ten minutes, I needed to run around the village with Alice. Grunting to myself, I trudged towards the door and slid it open. Immediately, a small rock hit my head. I felt the blood slide down the side of my face once more before wiping it off with my sleeve. I stared at the small children, preparing their rocks to hit me. I then stared at the adults who stood behind them. Their dull green eyes glowered with hatred and disgust. When they watched their children throw the rocks at me, I watched them snicker at the blood dripping down my head and from the injuries on my body. Not making a noise, I merely wiped and allowed the children to do their deed in order to passively make them bored. After all, if you act, then there will always be an equal reaction. That is why I determined that if I held on long enough, despite the blood loss and injury, they will be the ones to back off and not care anymore. Thankfully, there was more to this than that. I used this time to understand the physics of each throw and determined when and where the rock would hit me. By utilizing such information, I managed to actually do some image training. This training would consist of knowing which pressure points I should hit as if this was a battle and determining how much force is necessary for a knock out, paralysis, or a kill.

"Get out of here, you Outsider! We don't need anyone like you around here!" A small boy screamed out to me, who proceeded to run over and kick me in the shin. I winced at the contact and felt another rock hit me on the head. Didn't they have better things to do than injure people?

"Why don't you listen to the boy, girl. After all, witches need to be purified." A middle-aged woman scoffed at me, while the other women and men sniggered vigorously. I felt my eye twitch involuntarily. The children then laughed along with the adults without realizing why the adults were even laughing in the first place. I swear. The ignorance of these children. The foolishness of the immature adults. It almost tempted me to want to fight back, but I had to stay calm for the sake of Alice and her grandfather. I just need to hold back because of all the endless precious patience and knowledge that I received from the two. That is why I will not. I repeat. That is why I will NOT let them down.

Speaking of Alice, I wonder how much time I had left before it was time for our run. I turned my head to glance at the clock and saw that it was 7:58am. Silently cursing to myself, I no longer waited for the children to continue their rock throwing or for the adults to continue with their mocking and scorning. I dashed towards the entrance of the village like a maniac.

* * *

When I saw the entrance from afar, I noticed Alice talking to another person. This young villager had the most dark hair out of all the people I have seen thus far in this world. It glowed a warm burgundy color in the sunlight as the layers in his hair created a soft ruffle overall look to him. When he turned to face me, I watched his eyes radiating a touch of glimmering forest green shade. Soon, the corners of his lips turned upwards, revealing his pearly white teeth.

Needless to say, my first thought was this: Can I trust him?

It was not as if I could help myself with all the villagers hating me and trying to make my life as miserable as possible. And even though Alice's grandfather tolerated me, I knew that he did not actually like me. In fact, the only person that I could consider as family was Alice. And I definitely did not want to share her with anyone else because of that. Soon, a strange fear bubbled up within me when I wondered if he was going to take Alice from me. As I continued to stare at him from a safe distance, he cocked his head to the side before proceeding to stride towards me with that unfamiliar warm smile of his.

My second thought was this: Who is he?

Before I could complete that thought, he finally called out my name. Immediately, my mind shut down momentarily before whirring into panic mode. Why does he know my name? Who is he? Why is he here? Is he going to take Alice from me? I don't want to be alone! Leave me alone! Leave! Don't come here! Stay away! I stayed silent with my eyes widening a fraction more with every step he made in my direction. Before he could stand in front of me, my feet immediately moved in the opposite direction at a speed that revealed just how much I had trained for the last few months.

Please don't follow me. Please don't follow me. Please please please!

I then heard footsteps from behind me. Swift footsteps. And it was heading straight for me.

STAY AWAY FROM ME!

Huge hands pulled at my arm, where one of my injuries were located, causing me to wince at the pain. I then slipped and slammed into the ground with him holding my arms in place. I shut my eyes and turned my head so that I would not have to face this person.

A soft deep voice chuckled from above me. "I didn't know we were playing tag, Kinra." I opened my eyes one by one to see the young villager grin innocently at me. His eyes twinkled with mischief and playfulness. I felt the tips of his fingers graze against my cheek lightly as he awaited my response. I trembled a bit from the fact that despite not knowing who he was, he knew exactly who I was. At that, his grin mellowed down to a small frown and his eyes that twinkled with excitement and glee was now replaced with plain sharp concern.

"Who hurt you." He growled with an underlying tone of danger. When I flinched, his eyes widened by a fraction before going back to its normal softness.

"I'm sorry. I scared you, didn't I? Don't be scared of me, Kinra." His voice rumbled as if trying to appease my anxiety and stress. "Please..."

"Yuu! Get off of her!" Alice screeched at him as he hurriedly stood up and straightened his posture at the sound of her voice.

"Kinra, are you okay? Did he hurt you? I know that he is an idiot, but he's a good idiot. And I don't mean that his intelligence is low, but he just doesn't know when to act... normal. Anyways, I'll be sure to keep him in place, so that you won't have to deal with him. And why are you hurt? Did Yuu do something to you? Is that why you're bleeding? Or did you fall again? I really don't understand why you keep falling when you don't slip and fall during training. And you didn't have to run away like that. You're so weird sometimes, Kinra. Kinra, are you listening to me?" Alice rambled on and on before I tuned her out. By the time she was finished, I grabbed onto her shirt and hid behind her.

"Alice, who is he? Why is he here? Is he here to take you away from me?" I asked her quietly.

"He's Yuu! He's just a childhood friend, who is also my best friend! And well. He lives here in the village, so that's obviously why he's here... He... He traveled by himself for a few months after taking the Hunter Exam and passed it! Anyways, I was hoping for him to take care of you when I go to take the Hunter Exam in a few days." Alice cheerfully answered.

"I don't need a babysitter." I muttered angrily.

She sighed to herself before continuing. "But you do need a trainer and Yuu would be good for your training."

"I can train by myself or with your grandfather." Alice groaned at my answer.

Turning her head sharply at Yuu, she screamed angrily. "YUU! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!"

We both flinched at the tone of her voice. "I... I chased her?" He took a few steps back when he answered.

"You-what?! What do you mean by that?" Her hands were at her hips.

"Well I thought we were playing tag..." He sheepishly grinned at Alice, who smacked her face with her hand in exasperation.

"Didn't I tell you that she's an adult in a child's body? Why would she want to play tag of all things?!" I sighed to myself when I covered my ears with my hands.

"I'll take him as a trainer but that's it." I interrupted her fit.

She turned with a wide smile. "Really?"

"Yes. But that's it. I won't eat with him. I won't talk to him. I won't interact with him unless it's for training." I muttered with annoyance. I continued to stand behind Alice, so that I would not have to see Yuu.

"Okay." Alice replied with a satisfied look. "Well I'm going to prepare my bag and leave tonight. I'll see you in a few months."

"Already?" I felt my hopes crash down. This was going to be a hell of a few months. Even though Yuu seemed like a nice guy, who knew what he was really like without Alice here... For all we know, he could be some insane evil man, who wanted to ruin my life like the rest of these villagers. I sincerely hoped he was not of the dramatic or frantic type. I really could not stand those. They tired the hell out of me and I had better things to do than talk to someone who sucked the time and energy out of me. With that pretty smile of his, one could only hope that he was not an ignorant child or a foolish adult and was not high maintenance because I utterly despised such selfish brats.

Although... If he decided to demand something of me, I might punch him in response. If he decided to expect something of me, I should tell him outright that he should not. If he decided to pressure me, well let's not talk about what would happen to him. Oh why did Alice have to introduce me to him… Oh why. I was fine with just Alice and her grandfather. But no... She just has to leave for the Hunter Exam, leaving me with HIM of all people. This utterly sucked.

When I stared at him again, he smiled once more at me. It reminded me of all the people who I had met in the past that had pretty smiles but ended up being the most horrible, ignorant, or foolish people on the planet. I was then reminded of a certain evil shinigami traitor with his breakable glasses, who had the most innocent face and smile. At that thought, I accidentally let out a snort when staring at his pretty face. His smile quickly froze and Alice just gaped at me with horror. Feeling immediate danger, I hurriedly turned around and ran off to start my morning run. The last thing I heard at that moment was Alice screaming my name with anger. Well that only meant one thing. I began to run at the speed of light and hoped that her anger would diminish by the end of my run.

* * *

I sat down on top of the soft grass against the tall tree. Pulling out of my bag was a new book that I had discovered in the shadows of the book room. If I did not look at the shelves closely, then I would have never found it. Thankfully, I decided to scrounge through the room until I saw something interesting. That something interesting was this book. When I flipped through the crisp old pages, I read the most intriguing concepts. But then again, when have I never read a weird book since that one about time, old souls, life, and the universal connection of fates. Anyways...In this book that I found, the ultimate Outsider is one who watches the workings of the world without interference. They are not to touch time, the universal connection of fates, and the souls bound to them. They are equal to the existence of God and yet they are beyond that too. While the Gods tinker with the workings of fates, which bounds them to conflict with the essence of time, the Outsider does not manipulate anything. The Outsider merely watches. But.. What good is there in just watching? In response, it said that the Outsider will eventually find their greatest calling and answer to it, using the knowledge that they had obtained from watching the world and its workings with the Gods. But how do I do that? Even though I might know of this world's future, if I am correct about this world being HunterxHunter, then what am I supposed to do about it? Am I supposed to pretend to not know anything of this world and go about the mission as the greatest weapon for this Clan or am I supposed to interfere with the given fate of the world and try to bring it to a better or worse future? Was it on purpose that they put me here? It was not a matter of being the ultimate Outsider in this world anymore. It was a matter of what action is the most acceptable. Keeping quiet and watching for days is seriously not my calling. I refuse to be put in that kind of position. But what on earth am I supposed to do then?

_Time is short. I should have trained more. I should have planned out my actions accordingly. What good is it to know the future but not do anything worthwhile in it? I did not want to be the ultimate Outsider, but at the same time, what good is it to interfere with the given path?_

"What are you reading, Kin-chan?" Yuu popped out from my side with an interested grin, while I outright ignored him. I attempted to continue reading my book.

"Kin-chan! Come on. I won't bite." He poked my cheek with his warm finger. My eye twitched involuntarily. I already said that I was going to ignore him, so let's continue reading. Let's see... Ah, yes. The ultimate Outsider. It is the-

"Kin-chan. You can't ignore me forever. You know... It's only been a month since Alice-" I slammed the book shut and turned sharply at him.

"What do you want from me? I already said that I wasn't going to eat with you, I wasn't going to talk to you, and that I wasn't going to interact with you unless it's for training. I believe I still have a few hours for myself before we start today." I narrowed my eyes at him when I watched him watch me with that unfamiliar warm smile of his.

"Kin-chan. Why do you hate me?" The beautiful forest green shade that glowed with the rays of light dimmed in his eyes. I blinked before registering his question. Hate. Hate was such a strong word. I never hated him. I merely found him a tad irritating. I could have disliked him if he was here to take Alice away from me, but he wasn't going to do such a thing. So no. I did not hate him. What was hatred anyways? People said that there was a fine line between love and hatred. Then that would mean the energy within love and the energy within hatred were one and the same. The only difference would be the intention behind each emotion. Hatred meant ill will and a wish for misery for that person. Love meant goodwill and a wish for happiness for that person. But that would mean they were the two sides of a coin. It would be the opposing forces, such as light and darkness. In that case, hatred and love can be described as yin and yang. Both can be destructive and both can be healing. Hatred gives motivation for the weak, but hones only the logical mind. Love gives warmth for the sensitive, but destroys the humanity within. From this observation, I can conclude that both love and hatred can be used for the negative and for the positive, depending on the individual themselves. It is the same with light and darkness. I once read in a book about how darkness is just pure energy like light and how it said that the only reason why people say that darkness is malevolent is because people only use the darkness for evil purposes. Is it not the same with light? If one were to use light with malicious intentions, then light would also be considered evil. But that would truly mean that light and darkness were actually one entity and that people only separated that entity into two by their usage. Those uses were backed with two types of intentions. The good and the evil. Because of this, the one entity finally became known as two entities: the light and the darkness. The same concept can then be applied to love and hatred.

_**It is never good to interfere with the given path...but if you did not want to become the ultimate Outsider, you should have taken action anyways. It does not matter after all, since any path that you take becomes the true error. And within those paths, one can discover the differences between the forces that connect to each path and choice taken. In fact, you could even see that light and darkness were not one in the same. They are not one entity, just as love and hatred are not one in the same. They might have the same amount of purity, but the consequences of each differ in quality and quantity. The harm is much higher in hatred and darkness than in love and light. With hatred, it deteriorates the body and the soul into nothingness. In that sense, they will become an empty shell in which there are no choices or memories within them. And with that, we can determine that hatred kills the existence and life of a person.**_

_That might be true. However, love also has the ability to match up to that consequence. Once love reaches its full potential, it can immediately drop down to the lowest of the low, where the harm is immediate and as high as it would be in hatred. The body and the soul, overnight, can become nothingness. In that sense, they will become an empty shell in which there are no choices or memories within them. Instead, the memories they held of the love are scorned and that past begins to haunt the world that they created. With this reasoning, it can be seen that both love and hatred are equal in consequences._

"Kin-chan? Are you okay?" Yuu caressed my cheek with concern.

"Huh? Yeah. I'm fine. And no. I don't hate you." At those words, his eyes brightened up again. "But it doesn't mean that I love you either."

"L-Love?" He stammered at my words.

"Huh? What's wrong. Oh. Did I say love? Sorry. I meant like." I almost laughed at his face, since I took him off-guard.

"Oh okay." Strangely, he kept quiet at my side afterwards, while I continued to read my book.

* * *

Yawning to myself and rubbing my arm with discomfort, I recalled the intense training that Yuu put me through recently. That quickly lead to my memory of what happened before underneath that tree. After the short conversation with him while I was reading that book, we somehow became closer, especially after my realization that I did not hate or love him. Still, we never talked a lot nor ate together, just as I told Alice, but his presence slowly integrated into my life. We would always sit together underneath the tree and while I read my book, he would sit down next to me and watch me read. Speaking of reading, I looked at the clock. It was exactly 8:20am. In ten minutes, I will walk out with my book and sit down underneath the tree with Yuu watching me read. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips before a sigh slipped out. I really needed to stop doing that. I needed to stop smiling that weird smile that I have. Grabbing a random book, I slid the door open with my expression in check. Immediately, a small rock hit my head and my injury reopened with blood sliding down my face. Without bothering to wipe it off my face, I stared at the small children. The small children who was so ignorant of the world around them. I finally stared tiredly at the adults who stood behind them. The hatred and disgust that reflected off of their dull green eyes drowned me. It was becoming harder to want to live in this hell. Without Alice near me in this village, my misery and wariness towards the world grew exponentially. When I saw the children getting ready to throw their next set of rocks at me, I merely closed my eyes in defeated acceptance.

I expected the gleeful laughter towards my pain from the adults. I expected the giggles of the children. I expected to feel dizzy from the blood loss. I expected the painful contact between my skin and the rocks. That is why I flinched in the first place after calculating when and where the rocks would hit me. But for some reason, nothing came. I did not hear the gleeful laughter. Instead, all I heard was a collective gasp from the group of adults. I did not hear the giggles. Instead, all I heard was a whining from the children. I did not feel dizzy or feel any pain. Instead, I felt nothing. I opened my eyes slowly to find someone standing in front of me.

"Yuu! Move! Why are you standing in front of that witch? We don't need the likes of her here!" One of the adults growled at him.

"That's right! Move it, Yuu-nii!" The children complained extensively. I flinched, waiting for the expected betrayal from him. After all, who would go against the community that they were born and accepted in? Apparently, I was wrong.

"What is wrong with you guys? What did she do to you that you call her a witch? I heard that it was you guys that brought her here in the first place for your own selfish reasons! So I don't see why you guys treat her the way you guys do. If you want her to complete a favor, then treat her with kindness and she will return the favor. What you guys are doing will lead to your own self-destruction! I am ashamed to know that I am a part of this Clan. A Clan that values its vast information database and archive, along with its long record of blacklist hunting. One would think that they would not teach their children to act so ignorant and show their foolishness to the world, but I guess I was wrong." Yuu snarled with utter disgust. The adults slowly turned pale as they each backed away in fear. "If I find one of your children harming her, whether verbally or physically, that will be the last time you will ever be seeing them. Perhaps that would teach you how to be cordial to others and what to not teach your children." With those words, they grabbed each of their children and dragged them away from us.

"Yeah. Go ahead and back off! Because if I see you with her one more time, you will regret it for the rest of your life. So you guys better stay away from us! Especially her!" He yelled out in anger. He finally turned towards me with those soft eyes and with that unfamiliar warm smile of his. What was I supposed to say? Thank you? I'm sorry? He just went against the community that he was born with. Because he decided to protect me, he has a high chance of being marginalized by that said community. He will be the one considered to be the dirt in the water. He will be the one who the villagers would want to filter out. Was I supposed to be happy for what he did? What was I supposed to do? I merely gaped at him with no intention of saying a single word to him. As if understanding, he held out his hand towards me.

"C'mon. Let's go. I'm sure you still want to read your book, right?" Walking forward, he picked up the book that had dropped to the ground during the conflict. I felt his long fingers curl around my short ones as he gently led us to the tree. When we arrived, an unfamiliar and uncomfortable emotion bubbled up within me.

"Why." I whispered out.

"Hm?" He sat down, waiting for me to sit down with him.

"Why did you do that? I don't need your help." He stayed quiet. "Why did you do that?! There was no need for you to interfere! It has nothing to do with you! What is wrong with you? Why can't you just pretend that nothing like that ever happens with me? Why can't you just pretend...that you didn't see it..." Defeated, I covered my eyes with my hands. Not seeing would be better. Through sight, people develop the shallowness of love and hatred. They begin to depend on it to determine if someone is who they really are or not. And yet, even without sight, they can be tricked into believing as long as it aligns with their personal values. If love and hatred were truly one entity, then would that also be the same with selfishness and kindness?

"I can't just pretend to see nothing. You were hurt and don't deny it. I could see it. And because I saw it, I won't just let them harm you like that ever again. You can hate me. You can even stop talking to me, but I won't stop being who I am. And not even you can stop me." Yuu's voice quivered with silent determination. "Kinra, it's good to be independent, but sometimes when things get too hard, it's never wrong to depend on someone else. You can always depend on me. Always. I will always protect you. All I want is for you to smile. Smile as if the world opened up endless possibilities that will lead to your ultimate happiness." When his arms wrapped around me and he comfortably leaned against me, something hot dripped from my eyes, staining the world I saw before me. The dew on the grass sparkled with the light. The green and brown colors on the trees brightened up a bit more. And the fresh smell of morning surrounded my senses. I realized that I was not actually angry at him for doing that. I realized that I was actually scared for him. Scared that he might betray me and then scared that he would be abandoned by the community that he was raised with. It was not his smile that was unfamiliar. It was his notion of what selfishness and kindness was. He believed that helping me was his selfishness, but to me, all I saw was kindness. Because of this discrepancy, I saw him as an anomaly. The jewel that was worth millions within this water in the cup. The minerals that healed and supported. Do I hate him? No, I do not hate him. I never hated him. I was just scared. Scared to open up and get hurt at my most vulnerable. Scared to find and accept another person in my notion of a community and family. So did I hate him? No. Then did I love him? Yes. It was not the romantic or passionate love. It was merely love. There was no other explanation for it, except for the word, love. Love, the most vague word in the world.

* * *

"And with that, we can determine that love ties a community together, while hatred pulls them apart with equal force. And yet, when facing a common enemy, they put aside their hatred and stand together as one once more." Yuu paused and gently moved my hair behind my ears before continuing. "Even a family that is not blood-related can have a stronger bond with one another if they share memories that are filled with emotional attachment. This brings out the reason on why some blood-related families are so detached to one another." Shifting me in a comfortable position on his lap, he stroked my hair affectionately. "Did you hear that? Even people who are not blood-related can become a family." I merely buried my face into the crane of his neck in response as I slept on his lap.

He turned to the next page, while smiling warmly once more. "The ultimate Outsider is a lonely entity that has no community or family. But when they answer their greatest calling, they put together a force like no other. They build a community and a family in one that can combine the two opposing forces to understand the workings of the world. That is how they discover that this world is only one truth..." Closing the book, Yuu leaned against the soft bark of the vibrant tree and watched the peaceful nature around him. From afar, he could see a girl, who was waving at him excitedly. He wanted to melt under that unfaltering beaming smile of hers. She truly was beautiful.

"I'm back, Yuu!" Alice jumped towards Yuu with a bone-crushing hug before realizing that I was getting caught up in it as well. "Oops. We can't have her die because of me." He felt slight disappointment when the hug was so brief.

With a strained smile, he tried to hide his disappointment with his happiness on seeing her again. "So how was the exam? Did you pass?"

"Yes! I passed! Aren't you proud of me?" She put her hands to her hips with an elated grin.

"Yes. Very." He patted the ground next to him. "Sit with me and read?" At that, she plopped down on the soft green grass and leaned against him.

"Read out loud for me." She whispered as she stroked my hair with her warm fingers.

"Okay." He smiled at her actions. "And Alice?"

"Yes?" She stared at him with curiosity.

"Welcome back." As he spoke, I also mumbled out intangible words that seemed to mean the same thing as what he said. She giggled and he chuckled at my attempt of talking while I slept.

"Thank you, you two." Alice quickly pressed her lips against the side of my head and his head in appreciation. Once again, Yuu melted under her touch and gave her a delightful grin.

* * *

"Kinra, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, Alice?" I turned towards her nervously.

"Okay, so you are listening to me. I'm sure you'll do fine. Just relax and take deep breaths." She motioned for me to follow her deep breathing exercises.

"You could say that easily because you're not the one who has to do this right now!" I muttered under my breath with anxiety.

"Kinra, what will we be doing right now and what are the risks for it?" Yuu immediately intervened in our conversation.

I gladly took the bait. "We will be using a method called Initiation or Baptism. Alice's grandfather will gently open my Shoukou, which will force me to learn to control my aura flow. However, there are risks. Severe exhaustion or even death." I shuddered at the mere thought of dying from this when I barely even started my life here.

"We will make sure to stop before you die but do try your best. I'd rather have you do this only once." Alice warned me as I nodded with a grim expression.

"Just hurry it up already." Mumbling about how the world was unfair, I sat down in a comfortable position, while Alice's grandfather placed his hands on my back. Soon, the energy from my body began to flow vigorously throughout and steam seeped out of me. A strange sensation. There was no other way to describe it.

"That is your aura, child. Now contain it! Close your eyes and in your mind, transform that steam into liquid that surrounds your body. The aura will soon stop flowing out of your body. Instead, it will cover you like a blanket of warm air. From now on, you will picture this in your mind every day. This is 'Ten'! It is the process of keeping the nodes open but having the aura flow through and around the body." Alice's grandfather's voice boomed throughout the area in an attempt to capture my fleeting attention.

"I'm trying..." I shut my eyes tightly with my thoughts scattering into the infinity. I needed to calm the shit down. I slapped my face with my two hands and focused hard on the pain from my cheeks before slowly retaining the steam into a liquid that stuck to my skin like glue. I felt my shoulders relax under the strangely light tension from my aura with my mind clearing up into white. Plain white. It was a color that I had associated with pain and yet this color was now becoming the point of focus for me. It was changing into the symbol of peace. White. A strange color indeed.

* * *

"Kinra, I'm so proud of you." Yuu threw me up in the air as I screamed from my fear of heights.

"Yuu!" I screeched when he continued to catch and throw me up. "STOP STOP STOP! YOU'LL KILL ME!"

"You won't die, Kinra." He chuckled to himself, while holding me in an embrace, so that I would stop shaking in fear. "I'm sorry. I'm just so happy that you can finally learn 'Hatsu'. Plus, it's been two years since you came to this world, so you're seven years old now!" I buried my face into the crane of his neck. "Aw. Soon, you'll no longer be a baby. It makes me so sad to think about it. I just hope I won't have to deal with any males anytime soon."

"I'm not a baby." I muttered.

"You're hoping for that? I'm just hoping I don't have to describe the birds and bees to her anytime soon." Alice threw her hands up in the air with horror at the idea.

"I'm not a baby." I muttered once more. They continued to ignore me.

"Ah, but nonetheless, that is a part of life. We can only hope that she will grow up to be a beautiful healthy young woman, and as her parents, we must do our best to protect her as she learns more about the world. What will we do when she leaves us in the future? I don't think I could stand such a future!" Yuu dramatically put me down and swiftly embraced me as if he was crying silently. I just pat his head in an attempt to amuse them.

"Yes, indeed. What will we do when our baby leaves us? I don't know how I'll live either!" She jumped into our embrace and made a flashy attempt to sob. I pat her head as well.

"Yeah whatever. Can we start the water divination already? I want to know my aura type. I've been waiting for this since a long time ago..." I eagerly glanced at the cup of water that held the single leaf in the middle.

"Kinra, what is 'Hatsu'?" Yuu interjected.

"'Hatsu' is the release or transmission of the aura. It can be used to carry out a certain function and is a personal expression of 'Nen' that creates a special ability or is just called the Nen ability." I repeated word to word on what was on the textbook that they gave me before.

"Good. Then we will now begin the water divination. Place your hands around the glass and perform 'Ren.' We will then determine your aura type." He instructed me and I stepped forward with determination. Soon, the green leaf shook and began to shrivel up into a fragile light brown leaf. It finally withered away with the wind, revealing a small seed in its place. Afterwards, the water glowed a sky blue color in the middle with the seed circling around it at a specific tempo.

"Well you're definitely a specialist." Alice pointed out to me, while I nodded in agreement.

"The leaf must have been affected by the power of time." Her grandfather mused when he walked over and placed the seed onto his hand.

"Usually if the water color changes, your aura would have been emission. Emission is where the user is capable of controlling the deployment of their aura while separating it from their body. Objects created by Emitters are created only from aura, so they are invisible to normal people. They usually require Manipulation skills so that you can control it. Since the seed was moving around the water, I will assume that it is similar to a Manipulation aura. A Manipulator can control living or non-living things and basically as the name suggests, 'manipulates' the enemies. Hopefully this will give you a good idea on what kind of aura you have. Unfortunately, it is different from our clan members' results, so I cannot really help you. But if you ever need my help, you know where to find me." Yuu pat my head with that familiar warm smile of his. Alice immediately glared at him and coughed to capture his attention.

"Ah... I meant, if you ever need our help, then you know where to find us." He quickly corrected himself with a sheepish grin, while she nodded and smiled in approval at his words.

* * *

Looking over my desk, I immediately grabbed a crisp new paper from my notebook that Alice gave me as proof of her adoration for me, apparently, with my special pen that Yuu gave me as a birthday present.

'Specialist'

'Short-distance fighting style'

'Gyo'

'Eyes'

'NO PUNCHING'

'PRESSURE POINTS AND TENKETSU AKA SHOUKOU'

Those were the words I wrote down on the paper. Somehow, they seemed to remind me of something familiar. But I never fought before in my previous world, so why did they sound so... I rummaged through my brain for a logical answer before coming to an obvious answer: the show that I liked to watch before I came to this world. Naruto Shippuden.

"Well at least I know why it sounds so familiar. It's similar to the Hyuuga Clan's Jyuuken." I sat back and pondered for a bit. "I suppose I could always recreate it, but how would I create Byakugan?" I then remembered what happened during the water divination. In the middle of the water, it glowed a sky blue color. Perhaps, that meant something important in regards to my power. I quickly closed my eyes and concentrated the majority of my aura into the center of my eyes. When I finished, I found the room to be very...strange. I did not know what was strange about the room because the colors and perception of distance were very much the same as before.

"Kinra, can I come in?" I heard Yuu's voice call out to me.

"Yes." I answered. When I turned to see him, his figure was a translucent shade of light blue. If I concentrated hard enough, I would be able to see his original appearance, but I was too tired to even try.

"Kinra, your eyes!" He stared at me stare at him. Within the blue figure, there were two colored dots and a single-covered series of streams. The black dots were not attached to the streams, but the white dots were definitely connected to them. I finally pointed to one black dot.

"Yuu, what is that area?" I questioned him like a good student.

"Oh. That's a pressure point. But I thought you would known that by now..." He curiously examined my eyes. So the black dots are pressure points... Then what were the white dots? And the streams? I could always assume that the white dots and streams are the tenketsu or shoukou for Nen, but assuming anything would be a huge mistake.

"Yuu, can you use 'Gyo' for me?" I grabbed his sleeve in an attempt to regain his attention.

"Sure." He quickly used it, while I watched with utter fascination as the white color pumped through the streams from the dots and towards his eyes. That just proved that the white dots are the tenketsu and shoukou for Nen.

"So what are you doing? Does it have something to do with finding your 'Hatsu'?" Yuu's finger grazed the side of my cheek. The moment I looked at his eyes, I was once again utterly fascinated.

"Your eyes..." I muttered to myself. His eyes were the perfect balance of light and darkness. Of love and hatred. Of selfishness and kindness. Of opposing forces. One of them was black and the other eye was white. He was the epitome of yin and yang.

"What about them? I know that they are pretty, but it's quite embarrassing for you to look at them this way." He joked around when I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Anyways, you shouldn't be talking about my eyes! You should talk about yours! Did you get colored contacts for yourself?"

"Why do you ask?" Why on earth would I get colored contacts and where on earth would I even get them in this world? I stared at him incredulously.

"Well... Your eyes turned into a sky blue color like the water did... It was almost strange... I felt as if you could see everything with those eyes..." He murmured in wonder. Soon, I began to ponder about the eye color change. Maybe that was the reason why Yuu looked blue in the first place. After coming to that conclusion, I put away the rest of my thoughts to the back of my mind. There was no point in thinking about it any longer if I already found the answer to it.

_NO! NO! NO! NO! YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT! What is the purpose that the blue color serves? You MUST think about it! Oh. Please. Can't anyone tell her what to do? Can't anyone warn her of the game that she must play? It's all about the balance and the opposing forces. The community and the family that will serve as the catalyst for this all... Please... Before the game begins... Someone..._

_**That was your first mistake. When you stopped thinking about it, I was able to execute the first move towards your inevitable checkmate. **_

_NO! There is still time to prevent this._

_**Time cannot be stopped. Time cannot be interfered with. You of all people should know this. You once said that we are essentially the embodiment of our choices and that by choosing the choices that you took, you are who you are now. That can never be changed, Kinra. **_

_I know... I know... But one can still hope-_

_**Hope is for the weak. **_

_No. Hope is for the people who trust and take action for their aspirations._

* * *

"Kinra. Kinra, please. I know that you don't like being woken up, but it's urgent. Please wake up." Alice's voice was obviously strained with stress and pain. I rubbed my eyes and sat up from my bed in response.

"What's wrong..." I mumbled and looked at the clock. It was only 11:50pm. "It's late for children like me to wake up at this time. This better be important."

"Take this backpack and get into the most comfortable training outfit that you can find, preferably your favorite outfit." I nodded in response and opened the closet door before staring at the clothes that I owned. Pulling out the white long-sleeved shirt that Yuu gifted me and the blue denim shorts that Alice passed on to me, I nodded in satisfaction. Once I changed, I stepped into my white short socks and my dark blue shoes before pulling up my hair with a tie and a dark wood brown barrette in a ponytail.

"So what's happening?" I asked her as she paced back and forth in my room.

"We have to go... NOW!" She grabbed my wrist and roughly dragged me through the halls until a single room appeared. I decided not to question her during our walk because it might stress her out more.

"Kinra, listen very closely to me." Alice paused before turning around to face me. Her eyes glimmered with moist and suddenly, I was very worried. "This is a mission that you must complete. I explained in great detail about why I'm going to make you do what you have to do and what is going on in a letter in your backpack." She shoved the backpack in my arms, while I watched the excruciating pain in her eyes transform into droplets of tears. "I... You will be taking care of the new heiress of our Clan. Her name is Rose. I want you to bring her up as a benevolent and compassionate person. Basically, raise her as we raised you. We, as in Yuu and I. Take her around the world and make sure to NEVER get caught by our Clan. If you do get caught, then it will mean death... Anyways, make sure to take the Hunter Exam with her and train her until she is strong enough to survive on her own. I believe in you. After all, Yuu and I trained you ourselves. Do you understand me?" She breathlessly waited for my reply. I nodded in silence.

"I wish we didn't have to separate this way. I wish we never had to do this. I wish..." Grieving tears poured down her cheeks, which hid nothing of how she felt at the moment about this situation.

"Alice. Wishes are for the weak. Hope is for the people who trust and take action for their aspirations. It will be alright. Just have hope in me." I smiled, knowing that it would help appease some of her overpowering despair for the future and for our separation.

From her bag, she pulled out a new piece of clothing. "Here's a cloak that will help you hide from the detection that our Clan specializes in. Unfortunately, they made sure that you were imprinted with the detection, so you cannot take this off unless you are in a building. Thankfully, you just need to hide your body with it, so you can have the hood off when you are outside."

"What about...Rose?" I asked. The name felt unfamiliar to me.

"She was not touched by the detection yet, so she does not have to be covered by this cloak." She caressed the side of my face as if trying to memorize every detail of my appearance. "Please... Please stay safe for me and always take good care of yourself."

"What about you, Alice? Are you going to be okay? Are you going to be safe? You will take good care of yourself too, right?" I worriedly waited for her response.

"I'll be okay. After all, I am one of the best information hunters out there! Don't worry about me. I'll survive with my grandfather no matter what. Plus, I'm sure Yuu will help me out when I need it. Since you know... He is a blacklist hunter." She smiled at me with that unfamiliar shaky smile of hers and told me that with that unfamiliar strained voice of hers. "Yuu is waiting for you at the secret entrance. Meet him there immediately." I paused for a second before nodding to her words.

"Alice." I whispered out her name.

"Yes?" She could not look at me anymore without crying, so she turned her back on me.

"You know that I love you, right?" I hugged her from behind with my eyes misting from the realization that I might never see her again. She choked on her newly found pain and allowed the tears to now stream down her face.

"Yes. And you know that I will always love you too, right?" She managed to say.

"Yes. Goodbye, Alice." I turned around and wiped the tears from falling down.

"Goodbye, my family... My Kinra." Alice whispered out, knowing that I never heard her.

I walked into the room and stared at the pink walls. A very girly room, I concluded. When I took a step forward, I tripped over an extremely small teddy bear. Angry at the situation in general, I made a move to pick up the stupid doll and throw it at the wall, but I found that it was instead an extremely heavy small teddy bear. And I thought dolls were supposed to be light. No longer interested in throwing it at the wall, I dropped it back to the floor as I made my way towards the occupied bed. A young girl was sleeping peacefully through all the noise I had made.

"Hey, wake up." I said to her before realizing that I might need to be louder for her to actually hear me. "HEY, WAKE UP, ROSE!" Immediately, the girl jumped up in surprise.

"Wh-what? Wh-who are you?" She was obviously disoriented by the sudden waking.

"I'm Kinra. Apparently, I have to take care of you as your newly appointed guardian. So we kind of have to get out of here... Can you understand me?" She nodded in response to my words. "Good. So. How old are you?" I asked her curiously as she bit her bottom lip.

"I'm... I'm seven years old. I'm going to be eight soon. What about you?" I watched her eyes lit up with excitement and eagerness.

"I'm eight. Gonna be nine in June." Her room began to feel boring with no personality whatsoever. It was as if they were trying to isolate her from the world. "Hey, I don't know about you, but I really don't like this room. Let's hurry up and get out of here, so that we can go see the outside world." I told her when I turned my attention towards her. She suddenly stiffened at my words.

"I'm not allowed to go outside..." She instantly replied with a disappointed frown, ruining her cute complexion. It was as if that idea was instilled within her the moment she was born.

"Well now you are allowed to. After all, I am your newly appointed guardian. I don't know who told you that you couldn't leave and go outside, but now I am telling you that we will and are going. So stop it with that frown. It's ruining your complexion." I ruffled her hair, just as Yuu would do for me when I was disappointed with something. She shyly smiled in response and nodded with eager once more. "Now go get dressed in something comfortable. Preferably your favorite outfit."

"Okay! I'll be right back!" Rose hurriedly put on a long sleeved black shirt and blue jacket with an orange layered mini skirt and black leggings, while swiftly slipping into her cream colored boots. Meanwhile, I braided her long locks of her hime cut straight cardinal red hair into one long braid and tied the end with a light blue ribbon. Was her perfect appearance part of the reason why she is the heiress? Putting aside those thoughts, I noticed how her emerald green eyes sparkled with every emotion she had towards me. Respect, trust, and shyness. Wonderful. I only hoped that she would not be the follower type. I can't stand those types. It was too scary for me. After all, they could end up as obsessions. Either way, with her fair skin complexion, she almost looked like a doll. Throwing her backpack and long orange coat to her, I found a pair of black intricate designed gloves.

"Do you need these?" Rose nodded in response before pulling at my hand excitedly.

"Let's go!" I agreed as we dashed forward to the secret entrance, where Yuu was waiting for me.

"Yuu! We're here!" I called out to him. His forest green eyes glimmered with relief and adoration, hiding the sorrow of our inevitable separation.

"You're safe. Thank god... Kinra..." He pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Yuu... You will protect Alice, while I'm gone, right? I mean it's not like I doubt you since I know that you love her in that way, but-"

"I will protect her. No matter what." He interrupted me with the knowledge that all I wanted was some kind of reassurance.

"You... You will stay safe too, right? You will take good care of yourself, right?" I buried my face into the crane of his neck once more.

"I will if you will." He merely whispered to me with that familiar soft voice of his.

"Yuu..."

"Yes?" He responded, while trying to stop himself from crying.

"You know that I love you, right?" I tightened my grip on his shirt.

"Yes. And you know that I will always love you, right?" I heard his voice crack and felt the droplets of tears fall onto my hair.

"Yes. Goodbye, Yuu." I let go of him, but he tightened the embrace, so that I would not escape.

"Don't forget about Alice and I." He whispered in my ear and placed something cold in my hand before letting go. "Stay safe, my family... My Kinra." Yuu allowed himself to cry for the first time, knowing that I never heard him when I jumped through the portal with Rose.

When we landed on an open green field, I opened my hand and discovered a golden pocket watch. "Yuu..." I whispered to myself before slipping it in my bag for safekeeping. Turning towards Rose, I tried to smile and forget about my growing dejection.

"Rose!"

"Yes!" She nervously answered.

"Can I call you something else? I don't really like the name, Rose. It sounds utterly weak and too girly for my tastes as your newly appointed guardian. How about it?" I looped my arm around hers and awaited her response.

"I don't really like the name, Rose, either. It gives me bad memories..." She whispered to me.

"Okay... Since you're a heiress, we should call you, Suou! It means, 'to become King'!" I grinned at my brilliant idea. After all, she reminded me of a certain Contractor girl, who was a daughter of a scientist and her brother's twin sister.

"Suou... I like that name..." She nodded to herself in satisfaction while I began to relax in her presence.

"Well, let's go find a place to sleep so that I can read the letter and determine the next appropriate action to take." I held out my hand for her to grab, but when I saw her hesitate, I initiated the grab and allowed her to get used to my touch before we continued to walk.

"Here is my first advice to you as your newly appointed guardian. To become king, you have to look and feel confident about yourself, Suou." Her grip on me soon tightened in response.

"A girl can't be king. They can only become Queen." Suou retorted with that seemingly endless amount of pure confidence. I laughed at her determined eyes before giving her an equal amount of determination in my own eyes.

"Kinra...?" Suou called out to me as we strode across the field.

"Yes?" Humming to myself, I took in the beautiful nature around us.

"Can I call you Onee-chan?" I immediately stopped walking at her question. Her hand soon stiffened.

"Sure... I guess you can call me that." She relaxed once more at my reassuring words. "After all, we are family, so you can relax with me."

"R-really? We're family?" Suou's eyes widened by a fraction as if it was hard to believe.

"Just because I'm your guardian doesn't mean that you can't be my family. Do you not want to be a family with me?" I asked her as she shook her head vigorously. "Good. Then you should understand that I won't hurt you unless it's for training. After all, family depend and protect each other. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now that we got that established, my adorable new sister of mine. Let's go. After all, we have a long journey ahead of us, so we shouldn't waste anymore energy." I tightened my grip on her hand when we walked side by side towards the uncertain future.

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter. I will update the next one soon~ So in the meantime, R&amp;R please! :) Do you guys like Kinra and Suou so far? **

**EDIT1: The italics conversations might be confusing right now, but you will come to understand it all as the chapters go by. Give me some feedback on how you feel with the changes! Thank youuuu! And live happy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**EDIT1: What's up, everyone? Has the weather let up yet for those who live in places that snow? Still stuck in icy cold snowy weather for me! Can't wait for spring to arrive! Anyways, I don't know if those who followed this story gets story alerts whenever I edit/replace each chapter with a new document, but hopefully they do, so that they will know that I'm not dead. If someone can tell me if they do or not, that would be wonderful. Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I loved writing it. Happy reading everyone!**

**Hey! Here is chapter 3. We finally get to see Killua and Gon! :) A bit sad that we had to part with Alice and Gramps, but we'll know more about them way later.**

**Enjoy reading!**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I wish I did though.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

Inferiority. What is that? It is the condition of being lower in status or quality than another or others. At least, that is the dictionary term. However, what kind of human being is defined as an inferior? Society deems it the children, the disabled, the women, the poor, certain ethnicities, and the ones who cannot protect themselves. Then is an inferior, in truth, the victim? What defines an inferior being? Does an inferior being even exist? For all we know, it could be what society just brought about in order to give bigger benefits to the people who they deem as normal and privileged. The bitter could call those people the sheltered and the spoiled. The poor could call those people the evil and the undeserving. The rest could call them the arrogant, the narrow-minded, and the true weak, who know nothing of life obstacles. If all the above are true, then what is the true emotion behind each and every person? It would be jealousy. With the so-called superior beings, they are envious of the strength that the so-called inferior beings show for their straightforward goals, because those "superior" people are ultimately lost. They are so lost that they do not know what to even do with the benefits that they gained, because they have no specific goal. With the so-called inferior beings, they are envious of the wealth and lack of obstacles in the "superior" people's lives. In that case, the title of inferiority and superiority is brought upon by the emotion of jealousy. This jealousy connects both idealizations in ways that strip us of our definition of humanity, because with jealousy, people wish for the downfall of one another if it can increase their status within society. However, fear can also blur with the jealousy. The superior fear that the inferior would put them down the pedestal, while the inferior fear that the superior would crush them until they wither away. With the two in place, society manipulates the two emotions to initiate the game of being crushed or crush others between the "superior" and the "inferior" in order to maintain the balance of power. In the end, it truly is the game of balance that everyone plays, because whether we fight against society's rules and divisions or not, we are all susceptible to those ideas nonetheless. However, if we were to remove the emotions of jealousy and fear, the connection between the two titles and divisions would cease to exist. Then all that would remain would be our humanity. The very definition of being human. But that just further proves that the idealization of inferiority and superiority strips us of our idea of being human. Then what does it mean to be human exactly? What is the very definition of humanity?

_Hope. Hope is trust. Hope is the core of human beings. It is the very definition of humanity. Because we can hope, we put the past away, focus on the present, and live in the future. With hope, we can drive away the borders that society creates in order to separate us all from recognizing that we are actually one species that have no inferiority or superiority within us. We are all human. We are all part of humanity. We are the very beings of hope. _

_**And yet, humans are the very beings who take down hope. They are the ones who cannot appreciate. They are the selfish, the greedy, the desperate, the needy, and the dissatisfied. The very definition of humanity is not hope. It is desire. They desire more than what they already have because of their greed. They desire to live happier than before no matter the consequences that others might experience because of their selfishness. In the end, humans will bring the end to themselves.**_

_If we agree to both mine and your opinion, then it further demonstrates how important this game of balance is. We can conclude that to be human is to be both desire and hope. If imbalanced, then they cease to be human. _

_**And you would know that because of the four years that you spent with Suou... Betrayal, disgust, inequality, misunderstood, disadvantaged, and-**_

_That's enough. You can stop now-_

_**And being looked upon as the product of inferiority. A child and a female. Both weaknesses. Added on to that, you were taking care of another child, who was also female. Both are products of weaknesses. A pile of-**_

_STOP! It means nothing! We are not weak! We were stronger than most of the adults we even encountered out there! I will not allow you to speak ill of us-_

_**Then why did you choose to fall into the schemes of society?**_

_I needed... I needed to protect her. It was my mission._

_**In the end, who are you to judge what the definition of humanity is when you yourself cannot even fall out of society's game? Who are you to say that humans are the beings of hope and desire? After all, you fell into the pits of jealousy and fear. Jealous of the people who had it easy and was able to trust others easily, since they were not the products of weaknesses. Fearing for those who might become tainted by the game. Fearing for those whose safety and happiness would be in jeopardy. Deciding what was best for them without considering their opinions. **_

_I just wanted..._

_**You just wanted what?**_

"We're finally here, Onee-chan!" Suou grinned, while pulling me towards the center of the crowd.

"Yes. Now, remember what I told you before, Suou. Now that we are here, I don't want anyone to treat me as an inferior due to my gender, so please don't call me Onee-chan anymore." I reminded her gently through my mask with her nodding vigorously at my words.

"Of course... Yuu-nii!" She stumbled on the unfamiliarity of the name, Yuu. It has been four years since I last saw Yuu and Alice and there was never a day that I forgot about them. I fiddled with the golden pocket watch in my pocket as I recalled the last moments with the two.

"Yuu-nii?" Suou tugged at my sleeve as I turned to her questioningly. "Can I go to talk to those people over there?" She pointed to a small energetic boy, a blonde young man, and an older gruff looking man. I pulled out my hand from my pocket and shifted my color tinted glasses before nodding.

"It is not a problem. Just come back here before it starts." I murmured to her. Suou quickly ran over to the group and greeted them with a bright familiar smile. In seconds, they began talking to each other as if they were already friends. I kept a watch on her from the corner of my eye when I spotted a chubby stout man approaching them with a few can drinks. Immediately, I walked over to them.

"-and this person is Tompa!" The young energetic boy announced. The stout man handed Suou the can drink. Before she could place the drink to her lips, I grabbed it from her.

"Don't drink it, Suou." She turned towards me questioningly.

"Oh? Would you like one?" Tompa handed me a can, but I glared at him instead. That suspicious smile only confirmed my dislike for him.

"Suou, here is a learning lesson for you. When someone smiles like he does, that means he is up to no good. For all we know, this juice can contain something that can harm you or stop you from continuing this exam, such as laxatives. That is why you should observe and think before you accept such offers. A smile never means that they are friendly. If they have tainted intentions, you will be able to see it when you observe them. Do you understand?" I advised her, while I heard the other two older males allow the contents to pour out when the young energetic boy mentioned how the juice smelled weird.

"I understand. So... I should always observe and think before accepting any offers. Got it!" Suou's lips curled upwards with fondness.

"So... Who is this young fellow, Suou?" The older gruff looking male asked her. Her eyes quickly brightened up.

"This is my older sibling, Yuu!" She introduced me while grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the front of the group. "Yuu-nii, this is Gon-" She pointed to the young energetic boy. "Kurapika-" And then pointed to the blonde young male. "And Leorio!" She finished off with the older gruff looking man.

"I...see... Well it is a pleasure to meet you all. I hope that Suou was not giving you any trouble?" I bowed towards them all slightly before retaining my original posture.

"Oh. Not at all. She was very pleasant to talk to." Leorio assured me as I nodded sternly.

"Yes. She was just introducing herself to us. But you two must be very close." Kurapika mentioned.

"We are all we have left..." I softly whispered to myself, while I habitually began to rub at the pocket watch in my pocket. At these words, Kurapika's eyes widened by a fraction.

"I... I see. I apologize. I must have brought up some bad memories."

"Oh. No. You do not need to apologize for anything." I tried to smile with assurance towards the sympathetic young male, but sadly, he could only see the softness in my eyes through the tinted glasses. Nonetheless, he smiled in understanding.

"So Yuu! Why are you wearing a cloak? Isn't it hot to wear one?" Gon's eyes were sparkling with utter curiosity.

"Well... It's because of a special condition. Nothing to be concerned about. I mean it is quite hot right now, but thankfully, I can deal with it. So no worries." I answered and relaxed once Suou wrapped her arms around mine. "Thank you for asking though."

"A special condition? Is it life-threatening?" Leorio inquired with concern.

At this, Kurapika quickly added. "If it's a disease, perhaps you should go visit the doctor before it's too late." I chuckled at their assumptions.

"As I said before, it is nothing to be concerned about. It might be life-threatening, but it is not a disease, so a doctor would not be able to solve my problem. But thank you for your concerns." I waved off their worries. Before I could continue talking to them, I was interrupted by a presence.

"I am the examiner for the first stage. Now that the reception is over, the exam will begin. Just as a verification, I will inform you that it is an extremely difficult exam. Therefore, you may miss an opportunity and may end up injuring yourself or just simply die. Or there can be moments where we get accidents with companions like a short while ago. Those are the things that cannot be avoided. Now then... Please follow me." The man with no mouth and purple hair informed us as he began to walk. "Ah. One more thing... My name is Satotsu... I am responsible for the first round. I will now lead you to the area for the second round." At first, the speed that he was walking at increased slowly, but we soon had to jog to keep up with him. During our run, Suou quickly pulled me into the conversation with Gon about hobbies. Deciding to entertain them, I did so without complaint. Strangely, it was not as awkward or horrible as I thought it would be. Suddenly, Leorio yelled out, "HEY KID! THAT'S NOT FAIR! THAT'S CHEATING!"

Finding my ears itchy from the loud noise, I scratched at my ear from beneath my hood. "Too loud." I mumbled to myself in complaint.

_I just wanted..._

When I turned my head towards the person that Leorio was yelling at, the first thing I saw was the soft white blur and the crispness of crystal clear blue colors of the sky.

_I just wanted my happiness._

A flutter of messy white hair that made my heart skip a beat.

_I just wanted my sky._

Those familiar round almond shaped crystal clear blue eyes.

_My world..._

He was on his skateboard, staring at us.

_Even if... it all disappears into the past. Forever._

As he stared at us, I met his eyes through my colored glasses in exactly one full second. I wondered briefly to myself about how someone's eyes can be that beautiful.

This boy finally turned to ask Leorio. "Why?" His voice reverberated in my head like a mellow song that will not leave me anytime soon.

The older male looked like he was about to rip his hair out in any second. "WHY?! IT'S A FREAKIN ENDURANCE TEST!"

"That's not true! He just wanted us to follow him!" Gon retorted back.

At that, Leorio turned towards him with a glare. "Gon! Which side are you on...?" He just laughed nervously in response as I sighed and rolled my eyes at their antics. Kurapika then explained to us about how we should conserve our energy and how there are no principles in the Hunter Exam. I merely nodded in understanding, while Gon and Suou listened to him very carefully.

After a few minutes, the boy with the skateboard asked us. "So how old are you guys?"

"I'm almost twelve! But I don't know how old they are..." Gon turned his head towards us.

"I'm almost twelve too!" Suou smiled brightly in response.

"I'm twelve. Almost thirteen." I whispered out to them.

"Heh... So you two are like me..." He pondered out loud in regards to Suou and Gon. "And you're older than me by a year." The boy turned his head towards me with his eyes locking with mine once more. I felt the strange skipping in my heartbeat and the tense nervousness under his gaze. What was the matter with me? When he faced forward, my heartbeat reverted back to normal and I was once again calm and relaxed. "Well, I guess I'll run now." He muttered to himself as he flipped his skateboard into his arm.

"Wow! That was really cool!" Gon stared at it with curiosity and intrigue.

The boy grinned in response. "I'm Killua."

"I'm Gon!" He announced with an equally bright grin.

"Nice to meet you, Killua-san. My name is Suou!" She introduced herself formally as I had taught her before.

"I'm Yuu. Nice to meet you." I spoke through my mask.

"And you, uncle?" Killua faced Leorio.

"UNCLE?! OI! I'm from the same generation as you!" He yelled out in frustration.

"ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?!" Gon yelled out with the same amount of vigor as Leorio.

"ARGH! GON! I'M NEVER GOING TO TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN!" He dramatically screamed out. Suou and I laughed quietly in response.

"Hey, come over here, so that we can talk more, Killua, Suou, Yuu!" Gon waved over to us in which we all ran over to him. As we chatted about random topics, I noticed that the smile that I had previously tried to suppress became more real by the second and soon, my lips curled upwards, accentuating the dimples on my cheeks, in an honest fashion under my mask.

* * *

"I WILL DO ANYTHING TO BECOME A HUNTER!" Leorio screamed out after a few hours of running. He dashed forward like a maniac, while Gon used his fishing rod to retrieve his suitcase.

"That's so cool!" Suou voiced out. When Gon rubbed the back of his head sheepishly with a grin, she only looked at him with respect.

"Yeah, that is a cool trick! Do you think I can try it out later?" Killua asked him.

"Sure, if you let me try out your skateboard!" Gon wagered.

"Gon, can I try out your fishing rod too?" Suou asked in which he quickly agreed.

Afterwards, I also asked him. "If it's okay, can I try after them?"

"Mm! Of course!" He grinned with excitement.

"Gon! Why do they get to try it without trading?" Killua whined, while Gon only laughed in response.

"I want to see that silver staff Suou has tied around her back! I also want to try on those colored glasses Yuu has on!" Gon wagered to us.

"Fine with me." I shrugged and Suou nodded vigorously. Soon after, we finally met up with the stairs. At first, there was a comfortable silence between the four of us, but that silence was broken by Gon.

"So why do you want to be a hunter, Killua?" He asked him with our speed staying the same as one another.

"Well.. I don't really want to be a hunter... I just heard that it was an extremely hard exam... So I thought it might be interesting... But so far, it's been quite disappointing... What about you, Gon?" Killua answered with disinterest. I quickly picked up the pace when I noticed my muscles hardening and my skin dripping with cold sweat. Shivering from the view down below, I turned my eyes towards the top, where the light was the brightest. My mind began to empty into white with alarms ringing everywhere about how high we were running up. My legs then felt heavy with burden and my shoulders were tense in response to my fear. I was losing my breath once more and it was definitely not because of my lack of stamina.

"-My father is a hunter, so my goal is to be one like him!" I barely heard Gon speak because I was trying my best to calm down. However, when I attempted to focus on running and listening to the conversation, my panic slowly withered away.

"Heh... So what kind of hunter is he?" Killua inquired.

"I have no idea!" We almost hit our faces with the palm of our hands at his answer.

"So Suou, what about you? Why do you want to be a hunter?" Gon turned towards Suou.

"Well... I want to make my Clan proud by becoming a hunter, since I heard that they were either information hunters or black-list hunters... At least, that's what Yuu-nii told me... I also wanted to test my abilities, so that's why I'm here to take the exam." She smiled kindly towards the two of them and grabbed my sleeve in an effort to connect with me nonverbally. I merely pat her head in response.

"Wow! All of them were either information or black-list hunters? That's so cool! All of them must be really strong!" Gon expressed his amazement. My eyes slightly narrowed at the mention of the Clan.

"I guess so..." Suou nervously looked at me for a response. I did not give any indication as to whether I was going to answer or not, so she faced forward again.

"So Yuu, what about you? Why do you want to be a hunter?" Gon asked animatedly, while Suou and Killua curiously awaited my response.

"I..." I rubbed my fingers against the golden pocket watch. "I promised." I remembered Alice's teary eyes and Yuu's dismal smile. The heaviness of my reality crashed down on me once more. Before they could inquire further, the exit appeared.

"THE EXIT! FINALLY!" Suou cheered out loud. We stood for awhile in mere silence and anticipation before Satotsu introduced the area as Numelle's Marsh or Crook's Nest.

"The animals eat humans for food... So follow me and pay close attention. If you lose your way, that will result in death." Those were the last of his words that I listened to. Looking up, I watched the clouds comfortably drift through the broad blue sky. With such slow motions, a yawn inevitably graced my presence and I almost felt like taking a nap under the sky.

Suddenly, Suou pulled at my arm. "Are you listening to me, Yuu-nii? We have to go now! If we don't start running, the examiner will leave us behind!" Her voice held the undertone of disappointment and frustration.

"Sorry. So what did I miss?" I sheepishly grinned and bumped shoulders with her playfully.

She sighed before smiling back and bumping shoulders with me in response. "Well the Hisoka guy killed off the fake examiner... I wish you were paying attention... What if something bad happened?!"

"Sorry. You're right. I should have paid more attention. It won't happen again." I assured her when we finally caught up with Gon and Killua.

"So what were you doing, Yuu?" Gon asked.

"Ah... Well, you see... I was just looking at the sky and the clouds... Unfortunately, there were no clouds today... Thus, it makes cloud gazing impossible..." I showed my great disappointment dramatically, despite the fact that there were clouds in the sky.

"Oh, stop it. We all know that there are clouds in the sky right now." Suou rolled her eyes and I gasped at her words.

"Whatever do you mean, my adorable sister of mine?!" I put my hand to my chest as if she had stabbed me there. Suddenly, Killua laughed out loud.

"Wow! You were cloud gazing while a guy was killed! AHAHAHAHA!"

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head. "Cloud gazing is serious work." I continued with a monotone voice and a straight face. He laughed even harder. And soon, I began to laugh with him. Meanwhile, Gon looked thoroughly confused, while Suou merely shrugged her shoulders and shook her head at my childish antics.

The laughter stopped when an ominous fog appeared. The teasing and playful expression that Killua had before vanished and was replaced by a serious and cautious one. "Let's go on ahead..."

Misunderstanding his seriousness for shallow worries, Gon replied, "Good idea! We have to keep an eye on Satotsu-san!"

"It's not much of that... It's just that we should get away from Hisoka. He wants to kill someone and I can feel his impatience... The fog would be useful for him to hide his acts."

Suou narrowed her eyes at his words and looked forward once more.

"Then we definitely need to go on ahead..." I replied. Meanwhile, Gon continued to look utterly confused about everything, which caused Killua to just laugh at him.

Sobering from his laughter, he then answered sternly. "He and I are of the same type... That's why I know... and that's why I can feel it..."

"Same type? I don't see it at all..." Gon murmured to himself.

"Don't depend on appearances, okay?" Killua warned him when Gon suddenly took in a deep breath. I watched him with a realization of horror and blocked my ears with my hands.

"LEORIO! KURAPIKA! KILLUA SAYS IT'S BETTER IF WE GO TO THE FRONT!" Gon screamed out to them.

From afar, I could hear Leorio's voice. "You idiot! If we could, then we would go!"

"YOU CAN MANAGE ON THAT SIDE, RIGHT?" Gon once again screamed out to them.

"ARE YOU SERious...?" Leorio's voice faded away as the fog grew thicker. After a few minutes of running, I heard screams from behind us and before I could process what had just occurred, Suou and Gon had run back for Leorio when they heard him scream. For a moment, I flinched and thought about whether to go after them or not, but those thoughts disappeared when Killua pulled my arm, so that I could run with him side by side. I turned towards him to tell him to let go of my arm, but the determination that reflected off of his radiant blue eyes silenced me. It was a determination that I could not recognize. What exactly was he determined about? I decided to not think about it anymore, but when he faced me, I was startled to see something akin to worry. Was he worried that he would lose a potential friend if I left for something dangerous as well? I grabbed his hand off of my arm and placed it to his side before jumping on his back.

"Wha-?!" His eyes widened in completely caught off-guard surprise.

"You're planning on going on your skateboard, right? Then might as well let me on the ride. You're strong enough to take us both anyways, so it shouldn't be too big of a deal, right?" I messed with his hair with one hand.

"Urgh. Fine, but can you get off my back? I don't know if I could do this with you on my back like this..." He muttered as I slid off his back and stood on his skateboard with my arms wrapped around him for safety. "Are you ready? You better hold on tight or else you might fall off." I nodded in response. "Okay, let's do this!" As he began to increase the momentum and speed, I felt the world around me blur into a mix of colors, but the most dominant color was white. White, which used to be the symbol of pain and was the epitome of peace, slowly became the color of wonder.

Holding onto him tightly, I murmured in his ear from behind. "They will all survive, so don't worry. Have hope, because hope is for the people who trust and take action for their aspirations." I did not know if he heard me or not, but when I felt him relax under my embrace, I pretended that he did hear my words to him.

When we arrived at the front of the building, I got off his skateboard with nausea. In order to stable myself, I stood against the tree and he joined me in comforting silence with my eyes glued to the clock and Killua's eyes glued to the forest. When we saw that Hisoka was with Leorio, we tensely awaited the arrival of Gon, Kurapika, and Suou. After a few minutes, they popped out of the forest as if nothing had happened. Our relief was apparent with our loud sighs and visibly loosened muscles in our shoulders. We turned to each other and laughed at our similarity in reacting to this situation. Before we walked over to them as they were examining the swollen faced Leorio, Killua grabbed my arm.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Um. I just wanted..." He had a hard time looking at me in the eye.

"Yeah?" I waited patiently for him.

"I just wanted to thank you for what you said before. The stuff about hope..." He turned his head downwards sheepishly with his ears reddening from his embarrassment.

"Oh. Not a problem. I also said that for myself too. Anyways, if you're going to thank me, then I should also thank you for the ride. I know that I must be heavy." I murmured quietly to him.

"You weren't heavy at all." He commented before we approached the group.

"We can't go in yet." Killua announced our presence when Gon spotted the warehouse building.

"Killua! Yuu!" His expression quickly lit up. Suou also held a bright relieved expression but that soon fell when she saw my face expression.

"Suou." My eyes narrowed at her with my firm voice, hardening with reprimand. I had so many things that I wanted to scold her about, but when I saw her flinch at the sound of my voice, my determination withered away as it was obvious how guilty she felt at the moment. In that case, there was no need to make her feel worse.

"I'm sorry." Suou lowered her head and I sighed with obvious affection as I ruffled her hair.

"It's fine. You're safe. Gon's safe. Kurapika's safe. Leorio's safe. That's all that matters. Just remember to never do that again. If you're going to do that, then at least have a plan ready." I softly whispered to her while I watched her guilt-stricken face change into one of relief and understanding.

"So did you use a special technique or something? I thought I'd never see you again!" Killua asked Gon, who began to explain about how they arrived to the goal in the first place.

"I then followed the scent of his aftershave...!" He finished his story with a happy expression.

"After... AFTERSHAVE?!" Killua openly gaped at him.

"Yup!" Gon smiled as if it was the most obvious and simple thing to do.

"You're not normal..." He shook his head, while I laughed.

"Really?" Gon scratched his head. In response, Suou and I nodded in agreement. "Ehhhh?! Not you too, Suou-chan! Yuu!" He pouted at our antics as we began to chuckle amongst ourselves.

"So anyways, why can't we go in?" He asked Killua and I.

"Well the next trial round will begin at noon today, right, Killua?" I turned towards him for confirmation. After all, I was feeling sick when I saw that sign on the door.

"Pretty much..." Killua nodded with affirmation.

"Then I guess the only thing we can do now is wait..." Suou sat down next to Leorio and Kurapika with a sigh.

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter. R&amp;R please! :) Tell me about your opinions towards Kinra and Suou. Gonna update soon.**

**EDIT1: ****Give me some feedback on how you feel about the changes! Thank youuuu! And live happy!**


	4. Chapter 4

**EDIT1: Hey, it's finally spring break for me, so I might be editing faster than before, depending on my mood and health, since I think I caught a cold. Either way, I finally changed the cover picture to a fully colored version! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I loved writing it. Happy reading everyone!**

**He****llo everyone****! Here is ****the newest chapter****. ****I'll be updating frequently, but once school starts in August, I'll be updating slowly. However, that's in the future, so I guess it doesn't really matter to say that now. Ahaha, well happy reading everyone! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

* * *

It was exactly 11:50am. I stretched my arms in an attempt to loosen the muscles in my shoulders and yawned out loud, while gazing longingly towards the relaxed sky. Killua stood up and walked over to me with my colored tinted glasses.

"Here's your glasses." He spoke quietly towards me with his hand outstretched in front. I turned to face him, so that I could grab it from him, but before I could grab my glasses from him, I felt him watching me with an intensity that stopped me from moving and caused me to lock eyes with him. Without my glasses, the wall that helped me protect and hide my vulnerability disintegrated into the air. I twitched uncomfortably. It was as if he was searching for something. Something that only I could have. What was it that he was looking for? I had no clue as to what it was, but at the same time, I did not want to know. Those hauntingly beautiful blue eyes. They kept making my heart quiver and squeeze in a strange way. It was not a painful feeling, but it was merely strange. I continued to watch him watch me without making an attempt to move. Under his piercing gaze, I became increasingly relaxed with no reason to build up another wall. After all, I could trust him. I could trust him, right? Even though I know of his past, his present, and his future as I do with the rest of the members in this group, he is the first that I felt connected to in ways that can never be described through words. Similarity? Understanding? Acceptance? Curiosity? There is never enough of anything to explain how I felt about this boy. This human from this world. More than my bond with Yuu. More than my bond with Alice. And more than my bond with Suou. It was not security. It was not friendly. It was not familial. It was...

His eyes suddenly widened and his cheeks tinted pink when he pulled his gaze away from mine and placed the glasses in my hands. The sudden contact of his hand against mine tickled me with a small shock. At this, we both backed away in surprise. And at that moment, I knew that what I felt for this person was something overwhelming. Something very foreign. Something painful and peaceful. Something so complicated that the only way to simplify it would be to call it the core of balance. And I knew that he knew that we both felt this same something for one another, and because of this, we both pretended to not notice it growing between us at all. Suddenly, the doors to the warehouse slammed open. It was finally noon. I watched a skinny bright green haired woman, sitting on a couch, with a huge giant, standing behind her.

When the giant's stomach growled out loud, the skinny woman asked him, "Hungry, Buhara?"

"Yeah! I'm very hungry!" He responded by patting his stomach with his huge hands.

"Alright then. THE THEME OF THE SECOND ROUND WILL BE COOKING! We are gourmet hunters! So it is your mission to satisfy us with cooked meals!" She announced to us with an arrogance and satisfaction that could reach the sky. I quickly put my hands to my ears as everyone screamed out in horror.

Buhara smiled eagerly at the panicking crowd. "You'll start by cooking for me. You'll cook the dishes that I ask you-"

"Those who pass would have to then satisfy me! You will then qualify for the third exam if you hear me say that it's good. The test will be over when we are full." The woman interrupted him and caused the atmosphere around the contestants to grow tense. Ignoring everyone in order to avoid being affected by the general attitude, I continued to watch the clouds drift slowly across the blue sky.

"AND LET THE SECOND ROUND BEGIN!" Buhara's voice boomed across the arena. I quickly snapped out of my thoughts and ran towards the forest with Suou at my side. After a few minutes, I discovered a horde of pigs running in our direction.

"Suou." I whispered, motioning her to follow my lead. As I jumped into the air, I released an attack at its sensitive point behind its horn by controlling my Nen to enter and stab the inner organs at that area, while I landed gracefully to the ground with no effort. It soon fell over dead before it could turn towards my direction and tackle me down. I immediately took out a dagger and gutted it as if it was all routine, while Suou ran off to find Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio. Once I cut it down to a lighter load, I carried it to a fire and roasted it until it was finely cooked. When it finished, I stuck it through a stick and stood in line to hand the food to the drooling giant hunter. After a few minutes, it was finally my turn.

He swallowed the piece of meat as if it was water and announced, "Yummy! ISH GOOD!" I then proceeded to turn around and wait for everyone else to finish by comfortably leaning against a tree. After awhile, I found Killua approaching me.

"That was pretty easy, wasn't it?" He stood next to me and looked up at the sky as I did before. "When I heard that it was going to be cooking, my mind blanked out, but then I remembered that I knew how to cook one dish, so I guess it would have been fine." I stayed silent before nodding. "So, are you good at cooking? You didn't seem to panic at all at the announcement like the rest of them."

"I think I'm pretty good at cooking... When one needs to take care of another child, they learn through trial and error on the ways of cooking, but for me, I already knew how to cook, so it was not that big of a deal. But if they want me to cook something too foreign... That would be bad." I paused before continuing. "I just don't see the point in panicking about this right now. We have better things to worry about at the moment than panicking about one announcement that could be for the better or for the worse." I closed my eyes and rubbed my fingers against the golden pocket watch. I felt his gaze on me once more.

"You..." His voice softly faded into silence. I opened my eyes and faced him.

"Yes?" I whispered out to him. Our eyes locked in great tension. His crystal clear blue eyes and my drowning deep brown eyes. My color tinted glasses provided a barrier that did not allow him to go further into the very depths of my world, unlike the time when he was going to give back my glasses that he had borrowed and looked into my soul in its most vulnerable state.

"YOU HAVE VERY PRETTY EYES, SO YOU SHOULD STOP WEARING THOSE GLASSES!" He blurted out with his ears reddening in embarrassment. I blinked in complete surprise.

"What?" I managed to stutter out before recovering. "You know... I don't think you should call a guy's eyes as pretty. It injures my pride. Maybe saying that I have cool eyes or awesome eyes would make me feel better." I laughed inwardly when I saw him panicking over his sudden words.

"I-I meant... I was going to say something else..." He muttered in frustration. "I was going to say that you must have a lot of things to worry about since you put away any sign of emotions that will drain away your energy for no reason... You kind of act like you're someone older..."

"But I am older than you." I grinned at him teasingly. "Even if it is by one year."

"Argh! That's not what I meant. You're more... You're different... Very different." Confusion reflected off of his eyes even though he was trying to hide it. "You're like a puzzle that I can't solve, no matter how much I..."

"How much you what?" He stayed silent, while being lost in his thoughts, as I patiently waited for his answer and watched the clouds drift by.

"No matter how much I interact with you... No matter how much I see you and I mean really see you. It never seems like it's enough to understand. Words can't describe it. I just know it." Killua struggled to express his thoughts to me, but I felt as if I understood his sentiments, because I also felt the same. When Suou, Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio walked over to us with huge relieved smiles, he hid his uncertainty with a boyish grin. It made me realize once more that I was talking to an eleven year old boy and not an adult. I was unsure as to whether feel disturbed over the fact that I was extremely comfortable around a young child, whom I had met only a few hours ago. "Oi, Yuu!" Killua's voice echoed through my head.

"Yes?" I responded back with restraint over my thoughts.

"You said that you're good at cooking, right? Then cook for me some time after the exam!" He laughed out loud in a released amused fashion.

Startled at his innocent expression, my worries melted into one of relief. "Of course. Just make sure to tell me what you like and dislike and what you are allergic to." I walked side by side with him as I listened to him go on about how he absolutely loved to eat chocolate, especially ChocoRobo-kun, and to drink tea, while we followed the rest of the group towards the warehouse.

"-and my favorite tea to drink is-" Killua motioned with his arms, indicating his excitement.

"Over here!" The female hunter interrupted his words by waving to get everyone's attention. The warehouse doors suddenly opened, revealing the series of kitchen sets. "It's time for my round. And just saying, I'm very picky about the taste. I'm not as easy as Buhara! Therefore, the dish that I want is... sushi!" She plopped down on the couch with a pair of chopsticks and a small bowl of soy sauce.

"Sushi?" I heard the group mutter amongst themselves of their guess and hypothesis of what a 'sushi' is. Suou began walking towards the forest, most likely in search of a fish. I followed after with the same goal in mind.

From behind me, I heard her yell out, "The hint is that it's a small island's traditional meal. And you'll be cooking here! Everything is all set up and there's also RICE, which is essential in making sushi! One last thing, I'll only accept handmade sushi." She paused for moment before continuing. "ALRIGHT! IT'S UP TO YOU NOW! YOU CAN MAKE AS MANY AS YOU'D LIKE, BUT DON'T FORGET THAT WHEN I'M FULL, THE TRIAL IS OVER!"

Once I found a stream of water with fishes passing by, I observed the path the fishes used to go through the stream towards the lake. In a few minutes, I began to set up a trap within the water. By using huge rocks and cut tree branches, I blocked the area towards the lake with the rocks and used the branches to set up a removable wall, so that when the fish entered my trap, I could place the wall down securely in order for them to not escape. After a few minutes, I caught several fishes and from that tight spot, I easily stabbed them with a stick and began to walk back to the kitchen with everyone dashing past me. I grabbed a knife and scaled the fish. Afterwards, I gutted and washed it thoroughly with cold water. Opening the cabinet doors, I found several spices that I recognized and took out wasabi, cooking oil, salt, black pepper, and sweet barbecue style sauce. Pulling out a pan, I put a dash of oil and sprinkled salt and pepper over the fish thoroughly in which I had cut into several pieces before placing it on top of the hot pan. After a few minutes, the white flesh of the fish began to flake into a soft familiar texture with the smell of the sea spreading out around the kitchen. Grabbing a sheet of aluminum foil, I placed the warm sushi rice that I had prepared before with salt, rice vinegar, and sugar, onto the sheet and molded it into a nice even roll by itself, while waiting for the fish to cool down. I quickly smeared a hint of wasabi over the top before placing the fish carefully on top and wrapped it with the foil. Once I squeezed it lightly to bind it all together, I cut the sushi through the foil in order to maintain its shape and unwrapped each sushi carefully on a plate. When I decorated the plate with the sushi in a round fashion, I hurriedly drizzled the barbecue sauce over it before nodding in satisfaction. Uncertain of the taste, I decided to just give it to the female hunter before time ran out. From afar, I saw a greatly disappointed Leorio and an extremely depressed four in the form of Killua, Gon, Kurapika, and Suou. Hoping for the best, I stood in line and when it was my turn, she took a sip of her green tea before sighing.

"Ahaha... Sorry... I'm not hungry anymore!" I gaped at her with disappointment when she rubbed the back of her head and grinned at us sheepishly. I glanced down at my work of art and took one to nibble on under my mask with utter sadness as I turned to join the five depressed people.

"You guys want some?" I asked with my voice straining. Killua's head whipped up and he walked over to plop one in his mouth. Chewing in a thoughtful motion, his eyes widened by a fraction.

"Does it taste bad?" My voice began to grow weak with my confidence plummeting down to the floor. After all, just because I thought it was good, it does not mean that it tasted good to everyone else, since people had different preferences in the type of food that they liked.

"It tastes good." He murmured and grabbed another piece to eat. Everyone else began to gather around me and taste my creation. At first, they ate slowly, but soon, they started grabbing the food on the plate as if their life depended on it.

"Slow down. The food isn't going anywhere. Are you guys that hungry?" I mean it hasn't been five hours yet since I last ate.

"I just realized how hungry I am after eating that yummy stuff. You're really good at cooking." Leorio managed to say as he ate.

"Although this is good, you still have to cook me something after the exam." Killua quickly informed me, while I laughed at his words. Once the plate was completely empty, we heard someone breaking one of the kitchen sets.

A stout male with a ponytail and with the candidate number of 255 stepped up and yelled out angrily, "I CAME HERE NOT TO BECOME A GOURMET, BUT A HUNTER! A HUNTER FROM THE BLACK, I MAY ADD!" The female examiner scoffed as she told him off. The male's face grew red with rage and he ran towards her with his fist, but before he could reach her, Buhara slammed him away with his huge hand.

Knocked unconscious and out of the building, the female hunter then explained how gourmet hunters work the same way as other hunter, but a voice cut her off. "THAT'S ONE EXPLANATION! BUT DOES IT JUSTIFY SUCH SEVERITY?" From above the building, there was a roar from the sky. When we all walked out of the building, there was a huge airship flying above us. At first, there was a tiny figure jumping down from the airship and I merely blinked once in order to clear out the dust from my eyes. The next second, an agile old man landed perfectly on his feet in front of us. He soon walked towards the female hunter, named Menchi, and scolded her on her behavior at a certain point in the second part of the exam. Everyone around me gazed at him with respect and awe, except for a certain few like the clown magician. When I concentrated on her next set of words, my muscles immediately tensed and my thoughts came to a forced stop.

"A...boiled...egg..." I muttered to myself. That was our next trial. I lowered the hood to cover my eyes and shifted my mask once more to hide my anxiety.

"Are you scared of eggs?" I heard Killua's amused question from behind me.

"Of course not. Why would I be scared of a mere egg..." I attempted to confidently back my words by walking toward the airship.

His eyebrow raised before he laughed. "Then why are you acting as if you're scared of something?" These were the times when I absolutely loathed people that could read my thoughts easily.

"Urgh." That was all I could muster out before we prepared for takeoff.

* * *

"Why is it so high. Why do we have to do this. Why can't we do the sushi thing again. Why does it have to be boiled egg out of all things!" I tightened my grip on Suou's arm, who tried to calm me down by placing her hand over mine. We all watched Menchi jump off the cliff and swiftly grab the egg from the nest. Some people grumbled and looked horrified at the aspect of jumping off of a cliff to land on the nest, but others like Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio was ecstatic about it. I shook off my nerves and walked over to the edge of the cliff with them and waited to jump at the same time as them. I prepared myself for the worst memory to date as I jumped and hurriedly grabbed the line with my head pounding with adrenaline. While I ran to grab the egg from the nest, my heartbeat grew stronger within my chest to the point that it almost hurt to breathe. Once I settled with an egg, I waited for the wind to arrive. Keeping my eyes on everyone, I followed their example when I jumped towards the cliff with the strong wind helping me fly and reach the top with no problems. I settled myself by speedily walking towards the pot of boiling water and breathed out a sigh of relief.

"So you're scared of heights, huh?" Killua bumped shoulders with me playfully and chuckled at me while I glared at him.

"Is it that obvious..." I pointed my glare towards the pot instead as I began boiling the normal and the Tarantula Eagle's egg.

"Well... Suou is the one who confirmed it for me-" He gleefully cackled at my frustration.

"WHAT?!" I narrowed my eyes at him again. He shrugged and turned towards the boiling eggs. I heard strange grunt of discomfort from Buhara as he watched us boil the eggs. Immediately, everyone began taking out the eggs when they realized that Buhara was becoming sad at how the eggs, in particular, the yokes, were slowly becoming fully cooked and not half cooked. I stared at the hot eggs and peeled the shell of the normal one. When I chewed on the white, it tasted plain like normal. Next, I tried the yoke with the rest of the white. Ah, yes. My favorite part, indeed. Half cooked. The yoke rolled around my tongue like a ball of butter cooked dough. If I had dipped it in a little bit of salt, it would have been perfect. Peeling the other egg, I braced myself for the taste of heaven. The moment my tongue touched the flesh of the egg, there was gorgeous warm luxurious smell as if it was coated with a layer of lightly salted butter or cheese. When I ate the white, nothing shouted plain in this world of godly pleasure. My mind shot out the color white at the taste of chewy rolls of drowning savory flavors. When I thought that things could not get better than this, I finally tried the white with the half cooked yoke. It literally exploded with accentuation of the light salty and regular yoke flavors as it complimented the butter like taste of the white. As I continued to chew on the egg, the flavors expanded throughout my mouth and attacked every senses on my tongue. There was no way that I would get tired of this. There is just no way. When I swallowed the rest of it, the aftertaste glowed heavenly as it lingered to remind me what I had just risked my life for.

"Pft." A voice brought me back to reality. "Does it taste that good?"

"Of course. It was absolutely heavenly." I dreamily stared at my hands, where the egg last was. "If only... I could have one more..."

"You know that we're all heading back to the airship?"

"Huh?" I turned towards the person who was talking to me. "Oh. Wait for me!" I dashed after Killua as he quirked an eyebrow before grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the group at the airship. Once we caught up with everyone, the old man introduced himself as Netero and the small person with a green huge head announced that we would arrive at the next destination tomorrow at around 8am, so we were free to do whatever we wanted until the arrival time.

"Well we're going to rest until it's time." Kurapika informed us as Leorio began sleeping in a comfortable position. As I unbraided and braided Suou's hair until it was perfect, Gon and Killua walked up to us.

"Suou-chan! Yuu! Do you guys want to go on a tour of the vessel?" Gon asked us with his excitement soaring. I rubbed my eyes to make sure that he wasn't going to start sparkling in the eyes.

"Yeah! That sounds like fun!" She then paused and turned towards me. "I can, right?"

I felt my eyes soften at her question. "Of course you can. After all, they are your friends, right?" She widened her eyes and smiled brightly at me.

"Thank you, One-..Yuu-nii." Suou almost slipped up but immediately caught herself. Unfortunately, Killua noticed the odd pause.

"One-...?" He repeated questioningly and faced me with a suspicious and confused expression.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Yuu sounds better as a name than Onechayuu, don't you think?" Killua started laughing at the discovery of my 'actual' name.

"Onechayuu?! No wonder you introduced yourself as Yuu." He shook his head in amusement. "What a ridiculous name."

"Hey. That's my name you're making fun of." I grunted and rolled my eyes in exasperation. I can't believe I just did that. I can't believe I just told them that my name was Onechayuu. My life is officially over.

"Well are you coming, _Onechayuu_?" He smirked and I glared at him in response.

"It's Yuu and of course, I'm coming." Snapping at him, I followed after them with a huff. He just shrugged and lazily walked side by side with us. As I watched them explore with a carefree attitude, I was reminded of the actual age of these children. They were only eleven years old and they were going to experience so much in the next year to the point it made me wonder how they will eventually maintain their simplistic innocence of the world, but I also wondered if it was just a front in order to keep their friendship with one another the same as before. After all, one could not stay the same when they experience a pain like no other. Pain. Pain that derives from mainly betrayal.

There are several different types of betrayals. There is the one where someone goes against a person that trusts them, the one where someone does not follow their heart's true desires, and the one where someone willingly tricks another into believing their actions are what they are. It does not even have to be a dramatic flashy betrayal, because even the slightest action that shouts such intentions can bring about any type of pain. Pain from disappointment. Pain from shock. Pain from longing. There are so many that we would not be able to name them all in one sitting.

_Indeed. Pain is the connection between my world and theirs._

_**Because they once felt pain in their lives, it becomes easier to connect. Pain from the loss of someone important in their lives. Pain from the loneliness around them. Pain, pain, pain.**_

_For the first time, we can agree to something. _

_**But it is also the innocence that they have that attracts people like you and I, who have lost their innocence a long time ago. And because of that, we wish more pain would befall on those that continue their ignorance of the world around them.**_

_I change my mind. I guess we can't agree to anything after all. In truth, innocence is what helps the ones who lost their innocence trust once more in the world around them. They then learn how to forgive the people, but not the situation that forced them to grow. In that case, just as pain leads to healing and growth, innocence leads to trust and inner peace._

_**Inner peace. How can innocence lead to inner peace when people are too greedy to fulfill the state of satisfaction? If humans are the balance of desire and hope, where would one go in that state of inner peace? They just want more and hope for more. In that case, humans would never achieve inner peace. They might be able to trust in the world again, but it does not mean that they would achieve the ultimate state. **_

What does it mean to be free from all that pain and to finally retain the inner peace that everyone truly desires when not influenced by the assumptions of society?

_No matter how much pain one can experience in their lives, if they learn to let go of their fears, to let go of their materialistic desires, and to let go of their hatred, they will never let go of their way of life, because by following that standard, they can accept innocence, which will lead them to trust the world once more, learn innocence, which will bring them the passionate fun colors of life, and bring about the forgiveness of the world that will release them from their carefully built prison and achieve inner peace from following their heart's true desire._

_**Pain will always affect and stay with a person no matter how much time passes by. They cannot be freed from all that pain, which is why they cannot retain the inner peace in their lifetime. No one is safe from the assumptions of society.**_

_Perhaps pain will stay with a person no matter how much time passes by, but as long as they don't lose to it, they can fight against the assumptions of society. Ultimately, one can achieve inner peace, despite being influenced by the assumptions of society and retaining the pain within them. _

I watched Suou's lips curl upwards and Gon's eyes sparkle brighter than before. When I turned to look at Killua, he was already studying me with his clear blue eyes even as he talked to the two in front of me near the cockpit where we all were thrown out of because it was forbidden for anyone to enter there, except for personnel. His steady gaze made me shift uncomfortably in my spot as I glanced at him questioningly. He just smirked and mouthed, "Onechayuu." My eyebrow twitched in annoyance and I pouted unintentionally at his teasing. Did he really have to bring up that horrible name? I huffed and turned my head towards the windows in an effort to show how annoyed I was. He chuckled under his breath.

"What's wrong, Killua?" Gon asked.

"Huh? Nothing." He lightly bumped shoulders with me before turning to us. "Let's go over there next!" After a few hours of exploration, we finally decided to sit down at the benches that faced the windows of the airship.

"SO PRETTY! It looks like a diamond!" Gon stared down at the city lights with Suou. I yawned while looking outside at the soft lights down below us. It created the atmosphere into a dim comfortable warmth. My eyelids felt heavy and I rested my head against the window sill. As I closed my eyes slowly, I could hear Gon's voice.

"Killua...?" Gon turned towards him.

"Yeah?" Killua answered with a bored expression.

"Do you have any parents?"

"Huh? Yeah... Of course..." His shoulders tensed ever so slightly.

"What do they do?"

"Assassins."

"Oh... Both of them?" Gon asked seriously. Suou also looked at Killua curiously as if wondering the same thing and I sleepily blinked at him with a blank expression. I felt his stare at all of us when his shoulders relaxed under our presence.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! You really got me going! That's the first time someone's listened to me seriously and asked me that afterwards!" Killua laughed out loud in disbelief. A tiny smile graced my lips from under my mask as my eyes finally closed completely, preparing me to enter the world of dreams.

"Why? It's true, isn't it?" Gon's voice echoed, but as Suou began to speak, their voices blurred into static noise. My entire world then faded into black and white.

Suou nudged my arm when she noticed that I had stopped interacting with them verbally. "Yuu-nii? Are you asleep?" Killua immediately sobered up from his amusement and watched me with an unexpected amount of relief.

"I can't believe he fell asleep after hearing that I was a part of a family that works as assassins..." He chuckled under his breath before muttering to himself. "You guys are all weird, but..." His lips softly curled upwards. "You guys are the best..."

He then lightly shook his head to get a hold of himself. "Anyways, what makes you say that, Gon?"

"Nothing really..."

"You're really strange... You can never tell if I'm being serious or if I'm just joking. That's supposed to be my charm I guess." He shrugged and grinned with his nose high up in the air.

"Oh?"

"At my place, the main activity is assassination for everyone. And I'm not telling you how much pressure my family puts on me...but I don't like the idea of others deciding what I'll do with my life... When I told them, 'I'll decide my own future by myself!' They all got mad... My mother started crying, telling me I had a gift for this job... To make a long story short, I beat up my mom and brother and ran away! They probably haven't healed up yet!" Suou shifted in her seat as she looked at the two uncomfortably.

"What's wrong, Suou-chan?" Gon noticed her distracted expression.

"Um... Well... I feel like I'm lying to you both, even though it's not me..." She gazed downwards with great uncertainty. "I just feel like this makes me feel guilty..."

"What do you mean?" Killua inquired.

Suou glanced at me before sighing. "Well it has to do with Yuu-nii. I know that Yuu-nii actually trusts you both and well... Although he told me not to tell anyone during the exam because he did not want to be treated like an inferior, I just... I want you both to know. Will you listen and not tell anyone about this?" Gon nodded and Killua paused before agreeing. "Promise?" She asked them once more. They nodded. "Okay. Well, Yuu-nii is actually..."

* * *

"So if I become a hunter, the first thing I'll do is arrest all of my family! I'm certain to get a good reward!" Killua explained with a blissful smile. At that single moment, an intense wave of becoming prey, instead of being the hunter, washed over my white empty dream. I immediately stood up, alerted of my surroundings. The other three also examined the area, where the intent originated from, but nothing was there.

Disorientated from waking up too quickly, I leaned against the seat that I slept in and paused before speaking. "What was that...?"

"What's happening?" Netero-san's voice called out to us in a relaxed tone.

"Netero-san, didn't you have the sensation somebody was closing in from there?" Gon pointed at the direction where the intent was at.

He paused thoughtfully before shaking his head. "No..."

Killua glared at the old man and observed him cautiously. "You're really fast for your age...!"

He responded with, "You think? I was just walking, without haste..." I almost groaned from annoyance because I woke up for no apparent reason. This was ridiculous.

The old man grinned and wagered with us. "Want to play a game with me? If you win, I'll give you the title of Hunter!" We all turned to each other. Suou looked at me as I nodded to give her permission and then looked at Gon and Killua if they were going to play. When they both nodded, they looked at me for an answer. I shook my head.

"Why?!" Killua cried out with disappointment, ruining the comfortable silence.

"I'm sleepy. I'm tired. And I woke up for no apparent reason. And I'm too old for this." I complained to them angrily and exhaustedly.

"BUT YOU'RE ONLY TWELVE! HOW CAN YOU ALREADY BE TIRED?" I shrugged in response. "AND YOU'RE ONLY ONE YEAR OLDER THAN US! SO YOU'RE STILL A KID LIKE US!" He retorted back.

"So?" I shrugged with a careless attitude. "Now that I think about it, didn't you tell me that I kind of acted like someone older anyways? So this shouldn't really surprise you." I quirked an eyebrow at him as he groaned.

"Seriously?" Yes. I will bring that up here. If it will let me get my sleep, I'll do anything.

"Yes." I monotonously murmured to him.

Killua pouted before turning around with a huff. "Fine. Let's go, Gon. Suou." I cheered in my head with my success and walked over in the direction of the vending machines.

* * *

I woke up when I heard someone taunting and attempting to use their status as someone older to take advantage of the situation, but immediately, their voices muffled and was replaced by the sound of bodies dropping to the floor. I yawned out loud and sleepily sat up with my drink that was placed to the side. Opening it, I took a huge gulp of the sweet fruity liquid before noticing Killua, who was staring at me like a deer in the headlights while holding his sweaty shirt. His startled eyes shifted downwards as if he was guilty of something and looked back up at me with a newly discovered curiosity and surprise.

"Um. Do you want my drink that badly? I mean there is still half left, so if you want, you can drink it..." I whispered to him and rubbed my eyes to clear away the effects of waking up from the nap. "Do you know if we're almost there?" He stayed silent with his eyes that widened with disbelief from being caught off guard.

"You know... I would rather have you sit next to me than having you stand like that... Why do you look so guilty? It's not like you did anything to me, right? Or did you already take my drink and replace it with a new drink and now you're pretending or something like that?" I quirked an eyebrow at him and threw the empty bottle at the trashcan as he recovered.

"NO WAY! I just saw you. There is no way I wanted your drink that badly..." By now, Killua's animalistic eyes had changed into the familiar soft blue.

Yawning once more, I patted down the place next to me. "Really? Then sit next to me. It's hard to talk to someone that is standing when I'm sitting. I hate lifting my head up all the time."

"You're such a grandma." He snorted at me.

"Don't you mean grandpa?"

"No. You're definitely a grandma." Killua plopped down next to me with his shirt thrown to the side. It was silent between the two of us, but we felt that there was no need to talk when all we needed was our company for each other.

Killua continued to watch the girl next to him as she watched the clouds drift by with the moving airship. His heart skipped a beat when she sighed to herself thoughtfully and it pounded harder when he could peek through the tinted glasses to see her small deep brown eyes. He forced himself to stay still when all he wanted to do was tear the mask off her face to see how she really looked like. To finally see who she was. He recalled promising Suou that he would not tell anyone about how this girl in front of him was in fact a girl, but the urge to understand the puzzle before him pushed him to touch upon the subject. He knew that if he didn't do anything about this urge, his heart will explode with insanity. Immediately, his mind whirred into action.

I looked at Killua, wondering why he was intently staring at me openly. What do eleven year old boys look for anyways when they stare at people? For all I know, he could just so happen to be looking this way but is actually thinking about something entirely different. I mean I do that sometimes too, which is why I would understand, but there was a determined glint in his eyes that indicated otherwise. "Is something the matter?" I voiced out my concern.

"I... I was just wondering what you were thinking so hard about." He easily slipped out a small lie before continuing. "You don't really seem to care if I was an assassin or not and that I just killed someone on the way here." Although he was curious about that, it was not what he wanted to ask her. Why is it so hard to ask? He almost groaned in frustration.

"Oh. You killed someone on the way here? Huh. Well they probably did something to piss you off and they are obviously stupid if they can't even judge someone's power level, seeing how they died or whatnot. Anyways, your inevitable background, actions, and circumstances don't make you who you are. They are just mere paths that lead you to reach this point in your life. In fact, people should judge others based on their personality and how they treat others who are important to them." I stared at Killua, whose eyes were glazed as if he was enchanted by a foreign influence. His hand reached out slowly towards my face and I patiently watched him to make sure that he was not going to take off my mask or anything like that. Instead, he grabbed the tinted glasses from me and placed that next to him before reaching out at my face again. Before I had time to process and back away from him, I felt his fingers graze against the skin near my eye and immediately, he pulled me into a headlock. "Urgh." I grunted out.

Killua realized that what he was doing was dangerous on so many levels and that he almost crossed the line that the two set in the beginning of the second part of the exam, but he found that as they spent more time together, whether there was Gon or Suou, the bond between them grew exponentially and soon they both won't be able to pretend or ignore that it never existed in the first place. He whispered from behind her ear, "I told you to stop wearing those glasses."

I shivered at the warm breath that touched my sensitive skin from behind me and the touch of his skin on mine tingled pleasantly. But when his voice reverberated in my ear, my heart pounded without my consent and my skin burned at his will. What was wrong with me? This is seriously ridiculous! C'mon, Kinra! Get a hold of yourself! You can win against this eleven year old boy!

He relaxed against her with her scent overpowered his senses. There was no word that could describe how she smelled. Innocent as a newborn, but familiar and safe as...the existence of 'her.'

When I felt his muscles loosened ever so slightly, I took advantage of this and quickly turned him over with my hand gripping one of his arms in place and using the side of my body and the wall to lock the other. I held a serious expression before letting out a bright satisfied smile. A series of giggles bubbled up from my throat when I realized that I might win this game that they were playing on who can keep one in place for the longest. I leaned against the crane of his neck because of how much I kept laughing gleefully.

Killua could not breathe. Her lips grazed against his skin unintentionally as she laughed with that pure voice of hers. His mind blanked into white when her fingers tightened their grip on his arm and when the warmth from the side of her body through her cloak seeped into his other arm. Her other hand grabbed his shoulder to stable herself and her legs were tangled with his, so that he would not be able to move. When her laugh grew louder, his eyes widened. He wanted to see. He really wanted to see her smile. He really wanted to know how she looked like when she was laughing like that. So two can play at this game, he was going to win. No. Matter. What.

I yelped in surprise when he took advantage of my continuous laughing session and used his strength to get out of my hold on him. This time, he was the one on top, but I, still infected by the excitement, smiled playfully.

Killua had kept her in place, so that she would not be able to move no matter how much she wanted to, leaving one hand of his free. He briefly wondered if she knew how much her actions could affect him before appreciating what he was seeing in front of him. Somehow, during their scuffle, her hood had fallen off, revealing the locks of her velvety dark brown hair. Instead of teasing her, he stared into those rare deep brown eyes. It was not the color of her eyes that were rare, but the fact that since she always covered her eyes with the glasses or closed them with her smiles, leaving no room to reveal them to the world, it was rare for anyone to stare into those eyes that could see all. His fingers stroked through her hair in a curious fashion as he could see the small nose through the mask. It tempted him to touch it, but he ended up leaning forward with his lips near her ear. "Just to let you know, I'm going to remove that mask off your face because I want to confirm something."

My smile immediately was replaced with horror. "What?" Quickly, I struggled through his grip when his freed hand enforced the locking and glared at him when I officially could not move at all. "Please don't. Please." I hoped that he would listen to me.

"On one condition." He gazed at me seriously.

"What is it." I no longer held the carefree attitude as I did a second ago.

"Answer my question truthfully and I won't take it off." Killua waited for my response. When I nodded timidly, he grinned in satisfaction.

He paused before asking. "Are you a girl?" I felt my skin dripping with sweat, because of what he had just implied in knowing. What was I supposed to say? What was the best action to take? Should I answer him or should I keep quiet? What do I do? My mind soon blanked when I found his intensely hypnotizing blue eyes connect with mine.

Killua noticed that she was taking too long in answering, so he decided to just go for it. With his eyes never leaving her deep brown eyes, he leaned towards her until his cheek grazed against her own. When his lips touched the fabric of the mask, he felt the soft skin on her small nose as he pulled the mask off of her with his teeth. When he was sure that she was not going to move away anytime soon, he hurriedly put the mask in his hand before locking her in place once again.

When I felt his skin touch mine, I was paralyzed by a strange emotion. It was not fear. It was not terror. It was something akin to excitement. My mind, hazy from thinking too much, was thoroughly confused as to how to react to such a situation. The only clear thought that I managed to keep was what he wanted from me. No. It wasn't about what he wanted from me. It was more along the lines of what he wanted to discover from the puzzle that is me.

He was surprised. She looked pretty normal with her round face, small lips, small nose, and thin eyebrows. Her appearance shouted out the word, female, to him and he smiled at that. It made him quite happy that despite her independent, carefree, careful, and strong personality, she was... Overwhelming. He was very certain that no matter her appearance, she would still have had the soul that bonded so deeply with him. Although he had to admit that with her innocent appearance and her wise personality, she was like a baby tiger or a lazy koala. "That wasn't too bad, now was it?" He released her from his hold. "You seriously have a girly face. No wonder, you didn't want people to see how you looked." He began to memorize every detail on her face, starting from her silky hair to the bottom pink lip that she bit.

From the knowing glint in his eyes as he handed back my mask and my glasses, I knew that he knew that I was not male and that he pretended to not know because he wanted to hear it from me personally and was giving me the time to do so. I still felt my skin melting from the heat of his skin on mine and the smell of sweet chocolate overriding my senses when his hair tickled me as his lip grazed against my cheek, while he bit the mask off. I shivered at how piercing his gaze was without any intent to look away from me when he did all of that. My heart thumped furiously when I recalled all of this over and over again as if it was a broken record. I found that I could not breathe properly after what happened as my skin scorched in confusion. I felt so blown away to the point that I never noticed my mask and glasses laid unforgotten next to me. I peeked at him shyly and noticed him looking at me with an unreadable expression. Eventually, it turned into an innocent apologetic smile for his actions towards her. See? He's just an eleven year old child, so he was just being innocent about his actions. But I knew that I could not trick myself into believing that. I knew that he knew exactly what he was doing and because of that, when he took the mask off of me, I could only see him as someone older. He never seemed to deny that he was in the wrong here anyways, so I just nodded in acceptance of his apology. Soon, my heart calmed down and my mind whirred into a peaceful sleepy state, even though my cheeks and ears continued to burn like a fire. There was a soothing silence as we both looked at the sky. Despite this comfort, there was a small uncertainty that remained in my heart. Whether to tell Killua outright of my gender, despite him already knowing, or not. I reached out to the sky with my hand and closed my eyes. When I waited for the wind to blow against me, I remembered with disappointment that we were inside an airship and held my hand against my heart.

"What are you doing?" Killua asked me questioningly.

"Well, whenever I feel anxious or I feel unsettled about something, I would pretend that the solution to that something or that the goal is in the sky, so I reach out for the sky in hopes of grabbing the peaceful feeling of satisfaction and as I close my eyes and feel the wind blow through me, it feels as though it is blowing away all of my problems and filling me with a newly found peace in order to prepare to face and solve all of those issues. So when the wind finishes blowing against me, I pretend to grab it from the sky and pull it to my heart in an effort to continue the peace inside me. So when I open my eyes again, I feel like I have the courage to move forward once more." Suddenly, embarrassment at explaining my calming ritual skyrocketed. He would obviously think it's weird for someone to do that to find themselves again.

"Hmm. I think I'll try that out one day." I heard him thoughtfully voice out softly.

I widened my eyes and looked up at him before an inevitable laughter bubbled up from me. "It might not even work for you." My lips curled upwards with amusement.

"It will work..." He smiled knowingly.

"How do you know?"

He reached out his hand towards the sky and turned towards me. "It's because it works for the person who I feel the most connection to." At those words, all I could do was smile with him before we faced the sky together in silence.

Killua watched her smile and laugh, discovering with delight of the dimples that appeared on her cheeks and the clear sound of her voice that is not muffled by the mask. Eventually, his heart thud furiously against his chest, begging him to move closer to the girl next to him in which he obeyed willingly. After every second and minute passed by, he scooted an inch closer to her without her noticing. When he was only an inch apart from touching her, she fell asleep with her head bobbing up and down unwillingly. He took this chance to let her use his shoulder as a pillow. At her touch, he quivered at how peaceful his heart became for a moment when it instead began to squeeze uncomfortably in an effort to inform him that it just was not enough. But when she curled up closer to him at the crane of his neck and sighed in satisfaction, he felt a sense of relief and was at complete ease for the first time in forever. This was perfect. This was what he wanted from her. Now he knew. The first answer to the puzzle. He breathed in her scent with a hidden smile and wrapped his arm around her before leaning his head against hers with no attempt at trying to retrieve his forgotten shirt that was on the ground. That first answer to the puzzle was that... She was peace.

Before I had fallen asleep, the last thing I remembered was the warm encouraging breathtaking sunrise among the fluffy clouds. It was the perfect scenery for the atmosphere I was in because for the first time in four years, I was completely at ease in a way that I thought would be impossible in my lifetime here. That ease was in the form of Killua. The first answer to the puzzle. To me, he was peace.

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**R&amp;R if you enjoyed reading this chapter! Tell me what you think so far! :D The next one will have some more Killua x Kinra moments~~ Ahahah **

**EDIT1: Just to clarify the scene between Killua and Kinra near the end of this chapter: So I realize that some of you might say that the scene was too intimate or that it was too fast, but this was not a scene for romantic or sexual purposes. In fact, it is very far from that. They have no romantic or sexual feelings for each other at the moment. (After all, they are both too young for that and just met.) It's a little hard to explain actually. Let's just say that Kinra is attracted to his very soul, but not to his body, so it is not pedophilia, but because he is eleven and she is technically older than twelve, she tries to deny the bond they have and reminds herself that she shouldn't be this attached or close to someone who she just met about a day ago and who is technically way younger than her. But when he acts like an adult, it makes her confused in a way that shocks her. In this scene, I just wanted to show the growing bond between the two in its most raw form in order to show that it cannot be simply labeled as a friendship or a relationship. I also wanted to express the distinct differences between them that show how they are opposite of one another (hence, the reason why Kinra calls their bond to be something along the lines of the core of balance or yin and yang), despite their similarities. And because the two are quite awkward in the realm of friendship and relationship, I felt it was perfectly fine for them to explore it in their own comfortable way without the regulations that society made in regards to what is the correct way to approach a bond. Of course, they both need to consent and agree to go about it in the way they do for it. I also know that Killua took the mask off of her without her full consent, but she is not a weak character, so she would have used her Nen ability if she really did not want him to see her face. Not to mention, Killua is eleven, so he can be impulsive at times like when he pulled the mask off of her with his teeth and wanting to know how she looked without the mask or whatnot, but he realized his mistake and apologized to her, albeit silently, owning up to the consequences for his actions. Anyways, the connection between them can currently be considered to be in the most animalistic, simple, and intimate form yet. Another thing to consider is that I meant for this scene to be shown in the way that Killua was taking down each and every one of the walls that Kinra puts up to protect herself and to hide her sensitive vulnerable state, which is why he seemed more assertive than usual, which hinted at the distinct invasive masculinity. The masculinity is to accentuate the 'being opposites' factor and the invasive part is how she feels when he takes down her walls to see her vulnerability, but thankfully, they both realize that after being stripped down to their most vulnerable stages where their fears could be seen (with him, his fear was being seen as a member of a family that kills for money and being seen after he had just killed someone in cold blood; with her, her fear was being seen as a product of weakness or an inferior or as just a weak little girl) they are more comfortable with each other and experience the state of inner peace in that moment in time. I wanted to show how they both are trying to discover what they wanted from each other for this entire chapter, so once the walls were gone and all that was left were two vulnerable souls, they can begin to clearly see what the first answer is to the puzzle they discovered in the form of one another, which is inner peace. Let me reiterate that this scene was not for romantic purposes and that they both do not have any romantic or sexual feelings for each other right now. I wanted to show that by showing one's vulnerability early on and understanding the flaws and raw form of someone, a bond's potential to grow into something greater can lead to so many paths. For one, since it's about the way their souls interact with one another, if they fall in love after all of that, I would say that it is golden. Anyways, if you guys have any questions about anything in regards to this story, then feel free to pm message me or review. I will be happy to answer any questions or clarifications that you need in order to understand this story. Stay healthy and keep warm during the winter! See you all soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**EDIT1: Still a little sick, but I'm definitely getting better. There isn't much of philosophical arguments here between the future Kinra and the unknown enemy, but I feel like this chapter doesn't really need it. And it might be the same for the next few chapters, but who knows about that. :) Anyways, enjoy reading this chapter! **

**Hey! I decided to update today. Since it's really hot today, I feel like eating something cold and sweet. Any suggestions? Ahaha I can't eat ice cream though. Had a traumatic experience with it that caused me to avoid ice cream, especially vanilla flavor. *shudders* Anyways, I wasn't sure if I made Killua a bit OOC or not. Hopefully I kept him in character.. If not, then sorry! Well, happy reading! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

* * *

It was very warm. Very soft. What was it? I was so comfortable to the point that I contemplated on sleeping some more, but then I realized that when I fell asleep, I was not on a bed, but on a chair, so what was it that was so warm and soft? I blinked and turned my head to see Killua, sleeping peacefully. Oh. It was Killua that was warm. When did he get here? I tried to recall what happened before I fell asleep but it was fuzzy at best. I sighed with the intention of letting it all go when I noticed how amazingly comfortable his shoulder was. I doubted my sister from my world could compare with his. Shaking those thoughts away, I rubbed my eyes and shook him as he mumbled with exhaustion.

"Killua, wake up." I whispered to him as I handed him his shirt that he put on with ease, despite how sleepy he was. I quickly stood up from my seat and stretched to loosen up my muscles before putting on my mask. "You know, Killua, your shoulder is the best pillow out of all the shoulders I tried to use as a pillow! You should be proud of it!" I grinned as I gave him a thumbs up with him sheepishly grinning back at me.

As I watched his eyes go into focus, I pulled up my hood and began to walk side by side with him. "Gon and the others must be waiting for us." I murmured to myself as I began to notice that Killua had a hard time looking at me in the eye.

"Killua." I called out to him. He paused in his tracks and slowly turned towards me.

"Yeah?"

"Is something the matter?"

"Huh? Um. Yeah." He never faced my way as he said that but his cheeks were painted scarlet red when he walked faster than before.

"Um... Are you sure? You're a bit red..." I trialed off as I saw his ears darken in color too. "Well, I'll just believe you then. Come on! Let's go!" Slipping my glasses on, I pulled at his arm as we ran off to meet the others.

* * *

We were finally at the top of trick tower. I remembered how we had to find the hidden doors and dragged Suou away. As we tapped at each part of the trick tower, Suou and I discovered two doors. "We'll meet you guys at the bottom, Gon, Killua, Kurapika, Leorio!" I called out to them as I watched them find four conveniently placed doors. They replied with affirmative as we all fell into them. When I opened my eyes, I found that I was all by myself. It made me relieved and yet I also felt nervous. After all, it has been awhile since I last did something by myself. When I examined the room carefully, I found a paper on the wall.

"Find the exit of the Maze by following the unknown! There are two paths. Follow only one. The unknown is faster. If you can't see it, go only right to be right. If you can see it, go only left to be right. Smiley face? What the hell does that mean?" I glared at the paper as a door automatically opened.

"Well what do you know... It's such a pleasure to be here." I rolled my eyes and entered into the next area. My jaw dropped when I saw that it really was a maze. Just my luck. I already knew that I had no sense of direction, but this was ridiculous.

"Do you hate me?" I whispered out with absolute horror before deciding to walk in a random direction. And just as I expected, I reached a dead end. "WHY!?" I shook my head in absolute rejection. However, as I walked closer to the wall, I noticed two doors that were side by side with each other. I sighed and reached for a coin in my pocket.

"Heads is left and tails is right." I flipped it and got heads. I reluctantly turned the knob for the left door. When I saw the slightest signs of it being blocked off by a wall, I hurriedly began to spin with my Nen as a defense against the knives that fell from the top. I focused my senses around me to protect myself from any imminent danger, but found none.

"Well, left was definitely a bad choice. Wait a second... If you can't see it, then go only right to be correct... Perhaps..." I activated Mirai Yochi no Me (All-Seeing Eye) or Yochigan (Foreseeing Eye). As I had hoped, there were two doors that blended in with the wall, which were covered with Nen. "What did it say again...? If you can't see it, go only right. Go only left when you can see it... Maybe it was talking about how you have to do it back and forth? But it said that I should only follow one way... For now, I should just take the left Nen covered doors..." I pushed open the door and continued to open the left Nen-covered doors before arriving at an area that had no Nen-covered doors.

"Great. Does this mean that I'm going to be stuck here?" I walked straight until I was face to face with two doors. When I looked at it with my Yochigan, I still saw nothing that indicated Nen.

"Find the exit of the Maze by following the unknown! There are two paths. Follow only one. The unknown is faster. If you can't see it, go only right to be right. If you can see it, go only left to be right. I can't see anything at all... If I die because of this, then so be it." I took a deep breath and resolved myself before pushing open the door with great speed. As I cautiously entered the broad room, a loud voice boomed out. "THIRD ROUND! SECOND AND THIRD ARRIVED! HANZO AND KINRA. TIME USED: 7 HOURS AND 15 MINUTES!"

"WHAT?! I'M NOT FIRST!" Hanzo glared at me and Hisoka as I sat down on the cold floor, waiting for Suou to arrive. After Illumi arrived, the loud voice boomed once more.

"THIRD ROUND! FIFTH ARRIVED! SUOU ROSE! TIME USED: 8 HOURS EXACTLY!" She jumped down elegantly when she spotted me.

"Yuu-nii!" Suou hugged me before sitting down next to me.

"That was fast. Proud of you." I pat her on the head before letting her lean against my arm. At first, we talked about what happened during our trials, but soon, Suou fell asleep from exhaustion. After a long while, Gon and the others finally appeared. An awake Suou jumped up and ran over to them excitedly. I soon followed her and greeted them all.

"Hey Gon! Killua! How did it go?" I asked as Killua managed to lower his gaze away from me. He did it again. Why? Did I do something to offend him? What was wrong with him? Or is there something wrong with me? Why should I care if he doesn't look at me in the eye like he does with the others? I don't understand. I don't understand anything. Even as Gon animatedly explained to us what happened during their trial, whenever Killua met my eyes, he would quickly turn the other direction towards either Gon or Suou. Unable to bear this sudden change in treatment, I decided to ask him.

"Killu-" A loud voice interrupted me, but Killua heard me call out his name as he turned around to face me.

"END OF THE ROUND TIME! THIRD ROUND! NUMBER OF PARTICIPANTS WHO REACHED THE GOAL: 31 INCLUDING ONE DEAD!" As we exited the broad room, I felt as if my words and my thoughts had drowned out into a vast emptiness. Even as Killua continued to look at me, I ended up keeping quiet. What would I even say to him? I impulsively called out to him just because of something trivial. I watched the examiner talk about the rounds and bring out a box.

"A lottery? What for?"

"To determine the hunters and the prey." He grinned as we all shivered from his tone of voice. "Inside the box, there are 30 numbered cards. These numbers are just the ones that were given to you in the beginning of the competition. You will all pick a card. We will pick a card in the order you arrived at the tower's bottom." The examiner stated as Hisoka grabbed one first. I began to walk forward when Hanzo stood in front of me.

"Let me go first." A frown and an expectance for me to listen to him graced his face. My eye immediately twitched at this.

"Why should I? Just because you feel sore that you're at the same level as me when it came to the trials, it doesn't mean that I should let you go first because you're older." I muttered to him as his expression changed into a darker shade.

"Why you-" His voice growled.

"So instead of wasting time on who goes first, why don't we just go at the same time? Would that be alright, examiner?" The examiner just nodded and I looked up at Hanzo in expectance for his acceptance in this decision. He just huffed in exasperation before nodding in agreement. When we both took out a card at the same time, we glared at each other one last time before walking away. Then it was Illumi and then Suou.

"Wow... You guys got to the bottom pretty quickly." Gon said in admiration with Suou's cheeks change into a deep red color.

"My path wasn't too bad, compared to what I heard from you guys..." She whispered out to him. As we listened to the examiner's explanation about the hunter and prey game, I blanked out. All I needed to remember was that I just needed to keep my own plate and my target's for a total of 6 points and then I pass... Great... I then followed everyone to the boat. I noticed that Suou had somehow disappeared from what I was, so I decided to go look for her. When I found her, she was sitting with Gon. As I walked up to them, they motion for me to sit with them. Soon after, Killua joined us.

"Yo!" After he sat down next to Gon, he asked, "Which number did you pick?"

"What about you?" Gon wondered.

"Secret!" Killua answered.

We then laughed. "Don't worry! My target isn't number 405, 32, or 33." Killua responded quickly.

"Mine isn't number 99, 32, or 33." Gon replied.

"My target isn't any of yours." I confidently said.

"Me too." Suou answered.

"We count up to three and then we show our sheets?" Killua suggested.

"One... Two... Three!" All four of us showed our papers. Killua had number 199, while Gon had the number 44. I had the number 197, while Suou had number 198.

"Yuu-nii... Killua-san... We sure are close in number targets..." Suou said as we stared at our numbers. We then stared at Gon's number.

"Seriously? You're not very lucky at lottery..." Killua commented while Gon agreed with a nervous expression. However, his face expression changed into one of excitement.

"You're happy? Or you're afraid?" He wondered out loud on Gon's expression.

"Maybe both..." Gon admitted as he held his hands together. "If it was a classical confrontation, I could never envision winning but...since it's about stealing a sheet, there should be a way." He continued, "Even I have a little luck... But thinking of it doesn't really reassure me... I have a revenge to take."

"Ah... Well, we won't let the others worry us! Try to stay alive, Gon! Suou! Yuu!" Killua stood up as he waved goodbye. Suou and I also went our separate ways when we left Gon.

"You'll stay exactly one week on the island. That's the time you have to get the six points...and to come back here." The woman announced.

"Departure of the first candidate!" Hisoka strode along the forest before entering.

"Departure of the second candidates!" Hanzo and I entered with great speed. Hiding within the trees, I waited for the three brothers. One of them was my target. But I also kept in mind that someone was going to try and get my number, so I kept my senses up for any signs of danger. I also kept a close eye on every single candidate that entered the forest with no intention of letting them know of my location, except for the pressure of them knowing that someone in the forest was watching their every move. The only people that I didn't kept a close eye on was Hisoka, Hanzo, Illumi, and the gang. Once the brothers separated to find their targets, I began to follow the one with the white plain shirt. After a few hours or so, the brothers soon got together and began to follow Killua. Once the white shirt brother gained his confidence, he tried to kick Killua, but soon noticed that it did him no harm. They quickly went into position, but Killua ran up the tree that I was sitting in.

"Ah..." His eyes widened ever so slightly before shyly looking away from my eyes.

"Ah..." I managed to say.

"Yo!" He soon smiled and proceeded to jump down behind the black shirt brother before knocking him down on his knees. He then placed his sharpened claws of his hand near the throat before saying, "Don't move. My fingernails are sharper than the blade of a knife. Let me confess something: in such a situation, I have absolutely no intuition."

Killua looked at the bulkiest brother and asked, "You're number 199, aren't you?"

That brother grunted before replying, "I am..."

"Would you give me your tag then?" Killua grinned as the brother reluctantly threw him his tag.

"Thank you." He caught the tag with ease. "Hmm... You're number 197." He casually commented at the brother who could die at any moment. As he looked at the number 197 tag, he glanced up at me. "Since I don't need this one..."

Killua threw the tag up at the tree where I was. I caught it easily. "Thanks." I jumped down, revealing myself.

"Ah... No problem. Do you want the other one too?" He grabbed number 198 tag from the brother and threw it at me. I caught it and grinned. Maybe nothing was wrong between us and it was just me who thought that something was wrong. After all, he was acting normal right now.

"Thanks again, Killua." I focused my senses to find where Suou was located before spotting her near a huge tree. It was convenient. I hurriedly concentrated a part of my Nen into the tag before throwing it hard towards the bark of the tree that she was next to. When I saw it land into the tree perfectly and Suou grabbing the tag before putting it into her pocket, I turned off my Yochigan. I heard the brothers groaning with utter frustration. Without releasing my focus on my surroundings, I felt one brother rushing towards me with the intention of attacking me once Killua released the black shirt brother from captivity. Ducking as he threw a punch, I turned around and released a round house kick, which caused him to fly right into a tree.

"Well that was fun." I rolled my shoulders back and stretched as if I was doing a warm-up. "Don't mess with me. You guys are too weak to even try to beat me." The brothers were examining the passed out brother's injury. "Don't worry too much. He should be fine since I didn't break any of his bones. He'll probably get a huge bruise that might heal at around five days. Isn't that convenient." I laughed before yawning.

"Let's go, Yuu!" Killua motioned for me to follow him. We soon disappeared from the brothers' view. When we walked towards a huge tree, he climbed up with ease. I stared at the tree and gulped. It was so high. I wonder if he was expecting me to follow him. I highly doubted that I would be able to even try going up there without panicking about the height.

"What are you doing, Yuu?" He waited. "Unless you're scared..." Killua grinned towards me. "After all, Suou did tell me that you were afraid of heights. Deathly scared of them."

I growled menacingly towards him. "I AM NOT THAT SCARED OF HEIGHTS!" I quickly climbed the tree until I reached at his location. "SEE?!" I huffed before trembling at the notion of how high we were currently at. "Okay... I am scared." I managed to admit to him as I held onto the tree with my dear life. He laughed before turning serious.

"Why did you call out my name after the third exam?" He asked me. I wondered whether it was best to even tell him. After all, it seemed like I was just overreacting.

"Um... It's nothing." I decided that it was best to keep my embarrassing misunderstanding to myself.

"I can tell that it's not nothing, so tell me even if you think it's not something important to talk about." He intervened.

"The reason why I called out to you was because you keep looking away. I don't understand why you kept looking away from me when you could face Suou and Gon perfectly well in the eye. I don't remember doing anything to offend you... However, if it's because I used your shoulder as a pillow on the airship, then I will apologize. But then again, this could just be a weird misunderstanding and truthfully, I don't know why I even feel bothered about this..." I awaited his response nervously. Why do I even care so much about whether he hates me or not...? Why do I even want him to treat me like he does with the others? Why should I care?

"Yuu... You didn't do anything wrong. It's just that..." Killua looked at me in the eye with a serious facial expression. "After what happened on the airship, I didn't know how act around you... I never..." I knew what he meant by then. We never exposed such vulnerabilities around anyone to that extent.

"Well, if you just treated me the same as everyone else, then that's enough for me. I'm truthfully relieved to find someone like you. Someone who I can connect with on a deeper level. It makes life a bit more exciting, more brighter, and more relaxing. More safe." I answered him truthfully. His expression softened as his lips curled upwards in acceptance and in agreement. "Killua..."

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for telling me all of that... I know that it must have been very awkward for you..."

"It's nothing. I just... I'm glad that you told me the reason why you called out to me. Now that must have made you nervous and even embarrassed... So thanks." He comfortingly smiled shyly towards me as I felt my heart squeeze with relief. A calming silence took over between us as we watched the sunset from afar.

"Yuu." Killua called out to me.

"Yes?"

"Is your name really Yuu?"

"No. I just borrowed that name."

"Then can I know your real name?" I snapped awake at the mention of the words, real name. Now that I thought about it, I still couldn't remember my old name. The name that my birth parents gave me. That's kind of sad and pathetic of me. I sighed with shame and guilt. What kind of daughter was I?

Killua must have heard my soft sigh because he quickly said this, "It's okay if you don't want to tell me! I don't mind! After all... It's not like I'm the type of person someone would want to tell me anything like that..."

"What are you saying, Killua?" He must have misunderstood my sigh as something of annoyance or frustration. Although he couldn't see my complete face expression due to the mask, I still smiled at him gently with my lips and eyes. "You're a wonderful person. One of the best people I have met so far. So don't you dare degrade yourself in front of me... Also, I barely compliment people, so think of it as a big deal. Anyways, I was just thinking. About the past... Nothing to do with you. So don't worry."

"The past...?" He echoed. "Nothing...to do with me..." He knew that I was trying to make him feel better, but for some reason, when he heard that statement, nothing to do with him, he was slightly hurt for no reason at all.

"As you probably already know... I am a girl, just as you suspected, and don't even try to deny it because I can tell that is the other reason why you felt awkward with me. My real name is Kinra. It means the Rose of Sharon colored silk." I gazed at the serene sky that was accompanied by the bright moon.

"Hmm... Kinra... Kinra..." My name rolled off his tongue smoothly as he smiled to himself.

* * *

_Suou glanced at me before sighing. "Well it has to do with Yuu-nii. I know that Yuu-nii actually trusts you both and well... Although he told me not to tell anyone during the exam because he did not want to be treated like an inferior, I just... I want you both to know. Will you listen and not tell anyone about this?" Gon nodded and Killua paused before agreeing. "Promise?" She asked them once more. They nodded. "Okay. Well, Yuu-nii is actually...a girl. She's actually my sister."_

_"Really?" They both asked._

_"Yes. The reason why she disguised herself as a male is because she didn't want anyone to treat her as an inferior due to her gender..."_

_"Oh... Then what's her real name, assuming Yuu isn't her real name?" Killua inquired with curiosity._

_"I would tell you, but I will not, because it is her own right to do so." Suou replied as they both reluctantly agreed with her._

* * *

"Just so you know.. I don't view all females as weak in particular because so far in my life, I only met strong and scary females." He shivered at his old memories.

"You're not scared of me... right?" I asked him in amusement.

"No... I definitely don't, Kinra. Don't worry." He grinned. I soon yawned and shifted the colored glasses to rub my eyes. Killua then ruffled my hair from underneath the hood, which almost made it fall off. My eyes narrowed at him as I fixed my hood and hair.

"You seem to love saying my name, Killua... Since you keep repeating it..." I teased him as he slightly flushed with embarrassment.

"I'm just trying to remember your name... It is your real name, after all..." He looked away before retaining his look of amusement. He leaned against his hand that was on one of the branches.

"I guess... I do like it when you say my name though. It sounds...nice." I rested my head against the branch in front of me. I faced him with a bright smile. He looked a bit startled before recovering. I yawned again. Rubbing my eyes to stay awake, I sleepily gazed at the moon and then at Killua.

"Are you tired, Kinra?" He asked quietly. I nodded at his question. "Then let's go down the tree and hide in the tree trunk. We can rest there." I followed him silently as we entered the comfortable sized tree trunk area and sat down against the bark. The grass was somewhat soft and not the usual itchy that I was used to. "Use my shoulder as a pillow. Didn't you say that it was the best shoulder pillow in the world?" Killua teased me. My lips automatically curled upwards at his words.

"Heh. You're in over your head about having the best shoulder pillow but I guess for now, you are." I commented as my head gently leaned against his shoulder and neck. In seconds, sleep quickly took over me.

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**Please R&amp;R! I'll be happy to see more reviews, favorites, or story alerts. Whatever floats your boat~~ Not much Killua in the next chapter, but more will be revealed on Kinra's major flaws, her past in our world, and her thoughts on Alice, Yuu, and Grandpa. **

**Thank you for the review again, TsukinoX! :))**

**I'll update soon, so until then I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter!**

**EDIT1: This chapter is more of a releasing chapter as in that it has nothing heavy or thought-provoking in it. Everyone needs a break from the heaviness (at least that's what I believe), so this is the chapter for it. And maybe the next one as well. But if you guys have any questions about anything in regards to this story, then feel free to pm message me or review. I will be happy to answer any questions or clarifications that you need in order to understand this story. Stay healthy and keep warm during the winter! See you all soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**EDIT1: Hey everyone! I think I might not update (as in chapter 22) until I finish editing all the past chapters or else it will become inconsistent for the most part. So by the time I finish editing chapter 21, hopefully it will be June during that time, so that I can start updating chapter 22 and so forth. If not, then just think of the edits as the update for now. :)**** I have a feeling that I might not make it to June for the edits, but I'll try my best. I'm really sorry for the late updates. This past month and few weeks have been complete hell for me from concussion, health issues, classes, and stress from waiting for the decisions from the schools that I want to transfer to. All in all, it was a complete hurricane of uneasiness, anxiety, and confusion. I really did not want those negative feelings to affect my writing, which is why I did not update in a while. I might not even be able to update weekly because of these issues. In particular, my health has been deteriorating fast this past school year, which is why I feel more stressed than usual. Not to mention, I am still not completely healed from my concussion. Gah. I'm becoming negative again. Anyways, I decided to let out some of my stress through editing! Enjoy!**

**Hello everyone! I suppose this chapter will show more of Kinra's flaws and her thoughts on a lot of people. There isn't a lot of Killua in this one, but the next one will. Promise! :) Anyways, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

* * *

"Wake up, Kinra! It's almost time." I heard a low voice whisper in my ear. Shivering from the cold air and the reverberation of the voice, I lifted my head from the warmth and dazedly examined the area. When I turned my head towards the warmth, I watched the glassy blue colors and the fluffy white invade my view. It took me a few seconds before I realized what or who it was.

"Oh. Sorry, Killua." I yawned and stretched out my arms. "I guess we should go now." Killua nodded and turned his head away before grabbing my arm.

"Let's go." He murmured as we both ran at top speed before hiding in the bushes near the ship.

"IN A WHILE, THE FOURTH ROUND OF THE TRIALS WILL END. ALL THE PARTICIPANTS ARE INVITED TO COME BACK TO THE STARTING POINTS OF THE TEST. THE PARTICIPANTS MUST MAKE THEMSELVES KNOWN IN THE TIME OF ONE HOUR. AFTER THIS DELAY, THE ONES WHO HAVEN'T SHOWN THEMSELVES WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. PLEASE PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THIS INFORMATION. TAGS STOLEN FROM NOW ON WILL BE NOT BE COUNTED. VERIFICATIONS WILL BE MADE, AND PEOPLE WHO BREAK THIS RULE WILL BE DISQUALIFIED." A loud voice boomed across the land. I gently pulled Killua's arm sleeve. He turned towards me with a questioning look.

"What's wrong, Kinra?"

"Call me Yuu from now on." He smirked with his arms crossed as he raised his nose in a teasing and arrogant way.

"Hn. As if I would make an amateur mistake like that. Who do you think I am?" I laughed in response before pulling him towards the clearing with our numbered papers. From afar, Suou spotted us and hurriedly approached us.

"Yuu-nii! Thanks for sending me the number plate..." She gave me a look of appreciation. Realizing that I, despite being with Killua for this part of the exam, missed her presence, I ended up embracing her tightly and ruffled her hair with pouring affection.

"You're very welcome! But make sure to thank Killua since he was the one who got them for us." I motioned her to speak to him while she mumbled with annoyance as she fixed her hair. In seconds, her mood changed to that of gratefulness.

"Thank you, Killua-san!" She smiled brightly towards him.

He paused and nodded in acceptance, while smiling sheepishly towards her. "Call me Killua. Killua-san sounds kind of stuffy."

"Okay! Then... Thank you, Killua!" Suou immediately grinned in response. As we waited for everyone to arrive, I found eleven participants in total, including us. I let out a relieved sigh when I spotted Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika walk towards us. Once we entered the airship, I leaned against the wall, awaiting the announcement.

"IN A WHILE, THE PRESIDENT WILL RECEIVE YOU FOR A CONVERSATION. WHEN YOU'RE CALLED, PLEASE COME TO THE FIRST RECEPTION ROOM OF THE FIRST FLOOR. CANDIDATE NUMBER FORTY FOUR. WE ASK THAT YOU PLEASE COME TO THE RECEPTION ROOM." At those words, I shuffled my feet and nervously waited for my turn. Killua sat down against the wall, next to me, with his eyes closed, while Suou walked out with Gon and Kurapika. Leorio dashed off once they all discussed about what exactly we were being called for. The moment I heard my number, I opened my eyes reluctantly and drowsily walked into the room. With respect towards the chairman, I took off my hood and glasses as I sat down properly in front of him.

"Why do you want to become a hunter?" Netero-san asked.

"To have a chance." I whispered.

"A chance?"

"Yes. A chance to finally live." To live without being underestimated. To live properly as a human being. To finally see the light in this life. To succeed in the task that I was given. To save those worth living. There were so many meanings attached to the words that I spoke.

_That pain. That life. Why did I believe it? Becoming a hunter... It was my worst mistake. My biggest regret. If I had never met them... If I had never passed... If I had just died... Then maybe... Just maybe, I would not have to go through what I had to go through._

_**Are you weakening? You're starting to fall, Kinra. At this rate, you'll disappear.**_

_Wouldn't that be better? For you? For everyone? _

_**Then prepare yourself. For your end. For your life.**_

_But I can't. I promised myself. I promised that I will do everything. Everything that I can to go back. To go back to him. So I have to win. I have to win this game. This game of balance._

_**Then give it your best shot. As the pain grows within you and as the loneliness surrounds you, those feelings will eventually shrivel up into nothing. To live? To see the light? What foolishness. You were foolish then and you are still foolish now. When will you ever learn?**_

_I will win. I must win. No one, not even you, can stop me from going forward. As long as I believe in myself, I can take a step towards this goal. It is not impossible. It is not foolishness. It is just the act of believing._

"Can you elaborate on what you just said?" He looked at me with pure curiosity.

"Unfortunately, those words that I just said hold too many meanings to the point that it would take too long for me to explain it all to you. However, part of it has to do with hidden clan village secrets that I cannot expose to even one person, so I wish for your understanding in my reluctance to explain further."

"Understandable. Then among the ten other candidates, which one retains the most of your attention?" He scribbled on his notepad furiously.

"...Number 32... However, numbers 405, 99, 403, and 404 also retain the most of my attention..." I tried hard to remember everyone's numbers as I listed them off to him.

"Among the ten other participants, who do you want to fight against the least?" Netero-san continued to write without pausing.

"Choosing only one person would be difficult... I suppose it would have to be number 32 but I also wouldn't want to fight against numbers 405, 99, 403, and 404..." I answered confidently. Once we were finished, I put my hood and glasses back on before leaving the room and heading towards where everyone else was located.

"NOTE FOR THE CANDIDATES! THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE! WE'LL ARRIVE IN A WHILE AT THE PLACE WHERE THE LAST ROUND STANDS!" The announcement boomed from the speakers. I silently sat next to Killua and waited for our arrival.

* * *

As we entered the large hotel room, Netero-san announced the last trial. "The last trial will be in the form of duels of one versus one." He walked over to the covered board and pulled the cloth off.

"The groups are the following..." Everyone stared at the board. I shuffled my feet and stared down at the floor with disinterest. I felt a sense of drowsiness and waited for the speech to end, so that Hanzo and Gon could start their fight.

"Good... And now the rules in this last round. It's very simple One victory and you pass the exam. In other words, in this tournament, winners quit the game one by one. If you kill your adversary, you'll be disqualified! So, if that ever happens, the only disqualified candidate will be designated and the exam will end. On that, let's begin the final round! First match..." It was then when I wondered where I was placed in the pyramid of fights. Suou tugged at my sleeve.

"Kinra-nee? You're up."

"Eh?" I hurriedly stared at the board for confirmation. Indeed, it said my name. I checked the person who I was up against. Never heard or seen that name before. I guess it was someone who never appeared in the manga or anime. So the one who loses will go against Suou... Interesting. I finally walked to the front, across from my opponent.

"Oi, Yuu! Wasn't your name Yuu? Why is your name Kinra? And why did Suou just call you Kinra-nee, instead of Kinra-nii, if you're a guy?" Leorio called out to me in confusion.

"Well, Yuu was just...a cover-up name. My name is actually Kinra. And I'm actually a girl." I murmured and sheepishly fidgeted from where I stood. At that, the judge announced for us to begin. I watched the young man in front of me carefully as he quickly threw a couple of needles in my direction. I took a step to the side to avoid them before whipping out a small dagger that I carried around. When he continued to throw the needles in my direction, I deflected each one with ease. However, I soon felt a scratch in my mask when he threw several towards my face. I thought I deflected them all, but was one thrown at careful speed and timing so that I would not notice it? I cursed my stupidity before dodging his attacks, instead of deflecting them. What to do... What to do... How should I make him give up... I put away my dagger as I examined my opponent. First, let's catch him off-guard. He looks too much at ease right now. Activating Yochigan, I directed some of my Nen to my feet and dashed forward. In seconds, I stood in front of him as he froze with shock. Taking this chance, my fingers jabbed into one of his pressure points, which caused my Nen to flow into his own system with severe aggressiveness. Because of his reflex in protecting his own pressure points, he kicked me away in desperation. I grunted at the sudden attack and watched the young man's eyes underestimate me once more. He must think that I did nothing to him. How useful. I continued to use the same tactics, but he began to defend himself by scratching or stabbing me with his needles. Soon, we both were out of breath. When I walked towards him with one last attempt to hit him successfully, I fell to the right without realizing.

"Wha-" I tried to stand up but I fell to the ground once more. What is going on? I feel sick. Argh. Would it be okay to puke right now? I then muttered colorful words to myself when I realized what had occurred. I had underestimated this man. He obviously put something in his needles that was making me feel like absolute shit right now. As he spoke some words that I was not listening to, I concentrated in making myself not puke.

"It seems like you realized what happened. I have indeed drenched my needles with my special concoction that has the ability to disrupt someone else's sense of balance. However, you need not to worry too much about it as they are not permanent. However, it will be indeed unpleasant for you for awhile. You might as well give up instead of forcing yourself to suffer more!" He chuckled to himself as if congratulating himself for winning. I snorted before using my last strength to stand up properly without falling down.

"I wonder if you noticed. That you're not even going to be awake for the next few hours if you don't give up right now. One more attack and you'll be out for a whole day." I smirked as I watched him suddenly groan in pain on the ground. "So do you give up? If you give up now, I can stop that pain from getting any bigger."

He huffed in frustration as he began to squirm in an attempt to control the pain. "What did you do to me?!"

"Essentially, I put several spiky balls in your body, which are poking at your organs, so I suggest you to stop moving or else you'll be making the pain worse." I explained to him in the most simple form ever. "If you want me to remove those balls in your body, I suggest you to give up now." He screamed, unable to bear it any longer.

"I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP! HELP ME! HELP ME ALREADY!" I hurriedly walked over and clumsily fell on top of him. Using Yochigan, I carefully controlled my Nen that was in his body to act as a type of antibody for the attack that I caused within him before using his own Nen to heal the inner injuries I caused while using my own Nen as a guidance. Once that was over, he passed out from the immense shooting pain, while I finally slipped down to the ground with a major migraine and a feeling of nausea. Who knew that the Jyuuken that I created took so much energy and Nen out of me... It was too tiring for me. If I had paid more attention to this severe Nen loss problem before, then this might not have happened...

"Winner: Kinra!" The judge announced. I blacked out with my last thoughts pertaining to Suou on how she won by default because the guy that I fought against is unable to fight. B But right before I fell completely unconscious, I heard the haunting voice of the grinning clown in the row of people as he whispered, "You should fix your style of fighting if you don't want to die early... After all, the fruit must grow to its fullest potential."

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, it was a hurricane of pain, nausea, dryness, dizziness, and confusion.

"How are you feeling?" A voice spoke out to me.

"My stomach hurts. Throat feels dry. My arms and legs feel wobbly." I answered. "Oh, can you give me some water while you're at it?"

"Hmm... That's normal. Here's your water." The doctor handed me a cup as I drank it greedily.

"You're going to have a bruise on your stomach. Your arms and legs will feel normal after a few days. Apparently, it is just a minor side effect of the concoction. For now, you should relax. Your sister will be arriving soon to help you move around. Oh and you might puke for a few hours, so be prepared for that." He placed his papers in the box and left the room with ease.

As soon as he was gone, I focused on my surroundings. When I concentrated hard enough, I heard Satotsu talking to Gon about the rest of the final rounds. I was just in time to hear about the fights when I realized that everything was the same as the manga and anime. Deciding that it was not worth my time to try to make myself feel sick by listening, I closed my eyes to rest a bit more. Immediately, the door flung open.

"Onee-chan! I'm here!" A cheerful voice called out to me. It was Suou at her finest. "Ahh! Gon! Satotsu-san!" She sounded embarrassed for her loud behavior. When she started to explain her actions by talking about how she thought this was the room where I was located, I felt like snorting at her panicked actions. She was hilarious even when she does not try to be.

"I'm over here, Suou." I croaked out. I almost winced at my scratchy voice. It seriously sounded like a dying cat. I really needed more water. She walked over and tried to place me on a wheelchair properly. Satotsu quickly helped and got me on that wheelchair.

"Thank you very much for your help." Suou replied as Satotsu nodded in acknowledgement.

"It is no problem. You three should hurry to the Orientation." He commented before walking out of the room. I tugged at Suou's sleeve.

"What's wrong, Onee-chan?"

"I don't think I'm well enough to go right now. Can you just tell me about everything later?" I asked her tiredly. She nodded before leaving with Gon. As soon as I left the stuffy room, I found the open window at the front.

"What a nice day..." I pulled myself close to the window sill and laid my head on it to see the view. The wind gently blew against my hair. I laughed silently to myself when I realized that none of my hair was poking at my eyes or stuffing in my mouth. How relaxing it was to feel the warm sunlight, the refreshing breeze, and be under the bright blue sky. It was then my thoughts turned in another direction. Although I used my own type of Jyuuken in battle for the first time, I'm surprised about how difficult it was for me to use... It took a lot of Nen out of me more than I expected. I guess it really is not practical for me to use in battle. Perhaps, I should think of a different way to battle instead.

_"You should fix your style of fighting if you don't want to die early... After all, the fruit must grow to its fullest potential"_

Hisoka's words continuously echoed in my mind. Despite being a creepy badass damn clown, he had a point. I cannot afford to die because of my stupidity and pride. Speaking of Hisoka, I remembered that in the battle between him and Kastro, Kastro used the categories that were not of his strengths, which is why he died in the first place. Perhaps Jyuuken and Yochigan are not how I am supposed to utilize my Nen. Even pressure points... They limit me on how long I can actually battle and how much Nen I could use during that said battle. I need to rethink my abilities. Maybe I should focus on what Yochigan can see in depth. Just because it sees Nen, it does not mean that it is for Nen. After all, Yochigan is just a super advanced version of 'Gyo' with additional features. I groaned at how much I was thinking about this. When you're a specialist, finding out what ability you have with your Nen is such a pain in the ass. In fanfiction, whatever power the main characters want gets it. I guess it's not the same with me. It's not like I'm in a fanfiction anyways. This absolutely sucked. If only Alice-nee or Yuu-nii were able to help me more.. No point in thinking about the past. Despite my failing in discovering what my Hatsu was supposed to be, I might as well should make up for it by slowly discovering what it is now.

I stared at the sky once more. It really did remind me a lot of Killua. The clear light blue sky that spread freely around this world were reminiscent of Killua's bright blue eyes that wanted to break free from the suffocating chains. The puffy fluffy white clouds that roamed around were just like his soft silver white hair.

"Killua..." I murmured his name to myself.

Our first "meeting" was through my computer when I was watching HunterxHunter for the first time. I really did not know what to expect but the moment I saw him, I knew that this series was going to be worth it. Before, I believed watching HunterxHunter was one of the last options that I would take because of the summary that did not give the series justice. That was why I believed it would be a waste of time to watch and a silly mistake, but what a great mistake that turned out to be. It became one of the best series I had watched in a long time with all the characters growing on me in some way or form, especially Killua.

Killua. The heir to the Zoldyck family's assassination business. The one who will end up being Gon's best friend. The boy who wants to change. The boy... The boy who became important to me during the exams.

I knew that we would get him back eventually, but the fact that he was gone right now felt heartbreaking for some reason. I firmly placed my hands on the window edge and used all of my strength in my arms to stand up straight. "Move... MOVE!" I frustratingly whispered until I stood up, but that lasted for only a second. I lost all strength in my legs. Falling to the floor, something slid out from my pocket and onto the floor. A familiar tune occupied the hall. I looked up tiredly to see the open golden pocket watch shining from the light.

"The watch..." I crawled with my chin and attempted to reach out for it. Yuu... I have to keep it safe. I have to become stronger. I have to...

_When I saw the entrance from afar, I noticed Alice talking to another person. This young villager had the most dark hair out of all the people I have seen thus far in this world. It glowed a warm burgundy color in the sunlight as the layers in his hair created a soft ruffle overall look to him. When he turned to face me, I watched his eyes radiating a touch of glimmering forest green shade. Soon, the corners of his lips turned upwards, revealing his pearly white teeth._

That was Yuu. That was who Yuu was. I closed my eyes as my fingers touched the cold watch. Alice... Gramps... They were the ones who taught me about this world and gave me the skills to survive. I don't know how I would have handled anything if I never met them. They were my teachers. Alice had long straight ruby red hair with spring green colored eyes. She rarely smiled but when she did, she would cover it with one hand. It was mostly her eyes that expressed her emotions anyways. I supposed that was what I liked about her. Gramps. If I were to describe him, he looked similar to Netero-san, except he always carried a serious face expression. His eyebrows would be tight but when it loosened, that would mean that he was relaxed or happy. With his lazy attitude that contrasted with his appearance, it was hard to hate him. I wondered if they were all safe... Safe from him...

"Onee-chan! What are you doing on the floor?! Leorio-san! Please help me out!" I opened my eyes and continued to reach out for the watch, ignoring them. Leorio and Suou quickly picked me up from the floor and placed me on the wheelchair. Meanwhile, Gon picked up the pocket watch and handed it to me with a smile. "Here you go."

"Thanks, Gon." I glanced at it one more time before placing it back in my pocket. "So what's going on?"

"We booked tickets to go to Republica of Padokia by airship! It leaves today so let's go!" Suou excitedly explained everything to me, while Kurapika pushed my wheelchair as they ran. When we finally entered the airship, Leorio, Kurapika, and Suou went to go buy some food. Gon and I sat in silence as we were deep in our thoughts. Of course, that was interrupted when Leorio and Suou stuffed the food in our mouth to catch our attention. And what do you know! McDonald's existed in this world too! That fast food place is going to become famous dimension-wide one day. I just know it. Although I think Leorio called it Monald's or something... But I was 100% convinced that it was based off of McDonald's. After the airship ride, we bought first-class train tickets to Kukuru Mountain. The soft and squishy seats were much better than the stiff wheelchair. I sank into it with complete satisfaction. However, that unfortunately lasted only for a few hours as Kukuru Mountain came to view, which Leorio pointed out to us. When we entered the town and asked a middle aged lady about Kukuru Mountain, she told us about the regular tour bus. Tired of the entire journey, the moment we got into the bus, I informed the group to wake me up when we got there. When I woke up, I was in my wheelchair again. Not to mention, it was dark outside. I thought I told them to wake me up when we got here, not leave me in front of the "Door of Verification." Damn them all... I closed my eyes again with frustration. When I heard Gon yelling at the telephone, I knew that meant he was going to try climbing the door. As my wheelchair moved, we stopped momentarily. I waited until I heard a new voice talk to Gon.

"Gon... Do you understand?" It must be the guard person talking to him. That meant Mike was in front of us. I cautiously opened my eyes to find myself staring into the empty eyes of the dog. It was not completely empty but it was filled with greed for prey. Prey, which meant humans. My throat felt dry when I swallowed nothing. I pulled away my gaze when someone began to push my wheelchair forward.

"My house is close to here. You can rest here for tonight." The guard informed us as he led us to the door. Another man walked up to us. "Oh? Guests? That's not frequent. If Zebulo likes you, you surely aren't ordinary people... Make yourself at home. This house isn't a palace, but..." He then walked away. I forgot that man's name. Oh well. At least I now know the guard's name. Zebulo. Interesting name.

"Try to open this door. It's a door you have to push to enter." Zebulo motioned for us to try. Gon went up first when he realized how heavy it was.

"It's..." He pointed at the door as Zebulo replied. "Yes. Each side of the door is 200 kg. Because you have to be in shape...try to enter." Leorio finally stepped up and used all of his strength to open it. Gon and Kurapika hurriedly entered, but before Suou and I had the chance to go in, Leorio ended up letting go.

"Sorry, you two... It's too heavy." He apologized as Suou shook her head in response.

"It's okay. We can deal with it." She informed him and turned towards me. "Onee-chan! Can you wheel yourself?"

"Yeah. No problem." I answered. She stepped up with great determination. Expecting it to be heavy, she pushed with a lot of strength. In the end, Suou almost broke down the door. I wheeled myself in when Leorio complained to Suou about how she could have just opened the door in the first place for everyone as she laughed. I watched everyone struggled with the slippers. I guess those were heavy too. If I remember correctly, Zebulo said that each one was 20 kg. When we drank the tea from the 20 kg cup, Zebulo offered to train us for around a month to help us open the door together. We looked at each other for a moment before realizing how we all had the same answer to his offer.

"We accept!" All of us answered with newly found vigor. With a smile, he handed us weight vests.

"Wear this all the time, except while sleeping. We'll begin with 50 kg. As you get used to it, I'll increase the weight." Zebulo then pat Leorio's arm as he said, "You, you're well built... In less than a month, you'll be opening the door alone." And just as he said, after just two weeks, Leorio successfully opened the first door by himself, and within that time, Gon had recovered in just ten days from his broken arm. Not only that, I also managed to recover from the concoction. I also made sure to get rid of the wheelchair completely. That thing was just a horror story.

"I want to test my strength too." Kurapika walked up with Gon when they both successfully opened the first door together.

"My turn!" Suou skipped towards the door.

"Are you sure you don't want any help?" Leorio asked as she shook her head.

"I'm pretty sure I can get at least two to three doors. You could say that I was on weights since birth." She proudly breathed in and out before using all of her strength to push against the doors. I nodded with satisfaction when she managed to push three doors, even though she barely pushed the fourth one. I also walked up and pushed the doors by myself. Satisfactorily, I almost pushed the fourth door. I smiled to myself in pure happiness.

"You both could have opened the doors for us!" Leorio accused us as we both smiled sheepishly at them.

"At least you guys are stronger now... Good training?" I laughed when he glared at me.

After almost another week, Leorio was able to push the second door open, while Kurapika and Gon pushed the first door open individually. Suou and I were able to open the fourth door successfully. I lowered my hood when I gazed at the house that we lived in for weeks. Sighing, I turned around with the others and walked on as we finally left for the Zoldyck mansion.

* * *

**Please R&amp;R! I'll be happy to see more reviews, favorites, or story alerts. Whatever floats your boat~~ :3**

**To the Guest who reviewed chapter 2 of 'Balance': Thank you for informing me about how there was too much Naruto in it. I made sure to put up a warning in the first chapter's author note about it, so that those who do not like Naruto or do not care about it will be warned beforehand and can skim through the chapters that have a lot of Naruto references, which is mostly just the beginning of the story (chapters 1-3), and just continue to read the other chapters instead. :) **

**Anyways, besides that, I'll update soon, so until then I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**EDIT1: Hey! So I can finally read and see things without having any imbalance issues, which is why I decided to edit this chapter today! I'm really pumped up for this story! I really can't wait until I finish editing all the chapters because I have so many things planned for this story! I won't promise anything because I know that my health is unpredictable, but I can tell you that I'll do my best to edit and write this entire story for this summer break. I love all of you guys and I really appreciate the time you guys take to read my story and to even favorite or follow my story.**

**Hello everyone! This chapter shows Killua again and Kinra's fear, along with some Killua x Kinra (Gonna call them KiKi couple now. Easier to write. Ahaha) moments. Anyways, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

* * *

I trudged through the path with everyone else. From a distance, a young girl stood tall with her hair in several braids and her crisp suit in perfect form. As we approached closer to her, the firm frown on her face deepened. The girl's grey eyes flickered towards us.

"Leave." Her voice did not show any signs of hesitation as she continued, "You are on private property. It cannot be changed. You are not allowed to be here."

I watched Gon's eyes narrow at her words before he answered, "We called. We even passed through the door of verification!"

The girl's face shifted into one of cold emptiness. "That doesn't mean they allowed you to enter onto the domain."

His eye twitched and his hands curled into a tight fist. He growled with utter frustration, "In that case, how can we get an authorization? We said we were friends, but despite this, we weren't given the okay!" She merely waved off his words as if nothing can get past her.

"So what? That's simply because there have never been any previous authorizations." A bored look clouded her expression.

In response, Gon pouted with annoyance. "So all we could do was enter without permission..."

Suddenly, her eyes flickered in concentration. "Yes that's true. Whatever. I will tolerate you as far as here." She used the staff in her hands to create an apparent line in front of her as if from habit and from repetitive experience. "But if you take another step, I'll use all my strength to kill you."

This was a challenge. A challenge issued to Gon. Knowing him, he was obviously going to accept this challenge and fight. And so he did just that. He casually walked over as if mocking her. She followed his every move and the closer he was, the tighter her grip on her staff was. When his foot was about to touch the line, the girl finally swiftly slammed her staff across his face, causing him to fly across the road.

"GON!" I heard worried voices call out from behind me as I watched Gon determinedly stand up. Suou was about to release her staff when I stopped her.

A shuffling noise from Suou indicated that she was about to release her own staff to help him. "Suou. Don't." My strong voice stopped any movements from her. She reluctantly backed down in realization that this was Gon's challenge that he must complete by himself. Therefore, if she were to help, that would be a mere show of distrust and disrespect towards him. Without realizing this, Leorio took out his switchblade in retaliation of the girl's attack on Gon, while Kurapika revealed his twin wooden swords to prepare to fight.

"LEORIO! KURAPIKA! Don't interfere! Let me fight!" The determination was apparent in Gon's voice when he wiped away the blood from his nose. "Pff.. We don't have any intention of fighting against you. We just want to see Killua."

The mask she kept on. The mask of boredom never slipped away from her face. Her eyes continued to be utterly focused on him. "Whatever the reason, I only obey the masters."

Grunting from her answer, he walked over to her over and over again in order to go past the line, despite flying across the road because of her attack. I watched as her eyes flickered with unexplainable emotions before she tried to hide it with her mask. However, the more he tried, the more her mask began to crack. It became clear that her mask was now disintegrating completely when his extremely bruised face bled with resolve literally and figuratively.

Her once strong voice quivered and her once emotionless eyes flickered with disbelief. "Well... Stop it..." Her foot unconsciously moved back before pausing. "Don't approach anymore!" Cold sweat dripped down. Her grip on her staff tightened before slamming at him with it once more. She shivered with emotions that could not be explained. Overwhelming emotions that swept over her like a tsunami. Unrelenting. Harsh. Panic. Horror. And fear. It surrounded her and pulled her in with no hesitation. Blown away by the simple act of him getting back up and walking over to her once more, the girl could no longer ignore him. This boy, who called himself a friend of Killua-sama. This boy, who did not hesitate to move forward. He was her fear. Her hesitation. For she might be the apprentice butler of the Zoldyck Family, she was also Kanaria. The girl who wished for the happiness of Killua-sama, who wanted to befriend her when she first arrived. No longer able to control herself, she turned towards us. "BE REASONABLE! YOU KNOW THIS WILL LEAD TO NOTHING! AND YOU?! STOP HIM! HE'S YOUR FRIEND!"

"Why..." Gon walked forward once more. "We only came to see our friend... We only came to see Killua... So why?!" His fist tightened as his voice grew louder at each word. "WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO ALL THIS?!" He screamed when he moved in to throw a punch. Her grey eyes widened.

Immediately, he stopped his fist when he came to a realization. Kanaria flinched from his sudden cease of movement. "My foot crossed the line... You don't hit me?" He asked as if unsure of the situation. She twitched in response, realizing that she did not follow through with her word to not allow them to cross the line. Regaining her focus, she began to lift her staff to hit him away again but Gon stopped her with his words before she could make another move.

"You're not like Mike. You can do whatever you want to hide your feelings...You still have a heart. When I pronounced the name of Killua...For a fraction of a second, your eyes gave an impression of gentleness."

A deafening silence overcame her. As if caused by his words, current to past memories rolled over her like water. From Killua's dead eyes when he came back from his short journey to his silent disappointment when she declined his offer to be his friend. Regret and guilt swept over her in consecutive waves. She watched him. And she finally knew why she had called him her fear and her hesitation. He was everything she wanted to be. Everything she wanted to do. A flicker of hope appeared in the form of this boy in front of her. And so, with a pang of relief, unwanted and unshed tears finally appeared as the answer to his words. Her voice cracked as her mask did before. "Please... Save Killua-san!"

Before she could elaborate on her words, a swift projectile slammed against the side of her head, which ultimately rendered her unconscious as she bled from her wound on the ground. My mind blanked at this sudden change in situation. I twitched before walking over to her. When I checked to see her condition, I found with much relief that she was still alive. Taking out a handkerchief from my pocket, I attempted to stop the bleeding as much as possible before glancing over to the source of the attack. A woman who dressed too fancily for this day and age. A woman who was covered by bandages and an electronic visor. This was Killua's mother. Next to her, there was a short young male. His features were delicate, which was further enhanced by his choice in fashion. A kimono. I watched his pink eyes flicker between curiosity, annoyance, and cold emptiness as he examined us from afar. This was the youngest son of the Zoldyck Family. No longer interested in the two, I went back to finishing my first aid to Kanaria.

* * *

It was cold. The room that he was in. Nothing was there. Nothing was to be seen. The chains that held him in place were cold. All he wanted was to be free. To be with his friends. The friends that he made. But no one called out to him. Nothing could reach into the darkness that drowned him. So he waited. He waited to be awakened. And so he slept. He slept until he was free. Free enough to feel alive. But the dull aching that surrounded him did nothing to indicate that he was alive. Alive in this world as a free person with his own will. Killua hung from the chains as the blood from his wounds dried and hardened. Soon, an obvious display of anger entered the room. The empty room that was cold.

"WAKE UP!" Milluki lashed at him with his whip. The old dull ache tickled him where his brother had hit him. He merely wanted to continue sleeping, but the feeling of wanting to scratch and ease away the itch grew, so he finally opened his eyes after nodding sleepily towards his older brother.

Killua blinked with a mischievous blankness in his eyes. "Ah! Milluki! Hello. What time is it?"

With a grunt, Milluki placed his burning cigar on his wounded skin before answering, "Don't make fun of me, Killua."

Another tickling sensation on his skin. This time, it was from that stupid cigar. "Oh! It's hot! It's hot! You know, I damned thought about it! I'm sorry!" His desire to ease away the itch increased once more. Oh, how he really wanted to scratch it away. Killua stared at his brother.

"LIES!" Milluki lashed at him again.

Tired of his older brother's stupidity that provided dull entertainment, Killua spat out some blood to satisfy Milluki's sadistic streak before smiling inwardly. "It's that visible?"

At that moment, his brother's phone obnoxiously rang in the room. "Yes? Ah, Mama... Hmm... Yes... Okay!" Milluki's smile, which was never a good sign, widened after every second of the phone call. It made Killua slightly curious about what they were talking about. Once he hung up, Milluki's smile continued to widen. "Killua... It seems your friends got as far as the attendants' room." At his words, he felt something seize at his heart. His friends. It echoed in his mind like a mocking laughter. Dread and excitement flowed through the course of his blood when he just stared at his older brother with an empty expression.

"Hehehehe...! So, what are we going to do? If I ask Mama, she'll give an order to the attendants, and... All five... Especially the two females..." Killua inwardly twitched in annoyance. "I heard one of them is quite pretty and is around your age!" At this, his light blue eyes darkened considerably. "Along with the other boy... What was his name? Ah yes... Gon! Shall we start with those two? Or maybe I should just go for the girl first!" Milluki licked his lips in anticipation as if imagining what he would do to each and every one of them.

That was the last straw. The desire to seriously eradicate the itch overrode his senses as he snapped the chain easily as if it was a piece of thin string. Milluki yelped out in surprise before freezing in place. Killua's sharp glare coldly bored into his brother's head as if concentrating on where to slowly and painfully torture his older brother who dared to threaten to kill his friends in front of him. His voice rumbled in an octave lower. "Milluki... If you touch one of them...ESPECIALLY Kinra and Gon... I will kill you." He watched him like a predator as cold sweat covered his older brother's skin.

It was cold. The room that he was in. Nothing was there. Nothing was to be seen. But the chains that held him in place were no longer cold. It was hot. Boiling hot. And so utterly weak. All he needed to do was simply walk away. And after that, he was free. Free to be with his friends. The friends that he made. The news of his friends called out of him. It told him that they were all waiting to be with him again. And that he no longer needed to hesitate to reach out for them. The darkness was no longer there to drown him. It was only there to push him towards the place. The place where they waited for him. And so he felt free. Free enough to feel alive. And the dull aching that surrounded him. The itch on his skin merely indicated that he was almost there. Almost there to become the person with his own will. The person who was alive in this world. He no longer hung from the chains and his wounds would only disappear in time, but nothing could express his wish. His happiness. His desire to be amongst the people he called, his friends. To Killua, the room was no longer empty and cold.

* * *

After I managed to cover Kanaria's wound with my handkerchief, Killua's mother introduced her son, Kalluto, to us. Immediately, she screeched for an unknown reason, while muttering to herself angrily and left us with her son following after her. I began wiping away at the drying blood off of her skin when she finally woke up. She cringed at the pain and silently thanked me for aiding at her wound. I nodded in response before helping her balance herself as she stood. Afterwards, she motioned us to follow her. In silence, I observed our surroundings of the dark forest. It was eerily quiet with no sounds of wildlife. I quickly walked align with everyone else when we stood in front of the attendant's house. Five butlers were standing at the entrance and bowed towards us. "Good evening."

We awkwardly followed after the five butlers into the living room, where one of them fixed up Gon's face and Kanaria's injury. The other butler poured us some tea. "Please forgive us for the incident a short while ago. Madam contacted us...and asked us to welcome you as official guests. Make yourself at home." The butler in front of us, Goto, spoke to us. He then took out a coin. "Let us play a game as we wait for Killua-sama's arrival." I watched him flip the coin in the air before catching it. "Guess which hand the coin is in." Once we guessed correctly, he would increase the speed until he decided to speak to us again. "Before Killua-san comes, we'll finish it. I'm going to judge my own way." The butlers suddenly held out long knives towards us. "If you're mistaken once, she's killed. If you are eliminated one by one before Killua-san comes..." One held the knife against Kanaria's neck. "We'll just tell Killua-san that you left. And you will NEVER see him again." We shivered at his threat when we had no choice but to play his game. One by one, Kurapika, Leorio, Suou, and I were eliminated with only Gon remaining. It was the final round.

"The person behind me has the coin!" Gon announced happily when they all began to clap at his success.

"Magnificent! The bad joke lasted too long. Please forgive me...But... Didn't we manage to have a great time?" Goto smiled kindly. I twitched at his words. He was obviously being serious about it too.

"What?! Already? You don't say! What a heart pounding game..." Leorio wiped the sweat from his forehead when he checked his watch.

"Gon!" Killua's voice yelled out as Gon answered back with, "Killua!" The door quickly opened, revealing a beaten up Killua.

"Gon! Kinra! Suou! Plus Rioleo! Kurapika!" Killua smiled brightly before giving Gon a high five.

"Plus?" Kurapika asked while Leorio corrected him on his name.

"Long time no see! You managed to get here, but you should see your face!" Killua laughed at Gon's bandaged face when he retorted with, "Yours isn't so great either!"

"Suou! You're as small as ever!" Killua pat her head with affection before laughing at her own words.

"Killua-san! I mean Killua! I'm not small! I'm still growing so I can be as tall as Gon and you!" She glared and pouted at him.

He then hesitantly faced me with an awkward and sheepish smile. "Kinra." He murmured while walking towards me. I took off my glasses and pulled down my mask before giving him a tight hug. At first, he was stiff from my sudden embrace, but soon, he began to relax under my touch.

I loosened my hold on him with worry. "Uncomfortable?" I whispered out to him. After all, he does have injuries. He shook his head and I closed my eyes.

"Thank you..." For being here. "I..." I really missed you. There were so many words I wanted to whisper to him as I tightened my grip on his shirt. I decided to settle with, "Killua, welcome back." I smiled when I pulled away. His cheeks were stained with coral pink when he nodded and whispered, "I'm back." There was a comfortable silence in the room as we locked eyes with each other. Our smiles widened at every second until I pulled him into a headlock. It was another one of our games. He grunted before pushing me down to keep me into a headlock instead. I laughed when I tried to show that I relented and that he won the game this time.

Killua laughed with me as he proclaimed, "Heh! The best shoulder pillow in the world is back! Were you watching the clouds again, Kinra? Or were you sleeping on the way over here?" He then sat on my back with his arm still around my neck, while I slammed the hand furthest from him against the ground continuously to show my acceptance of my loss.

I grunted and grinned when he grabbed my free hand in case I was pretending that he won. "Arrogant little... You might be the current best for shoulder pillow but that can change!" I frowned when I admitted my worry to him with no care for our audience. "I did blank out a few times because of my previous condition but I was also worried about you. I was actually thinking about you instead of going cloud gazing..." I squeezed his hand to prove my point. It only made the coral pink in his cheeks to deepen in color. "And you should know... Cloud gazing is serious work." I smirked at him in which he stared at me before grinning at my reference.

"Yeah it is... It's SERIOUS work." He rolled his eyes before turning his head away from me and smiling softly to himself.

Leorio turned to Kurapika. "I can't tell if they are joking around with each other or if they are actually serious." He shrugged at his words. "Do they even realize that a whole bunch of people are here and can see and hear everything they do and say?" Leorio sighed as he crossed his arms and watched us.

Killua, who obviously heard Leorio's words, turned red before yelling out to the rest. "So we should leave, okay? Wherever! But let's just hurry up and go! Because here, my mother can't release me!"

"Killua..." I tiredly whispered out to him.

"Yeah?" He seemed nervous for an unknown reason.

I paused and then squeezed his hand again. "You're heavy... and your arm..." I murmured. Everyone snickered when he himself finally realized that he was still sitting on my back, had his arm wrapped around my neck, and was holding my hand.

"My bad!" He sheepishly jumped off of me, while using the hand that was already holding mine to pull me up from my aching position. "Are you okay?" He frowned when he saw me stretch out and massage my back and shoulders with my free hand.

"No worries. Thanks for helping me up." I was ready to let go of his hand, which is why I held his so loosely, but his grip on my hand never loosened. Instead, it tightened as if he never planned to let it go in the first place. I blinked at him questioningly, but when I saw his ears turning as red as his cheeks and his sky blue eyes staring at the ground, I just turned towards everyone else while tightening my hold on his hand as hard as he did. As I watched everyone laughing about and conversing with one another as they prepared to leave the compound, I pulled my hand out of his before lightly touching his fingers with mine. A light ticklish sensation crossed through our skin. It was like the fluttering of flower petals that caressed the skin. He slowly laced his fingers with mine in which I, in turn, intertwined my fingers with his completely.

"Kinra." He whispered out to me.

"Yes?"

"Thank you." I smiled at his words. "Thank you for coming."

"You're welcome." I lifted my mask up and put on my glasses. He stood closer next to me as our palms were now touching.

"Let's go, you guys!" Killua called out to everyone and pulled me out of the building as he warned Goto to not follow him anymore. As we were walking, Gon and Killua talked about Goto's trick before he started to talk about something entirely different. I was too focused on the close proximity between Killua and I to the point that my hearing only concentrated on the sound of Killua's voice. I never even heard Suou trying to talk to me, Leorio teasing me, or Kurapika asking me if I was okay.

I finally snapped out of it when I heard Gon's resolution. "-GIVE THIS TAG BACK TO HISOKA AND PUT MY FIST IN HIS FACE WITH IT! I'VE DECIDED NOT TO USE MY HUNTER CARD UNTIL I'VE DONE THIS!" He huffed after yelling out with determination.

"Ah, okay...And do you know where Hisoka is?" Killua stared at Gon when he paused at his question. There was a complete silence.

As if giving up, Kurapika sighed before deciding to answer Killua's question himself. "I know, Gon..."

"Really?" His face brightened up by a hundred. It was during this time when Kurapika and Leorio walked in front of us to explain about the existence of the Genei Ryodan and how Hisoka has information about them.

"I'll wait for you on September 1st in York Shin City. That's what Hisoka told me." Kurapika answered.

"York Shin City...? That's over 6 months!" Gon yelled out in exasperation when Leorio mentioned about the biggest auction that was being held there.

"If I find Hisoka, I'll call you." Kurapika assured Gon, who smiled at him and said, "Thanks!"

"Well, I'm going to leave you here... We were able to see Killua again and my break is over. I have to save money to join the auction sale. From now on, I'm going to look seriously for some work...as a Hunter." He turned towards us with a solemn smile.

Gon's own smile dimmed a little at his words. "Okay... We'll see you again in York Shin, Kurapika!"

"As for me, I'll return home.." Leorio awkwardly stated with an uneasy grin of his own.

"You too?!" Gon pouted at this because the two people he was with from the way beginning were leaving him.

"I haven't become a doctor yet. If I pass the entrance exam of a private university, I won't have to pay high expenses! I must hurry up and start studying!" Leorio passionately delivered to us.

With equal strength, Gon answered, "Un! Be strong!"

"We'll see each other later!"

"Yes! Next time..."

"IN YORK SHIN, ON SEPTEMBER 1ST!" We all yelled out at the same time with a determined smile.

* * *

I watched as Kurapika and Leorio left at the airport with the other remaining three. "Here we are! Only four of us left! So what are we going to do?" Gon interrupted the growing silence with his enthusiasm.

"'What are we going to do?'...? It's obvious!" Killua stared at him as if he grew another head.

He blinked as if he had no idea what Killua was talking about. "What? We're not going to have fun?"

"YOU! You really think you can manage to hit him even once in the condition you're in now?! Six months or even ten years wouldn't be enough!" He poked at Gon's chest continuously, while growling, pulling me with him in the process.

Dread suddenly drowned over me and cold sweat appeared on my skin. A whisper. A promise of death shifted into my hearing. The colors of life dimmed as if a filter was replacing my vision. As if realizing something was wrong, Suou grabbed my other hand.

"Onee-chan?" She lightly touched my arm and worry flickered through her emerald green eyes.

"I..." I paused. "I think I'll go to the bathroom." Detaching my hand from Killua's, he turned towards me with confusion and hurt.

"Kinra?" I realized that he was thinking along the lines of me rejecting him.

"I just need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I assured him with his eyes softening in understanding when he nodded. "Suou, take care of them." I knew that she probably wanted to go with me to make sure that I was okay but instead, she begrudgingly agreed. As I walked away from them and searched for the bathroom, the warmth in my hands vanished and was replaced by the empty coldness. I shuddered at the warping of my vision. Everything around me was becoming darker in color, so when I finally saw the white bathroom door, I sighed in relief and entered. I quickly splashed the cold water onto my face and closed my eyes to lessen the stress that was probably causing these weird changes in my vision. I felt the darkness in my eyes surround me as if dragging me downwards into the deepest part of the abyss. It was like I was floating right before going down to my inevitable fate of falling. I was dizzy and nauseous at this thought. Opening my eyes and staring into the mirror, something squeezed around my head like a balloon before pounding at the right side of the frontal lobe area of my head. I cringed at the unusual, yet familiar sensation of pain. Immediately, the strength in my legs faded away, which ended in me falling to the floor. Something grasped at my throat, causing me to gasp for air in desperation. There was something familiar yet dangerous about this experience. The whisper. The promise of death yelled louder than ever in my ears. My surroundings finally ended in utter darkness. And yet, the bathroom door glowed ever so slightly as if mocking my imminent death with the small shine of hope. I had to get out of here. I just need to leave. Using all of my strength, I shakily stood up and pushed myself towards the door when I heard a very familiar haunting noise. Right now, nothing else could be heard, except for that one single noise. A low rumbling noise from behind me. It was reminiscent of an animal eating and enjoying its dinner. The sound of munching and slurping. It was that monster. It had to be. There was nothing else that sounded just like that. Was I going to die again? Was I going to die in this bathroom? Last time, it was my bedroom and now, it was going to be a public bathroom. I swallowed nothing and strengthened my resolve before turning around to face that black demon of darkness. Expecting to be eaten like before, I flinched and shut my eyes, but nothing happened. I slowly opened my eyes again and examined the area.

There was nothing... There was absolutely nothing.

I almost fell to my knees in relief but decided that it was better if I went back to everyone. Running towards the door, I flung it open and continued to dash across the airport when my surroundings suddenly reverted back to normal with people and with the colors of life. The deafening silence from before disappeared as the sounds of normality occupied my ears. I never stopped running until I saw Gon, Killua, and Suou.

"Onee-chan! We decided where to go!" Suou walked up to me with a smile. "We're going to the tower of the Celestial Tournament!" I nodded in response, but my mind was elsewhere.

What...was that...? What on earth... I did not want to know what that was supposed to be. An experience to re-experience my death? My head continued to pound and throb in pain. I merely shivered at the thought and at the cold wind that blew against my skin. The golden pocket watch's chain jingled when my fingers rubbed against the watch. It was usually a good way to calm myself down.

Unfortunately, it was not working...at...all...

"Onee-chan? Are you okay? You look really pale and distracted..." I answered in silence. In fact, I never heard a single word she asked me because of my troubling thoughts. "She's thinking too much again... She was never like this, except for that one time..." She glanced at me with worry as we head over to the airship that we were supposed to ride in order to get to the tower.

"Is she okay?" Gon asked Suou.

"It's no use... When Onee-chan is like this, she can't hear anyone... Don't worry, once she's done thinking, she'll be back to normal..." Suou smiled in response as the two looked relieved.

"That's good!" Gon answered. Killua walked next to me and held my hand in an effort to connect me with the world and in an effort to calm me down. I felt the pressure warming my mind, causing any dark and confusing thoughts to fade away. I looked up at his concerned bright blue eyes. When Gon and Suou entered the airship, I took this chance to stand very close to Killua and took off my mask before whispering in his ear with a thankful smile, "Thank you."

His ears flushed red in response and when I pulled away, those bright blue eyes that I have come to greatly appreciate softened at my words. Soon, he stood very close to me and whispered into my own ear. "You're welcome." Backing away, his lips curled into a small smile as he intertwined his fingers with mine securely and tightly once more.

* * *

**EDIT1: Wow. I think this is my best edit so far. I really love what I did to this chapter for some reason. There wasn't any dialogue between the future Kinra and the future enemy, but it felt just as intense as the previous chapters. By the way, they are not in love with each other yet. Just saying. Right now, I guess Killua might be in the stage of having a crush on her, but I highly doubt it. They are more like companions or friends that support one another and understand each other for that matter. Well...close friends. At least for now... Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the edit. :D **

**Please R&amp;R! I'll be happy to see more reviews, favorites, or story alerts. Whatever floats your boat~~ :3 The next chapter will be a bit darker and will have the appearance of Zushi! :)**

**Time to thank my reviewers!**

**To TsukinoX: Your review makes me motivated as always. :D Thanks for the review!**

**To AnimeLover3232: Ahaha your compliment is making me super embarrassed and happy! ^/^ I'm glad that you love my story. I actually wrote 6-7 chapters after this one already and edited them. I just need to stop being lazy and update those chapters throughout my break. I even have the entire plot and arcs along with the end figured out, so you can be rest assured that I most likely will finish writing this story. :)) Anyways, besides that, thank you very much for your awesome review!**

**All of my readers, I'll update soon, so until then I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**EDIT1: So I didn't think I would edit chapter 8 the next day, but I really felt like editing today, despite my health issues, so here it is! ENJOY! Please review! :D**

**He****y**** everyone! ****It's time for the Heaven's Arena! Whatever is happening to Kinra will be revealed in time. :) Look forward to it! Today's chapter will show a new person and more about the past. ****Anyways, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

* * *

As we reached the tower entrance, I loosened my grip on Killua's hand, but he never loosened his. When the lady handed us a form to fill out, Killua used his non-dominant hand to write because he kept holding my hand. I squeezed his hand questioningly when he turned towards me with a reassuring smile. I cocked my head to the side.

"I'm okay." I whispered to him.

"Just in case." A little longer. That's what he was telling me. My lips unknowingly curled upwards as I nodded towards him before filling out my own form. Once we all finished, we handed the forms back to the lady and head into the first floor stadium. A loud cheer was heard and the arena smelled like pure sweat. Cringing with disgust at the overwhelming smell, I unconsciously stepped closer to Killua when my nose whiffed a warm chocolate scent. It was then my eyes fluttered with an unnatural sense of calm. I grabbed Killua's arm as if I was depending on him to maintain my balance while standing.

"Gon. It looks like it's your turn to fight." Killua gave him a thumbs-up.

"I'll be back!" He gave us a nervous grin as we wished him luck. Killua pulled me into a seat with Suou following after. She grabbed my other hand as if to give me a further sense of security. I leaned my head against hers gently and kissed her temple before thanking her for her concern. After all, who could resist their adorable younger sibling? She beamed with joy at being able to help me. In minutes, Gon, Killua, and Suou finished their battles. I continued to wait for my number to be called out.

"#2053 and #1999 in Ring C!" I shifted my mask and glasses before jumping down enthusiastically to the ring at the sound of the voice. A tall man sneered at me like I was an inferior and could do no harm on his body. At this, my eyes darkened considerably. I decided that I would make him understand that he should know better than to look down on me.

"Ready... BEGIN!" The referee announced as he raised both of his hands and gave a blow to his whistle. I slowly paced towards the man with great disinterest that obviously irked the male standing in front of me.

"You're going to regret not running!" Dashing towards me, he threw a punch when I took a step to the side to dodge. I then proceeded to grab his wrist and pulled him forward, which caused him to lose his balance. In seconds, I took a step back and then spun in a circle, where I held him down on the ground with my knee securing his position on the ground and with my hands locking his wrist in order to stop him from moving. He winced when he attempted to use his other hand to try to get up. I gave him a contemplative look before turning his wrist upwards. He yelped as his free hand hit the ground consecutively to show his admit in defeat.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked him quietly.

"Yes. YES! PLEASE!" He pleaded to me.

"Hmm..." I thoughtfully murmured to myself before swiftly hitting a pressure point with my hand to knock him out. His already tense body became stiff and then relaxed when I released him from my hold. I gracefully stood up from my position and stretched. Shifting my glasses and mask again, I walked over to the referee.

"I permit you to go as far as the fiftieth floor." He blinked and then handed me the receipt. I thanked him and ran over to the three that were waiting for me.

"Fiftieth floor, everyone?" Killua asked. Everyone nodded in confirmation. We hurriedly paced over into the elevator, where a lady kindly explained the floor rules. I gave her my utmost attention as an apology to the other three who were having their own conversation about the floors. I thanked the lady for the explanation and followed after everyone once we got off the right floor. Before we walked away, another elevator door opened, revealing a small young boy with a martial arts uniform. We locked eyes with him in silence.

"OSU!" He used the typical martial arts stance when he bowed. "I'm Zushi! You are?"

"I'm Killua."

"And I'm Gon."

"I'm Suou! Nice to meet you!"

"Kinra."

Walking together as a group, Zushi praised us. "I had the honor to see all of your matches. You're great!"

"What are you talking about? You only needed one fight to come here too." Killua retorted.

"That's true! You're like us!" Gon happily replied.

"Oh no...! Not yet! Tell me, from which dojo do you come from? Personally, I come from the Kung-Fu Shingen Dojo!" Zushi said with confidence. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Well... I did learn a little bit of Aikido, but..." I trailed off.

"Hmmm... We don't really have one...right?" Killua finished before pausing. He glanced back at us for confirmation. When we nodded in agreement, he smiled.

Zushi's eyes widened from shock. "WHAT?!" He muttered to himself. "To be able to reach such a level without being guided...That's a real shock for me. I still have to work a lot..."

I felt a presence from behind us. When I turned around to face this person, I found a young man with glasses, who appeared to be in his twenties. He clapped and called out to Zushi. "Zushi! That's good!"

He ran up to his teacher and bowed in greeting. "Master!"

Zushi's teacher praised him with amusement twinkling in his eyes. "You followed my teaching well."

"That's an honor! ...Master... Your shirt is..." He pointed out the part of his shirt that was not tucked in.

"Ah! Sorry!" Sheepishly, he tucked it in before straightening up his posture again. "And at your sides?" His attention turned to us.

Zushi introduced us to him. "Ah, they are Killua-san, Gon-san, Suou-san, and Kinra-san!" Killua and Gon used the stance that Zushi used before as a greeting, while Suou and I bowed with our hands in front.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Wing." Wing-sensei continued, "I never thought I would see other kids like Zushi. Why are you here?"

Killua hesitated before answering. "Well...to become stronger, but...We're out of money and we wanted to earn some."

Proudly, Gon pointed out, "Killua has already participated."

"Ah...If you came this far, then you must be strong. Then you should take care of yourself and also of your adversaries." Wing-sensei responded when we all headed to the waiting room. After exchanging the tickets with earnings for the previous fight, Gon counted the money.

"One hundred and fifty two Jenis..." He said out loud.

"That's the price of a drink..." Zushi murmured.

Killua looked at us thoughtfully before informing us. "On the first floor, if you win or lose, you still receive the prize of a drink. But from now on, if we lose, we earn nothing! On the fiftieth floor, the victory gives you fifty thousand Jenis."

Gon's eyes lit up. "Fifty thousand?"

"And at the hundredth floor, about one million." Killua added in as he drank his juice. "If we pass the hundred fiftieth floor level, the reward is over ten million."

"Ten..." Gon and Zushi's eyes widened.

"Killua has already gone to the two hundredth floor..." Gon murmured to himself as if remembering what he had told him. Zushi, on the other hand, was shocked at the news he just received.

"THE TWO HUNDREDTH?!"

Killua shrugged. "It was about four years ago and I don't have money anymore... It helped me buy cake for four years." He absentmindedly threw the empty can into the trashcan.

"And how much can you earn at the two hundredth floor?" Suou asked him.

"Hmm... To tell you the truth, I quit just before the two hundredth floor, so I don't really know...but at the hundred ninetieth floor, I received about two hundred million Jenis..." He answered.

"200,000,000... Four years of cake... What kind of cakes were they...?" They stared at Killua's back with big eyes.

He motioned for us to follow him to the waiting room. "How about we hurry up a bit? Since we weren't injured in the first match...They'll plan another match for us today for sure..." After entering the room, Zushi and Killua were immediately called up for a match. Once they left, we each were called up to our own matches that we won with no issues. We met up afterwards to discuss when Killua informed us with a troubled expression on how he won with some difficulty and how he found out that Zushi was using something called 'Ren.' They seemed curious as to what that was, but decided it best to focus on winning right now. After a few days, we won consecutively until we finally reached the hundredth floor.

Suou grabbed my hand excitedly. "Finally a room of our own, Onee-chan! Too bad we can't be in the same room as Gon and Killua!"

I laughed at her words. "Indeed, but I'm actually quite relieved."

"Why?" She questioned me as we walked together, while bumping our shoulders playfully with one another in an effort to rid of our boredom.

I cleared my throat and spoke in a serious monotonous tone. "Well... First of all, we don't have to worry about wearing clothes that cover us completely. Second of all, less cooking means less cleaning. Third of all, it gives us time for some family bonding. Fourth of all, the room will just smell like us."

"So all in all, it would just be more convenient for the two of us to act like idiots. Just like in the past." Suou nodded her head consecutively with a stern expression.

I paused and turned towards her. "Basically, yes." We stared at each other for a few moments before laughing out loud.

Sobering from her laughter, she looked up at me nervously. "So... Why can't we tell Gon and Killua about Nen? They seemed to want to know what it is!"

I understood her dilemma. After all, she does not want to lose her new friends because of this. "Suou. There are some things in life that must be taught by teachers who are much more experienced than us and there are other things in life that must be discovered and taught by themselves. If we taught them Nen, they would not be properly trained, which might limit their ability to reach their maximum potential in the future. That is why we must keep quiet about it until someone who is much more experienced in it decides to take them under their wing. It is not only that though. Despite the fact that I was trained properly, I am still in great need of guidance from another teacher, due to my failure in remembering all of the details from the teachings from when I was younger. You are also not properly trained in this area, which is why I am hoping that whoever Killua and Gon receives as a teacher would also teach you. I know that you can handle your Nen to a great extent, but learning from all the scrolls from the Clan only limits your own ability and potential. Do you understand what I am telling you?"

"Yes. I hope they learn about Nen soon though. I want to meditate with them and everything! That would be so much fun!" Her eyes brightened at the thought. We closed the door and jumped on our fluffy beds. "Good night, Onee-chan!" She put the covers over her and immediately went to sleep.

"Good night, my adorable little sister of mine." I chuckled to myself before putting my own covers over me. As I tried to fall asleep, a dull ache throbbed on the right side of my frontal lobe area of my head. I shivered when I felt a cold soft breeze touch my skin. Something locked my body in place. I could not move. I could not hear. I could not do a single thing at all. There was a hurricane of dizziness and nausea in my mind as I attempted to breathe in and out deeply to calm myself down. Unfortunately, the whisper. The promise of death screeched louder than ever in my ears. It was then when my body allowed me to finally pass out in my bed.

* * *

When we saw Killua and Gon again, they appeared to be disturbed.

"Are you both okay?" Suou asked them.

Killua flinched at her inquiry and answered her quickly. "Huh? Nothing... Nothing's wrong."

"Oh... Okay then..." She looked at him suspiciously before letting it go.

Gon pulled on Killua's sleeve and whispered to him. "Why aren't we telling them about Nen, Killua?"

"Let's tell them when we actually get the truth about it instead of the lie." He whispered back secretively. I gave a small smile when I realized that they must have met with Wing-sensei and Zushi about Nen. A raw breeze of death touched me once more. The hairs on my arms stood up as a chill went down my spine. I felt goosebumps on my skin and the pounding of pain in my head repeated as if not giving me a chance to breathe. I grimaced before carefully masking it with a calm face.

* * *

Suou ran in front of us with a huge grin on her face. "We finally reached the two hundredth floor!" She cheered while I chuckled to myself. It was then when I noticed that Killua and Gon appeared extremely nervous.

I cocked my head to the side. "What's wrong?"

"Well, I don't know what to expect since I've never been to this floor." Killua admitted to us honestly.

Suou's bright expression wavered ever so slightly before recovering. "It's okay! We can do this!" She enthusiastically pulled me out of the elevator when I immediately found several intents to kill towards us. My guard went up and I searched around the area with narrowed eyes through my tinted glasses. Pulling up my mask securely and shifting my hood to cover my face better, I waited for the imminent attack of Nen from the waiting clown. The three continued to walk as if not sensing the danger. When I saw them stop moving, I felt the aftereffects of the murdering energy that was directed towards us. It was Hisoka's Nen. I quickly surrounded my own Nen around my body as a guard against his with 'Ken.' I walked forward with no issues. A lady from the reception desk appeared from the hallway and tiredly explained to us that we must register for the matches on the two hundredth floor by midnight tonight or else our registration will be refused. Behind her, Hisoka finally appeared.

"Gon, Killua, Suou." I whispered to them. They glanced over at me with struggle. "Back away from here. You can't handle it at your current state. Come back when you learn. Isn't that right, Wing-san?" Confusion flickered through their eyes, but from behind us, we heard a pair of footsteps until they stood right next to me. It was indeed Wing-sensei. I nodded at him in acknowledgement as he nodded right back at me for the same reason.

He faced the other three with a kind and warning smile. "Don't insist. In front of his Nen, you have almost no defense. You're like someone in the ice flow who asks himself why he is so cold. If you make your body and spirit endure any more than this, you'll inevitably die. I'm going to explain the real 'Nen' to you. But let's start by leaving this place." Killua paused as if unsure and looked at me when I smiled at him apologetically before nodding. He sighed and gave me a look that told me to explain everything once this was all over. I sheepishly nodded at him and pushed Suou towards the two.

"Have fun, Suou." I patted her shoulder and waited for her reply.

She hesitated for a second but smiled brightly while waving enthusiastically at me before following them. "Un! I'll be back with them then! Jyaa ne, Onee-chan!" After watching them leave, I turned my heel and head for the reception desk. Easily going past Hisoka's Nen blast, my eyes flickered towards him before looking at the desk. I paused for a second when I was a little past Hisoka.

"Thank you." I murmured to him. From behind me, I heard the noise of cards flying into the wall stop.

"The fruit must grow to its fullest potential." Basically, he was telling me that I had no need to thank him for anything when it was just for his own selfish reasons. I sighed. Of course, he would say that.

"Thank you anyways." I whispered.

"Hmm." He muttered before going back to throwing cards into the wall. I smiled to myself pleasantly and stood in front of the desk. The lady handed me a piece of paper, which I filled out quickly. The sound of cards flying into the wall lulled me into a false sense of security as I struggled to maintain my guard. Suddenly, a wave of anger, hatred, and disgust consumed me. I dropped the pen and slipped the complete paper to the lady before stepping to the side in order to dodge the knife that was thrown at where I stood. The knife, thankfully, hit the wall, but I noticed that if it did hit me, I would have died instantly as it was aimed for the back of my neck. I silently narrowed my eyes at the person who threw it. It was a young man who wore a cloak and a fox mask.

"Masked Fighter. I challenge you to a fight. Accept it.. OR die here..." Masked Fighter. That was my nickname in this place. When Killua asked me why I called myself that, I just shrugged and said that it was for fun, but it was actually just a way to hide my true identity from the world. The Clan must never find me or else I will suffer the severe consequences from not being careful. I promised that person. And I intend to keep that said promise.

"Who are you." I watched every movement, every breath, every noise from this person.

"I am Kitsune."

"Well Kitsune-san. Why do I have to accept a challenge from you, besides your threat to kill me here?"

"You took someone important from us that we must take back at all costs."

"And who is this important someone that you speak of?" A feeling of dread washed over me.

"Rose ojou-sama." My blood turned cold and I froze at his words.

"And if I don't accept the challenge...?" I muttered.

"Then I will forcefully take her to her rightful place and execute anyone who goes against this decision." My hand twitched at the threat.

"I see. If that is the case, then I shall accept this challenge. However, allow me, the lower, to choose the date we fight."

"I accept that condition. Any other?"

"If I win, you will leave us all alone and never inform that person about our location. If you win, you can kill me and take Rose to that person yourself. Is that acceptable to you?" The male contemplated my words before nodding. I grabbed a form and turned to him. "The battle will be held on March 1." He nodded once more and we turned in our forms. He vanished in thin air afterwards as if he was never actually there a few seconds before. I sighed and was about to walk away when I heard Hisoka's low rumbling voice as he threw another card at the wall.

"Have you found your true fighting style, young fruit? Dying early for you as well would be such a shame... Hm..?"

"There is nothing to worry about." I finally walked away to enter my new room. Sitting down on my bed, I threw my pack to the floor. Anxiety, stress, and fear tumbled into my heart. I breathed in and out slowly and carefully to settle myself. There was no point in fearing for what is to come. Nothing I could do now would change anything. I saw from the corners of my bag the folded form of an old letter. Fingering the golden pocket watch from my pocket, I stood up and grabbed the letter. I stared at its folded form. The pure white color of the paper mocked me. It laughed at me as if my future was bleak and filled with misery. I felt a small headache coming when I thought about all the choices, all the paths that I must choose for the future of the Clan. For Alice. For Yuu. I flipped open the watch to listen to the small peaceful tune and placed it on the blanket as I unfolded the letter to read it for the millionth time.

* * *

_Dear Kinra,_

_I apologize for not explaining to you properly about what was going on with the Clan and why we even summoned you in the first place. Read this carefully until you have memorized it word to word._

_As you may know from before, the Clan was changing. We received recent information that someone betrayed the Clan rules. It was too much of a shock that Grandfather desperately searched for a way to make the best weapon from legends, alchemy, magic, and tricks. Among these stories, there was one that talked about a being capable of controlling time and an energy capable of destroying the dimensions. With great hope, he tried them all out. Nonetheless, none of them worked, except one. It took eight days to complete the ritual. From our drastic efforts, you appeared as our result. At first, the Elders were very appalled that a small child was summoned, in particular, a female child. However, Grandfather decided to take his chance with you, which ultimately led us to meet each other._

_Once I passed the Hunter exams, Grandfather and the Elders ordered me to investigate a series of legends. Within these legends, I discovered a shocking truth. This truth is..._

* * *

When the tune stopped playing, I noticed a few familiar voices outside of my room. I placed the letter back into my bag carefully and shoved the closed watch into my pocket. Opening the door, I greeted them with a tired smile. "Hey. Did you make it on time?"

"Ah. I'm sorry, Onee-chan. Were you in the midst of sleeping?" Suou looked at my outfit. "Or a nap? Since that definitely is not what you wear when you go to sleep."

"Neither. I was just doing some light reading." I leaned against the doorway. "Killua, would you like me to explain myself now?" He shook his head.

"Suou already explained it to me, so there's no need." Killua glanced up to me before continuing. "I'm not mad at you either. I was just... confused. It makes sense though. Although... You still could have told us what it was..." He trailed off.

"And then what would you have done if I explained about it?" I questioned him. He kept quiet after that. I sighed. "Exactly. You two would have wanted me to explain more and to teach you guys in some way or form when I am not qualified to do such a thing. That is why I kept quiet for the entire time." I smiled in a wistful manner. "I had to wait patiently for a qualified teacher to teach you guys."

"You're right." He whispered in a guilty manner. I suddenly felt bad for pounding on him like that, so I pinched his cheek. "Wha-"

"You don't need to feel guilty. That's not what happened, so we don't need to think about it anymore." I firmly told him as he nodded in surprise. "Anyways, I need to tell you guys something." They gave me their utmost attention. "I have my first match on March 1. It's about a week from now. Because of this, I need to focus on only training and nothing else. Do you understand? I feel bad for asking this of you two." I stared at Killua and Gon. "But can you both take care of my little sister? I'm worried for her safety and...well...everything." Suou turned bright red with embarrassment.

"ONEE-CHAN?! I'll be okay! Just focus on training then. Jeez. You don't need to ask them for that!" She mumbled to me as she hid her face with her hands. "Anyways, Gon has a fight tomorrow!"

"Really? That's really fast. Are you prepared for it?" I asked him.

"I don't know. But I really want to test out these new powers... Nen..." He stared at his hands with excitement.

"It's good that you're enthusiastic about it, but be sure to know your limits, Gon. Either way, good luck out there since I won't be able to watch you fight tomorrow." I pat his shoulder encouragingly.

"Thanks!" He beamed with anticipation. "And you don't need to worry about Suou! Killua and I will take good care of her!" Killua nodded in agreement.

"UGH! I'll be fine! Jeez. You worry too much, Onee-chan!" Suou flushed red with frustration.

"It's for your own good. Plus, I can't help it when it comes to my adorable little sister of mine." I ruffled her hair in good nature as she tried to fix it.

"Good luck with training." Killua whispered to me. My eyes darkened at the reminder of my fight.

"Thanks... I'll definitely need it." I muttered bitterly to myself. If I don't win this fight...then I'll die by the hands of that Kitsune. Either way, this fight will determine if I get to live or not.

Killua's eyes flickered when he caught the tone of my voice.

"Well, we should get to our rooms now." Suou yawned. "Night, Onee-chan."

"That would be a good idea. Good night, Kinra!" Gon waved at me and followed after Suou, who was now walking away.

"Good night, you two." I warmly smiled at them. Killua intertwined his fingers with mine.

"What's wrong." He asked me with suspicion. "And don't say that you don't know because I caught that. Something happened when we were gone, right? And it has to do with that fight that you'll be in." I winced when he hit the mark.

"I... I think I'm just tired." I murmured.

Killua watched her eyes flicker with dull emptiness. It was as if she was experiencing the same thing over and over again. At first, he thought that she was talking about not getting enough sleep, but he remembered that this was Kinra, not some regular young person. He knew that because she felt old, there had to be of some consequence of that gift of wisdom and knowledge that she had accumulated over the years. The obvious pain in her deep brown eyes wrenched at his heart achingly.

Killua walked towards me without letting go of my hand until he pulled me into a tight embrace. "Then rest. You can rest whenever you're with me. I won't let you down. Whenever you're tired, just come to me. I won't ask. I won't demand you to tell me everything. I'll just wait. I'll wait for you to tell me everything yourself." The sound of his voice almost lulled me into sleeping in his arms while standing, but I fought to stay awake.

"Thank you." I whispered to him. In his arms, I felt so safe. Away from that whisper. Away from that promise of death. Away from the Kitsune. Away from everything that tried to bring me down. But I knew that he was tired for today after using his Nen for the first time. And so, I pulled away from his embrace. I pulled my hand away from his. I cupped his cheeks with my hands. "But for today, you should rest. It wouldn't do us both good if we were tired beyond repair for tomorrow. Get some rest and support Gon, since he is the one who needs your support more than me at the moment." Killua's light blue eyes softened at my words.

"Okay. Sleep well then." His fingers caressed my hands and before I dropped them down to my side, I felt a ghostly brush of his lips against my fingers when he turned his head. "Good night, Kinra." His warm breath blew against my ear, giving a gentle tickling sensation. My heart fluttered at the sudden contact.

"Good night, Killua." I breathlessly answered as I watched him walk away. When I shut my door, I put my pocket watch on the drawer next to the bed. Rewinding it completely, I opened it to listen to the tune once more. When I laid down on my bed, I groggily closed my eyes in an attempt to sleep peacefully. It was a moment of beauty and connection.

The cold breeze prickled at my skin, causing goosebumps on my arms. A whisper taunted me as I slept. My dream consisted of the color white. Of pain. Of utter horrible death. The sounds of my bones cracking. That was the last thing I recalled when I jerked awake with sweat dripping down from my skin. My body ached as if something had bitten me continuously. I shuddered to myself, while I wrapped my arms around me as a way to protect myself. I no longer had the pleasure of sleeping, so I stared at the door of this room with cold emptiness. Silently, I begged the Gods, the Entity, and everything for the agony, the pain, the horror, the atrocity to go away. However, in response to my prayers, the pounding in my head grew bigger and the coldness of the room exponentially increased. I felt hot tears gather at the corner of my eyes as it trickled down my cheeks. In an attempt to distract myself, I bit down on my bottom lip hard, causing blood to drip down from the newly-caused wound.

Unfortunately, it did nothing at all.

I stared at the watch that laid comfortably on top of the drawer. It continued to play its tune as if it was trying to desperately comfort me. Perhaps Yuu was controlling it in order to comfort me in this darkness. A way to give me light and peace. Perhaps, it really was him.

If it was Yuu, how nice it would have been for me...

* * *

**EDIT1: Whew. I think it's starting to take a toll on my health again, so I might have to wait a week or so before I start editing again. Sorry about that. I really would like to write/edit more but having nausea and dizziness in the middle of editing doesn't really help me. Nonetheless, I would like to have more reviews from everyone (especially about whether the people who follow/favorite receive alerts from when I update a chapter) in order to encourage me to write more, despite my health issues. I do like the favorites and follows, but reviews are the utmost definite thing that keeps me going. So please review for me? :D Thanks! **

**Please R&amp;R! I'll be happy to see more reviews, favorites, or story alerts. Whatever floats your boat~~ :3 ****Those notifications give me the strength to keep writing! Anyways, t****he next chapter will ****be darker with shocking news and discoveries. It will also have a little KiKi interactions! Look forward to it! Tomorrow, I will double update. Chapter 9 and 10 will be released in the morning and at night.**** :)**

**Now... T****o thank my ****awesome ****reviewers!**

**To TsukinoX: ****Ahaha I'm glad that you enjoy reading my story! :)) Thank you for the reviews as always! :D I always gain a lot of energy and motivation whenever I see your review! Hope you continue to enjoy reading my story~~~**

**To AnimeLover3232: ****I wasn't sure if I was making Killua in character or if people even liked KiKi, but now I feel more assured about the current development of their relationship. You shall find out what happens in the bathroom later in the future. :) Everything is tied together in some way or form, so keep an eye out for other small details. Thanks for the review again! **

**To Jonica77 (Guest): Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you really like my story! Muhahaha you shall find out what is happening to Kinra...one day. Look forward to the future chapters that will reveal everything slowly piece by piece! :)) **

**All of my readers, ****I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**EDIT1 (26 May 2015): HELLO EVERYONE! Somehow, I feel better today, soooo I decided to edit again! I know. It's as if I'm on a roll now. It feels so good to edit though. Well, here you go! ENJOY!**

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 9 as promised! This chapter reveals Kitsune's identity and will have more KiKi interactions. ****Anyways, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

* * *

Approximately 82 hours passed.

Within those 82 hours, I suffered through multiple series of pain, temperature, and breathing issues, which stripped me of my appetite, sleep, and sensibility. However, I did not rest or curl in a fetus position to rebuke the effects from my problems. Instead, for the first 24 hours, I brainstormed and investigated the powers of my 'Hatsu,' my strengths, and my weaknesses. It was tough in the sense that I had to be incredibly imaginative to try to understand the true purpose of my Yochigan, but after using it several times on multiple amounts of people, I gained a vague idea of what I was supposed to be looking for. I, especially, grasped the concept of my power after an accident. When I bumped into someone in the street, something unexplainable occurred. When I managed to correct what I had done, I then fully comprehended the extent of my power. Because of that, everything else fell into place like a puzzle within those first 24 hours.

The next 48 hours after were filled with training. Controlling. Acknowledging. Mistaking. Testing. Leveling the strength of destruction. It can be described as the art of death. The cold blooded manipulation of fates. The disintegration of life. The last 10 hours consisted of restoring my Nen from my Nen depletion due to my intensive training. I stared at the ceiling. My eyelids were extremely heavy from lack of sleep. The pounding in my head grew as if mocking my existence in trying to survive, in trying to live in this world. The moment my eyelids closed, chills ran down my spine once more. I shuddered as I dragged myself off the bed. There was no use in trying to go to sleep. Maybe... I looked through the window, where the sky glowed a soft blue and the clouds drifted away lazily. I trudged out of my room, pulling my cloak closer to myself. The mask and tinted glasses laid forgotten on top of the drawer next to my bed. Breathing heavily, I managed to make it to the elevator without passing out. After I pressed the button, I leaned against the wall. My mind was empty. Cold emptiness. I knew I was forgetting something important. Something someone told me to do, but no matter how many times I tried to think, pain was the only thing I could process. Giving up, I reluctantly entered the elevator and greeted the lady in charge of the buttons.

"Which floor?"

"First." I whispered to her hoarsely. She nodded before pressing the first button.

When she watched me with worry glistening in her eyes, she asked in a soft voice, "Are you alright?"

"I'll be okay." I reassured her, but I knew that my appearance contradicted my words. My hair that used to glow healthily turned oily due to my negligence in showering for the past 82 hours. I stared at my reflection off of the shiny wall of the elevator and found dead dull eyes looking back at me. The huge dark bags under my eyes accentuated the lifelessness reflected. My posture, no longer straight, slumped as I held onto the bars of the elevator. I tasted the dried blood that crept from the injury of my dry and cracked bottom lip. I felt. I felt utterly disgusting. My existence. My power. It felt too foreign. Too forbidden. It was a curse and a blessing, just like me.

I exited the tower and walked along the busy streets. My hood was, for once, down, causing the world to see my face. I stood in the middle and closed my eyes. The warm sunshine caressed my face as I faced the sky. Soon, I heard babies crying for the mothers, kids laughing from their ploys, teenagers gossiping about their mutual interests, adults gambling for more money, and elders enjoying the nice weather with their pets. Breathing deeply, I opened my eyes when I felt released from the prison of my room. Walking with no set destination, I allowed my feet to take me to wherever it wanted.

* * *

The grocery stalls were busy with all the customers crowding towards the sales and pushing each other to grab the best quality of goods. Killua and Suou stared at one stall in particular. Not for the sales and not for the best quality of goods.

"So... What's best for broken bones?" Suou asked him.

"Hmm... Something with Calcium, since it's good for strengthening the bones." He stared at the bag of anchovies.

"For a moment, you sounded like Kurapika." She giggled as he made a face at her words. Grunting, he finally bought the bag of anchovies. "If you're getting anchovies, then I'll get him milk, since that has Calcium in it too." She bought the bottle of milk with great satisfaction. When she looked away from the stall, for a moment, she thought she saw her older sister from afar with a dazed look in her eyes, but when she closed her eyes and looked again, there was no one there. It reminded her of when they shared a room in the tower. All she could recall were the screams of pain, the cries of torture, the heavy breaths of desperation, and the dull dead eyes of her sister in the middle of the night. When she called out to her and shook her shoulder the first time in worry, Suou knew then that Kinra, even though awake from the plagues that tormented her, did not recognize her. She did not hear her and that she herself did not understand nor remembered the state she placed herself in that dead of the night. The next morning further proved that when she subtly asked her about it. Sadly or unfortunately, Kinra showed no signs of recognition in her question. Because of this, Suou would always hug her tightly and whispered words of reassurance every single time Kinra 'woke' up from her nightmares. "Killua." She tugged on his sleeve.

"Yeah?" He turned towards her.

"Do you like my sister?" Her words narrowed with determination. Startled by her bluntness, he just stared at her. "And I don't mean as a friend. Do you like her as a female? A girl. A woman, or whatever you guys think of. The opposite sex. The opposite gender-"

"Okay, okay! I get the point." He raised his hands up in front of him before lowering them again. He stayed silent and stared at the ground thoughtfully. Killua finally looked up at her. "I don't know."

"Wha-" Suou blinked at him with surprise.

"I really don't know. I don't know what to think of her. She was a puzzle. She was a companion of sorts. She was a teacher. She was a connection."

"Was?"

"Yes, but now she is the answer and the question. She is the lost and the found. She is the friend but is not the friend. She is my opposite but is also the same." His lips widened wistfully. "AUGH!" He was about to tear out his hair in utter frustration. "She's just everything..."

"Everything?" He stayed silent at her question. Realizing that he ended the conversation and how lost he was in his own thoughts, she turned her heel and started to walk towards the tower with him. "Well, you better not hurt my sister either way. She's my only beloved family that I have left and I want her to become happy." Suou whispered to him. "I love her a lot and when she is in pain, it really hurts me here." She pounded at her heart. "If there was a way to drain away all of her pain and to give them to me, I would do it in a heartbeat. Sadly, there is no foolproof method that can allow me to do that. But..." She stood in front of him. He stopped and watched her. "She trusts you. She connects with you. For once in her life, she might have found the person who she wants by her side. I might be her family. I might be her adorable little sister. But... I could not... I was not able to protect her. I was not able to save her. I was not able to find her." Frustrated tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. "The moment you were able to snap her out of her thoughts at the airport, I knew... I knew that you had beaten me in what I wanted to do for her. To be able to support her. To have the one last chance to save her..." Killua stared at her, unsure of what to do. Tears dripped down from her eyes. "It's not fair." Suddenly, she wiped away her tears and concentrated her gaze elsewhere.

"Wha-what's wrong." He inquired in fear that she might start crying again.

"Is that Onee-chan over there or am I seeing things?" She pointed in a general direction behind him. When he turned around, he saw exactly what she saw. It was Kinra.

"Didn't she say that she was going to be training?" He asked as she confirmed in affirmation.

"She doesn't look very good." Suou muttered.

Killua took a moment to think before deciding. "Let's go after her. We won't show ourselves to her but we can make sure she is okay from afar."

"Good idea. We'll decide afterwards if we should go to her or not." They followed her discreetly.

* * *

I smelled the fresh air of the grassy hill. On top, there laid a huge tree that provided a shade so comfortable that it almost called out to me to go over there and sleep. Without resisting, I trudged through the soft green grass. With great disappointment, I found someone else taking a nap under this nice tree. Before I was about to turn my heel to walk away, I heard his familiar voice.

"Masked Fighter." The cold empty tone of the male's voice. I stared down at him. His fox mask laid lazily on top of his face. His cloak revealed nothing. He revealed nothing. And he knew. He knew who I was.

"Kitsune..." I found myself saying. I stood quietly and awaited his next words.

"Do you know who I am." It was clipped. Short. To the point.

"You are a member of the Clan." I stated.

"Do you know who I am." He asked me once again.

"I do not care to know who you are." My voice quivered from exhaustion.

The male gracefully stood up from his spot and walked over to me. "You were close to Alice." At the mention of her name, I winced inwardly.

"I was..." I whispered as I stared at the ground. He lifted my chin with a glare that could have drilled a hole in my head.

"Do not... DO NOT look away, lower. You are not allowed for such freedom." He snarled with such harshness. I shook with anger as my hands curled into fists. I felt disgusting. I felt utterly disgusting. My existence. My power. It felt too foreign. Too forbidden. And yet, why... WHY AM I THE LOWER? Why do I see more disgust in the person before me? Why am I...a person who lost everything and can no longer go back to the innocent...Why was I... Why am I not allowed for such freedom? It was always the Clan. It was always for the sake of the Clan. The Clan. The Clan. The Clan, Clan, Clan, Clan! Disgusting... This world is disgusting. They are all disgusting. So wrapped up in their own arrogance, in their own desires, in their own prideful stupidity. It was never for the future. It was never about the innocent. It was always about the Elders. It was always about the adults. It was always, always, always about them. The Leader. The Elders. The adults. The manipulated children. All of their obsessions towards the Clan. All of their sacrifices for their Clan. All of their scapegoats. All of their riches. As if forbidding death to touch them, they find others. Someone apart from the Clan. Someone from the Outside World. An Outsider. To destroy their enemies with no sacrifice or desire from their own.

* * *

_An injured girl with dark olive brown hair and light gray blue eyes stared at me from afar. I stared back at her while holding Yuu's hand._

_"Yuu." I called out to him._

_"Yes?"_

_"Who is she?" I tugged on his sleeve to show him who I was referring to. His eyes softened at who I was talking about._

_"She's..." He hesitated before continuing. "She's an Outsider like you."_

_"It was the Clan that hurt her, wasn't it?"_

_"Well..." Yuu trailed off as if he was struggling to tell me something else about her._

_"She is being trained to kill me if I fail the mission or go against the Clan, right? She is Midori, the child born from a Clan member and a non-Clan member. I know." I whispered to him. He stared down at the ground in shame. _

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Don't be." I walked towards the girl and placed an ointment bottle in front of her. "Use it if you want. It's quite effective. But if you don't want to, you can always throw it away." I then turned my heel away from the girl and towards Yuu. "Let's go. We need to start training."_

* * *

I breathed in and out deeply to calm myself. "Of course." I muttered bitterly. "Is there anything else that you wish to tell me?"

"Alice." His voice darkened with venom at his next words. "...is dead." My heart stopped with disbelief.

"What...?" My legs trembled as all of my strength started to seep away from me. "Y-you're lying... There's no way she would die that easily. Yuu promised me. He said that he would protect her no matter what... He said that he would. YOU'RE LYING!" I activated my Yochigan in despair. His figure was dark blue, rather than the usual blue. His Shoukou and Nen streams were as white as normal, but what disturbed me the most was his eyes. His eyes that were supposed to be one white eye and the other black ended up being one black eye and the other almost black except for the white small center that I can barely see. The man in front of me was about to be consumed by the darkness. The pressure points, which were supposed to be the black dots, were nowhere to be found. Instead, over his shoulders and head, I heard giggles of small grinning imps with tiny scythes dangling from their tiny claws. As they crawled over to get a better look at me, they pulled at his hair and clothes. When their eyes met mine, I deactivated my Yochigan to regain control over myself. "Why..." My voice strained from all the stress, all the pain that I was feeling, all the horror from the news, and all the frustration at my own weakness.

"Because of you." A heavy silence drenched over us.

"How." I stared at this heartless man. This man who knew nothing of the truth.

"Beheaded and burned."

My voice became hoarse due to the dryness of my throat. "Burned...?" I could only imagine just how painful it would have been for her. The torture of fire melting each nerve slowly through the skin. The screams that could not justify how large the wish of just wanting to die already to end it all was. "I see."

"Do you know who I am." He repeated his question.

"You are..." I reached out to grab the fox mask off of his face. Realizing that he was allowing me to take it off, I pulled it off of him before dropping it to the floor. "You are..." My heart churned. It squeezed and pounded as if someone was hitting it with a hammer continuously. "How... Then it's true...?" I whimpered and shook with utter shock. Hot tears finally rolled down, unable to stop the despair I felt for the person in front of me. The strength in my legs faded away, allowing me to fall to the ground on my knees. "Why..."

Dead forest green eyes bored into my head with the dull emptiness from before. "Why, indeed." His voice echoed harshly as he looked upon me with such cold hatred.

* * *

"Who is he?" Suou whispered to Killua as he shook his head.

"I don't know. I never saw him before."

"Do you think she is training with him?" It seemed like a plausible explanation.

"Maybe." He answered, but when Kinra was about to walk away after seeing that male, he knew that was not it. "I guess she isn't training with him."

"But they seem to know each other, seeing how she is talking with him now." Suou pointed out.

"YOU'RE LYING!" That was all they could hear from her, but now he knew that something was majorly wrong here. Before he could say anything to Suou, she turned towards him.

"Give me the anchovies. I'll take these to Gon. I don't know what is going on, but Onee-chan would want you to comfort her. Even if I go, she wouldn't show her weak side to me. I don't want her to be broken anymore, so I'm entrusting her to you. I told you before. You are probably her last chance to be saved." Her eyes became downcast with sadness before she started to grin. "Take care of her for me... Please?"

"Suou..." Killua paused before nodding. "Leave it to me."

"Thank you." She grabbed the bag of anchovies from him and dashed off to the tower.

Killua turned towards the situation in front of him. During that conversation with Suou, Kinra fell to the ground on her knees and was crying softly to herself, while the masked male was unmasked. He noticed how that man's hair was a cold burgundy color with layers that did nothing to soften his overall look and his eyes was an empty dull forest green color. The only emotion that could be found in his gaze was hatred. Pure hatred and anger. The man's frown was apparent, roughening the image of his tall figure.

Now there was only one question left that needed to be answered.

Who is he?

* * *

"Do you know who I am." He repeated once again.

"Yes." My teeth rattled from my frustration.

"Who am I."

"You are Yuu. Yuu of the Clan." I shakily managed to pull out my pocket watch from my cloak. "You are my teacher. The one who taught me how to fight. The one who stood by my side to protect me from the Clan. The one who patiently waited for me to accept you as my friend. The one who adored and loved Alice. The one..."

* * *

_"Yuu! We're here!" I called out to him. His forest green eyes glimmered with relief and adoration, hiding the sorrow of our inevitable separation._

_"You're safe. Thank god... Kinra..." He pulled me into a tight embrace._

_"Yuu... You will protect Alice, while I'm gone, right? I mean it's not like I doubt you since I know that you love her in that way, but-"_

_"I will protect her. No matter what." He interrupted me with the knowledge that all I wanted was some kind of reassurance._

_"You... You will stay safe too, right? You will take good care of yourself, right?" I buried my face into the crane of his neck once more._

_"I will if you will." He merely whispered to me with that familiar soft voice of his._

_"Yuu..."_

_"Yes?" He responded, while trying to stop himself from crying._

_"You know that I love you, right?" I tightened my grip on his shirt._

_"Yes. And you know that I will always love you, right?" I heard his voice crack and felt the droplets of tears fall onto my hair._

_"Yes. Goodbye, Yuu." I let go of him, but he tightened his embrace, so that I would not escape._

_"Don't forget about Alice and I." He whispered in my ear and placed something cold in my hand before letting go. "Stay safe, my family... My Kinra."_

* * *

"The one who called me his family and the one who gave me this pocket watch... Do you even remember me? Do you recognize me? Did I just become the kidnapper who took Rose with me?" I flipped open the pocket watch, hearing the tune flow out of it. "Answer me, Yuu!" He strode towards me and closed the watch before throwing it out of my hand and onto the cold hard ground.

"You are no family of mine. You are just a lower being whose name is Kinra. The Masked Fighter. The one who I must fight. But in the end, you are nothing but a criminal that must be executed. Rose ojou-sama is the only priority I have and is the mission that I was given by the Elders. I must protect the Clan as it is my duty as it is theirs to protect her. Those who go against the Clan must be eliminated and destroyed as they are trash." He sneered in my ear. I shivered at this Yuu. He was not the Yuu I knew. He was not him. My hands curled into fists as I shook in anger.

"You are not him. You are nothing but an empty shell. An empty shell that is controlled by that person!" I stood up and glared down at him. "The Clan?" I laughed out loud uncontrollably. "The Clan... The Clan! That is all you guys talk about. What is so great about the Clan that you are so obsessed, so manipulated like domesticated animals? Your attachment. Your obsession. Those who go against the Clan must be eliminated and destroyed? They are trash? What foolishness! If the Clan is in the wrong... If the Clan is too set in their old thinking, then NO ONE will EVER see beyond what is actually there for the good of their future. They must ADMIT their mistakes, their wrong. Assumptions, hatred, and fear towards the unknown is such foolishness! Because your BELOVED Clan cannot empathize, cannot admit, cannot accept, it puts limits to the potential they can all achieve." I spat to him. "You say that Rose is your priority? You say that it is the Clan's duty to protect her? How utterly ridiculous. When I first saw her, you know what I saw? A prison. A prison for a child. Do you sincerely believe that you are protecting her by placing her in a small room with dolls that are too heavy for a child to lift? Do you really believe that she can grow for the Clan in that kind of heaviness and in that kind of cold thinking? You assume that she would lead for the sake of the Clan, but if I was her, I would have purposely lead that kind of Clan to ruins. To utter destruction if it means to be free from that oppressive world. So tell me, oh so higher being of a person! What is your idea? WHAT IS YOUR OWN IDEA AND NOT THE CLAN'S?!"

Unaffected by my words, he stared at me. "Shall I tell you of your future?" When I did not respond, he continued. "You will lose in this match, which will lead to your downfall. To your death. Rose ojou-sama will return to her rightful position in the Clan and lead us all to victory."

"Shall I tell you of your future?" I activated my Yochigan. His figure was too dark of a blue and his eyes were too black. The balance between light and darkness was off. I stared at the imps that imposed on his body. "You will die soon, whether that is by me or by something or someone else." My eyes narrowed at him.

Yochigan showed the Nen within the body, because it is a variation of 'Gyo.' However, its main purpose was to inform me the state of the balance between light and darkness. From what I had gathered from the last 82 or 83 hours, I gathered that every person has a good balance between the two opposite energies. No one should have an imbalance of only having almost all darkness or all light. It just never made sense.

Furthermore, the blue color of the body gave me the state of the balance. Since his was too dark, he was leaning towards the darkness. That was further proved by the state of his eyes that were almost all black. Normally, they would have a soothing blue color to inform me that their state of balance was normal, no matter if they were evil or good in the eyes of society.

The reason why the streams and dots for Nen were white was because they were unrelated to the condition that I was looking for. Usually the black dots or pressure points would also appear on the figure, but for some reason, in his case, they disappeared. Instead, there were small imps all over him.

Now, if I were to use my great imagination and thought of a show with imps, then I would most likely think of InuYasha. That would mean if we connected the two together, then the imps would suggest death. Therefore, the only conclusion that I could come to would be that Yuu was dead, almost dead, or that he was destined to die soon. I could also conclude that because he was walking around, he was not a zombie and was thus alive as a human being.

Therefore, him being in a state of near death or having a fate of early death was deemed as the most plausible answers. Either way, his existence was associated with death at the moment, which brought my attention to a different aspect. If I had Tenseiga's power of slaying the dead and bringing the dead back alive, then was it possible for me to do the same? But in my case, it would be slaying those imps and eliminating the possibility of him dying... However, that would be improbable because bringing the dead back alive was not allowed in any dimension, unless I could set some kind of condition or vow, that would possibly make it work.

"That is a future that will not occur." His voice was firm as he picked up his mask and turned his heel to walk away from me.

"That is a lie." He stopped at my words. "Every human. Every living thing is destined to die one day. It is a possibility that we live with every day, whether we realize that or not."

"I will live, lower. Back down. You are nothing but the trash that deludes herself into thinking that you are equal to me." Yuu slipped his mask on and finally walked away.

I remembered how Yuu's layered black hair glow with a warm burgundy color in the sunlight and how his eyes radiated with a glimmering forest green shade. His smile was sweet, joyful, and loving towards Alice and I.

Alice...

I smiled wistfully to myself with my tears all dried with none to spare. I walked towards the tree and sat down. Hugging my knees against my chest, I nuzzled my face to hide from the world. To save myself from the misery, from the loss, from the frustration. How on earth was I going to do this now? I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, so I looked up and smiled.

* * *

Killua glared at the man who walked away from Kinra. When he noted that the man was now far away from the two of them, he strode towards her after picking up the golden pocket watch that the man had thrown away from her. She had her knees to her chest with her face hidden. When he placed his hand on her shoulder, she looked up and smiled with eyes that were too old, too tired to be of her age.

"Killua." Her voice was so hoarse that it made him wince. He sat down next to her and carefully removed one hand away from her knees. Lacing his fingers with hers, he watched her relax under his touch. "Thank you." Her whisper was so soft that he had to strain his ears to listen.

"You're welcome." There was a moment of silence before he decided to break it. "Are you tired?" When she timidly nodded, he squeezed his hand on hers. "Then I'll take you back to your room."

Kinra seemed to struggle and hesitate before asking him. "Stay with me? Please?"

"On one condition." He moved her hair behind her ear.

"What is it?"

"Shower and let me feed you before we sleep." His eyes flickered over the condition her body was in. Her skin was paler and her figure was thinner than before. Not to mention, her hair was tangled and dull in color, while it was clear that she did not get enough sleep for the past few days with the dark bags under her eyes and the lifelessness in her deep brown eyes. He traced over her lips with his finger, noting the blood and cracks on them.

"Okay." Killua smiled with relief at her answer. He let go of her hand and picked her up in order to carry her. Startled, she stared at him.

"It's the easiest way for me to take you back." He grinned at her and watched as her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.

"I can walk..." Kinra whispered, but he shook his head.

"Too late. Just enjoy the free ride." Dilemma poured into her eyes before nodding in agreement. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rest her head in the crane of his neck. "Killua."

"Yeah?" He began walking away from the hill.

"Do you have my pocket watch?"

"Yes. Now sleep. I'll wake you up when we reach your room." Her eyelids drooped until she finally closed them. Her small breaths touched his bare skin, which caused him to shiver. He stared down at her.

* * *

_"Do you like my sister?" Suou's words narrowed with determination. Startled by her bluntness, he just stared at her. "And I don't mean as a friend. Do you like her as a female? A girl. A woman, or whatever you guys think of. The opposite sex. The opposite gender-"_

* * *

"I still don't know...but... She is everything... Everything that I respect... Everything that I want and more." He smiled softly to himself before running off to the tower.

* * *

"Kinra." A strong voice reverberated. "Kinra, wake up. You need to shower now." I just wanted to continue sleeping for once. "Kinra, you promised me. Now wake up."

"Argh..." I groaned in frustration. When I opened my eyes grumpily, I found Killua laughing at me.

"Are you that sleepy?"

"Yes." I glared at him for laughing harder.

"Well go take a nice warm shower."

"Fine." I stood up and took a quick shower. Once I was done, I slipped into my fresh clean clothes and entered the room, where I smelled whiffs of food. "This smells good." I wiped my hair dry with a towel before placing it on a spare chair. Sitting down on the bed, Killua placed a tray on my lap and watched me eat it all with great satisfaction.

"How do you feel now?"

"Clean and full."

"Good. Now go to sleep." I waited for him to enter the bed with me, but he sat quietly on the chair.

"Killua...?" I spoke softly.

"What's wrong? Do you want some more water?" His light blue eyes glistened with worry.

My cheeks burned. "Ah, no... I just..." I bit my bottom lip. "Weren't you going to..." I felt my ears burn with embarrassment. Killua blinked in confusion until his eyes lit up in understanding.

"O-oh..." His cheeks flushed red. "Um, okay." He pulled the cover over us after entering the bed. Scooting over to him, I shyly looked up at him.

"If...if it's okay with you, can I hug you while I sleep?" I stammered. "I-I think I'll feel better that way... Whenever I felt down, Suou would always hug me to sleep and even before then, Alice did the same... I mean I understand if you don't want to as it is going past the boundaries, but if it's okay with you... I mean-" I felt his arms scoop me up and into his chest as if to quiet me. "Ah... Thank you." I nuzzled my face into his chest comfortably. A sudden loneliness overcame me like a wave that secretly crept up to me from behind. The room felt bigger than before, reminding me of how small I was in the world around me. As I closed my eyes, the darkness consumed and suffocated me, constricting any signs of life, but when Killua held me closer than before, the air around us changed into one of toasty comfort. I could almost hear a nostalgic voice calling out to me softly. My chest began to throb as if it echoed throughout the hollowness of this world.

"Kinra..." I heard him faintly call out to me, while my mind drifted away as if to protect myself from any harm. His arms soon cradled my head, enveloping me in a cocoon of warmth. "Sleep."

"Mm.." I murmured to him sleepily, wrapping my arms around him while holding onto him like he was my last lifeline. I let out a sigh of relief and smiled. I finally felt like a normal person again.

* * *

**Please R&amp;R! I'll be happy to see more reviews, favorites, or story alerts. Whatever floats your boat~~ :3 ****Those notifications give me the strength to keep writing! Anyways, t****he next chapter will ****be filled with a whole bunch of interactions between KiKi and won't be as dramatic or dark as this one. Look forward to it! Chapter 10 will be released tonight.**** :)**

**All of my readers, ****I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**EDIT1 (27 May 2015): I'm getting rid of the content from chapter 10 from before and putting in a combination of chapter 11, 12, and 13 in here. So please don't read ahead because then it won't make any sense. :) Thanks! Please review!**

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 10 as promised! This chapter shows more Gon, Zushi, and Suou. We can never have enough of their appearances in the story. :) There are also KiKi interactions! This chapter is going to be lighthearted. ****Anyways, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

* * *

Approximately 80 hours left until I have to fight against Yuu.

The morning sunlight spilled into the room, touching the both of us as we laid in the bed comfortably. I nuzzled my nose against the warmth. It was so warm and soft. A satisfied sigh escaped from my lips when my legs tangled with that warm something. My arms wrapped around a firm body. A body... A body? Why would there be a body in my room? Was it a corpse? A doll? No, that wasn't it. It was too warm to be either. Then was this a dream? That was a possibility. I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids felt too heavy.

"Sleep." It echoed in my ear as if it was on repeat.

"No..." I murmured to myself.

"No?" Amusement crept into the voice.

"Hmm..." I finally opened my eyes with great reluctance. Bright blue gazed down at me. Rubbing my eyes, a soft white tickled my skin and I giggled from the itch.

"Good morning, Kinra. How do you feel?" Killua's lips curled upwards as he watched me sit up and stretch.

"Good enough to train again. I only have three more days left to prepare." A fierce determined glint sparkled in my eyes, causing his smile to widen.

"Then go wash up and eat. After that, I'll leave you to your devices." He sat up as I grabbed my towel and washed my face before grabbing an apple from the basket on top of the table. "Good luck with your fight, Kinra. We can't go to cheer you on because Gon was forbidden to by Wing-san, but Zushi said that he would watch and record it for us."

"Thanks, Killua. And that's fine by me." I pushed him gently out of the door. "I'll be okay now. So go to Gon and Suou." He paused before looking at me one last time. "I'll see you later." He finally walked away into the hall. Once I could not see him from afar, I closed the door and stared at the sky from the window. Three more days. That's all I had left. To kill or to be killed. Those were my only choices left...or was it...?

* * *

I loosened the bandages around my arms and hands, letting it fall to the ground. Staring down at the hard floor in the locker room, I lifted my mask up and shifted my tinted glasses.

"MASKED FIGHTER!" The announcer called out my name with enthusiasm as I sat up and walked over to the battle arena with a golden key dangling from my bracelet on my left wrist.

It was time. Time to fight for my life.

My fight with Yuu.

I watched Yuu, standing from afar. His mask placed perfectly over his face and his cloak revealed not a single movement. "NOW THE FIGHT BETWEEN THE MASKED FIGHTER AND KITSUNE WILL BEGIN SOON! HERE ARE THE COMPETITORS!" I jumped onto the battle arena before smoothing out my cloak.

"LOOK AT THE FIGHTS FROM THE PAST FOR BOTH! FIRST IS THE MASKED FIGHTER! HE USES AIKIDO AND PRESSURE POINTS TO SUBDUE HIS OPPONENTS! WILL HE BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME WITH KITSUNE?" I never moved my gaze away from him. Even though the battle did not officially begin, to the two of us, it had already started. A tense air grew thicker between us as it filled the entire stadium. The audience stiffened with discomfort.

"HERE IS KITSUNE! EVERYONE'S FAVORITE! COULD IT BE ALCHEMY? COULD IT BE MAGIC? EITHER WAY, HIS BEAUTIFUL ATTACKS ATTRACT THOSE FROM AROUND THE WORLD! WILL HE WIN THIS FIGHT?" No one spoke a single word. The air was heavy with death and ill intentions. There was not a single cheer, not a single noise, and not a single smile. A chill went down the announcer's back. We walked towards the center and stopped.

The judge approached before yelling out, "Ready... START!" He jumped out of the ring immediately, sensing extreme danger from us.

"Shall I tell you of your future?" His voice echoed throughout the stadium. No one dared to breathe in fear of angering the two fighters.

"Shall I tell you of your future?" I repeated with narrowed eyes. "Your future is..."

"Death." He completed. Dashing towards me, he lifted his hand to slam it against my face. Taking a step forward, I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the ground as I whirled around. He took a huge jump to the side, breaking my intended attack. I slipped to the ground and rolled away before he slammed his hand on where I was. The strength of his Nen cracked the ground subtly from his hand, forcing me to wince at the force that hit me to the side. I coughed and stood up. "Weak." That was all he muttered before I lifted my right hand into the air.

I activated Yochigan. "Come to me, Yami." The small key glowed an immense golden light, awing the audience as a long black katana materialized into my raised hand. "Hikari." The glow grew stronger when a small white dagger materialized in my left hand. During this, Yuu chanted to himself. For him, a dark whip formed into his hand. "Before was a warm-up. Now... We will truly fight." I called out to him. As he snapped his wrists, causing the whip to slash at the ground with a flinch-worthy sound, an energy sparked with danger at the tip. I watched him stride towards me casually. One chance. That was all I needed. When he was close enough, I threw a dagger to his eyes and ran in front of him with my katana ready. He turned his head to dodge and with a flick of his wrist, I felt something wrap around my foot. Before I had time to think, I slammed against the wall. Without allowing myself to regain control, I jumped off of the wall towards him with my katana. Again, he flicked his wrist, which manipulated the whip to wrap around my katana. Before he could throw me to the other side of the stadium, I let go of my katana and flew right into him. Without processing what was going on, I threw punches and kicks at him as he defended himself. Materializing another dagger, I flicked it into his cloak, so that it stuck onto the ground. The sudden change in direction caused him to slip to the ground. Throwing several other daggers into his cloak to keep him down, I quickly punched his mask, breaking it into several pieces, and connected with his nose. Blood spurted out from his nose when I felt a sudden painful shock on the foot that had been touched by the whip. The pain exponentially increased as I screamed and fell to the ground. Dragging myself, hot tears poured out of my eyes when I bit my bottom lip in an attempt to stop myself from screaming. I materialized another katana and stood in front of him. It was then when he managed to hit my back with his whip. I spat out blood but I stood my ground. My mask had somehow slipped off during the scuffle and my glasses broke during the first hit from Yuu, revealing to the entire world of my appearance. I raised my katana, ready to slash him down.

"If I am family, then you can do nothing to harm me!" He laughed out loud as if daring me to harm his body.

My eyes darkened considerably. "You are no family of mine. You are nothing." I stabbed my katana through his shoulder and into the ground. The sound of his bone cracking echoed throughout the stadium arena and the blood that squirted out stained the blackness of my katana. "But... I will change you into who you once were... Yuu..."

"Do you really believe you can do that? Even if you were able to, DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT HE WILL STAY THE SAME AS BEFORE?!" A shrill unfamiliar voice cackled from him. "You can save no one, lower. You are mere pawn. A PAWN FOR THE GAME! And the sooner you realize that, the better off you will be!"

"Do you sincerely believe that Alice would be happy for what you are doing right now?" Pity reflected off of my eyes.

"YOU KNOW NOTHING OF HER! It's all because of YOU that she died. It's all your fault, your fault! I will listen to the Clan. I will not make the same mistake because of YOU! I will KILL YOU! GET MY REVENGE! FOR I WILL BE THE ONE TO RESTORE ALICE'S HONOR!" His eyes that were empty before filled with regret, longing, and anger.

"Because of me..." I repeated his words. I watched his face squirm into that of blind rage. My heart squirmed uncomfortably under his scrutiny. My fists tremble at my side. "As I thought... I'll always be the scapegoat. For that Clan." I laughed out loud painfully and hollowly. "They will never admit, never accept that they can make a mistake. It's always the Outsider. Pinning everything on the child so that they can't lose a thing that they consider to be of worth." Looking down at him, I pushed the katana further into the ground. "I suppose it's partially my fault for never trying...never fighting back for the freedom I wanted so badly. But even if I wanted to...even if I desired it the most... Because of that person... Because of Alice's grandfather... Because of ALL the Elders... Because of the foolish adults, the arrogant children, the selfishness of the Clan members... I am stripped of my greatest freedom, my ability to choose!"

My foot held him down onto the ground with the katana stuck in its place. "Even now, I have no choice but to follow the orders of the one who brought me here to this world!" My firm voice reverberated through the air. "Protect the heiress! Raise the heiress! Kill that person! Save the Clan from peril! Do this, do that! Harping at me like an animal, like a master! Do more, do it all until you live no longer! Do it unless you wish to die at the hands of the other Outsider! DO IT ALL NOW!"

I clenched my fists in anger, ignoring the spasms of pain that throbbed throughout my body. "Because of that foolishness! Because of that inability to empathize! Because of the narrow-minded ways of the Clan! No one will change for the better. NO FUTURE WILL MOVE ON FOR THE BETTER! STAYING AT A STANDSTILL UNTIL ALL ARE DEAD! The children! The women! The men! The old! The disabled! All would perish until not one remain alive. So tell me, Yuu! What was I supposed to do back then?! WHAT WAS I TO DO TO REGAIN MY FREEDOM?! MY LIFE?!" I huffed in agitation. "Shall I tell you of my answer? Shall I show you my answer?"

He stared at me with disbelief and fear. "You said that I cannot save anyone and that I am a mere pawn. Well I will not deny that I am a pawn and that I am a sacrifice. Because I am... But... I know that I can save you. I know that I can save the rest of that cursed Clan. And I will DIE trying to fulfill that mission! If I am not allowed my freedom, if I am not allowed to be happy, then I will fulfill ALL requests by that Clan until they have none left for me to complete. Because by then, I will know of a way to fight for my freedom, to survive by myself, to live for myself, and to bring down anyone that gets in the way of my future! No one...NOT EVEN YOU...can stop me from forging my own path!"

I disintegrated the katana that held him down before pulling him up. Placing my left hand on the crown of his head, a soft golden glow emerged from the key. "Emerge from your place, Golden Apple!" Yuu's eyes closed as his body came to a complete still. I pulled out a rotten black apple from the top of his head and placed it in my hand. Grimacing at the state of the usual glowing golden apple, I summoned the key from the bracelet into my right hand. It enlarged into its regular size as I watched a small keyhole form in the flesh of the apple.

"Unlock." I placed the key into the hole and turned until I heard a small click. Disintegrating my key and reappearing as the small golden key from my bracelet, I pushed the apple into his heart. Before he had time to process on what just occurred, I summoned my katana and stabbed him again in the same shoulder to the ground, controlling the darkness to manifest out of him, until he had only half of it left, and formed it into a doppelganger of himself. Instead of having the same physical characteristics as him, the doppelganger was just a black form with red eyes. Disintegrating the katana that held Yuu down, I summoned a dagger and placed it carefully onto his skin as I watched my own light enter him to fill up the empty space that it left behind. The more my light entered him, the more darker the small key on my bracelet became. Once I saw his figure become the normal blue that it should have been, I sighed with relief. Hearing the crack of the whip from behind me, I kicked the unconscious Yuu away before jumping up into the air to dodge the attack. The doppelganger had somehow created the whip that Yuu had before.

Once I landed on the ground, I examined the black form carefully at a safe distance. I had never seen such a thing before. Could I even touch it? I summoned my katana before dashing forward in an attempt to see if I could cause it any harm. When I stabbed it, it howled in pain and grabbed the katana to stop me from moving. Without any time to process anything, the hit of the whip slashed at me from behind. It grabbed my foot, causing me to lose my balance, and the doppelganger concentrated on whipping me continuously with unbearable amounts of pain. After each hit, the aftereffects of the areas hit by the whip was shocked with overwhelming force. It felt like something tore at my skin over and over again. A scream ripped out from me as it stabbed through me multiple times. I finally managed to grab the whip from the end and never let go. So it decided to throw me across the stadium and onto the ground, attempting to release my hold on the whip. Even as my hands felt torn and numb, I began pulling myself closer to the hold of the whip and towards the black form. It roared in disgust and slammed me down on the ground with the whip harder than before. I spat out more blood and felt it trickling down my forehead. Feeling lightheaded, I shut my eyes before opening them again in determination. When I was close enough, I screamed in a last ditch effort as I threw the newly manifested katana through the doppelganger's head.

There was silence.

I slumped on my knees as I watched the black form disintegrate into thin air. My katana fell to the ground, fading away when I willed it to disappear. It was over. It was done. I shakily stood up and placed my fingers on Yuu's hair before willing the Golden Apple to reappear. When it appeared, it was a beautiful and enticing golden apple that glowed with ethereal warmth. Droplets of tears touched the skin of the divine fruit as I used my key to lock it. Once I placed it back in him, I stood up and walked away from him.

When I turned towards the judge, I noticed the unusual calm look in his eyes as if he had expected this. Now that I thought about it, I never heard a single count or hit from him, nor did he follow the rules of how they usually judged. Somehow, there was something immensely wrong with this situation.

As the man walked up to me, he yelled out, "WINNER: THE MASKED FIGHTER!" When he was close enough, the judge sneered at me. "Too bad that you didn't die." I froze in place.

"You..." Before I completed my sentence, he began to fade away into thin air.

His voice echoed in a mocking tone. "It truly is a shame... Well, that is fine by me... Your freedom... Your life... They will all be mine to take, Outsider." Yells of confusion filled my ears as the audience pointed at where the judge, who disappeared completely, had last stood. My fists shook in anger as I screamed in utter frustration until I had no strength left to perform such an action.

When I felt myself fall to the ground, I watched as the dark key returned to its golden color and as my blood pooled from beneath me. Ah... I really was screwed. My eyelids felt heavy when I heard paramedics yelling at me to stay awake. At the corner of my eye, I saw them carry Yuu away. I guess all things end well to a certain extent. So tired... So sleepy... A murmur of a nostalgic tune... Reminding me of my duty... Reminding me of the pain... Reminding me of everything that I did not want to remember or think about...

I stared at Yuu again from afar. His layered black hair now glowed a hauntingly beautiful color of burgundy, but what really caught my attention for a mere second were the grinning imps imposed on his body

Dammit all... I guess I still had things to do... Stupid imps...

I finally blacked out with a frown at the thought of how I was supposed to deal with those grinning imps. It almost made me wonder why I couldn't bother fainting faster, but alas, it just was not meant to be.

* * *

I groggily opened my eyes and felt an intense gaze. In the next second, there was panic all around me. Someone asked me if I could hear them. I nodded and continued to nod for every question that person asked me. When I asked them quietly of my current location, they answered that I was in the hospital. What really shocked me was what they told me next. "You were in a coma for almost two months with no signs of waking up." I gaped at the nurse when they finally walked away after determining that I was completely okay.

"Kin-chan?" A familiar timid and soft voice called out to me.

"Yuu?" I sat up and looked around the room. Beside me, Yuu gazed at me as if he was dreaming with his familiar glimmering forest green eyes. "Are you my Yuu?" I asked, scared of his answer.

Heartbroken at my fear but understanding why I acted like that, he smiled reassuringly to me. "It is. The one who is your family. Your friend. Your teacher. The one who gave you the pocket watch. The one who adored and loved Alice. They are all me. So yes, it is I." He hesitantly pat my head gently and delicately. "I feel ashamed to see you right now. I ended up falling into their trap and now I even hurt you. I don't deserve to be free like this."

"Don't say that... I'm glad that at least you're alive... It gives me hope for the future." I coughed from the lack use of my throat. He handed me a cup of water that I accepted gratefully.

His eyes were downcast with shame. "I understand if you don't want to forgive me and I'll also understand if you want me to leave-"

"Stop. I don't need any of that." I sighed to myself. "Close your eyes for me and don't open them until I say so. Once I do this, I'll forgive you or whatever you needed." He gazed at me questioningly before closing them. After I activated Yochigan, I summoned my dagger and glared at the laughing imps. Swiping through them all in one go, I watched them disappear into thin air. Satisfied with my work, I deactivated Yochigan and willed my dagger to disappear. "You can open them now."

He looked around him in wonder. "What did you do? I felt a breeze, but that was it..."

"Well... I'm not too sure... I think I might have changed your fate..." I grinned at him sheepishly.

"My fate?"

"In dying soon... But I really don't know if I'm right though."

"I see..." A silence overcame us.

"So... What happened, Yuu? What's the condition of the Clan?"

He hesitated before answering. "After Alice was captured by the elites, I tried to save her, but they killed her right in front of me..." His eyes glazed over with mist. "So I knew that I had to leave. Before I could get far enough, they captured and tortured me. I... I can't really remember the details but after I gave them false information about your whereabouts, they realized that I had lied to them and placed me in an isolation chamber. Needless to say, that weakened my mentality greatly. I think I almost went insane in there." He faced the ground with shame. "I knew that I wanted to die, but they did something to me that forced me to not be able to kill myself. After that, they made that person, the one who controlled everyone else, to manipulate me into their control... And you know the rest..." He grimaced.

"I... I see... So it really wasn't a lie when you said that Alice died... I really hoped..." My hands covered my face. "I really hoped that maybe it wasn't the full truth...and that there was some hope of her actually being alive...and that she was only pretending that she died. What foolish hope I had..." I pulled him into a tight embrace. Tears trailed down my cheeks. "I'm sorry, Yuu... I made you suffer... I wish I was able to take you or Alice with me... Then maybe..."

He shook his head furiously. "No. Don't say that. Alice knew what she was getting into. I also knew of that horrible possibility. We were the ones who forced you into this... Making you suffer more than before. We took everything from you. And because of how we summoned you, you're not allowed to go against our orders or to stop yourself from completing the missions. Kinra, everything you said from before was right. Never doubt yourself in regards to that." His eyes flickered with determination.

"Yuu..." I pulled away from him. "That might be true... It might be true, but... I don't hate you or Alice. I don't hate the two of you... I don't hate that girl who was trained to kill me if necessary. Your Clan might have taken everything from me, but at least, you both gave me Rose. And I'm no longer alone with just her. I now have Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio as well. So I'm not alone anymore. And now that you're back. I also have you too. If completing the mission is all it will take to save everyone, then I'll do it, even if I have to pretend that it is of my own will."

Yuu smiled wistfully at me. "If Alice heard that, she would have cried with happiness and hugged you so tight that you would try to escape from her."

"Yeah... I probably would have... She probably would have..." I gave him another hug. "Yuu. Do not blame yourself." He became stiff at my words and that was when I knew that he was trying to hold back his tears. When I pulled away again, I took out the golden pocket watch from my cloak and handed it back to him. "You can give that back to me when I finish my mission."

"Alright." He stuffed it in his pocket before watching me with curiosity.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He suddenly looked unusually mischievously.

"Well, ever since you were hospitalized, I realized that a certain boy visited you every day. A little more than your other regular visitors." I raised my eyebrow at that.

"Who is it?"

"Well, he has white hair and blue eyes. Somewhat thin and is quite a fighter apparently. Oh yeah! He has a match today! I'll show you on TV!" He grabbed the remote quite excitedly as he turned it on. "THERE! That boy!" On the screen, Killua stood tall on top of the newly renovated battlegrounds with no opponent.

The announcer screamed with enthusiasm. "It seems like the opponent has run away! Killua wins the battle by default!" He threw his hat in the air as if to bask in the glory.

"Oh. You mean Killua." I blankly looked at Yuu. "And?" His grin widened.

"Does my adorable Kinra have a love interest already? Ah... I have gotten so old." He dramatically fell to the ground in sadness. I shook my head at his antics with a smile. He then looked up at me with a strange determination. "Since Alice is no longer alive, I suppose I should take on the duty to tell you about the birds and bees."

"Wait. What?! I already know about that kind of stuff! You don't need to have the talk with me!" I grimaced and buried my head into my pillow.

"It is my duty as a parent to make sure you understand what to do. Remember. Make sure to use protection."

"NOOO! I'M STILL A CHILD. LALALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" I rubbed my ears with my hands, attempting to drown out his lecture.

"Do you think I should tell that Killua to stay away from you or that if he makes you cry, he'll have to deal with me?" He contemplated to himself out loud. I gaped at him with horror.

I weakly begged. "Please don't." He laughed at my misery.

"Fine... Then, can you at least tell me what you think of him?" Yuu asked curiously.

To me... To me, Killua is my support and I am his. While I journeyed with them, I realized just how important he was in my life. Perhaps I was stretching this too far, but if one of us were to disappear, then the two of us would feel as though something big was missing in our lives. Maybe for Killua, he would be okay because of Gon, but I knew that the same could not be said for me. However, there was one thing I was sure about. If one of us were to die, I would rather have it be me and not him. Although, ironically, I did not want to die at the same time. Death was scary. In fact, dying was scary, but what was scarier than death itself was being forgotten by my loved ones. That is why I would rather die because at least, they would still remember me after my death.

I finally answered his question. "I... To me... Killua is special... Ever since I met him... He was different... I felt a connection... For once in this life, I was comfortable enough with someone to the point where I wouldn't mind if I had to die in order to save him..." Not by the Clan's will. Not by anyone else's, but my own. I knew that Yuu understood the underlying meaning of my words because his eyes softened as he nodded to me.

"Well, I need to go now."

"Already?" I tried to hide my disappointment.

"I'm still being traced. It would be dangerous if I continued to stay longer than two months. And..." His forest green eyes darkened. "I have something I need to do at all costs."

"Okay. Be careful. I do want to see you again." I grabbed onto his sleeve. "Promise me."

"I promise." Yuu softly whispered to me.

* * *

The door to my private room slid open. I turned my head to see and smiled. "Killua." He stared at me with shock.

"Kinra...?" He walked towards me slowly as if afraid that he was dreaming. "You're... You're awake."

"I saw you on TV earlier. Nice throw. Your hat, I mean." I watched him gape at me, unable to decide how he should feel. Finally, his fingers grazed against my skin and twirled the locks of my hair.

I reached out for me as he willingly pulled me into a tight embrace. "Welcome back, Kinra." He whispered in my ear.

"I'm back, Killua." I smiled as I nuzzled my face into his shoulder.

"Killua! You can't just leave us like that!" Suou's irritation reflected off of her voice as several footsteps entered the room. Killua stiffened as if he was caught doing something bad.

"O-Onee-chan?!" I let go of him and smiled at Suou. Tears quickly gathered at the corner of her emerald green eyes. She dashed into my arms and hugged me as if I was about to disappear.

"I'm sorry I took so long to wake up."

"Y-you were in a c-coma a-a-and... I th-thought you were g-going to leave me all alone!" She sobbed as she tried to explain her loneliness.

I pat her head affectionately. "You're my adorable little sister. I can't leave you until you're ready to stand by yourself."

"D-don't ever scare me like that ever again!" Suou scolded me as I laughed joyously in her presence. "Promise me that you'll never leave me again!"

I winced. "I can't promise that. What I can tell you is that I'll do my best. Always."

"Okay." She spoke softly. I noticed that Zushi stood next to Gon uncomfortably.

It reminded me of what Killua told me before. "So did you watch my fight with Kitsune? Didn't you say that Zushi recorded it for you guys?" I looked at Killua for confirmation.

A frown appeared on his face. "Well... He did, but he wouldn't show it to us for some reason. He said that he would only show it to us if you were to watch it with us. Something about privacy."

"I see..." I turned to Zushi. "Can we see it?" The moment I said that, he looked very relieved.

"Osu! I will bring it to this room right away! I will be back right away!" He dashed off before I could say anything else.

"So what did the doctor say?" Gon asked me with a relieved grin.

"She told me that I only needed to stay for a couple of days and complete a few days worth of therapy. After that, I'm free to go. She said that it was quite a miracle for this to happen, but I'm not complaining. As long as I get to leave the hospital, I'm all good." I paused before turning to them. "So why was Zushi so nervous earlier?"

They looked at each other before Killua began to talk. "After your battle, Zushi informed us of your hospitalization, but we did not know how bad it was until they finally allowed visitors. By that time, Gon had fulfilled his promise with Wing-san, so we asked him to show us the recorded battle to see why you were so badly injured, but he refused. And he didn't budge at all, so we couldn't get it from him. There was something about your battle that shook him for some reason. When we asked him why he would not show it to us, he started talking about your privacy and that he should not show it to anyone without your vocal permission. He said that he felt as if he was intruding on a very dangerous matter, which is why he decided to be stubborn about it."

I stayed silent for a little bit. "I'm glad that he did that." They looked up at me, startled.

Killua's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by tha-"

"OSU! I'm back!" Zushi entered the room with the DVD in his hand. "I shall turn it on immediately. Would you like the remote control, Kinra-san?"

"Yes. Thank you." I smiled softly at him. "I'm grateful that you kept it to yourself. It must have been tough. So thank you." He blushed with embarrassment.

"It is nothing." As he fiddled with the buttons, he turned towards me as he handed me the remote. "It is merely an obvious thing to do for a matter such as this."

"Well then... Shall we begin?" I motioned for Gon to turn off the lights in the room and grabbed Killua's hand.

"Killua." I whispered to him. He turned to me with disappointment reflecting off of his eyes. I knew that he was frustrated that I was fine with Zushi not revealing my battle to him, since he wanted to know why I was so badly injured.

"Killua, I would rather show this to you and everyone else when I am awake than have you all judge me based on what you see and hear in that battle when I am not awake. I will not ask you or anyone else in this room to understand my actions, my words, and my relationship with Kitsune. But...do know that my anger is not directed to ANYONE in this room nor was it directed to Kitsune himself as a person, but towards the people behind him. Kitsune... No... Yuu did nothing wrong." I pulled my hand away from his, but he linked his hand with mine again. When I looked up at him, he nodded in understanding. My lips pulled into a relieved smile.

"Yuu?" Suou sat down next to me, recognizing the name.

"You met him before we left, remember?" Her eyes lit up as she remembered who he was.

"Oh! That person. Okay. So he is Kitsune? The one you fought?" I nodded in affirmation as I fiddled with the remote. I soon moved over, so that Killua could sit down on my bed with Suou on the other side. Zushi and Gon quickly took their seat on the chairs.

* * *

_At the beginning of the video, the announcer called out our names and introduced us to the crowd. Strangely, it was extremely quiet as we immediately walked to the center of the arena._

* * *

"I still remember... It was so tense and suffocating to be in there... I felt like if I made a single sound, it would cause destruction. It was so uncomfortable..." Zushi shivered before continuing to watch.

* * *

_The judge approached before yelling out, "Ready... START!" He jumped out of the ring immediately._

_"Shall I tell you of your future?" His voice echoed throughout the stadium. _

_"Shall I tell you of your future?" I repeated with narrowed eyes. "Your future is..."_

_"Death." He dashed towards me and lifted his hand to slam it against my face, causing me to counter with imbalance, but he managed to counter that immediately. Once that small scuffle ended, I stood up with my right hand in the air. My eyes glowed a sky blue color when I activated Yochigan._

_"Come to me, Yami." My voice reverberated throughout the stadium. When the small key around my wrist glowed an immense golden light, a long black katana formed into my right hand._

_"Hikari." In my other hand, a dagger materialized with the light shining brighter than before, while Yuu summoned a whip. Once the light faded away, I glared at him. "Before was a warm-up. Now... We will truly fight." His whip cracked in response._

_After I was thrown into the wall, my mask slipped off and my glasses remained broken on the ground. I used every method I could think of to try to keep him down, attempting to ignore the pain that went through my body._

* * *

I flinched when I heard myself scream in the video from the pain that the whip caused. Killua squeezed my hand, comforting me of my memories of my injuries. When I stared at him, he looked at me with knowing eyes. My heart throbbed at the reminder of his past. I rest my head against his chest as I felt his head rest against my own.

* * *

_I raised my katana, ready to slash him down._

_"If I am family, then you can do nothing to harm me!" He laughed out loud maniacally._

_"You are no family of mine. You are nothing." I stabbed my katana through his shoulder and into the ground. The sound of his bone cracking echoed throughout the stadium arena and the blood that squirted out stained the blackness of my katana. "But... I will change you into who you once were... Yuu..."_

_"Do you really believe you can do that? Even if you were able to, DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT HE WILL STAY THE SAME AS BEFORE?!" A shrill unfamiliar voice cackled from him. "You can save no one, lower. You are mere pawn. A PAWN FOR THE GAME! And the sooner you realize that, the better off you will be!"_

* * *

Suou flinched at his words. She grabbed my free hand. "How can he say that..."

"Because he can." I merely stated. Everyone looked at me with surprise.

* * *

_"Do you sincerely believe that Alice would be happy for what you are doing right now?" I yelled at him._

_"YOU KNOW NOTHING OF HER! It's all because of YOU that she died. It's all your fault, your fault! I will listen to the Clan. I will not make the same mistake because of YOU! I will KILL YOU! GET MY REVENGE! FOR I WILL BE THE ONE TO RESTORE ALICE'S HONOR!" He screamed in anger._

* * *

"The...Clan...?" She turned to me with confusion in her eyes.

* * *

_"Because of me..." I repeated his words as his face turned into one of blind rage. My fists shook visibly by my side. "As I thought... I'll always be the scapegoat. For that Clan." I laughed out loud painfully and hollowly._

* * *

She fidgeted uncomfortably at my words. "Onee-chan...?" She whispered out to me. I squeezed my grip on her hand.

* * *

_"They will never admit, never accept that they can make a mistake. It's always the Outsider. Pinning everything on the child so that they can't lose a thing that they consider to be of worth." Looking down at him, I pushed the katana further into the ground. "I suppose it's partially my fault for never trying...never fighting back for the freedom I wanted so badly. But even if I wanted to...even if I desired it the most... Because of that person... Because of Alice's grandfather... Because of ALL the Elders... Because of the foolish adults, the arrogant children, the selfishness of the Clan members... I am stripped of my greatest freedom, my ability to choose!"_

* * *

"Onee-chan... What on earth..." Suou shook at the intensity of my frustration, anger, and hatred. I closed my eyes in response as I listened to the rest of what I had yelled out to the world.

* * *

_My foot held him down onto the ground with the katana stuck in its place. "Even now, I have no choice but to follow the orders of the one who brought me here to this world!" My firm voice reverberated through the air._

* * *

Killua's eyes widened at my words. "What do you mean by having no choice-"

I suddenly shook my head. "Not yet."

* * *

_"Protect the heiress! Raise the heiress! Kill that person! Save the Clan from peril! Do this, do that! Harping at me like an animal, like a master! Do more, do it all until you live no longer! Do it unless you wish to die at the hands of the other Outsider! DO IT ALL NOW!"_

* * *

"Onee-chan?" I heard hurt in Suou's voice. "Onee-chan, what is going on? What are you talking about in there?"

"Keep watching it." I muttered.

* * *

_"Because of that foolishness! Because of that inability to empathize! Because of the narrow-minded ways of the Clan! No one will change for the better. NO FUTURE WILL MOVE ON FOR THE BETTER! STAYING AT A STANDSTILL UNTIL ALL ARE DEAD! The children! The women! The men! The old! The disabled! All would perish until not one remain alive. So tell me, Yuu! What was I supposed to do back then?! WHAT WAS I TO DO TO REGAIN MY FREEDOM?! MY LIFE?!" My voice suddenly was firm and quiet. "Shall I tell you of my answer? Shall I show you my answer?"_

* * *

Suou was now stiff with her eyes never moving away from the screen as if captured by my words.

* * *

_"You said that I cannot save anyone and that I am a mere pawn. Well I will not deny that I am a pawn and that I am a sacrifice. Because I am... But... I know that I can save you. I know that I can save the rest of that cursed Clan. And I will DIE trying to fulfill that mission! If I am not allowed my freedom, if I am not allowed to be happy, then I will fulfill ALL requests by that Clan until they have none left for me to complete. Because by then, I will know of a way to fight for my freedom, to survive by myself, to live for myself, and to bring down anyone that gets in the way of my future! No one...NOT EVEN YOU...can stop me from forging my own path!"_

* * *

"Why are you calling yourself that..." Her voice strained as if it was hard to breathe.

"Because I am..." I whispered to myself.

* * *

_After I released the katana that held him down, I took out the Golden Apple and unlocked it with my golden key. Immediately, I pushed it into his heart and stabbed him in the same shoulder injury with my katana to keep in place. A dark form appeared next to Yuu as I controlled the state of his balance. It formed the whip carefully as it walked around me. When I kicked the unconscious Yuu away, I tried to attack it with my katana. Although I had damaged it by slashing at it, it was not enough. In fact, that induced it into a fit of anger as it slashed at me with its whip. I stubbornly held on its whip and finally threw a katana through its head. When it disappeared into thin air, I stood up and walked over to Yuu. Once I had locked the Golden Apple and returned it to him, the judge declared me the winner before disappearing into thin air. There was panic throughout the stadium as I screamed in frustration before falling to the ground, bleeding profusely._

* * *

"Well that's the end of the video." Zushi stood up and retrieved the DVD from the TV.

"Thank you, Zushi."

"It is not a problem. I will go back and return this to where it was before. Good night, everyone!" He waved at them all before exiting the room. There was a heavy silence.

"I cannot tell you anything in regards to my mission, but I can tell you that I was appointed as Suou's guardian. Despite that, I do see her as my adorable little sister and even though we are not blood-related, we share memories together that I think should deem us as being family. Suou already knows about my appointment as her guardian and the fact that we are not blood-related." Suou silently nodded in confirmation.

I continued. "The Clan was cruel to me when I lived there, except for two. Yuu, who was Kitsune, and Alice took care of me like parents. They taught me, protected me, and trained me to become stronger. Sadly, we had to separate and I ended up going on a journey with Suou."

"You're not a pawn... You're not a sacrifice! I won't allow it!" Suou clenched her teeth in frustration.

"It is not of your desire, Suou. I know this is frustrating for you but because of my circumstances, I am unable to go against their true wishes. As long as I can protect you and Yuu, then I don't mind completing these missions, so please don't be sad for me. I would rather see you smile." I hugged her in an effort to calm her down.

"Kinra..." Killua called out to me with uncertainty.

"I'm okay... I accepted it a long time ago." I smiled at him sadly. He lightly embraced me as if to comfort me or soothe me of my worries.

Gon looked at me with determination. "If you ever need our help, you know that we would always help you."

"Yes and I am thankful for that. Thank you." I nodded gratefully towards him. "However, when it comes to the matters of the Clan, I wish to not accept your help as it is a Clan matter and not an Outsider matter. Although Suou could help, I refuse to do so because that would be too risky with...with Alice dead and Yuu on the run. But... I will always keep that in mind."

"Onee-chan..." Suou guiltily stared at me.

"Suou."

"Yes?"

"You know that I love you, right?" Her eyes widened before droplets of tears unwillingly dripped down.

"Y-yes." She hugged me tightly after Killua released me from his hold. "And you know that I love you too, right?"

"Of course I do. You're my adorable little sister after all." I pat her head gently. "Well you guys should head back to your rooms. It's almost time for the visiting hours to be over."

"I'll help you with your therapy tomorrow, Onee-chan!" Her eyes glittered at the aspect.

I shook my head. "I'm okay. You guys need to finish training with Wing-san, right? Focus on that. Once you guys 'graduate,' then I'll let you guys help me with my therapy." They all nodded in agreement begrudgingly. "Good night everyone." I called out to them as they exited the room.

"Good night, Kinra." They chorused together.

* * *

After my last therapy session, I put on my cloak and new clothes before slipping into my shoes. Grabbing my bag, I headed for Wing-san's house.

Once I entered the first room, I heard a combination of voices. "OSU!" It was Gon, Killua, and Suou. When I opened the door, Wing-san congratulated them for completing their basic training in Nen.

After I greeted Zushi, he turned to me. "Ah, it's nice of you to join us, Kinra-san. Are you feeling better?"

I bowed to him with respect. "Good afternoon, Wing-san. Thank you for asking. I am feeling much better than before. After all, I did finish my final therapy session today. According to the doctor, all I need to do now is to not strain myself for a couple more days."

"I see. Well then. I suppose it is best if you don't force yourself too hard, since you did sleep for almost two months." He smiled as I nodded in affirmation.

"Indeed." I murmured, thinking to myself in complete silence. Immediately, I felt Killua's fingers trail over mine, lacing them together with our palms touching. Soon after, I saw the warm smile that graced his lips as he watched me with those strong light blue eyes that softened in intensity when my own lips curled upwards at the sight of him.

* * *

**Please R&amp;R! I'll be happy to see more reviews, favorites, or story alerts. Whatever floats your boat~~ :3 ****Those notifications give me the strength to keep writing! Hope you liked the moments between Killua and Kinra, along with the interactions between Suou, Zushi, and Gon! **

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**EDIT1 (28 May 2015): **

**WARNING: There will be torture scenes, which is why I had to rate this story to M. I will now tell you upfront that the romance will really start to brew when they are older. From now on, it's going to be entirely different from the original story I had up.**

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 11! As I told you in the previous chapter, I will most likely update chapter 12 tomorrow. This chapter will show Suou's fight against Kitsune! ****Anyways, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

'' **\- thoughts**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

* * *

_Her light gray blue eyes locked with mine, haunting with death. Her beginning, ruined because of me, stopped with her. Time never allowed her to move forward. The other Outsider. Midori, the child who is to kill me in the future. Blood seeped through her wounds that was obviously caused by the Clan. Was it rocks? Was it bricks? It didn't matter. We were the children of misery, the children of death, the children of darkness. But there was a difference. She had no one and I had Alice and Yuu. She was a half and I was a tainted. She was a true child and I was a fake child. The only similarities were the treatment received by the Clan and the status as the Outsider. _

_I strode towards her and stood still when I reached her. We both never looked away from each other. An understanding of intentions. A refusal of connection. Solitude was the solace we both desired. Without speaking, I placed the ointment bottle in front of her and watched her as she watched me. "Use it or leave it." The words then came out easily as if I never put any thought into them. I broke my gaze and walked away without ever looking back._

* * *

I rubbed my eyes, trying to understand my surroundings, when I realized that we were in Gon's house. I then remembered that we had arrived yesterday evening after riding a single boat and walking over the hills. Mito-san was very hospitable towards all of us, so after we ate dinner, I helped out with washing the dishes while the other three immediately set out for a quick journey in the forest. I had refused Gon's offer to go with them because I was tired from the short travel and needed rest. Thankfully, they understood and reassured me that they will bring back souvenirs of sorts. It was a little awkward to just be with Mito-san in the house with her grandmother, but we were more relaxed around each other after taking a bath together and after I drank tea at the table with them. Once it hit nightfall, I bade them good night before entering the makeshift bed. Exhaustion had taken over as I was immediately fast asleep. Yes. That was what happened over the last few hours when I was awake. Yawning, I sat up and noticed Suou curled up next to me. I fiddled with her hair and pulled the covers over her carefully. Leaving the house, I sat down on the grassy hill, looking up at the moon.

* * *

_I had finished training for the day and decided to take a walk by myself. As I strode across the village forest, a rustling within the bushes caught my attention. I continued to walk, pretending to not notice the presence behind me. When I reached the deepest parts of the forest, I stood still, waiting for them to appear. The rustling behind me grew louder. _

_I turned around with caution. "Who is it." The scrawny girl emerged from the bushes. Her light gray blue eyes flickered to me and leaves stuck out of her dark olive brown hair. _

_"Midori." I acknowledged her, nodding at her while I was at it. She nodded back. Although I was physically younger than her, she treated me as if we were the same age, which is why I chose to do the same. I saw her arms covered in cuts and scratches from the bushes. Pulling out an ointment bottle, I placed it on the ground in front of her. "Use it or leave it." Before I had the chance to walk away, she took the ointment bottle and grabbed my arm. Startled, I stared at her in surprise._

_"Your arm." It was the first time I heard her voice. Soft but firm. Rough but smooth. Uncertain but determined. I blinked before processing her words. I looked down at my arm and finally realized that it was bleeding profusely. I wondered why I did not feel the pain until now. Wincing, I grimaced at the sight. Midori then dragged me to a hidden stream of water. She proceeded to clean the wound and used the ointment that I gave her before bandaging it temporarily with my handkerchief._

_"Thank you." She nodded and began to walk away. I watched her figure disappear into the dark forest. Solitude, huh... I looked up at the bright blue sky. Was that really what we both wanted?_

* * *

I held the cloak around me as the wind blew harder. Would it be possible for us, the Outsiders, to become happy? "Would it be possible? For us to be happy? The Outsiders?" I asked out loud, not expecting an answer.

"No. It is not." A nostalgic voice replied. Soft but firm. Rough but smooth. That was the voice that answered my question.

"I see..." I looked down at the ground. "Are you here to take me, Midori?" When she did not answer, I stood up and faced her. "Or..." My eyes narrowed warningly. "Are you here to kill me?" I slipped off my cloak and threw it to the side. "Either way, it doesn't matter. We will both have to fight each other no matter what. Because... That is our inevitable fate."

"You will be judged by the Clan." She took out her dagger. "Therefore, I must bring you to them. Will you come with me quietly or will I have to force you?"

"I already gave you my answer." Her eyes closed as if hoping that was not my answer. I watched her with growing sadness. "You talk a lot more than you used to." I murmured to myself with a melancholic smile. "I wonder why we could not get to know each other better. Such a shame." I also closed my eyes as I felt the warm breeze.

"It is not of our fates to become friends."

"Indeed, but... One can always try. Becoming friends is never a bad thing. It can always bring together the most unexpected people and open a future that was not there before. I am always willing, but I guess at this point in time, it would be impossible between the two of us. After all, the moment I appeared, you were raised to become a weapon like me. In fact, I never understood why you did not hate me. Your job was to keep me in check after all. To make sure I never stepped beyond the boundaries."

A hollow chuckle erupted from her. "You were always very logical. Wiser than me, despite being younger. I found you fascinating, compared to the Clan members, who acted like children with nothing better to do."

"I suppose we both have the same opinion in regards to that." I paused before summoning my own dagger. "Do you think the Clan is correct in their ways? Do you think that they are doing the right thing?"

"I don't know and I don't care. I just follow orders and that's all I need to do." Her eyes darkened. "There is no need to think."

"You're wrong. Never judge a book by its cover. The Clan have their faults. And that is why you should never always follow orders that would cause destruction and cause the end of their future." I grimaced to myself. "Who knows if the Clan is really who they are right now."

"There is no need to question it." She approached me cautiously. "Now... Let us begin this fight." Midori ran without hesitation as she raised her dagger to slash down at me. I blocked with my own, realizing my strength was not as equal to hers as I had originally thought. Jumping backwards, I dashed forward to catch her off-guard with my dagger in both hands, prepared to kill her at the most apparent area. Before she could respond, I stood in front of her, pushed my dagger towards her as she clenched her teeth in preparation for the pain, but she quickly deflected my attack by raising her dagger against mine, causing it to fly away from my hands. Immediately, she kicked me in the stomach to provide distance between us. I rolled down the hill, not stopping until I hit a boulder.

"Augh." I spat out some spit, hacking and coughing, as I tried to regain my balance. Before I had time to process, I flew into the same boulder when she kicked me in the stomach once more. My vision blurred, shaking me from focusing appropriately. I felt her punches and kicks as I slammed into the boulder consecutively. My skin became sensitive towards even a single brush of anything. I grimaced as I watched her dark figure hover over me.

"Never judge a book by its cover, huh..." She mockingly repeated to me.

I smirked tiredly at her. "Indeed. I had underestimated you for sure..." It soon turned into a frown. "It is your win." I did not have the single energy to escape due to my lack of stamina, resulted from my previous big battle. "You definitely got me good..." I heard another voice enter our conversation.

"Good job, Midori. You will be rewarded greatly by the Clan." I felt huge hands grab my hair as they dragged me off the boulder. "You are our pride and joy."

"Thank you." Her voice echoed, lacking happiness and joy.

"Let us be off with her."

"Yes sir." I watched Gon's house on top of the hill as we entered a dark portal, sucking us in and leading us to the village, where I will be judged.

"Suou..." I weakly murmured to myself as I faded into black.

* * *

Suou opened her eyes after feeling a cold emptiness besides her. She sat up and looked around the room, expecting to see Kinra. "Onee-chan? Are you in here?" There was complete silence. Feeling somewhat uneasy, she trudged to Gon's room, where Killua and Gon were sleeping. Knocking quietly on their door, she heard footsteps and noises in the room.

"Suou-chan? Is something the matter?" Gon rubbed his eyes as Killua sat up from his bed with tired eyes.

"Um... Sorry, I woke you guys up..." She scanned the room, feeling disappointment, when she did not see her sister.

"Suou-chan?" Gon stared at her worriedly.

"You didn't happen to see Onee-chan...right?" When they shook their heads, she stiffened with worry.

"Was she not with you?" Killua asked. She immediately shook her head.

"We can always go check with Obaa-chan and Mito-san! She could be in their room for all we know!" Gon began running towards their room.

"But-"

"It's okay! I'll be right back! Killua, go check the bathroom, living room, and kitchen!" He disappeared quickly after turning the corner. Killua sighed as he stood up.

"Sorry." She whispered guiltily.

"It's fine. Sit right here and we'll be right back." He finally left.

Fiddling with her fingers, she looked out the window as if she inwardly knew that Kinra was no longer here. "Un. Thanks." After a few minutes, they came back running with concern.

"She wasn't anywhere within the house." Killua murmured.

"Maybe she's outside? We should go check!" Gon dragged both outside as he started to sniff with his nose.

"Geh. You're doing that weird thing again." Killua scrunched his nose as he watched him do that.

"Ah. I smell her scent. Over..." He walked. "Here..." Kinra's cloak laid forgotten on the grass. "I also smell two other unusual scents... I don't think they are coming from any of us though..." Uncertainty shined through his eyes.

"Is... Is that all?" Suou barely whispered as she gathered the cloak to herself and held it close to her face.

"I also...smell her scent down there...and..." He pointed down the hill. As he began to run, Killua and Suou followed after him. Gon stopped at a huge boulder. Fresh blood dripped down, staining the gray color. Suou took a sharp intake of breath.

"You smell her...around...No...on that blood...?" Her voice quivered, unable to believe what she is seeing and hearing. Gon kept quiet as he looked at the multiple stains of blood on the rock. Killua shivered when he looked at it carefully. He could see how she was hit and how she was injured. "Is... Is she dead...?" Suou buried her face into the cloak. Tears staining it as she tried to hold in her cries.

"I don't think she's dead yet." Killua whispered quietly to them. "By the bloodstain on the bottom, it means that she hit the rock as she rolled down the hill. And then by the several bloodstains at the top, she was slammed against it multiple times, but I think she's still alive." His heart ached, wishing Kinra was here with him, so that he could hold her hand again. He hoped inwardly that she was alive and that he would find her one day as they had no idea who or what did this to her. Suddenly, he feared that he would never see her again, never find out who took her, and never touch her warmth. His eyes widened at that aspect. To never watch her lips curl upwards into a bright grin, to never see her deep brown eyes sparkle and soften as they met his own, to never hear the amusement, the understanding, the affection in her voice with his own two ears, to never...to never feel her fingers wrap around his, to have their palms touch, to wrap his arms around her tightly, to smell the scent of her safe warmth. A cold emptiness crept into his heart as loneliness poured over him.

"Killua?" Gon called out to him.

"Yeah?"

"We're going back."

"Okay." He looked one last time at the boulder before walking away.

* * *

"Wake up." A harsh voice called out to me. I groaned as I felt the aching pain in the back of my head and in my stomach. I noticed then that only a tank top and shorts were on me. When I raised my head, a tall man with long dark burgundy hair and plain green eyes stared down at me. He flexed his arms as he watched me with a calculative gaze. When I tried to move, I found myself chained to an unmoving chair that was connected to the ground with my hands attached to the back of the chair. My feet were connected to the legs of where I sat. Complete dread pooled in my stomach as I turned towards the man again.

He smiled at me stiffly. "Shall we begin the first stage?" I flinched and prepared myself for the worst pain in my life. "Unless you wish to tell us where you hid the heiress."

"I...refuse..." I coughed out.

"Then we shall begin." He forced my mouth open, stuffing a cloth into it. Without allowing me to spit it out, he duct taped my mouth shut as I started to choke from the suddenness of the situation. He looked at me thoughtfully before kicking me in the stomach. I grunted due to the bruise that formed on my stomach from my fight with Midori but I held my ground. It was not as bad as I thought, but I realized how I could not defend myself with any Nen because of something that was forcing me into 'Zetsu.'

"Tell us where she is." I glared at him in response. His hand slammed against my cheek, leaving a flash of white burning force. The cloth immediately tingled the back of my throat. I immediately tried to throw up the cloth out of my mouth, but the duck tape held it in without budge. Tears sprung from the corner of my eyes. I tried hard to concentrate on breathing through my nose and staring at the door behind the interrogator.

One.

His kick smashed into my ribs, making the bruise on my stomach darken in color, and I gagged from crying out in pain. Crazy. White. Burn. It was too sensitive. Too fast. My head. It burned from everything around me.

Two.

My other cheek stung from his slap. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this!

Three.

He took out a small whip before cracking it down on my right shoulder.

Four.

It then slashed down on my left shoulder. Tears unwillingly dropped down from my eyes as I held in my screams to stop myself from gagging anymore. I shook and stared down at my lap. I was still okay. I can still do this.

Five.

I watched as his whip struck my lap. An angry red burn appeared as speckles of red began to form. My wet tears dripped down my legs.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

He continued to strike down on my lap with no rest. Every single time, it burned so much. Ripped at my skin like an angry fire. I saw flashes of white. Flashes and blurs of cold isolation. I shook my head furiously to stop the gagging reflex but to no avail, it did not help. Hot tears trailed down my cheeks, staining my bleeding legs. I wanted it out of my mouth. Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out of me! A muffled scream ripped out of me as he moved on to my arms. I struggled to get out of the chair, never stopping the scream. The scream for help.

Twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven.

Get me out of here. GET ME OUT OF HERE! STOP! My throat felt dry as if rubber had replaced my voice box when I shrieked out in pain. I violently shuddered when the tip of his whip gently hovered over the area of my faded skin that he had carefully and slowly destroyed. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Forty, forty one, forty two, forty three, forty four.

My skin no longer burned as needles and waves of pain shot through my nerves, through all the blood my lap gathered.

"Would you like to tell me where she is now?" I heard a blurred whisper in my ear as I never made a move to answer him. "Move your head if you wish to tell me. Don't move if you won't tell me." I still did not move. "I see. Then let us continue. We shall start stage two. But... Before that, let us blindfold you." I flinched when I felt my eyes being covered by a piece of cloth. "Shall we count the minutes now?"

Count? What did he mean by that? I breathed through my nose heavily until something covered my only source of air. I shook my head to get it off of me, but whatever was covering my nose did not budge at all. It stuck to my airway like a stubborn plug. Feeling desperate, more tears drenched the cloth around my eyes as I tried to release my hands, pulling them, shaking them. My muffled scream seemed more muffled than before and I felt so lightheaded. So nauseous. So dizzy. My wounds still stung as if it flaked from a burning fire.

One.

It was only one minute? Oh god please. Oh god, oh god, oh god. Please spare me. PLEASE!

I heard an unfamiliar whimper. Who was making that noise? Stop making that noise. STOP IT!

"It's you who is making that sound. Two." His voice echoed through my head. It was me? No, that can't be. I never make that kind of sound. Another whimper cried out and this time, I knew it was me. I felt it. It shivered through my throat like a bug that squirmed through a hole.

It was me. IT WAS ME.

A single touch from something cold seared my mind with white utter pain. Burns that ripped through my nerves.

"Would you like to tell me now?" I gagged as I shook my head furiously to him. I heard a small sigh and was about to give up on breathing when the sticky substance that blocked my airway disappeared. I breathed through my nose desperately as if the air around me was precious. I almost missed what he said next after he had pulled away the blindfold. "You will have a break where someone will treat your wounds." The man released the duct tape around my mouth and pulled out the drenched cloth as I coughed furiously, drained of all my energy.

* * *

"Gon, is she okay?" Mito-san asked. He shook his head.

"Kinra disappeared and we don't know if she's okay nor do we know where she is. That's why Suou is really distressed right now." He scrunched up his nose. Suou rustled through Kinra's bag that she had left behind before pausing at one certain paper.

"I... I think I found something important." She whispered to them. Mito-san led her to the table and poured her some warm tea as she gripped the old letter in her hands.

"What is it. Read it out loud for all of us." Killua said with hardness.

"Okay." She breathed in and out as everyone sat at the table, waiting for her to read. "Here I go."

* * *

_Dear Kinra,_

_I apologize for not explaining to you properly about what was going on with the Clan and why we even summoned you in the first place. Read this carefully until you have memorized it word to word._

_As you may know from before, the Clan was changing. We received recent information that someone betrayed the Clan rules. It was too much of a shock that Grandfather desperately searched for a way to make the best weapon from legends, alchemy, magic, and tricks. Among these stories, there was one that talked about a being capable of controlling time and an energy capable of destroying the dimensions. With great hope, he tried them all out. Nonetheless, none of them worked, except one. It took eight days to complete the ritual. From our drastic efforts, you appeared as our result. At first, the Elders were very appalled that a small child was summoned, in particular, a female child. However, Grandfather decided to take his chance with you, which ultimately led us to meet each other._

_Once I passed the Hunter exams, Grandfather and the Elders ordered me to investigate a series of legends. Within these legends, I discovered a shocking truth. This truth is the reason why the Clan is divided into three group. The Main, the Main Branch, and the Branch family. _

_The Main Branch family was separated from the Main and Branch family because in the past, they tried to destroy the Main family and were thus forced into submission to protect the Main and Branch family from the Outside World. _

_I wish to warn you though as the Branch family is very knowledgeable of the dark history between the two families, so they will most likely be hostile towards anyone who is an outsider that tries to go near their territory. After all, they are the ones who are given the task to protect the Main family. _

_Just to let you know, the current Clan Leader is someone who is kind and rules with great knowledge, but recently, she has been acting strange with her decisions. That is why I want you to figure out what exactly is going on with her. It is very suspicious on why she would suddenly rule with an iron fist. That is another reason why we believe that someone is controlling her or that someone is following under her orders to control the Main Branch family. If it is her, I do not blame her though as the Main Branch family has been acting strange for the past few years. Tension has been building up as if something big is going to happen. When I found the heiress in an isolated area, that further increased my wariness towards the adults and the Elders. I can only hope that it is just my imagination and that they are not planning anything dangerous such as a coup d'etat or manipulating the heiress to rule over the rest of the families. Anyways, please raise the heiress away from the politics of the Clan and hide yourself from the world so that the Clan cannot find you. Once I figure out the entirety of this mess, I will somehow get in contact with you. If you can, try to become a Hunter as it is easier for me to find you in that case._

_One last thing, if it is possible, find a way to release everyone from the mind control. I shall also look for another method. Remember, Kinra. Do not trust anyone. Do not trust me. Do not trust Yuu. Do not trust anyone when you come back. I only hope that I will not be controlled by the time this is all over, but if I am and you did not find a method to destroy the manipulation, kill us all. Let's just hope that it doesn't come to that point. Kinra, raise the heiress. Protect the heiress. Save the Clan from absolute elimination. At least, save the Main and Branch family if possible. Do whatever it takes to secure the best future for the Clan. If all else fails, force Grandfather to teach you how to time travel, despite being very skeptical of the idea that you can time travel. For all we know, it could be a misunderstanding or a wish by the person who created that legend. Despite your results from the water divination, your power can always translate into something else._

_I hope you stay safe__, Kinra. _

_From Alice_

* * *

"I... I didn't get a lot of that." Gon laughed sheepishly as Suou gaped at the letter as if disbelieving what she just read.

Killua's lips tightened into a thin line. "They sure are dumping their shit onto her." He scoffed bitterly in quiet anger.

"Onee-chan..." She closed her eyes and buried her face into the letter. "I can't believe I was so...so naive, so stupid. The moment I thought I knew my sister, something else happens that destroys that assumption. And... When I try to learn more about her, the more I realize that I don't know anything about her." She sniffed as she held in her tears. Folding the letter and placing it to the side, she gratefully accepted the tea from Mito-san and drank it. "How frustrated she must have been...so confused as to what to do first...and I didn't know a single thing. NOT A SINGLE THING OF HER PAIN!" Suou felt utter disgust for herself.

A warm arm wrapped around her. Mito-san told her in a gentle voice. "Sometimes, those that take care of their important loved ones end up omitting the hardships and responsibilities from them in order to give security to those that need it, especially during the most important part of their lives. All they want to do is protect and nurture the goodness with hopes that nothing will stain the innocence of their loved ones. Do not blame yourself, Suou. From what I have seen so far, your sister is a thoughtful and affectionate person who just wanted to protect you, her precious little sister, in any possible way. She would not be happy if she knew that you were blaming yourself for what she did and had to do." A sob ripped out from Suou when she heard Mito-san's words, tightening her grip on her clothes. "Since you don't know if she is okay or where she is at, you should not stress too hard about it because nothing will change by stressing too much. Perhaps you'll have a better idea as to where she is once you clear your head."

She sniffled and looked up at her. "How do I do that?"

"Go explore Whale Island with Gon and Killua tomorrow and then take a nice warm shower with me, but first things first. We all need to sleep as it is late and it's not healthy for us to be up for too long. Tomorrow is a long day for us and by sleeping, we can refresh our bodies to prepare for it all." Mito-san pat her head gently before asking. "Would you like to sleep with me for today, Suou?" She nodded in response.

"Thank you." Her voice was quiet and uncertain.

* * *

I stared down at my bloody lap as I heard the door open. A rustling sound stopped when they stood in front of me. My arms and legs were finally released as I fell to the ground lifelessly. "You look terrible." A familiar voice. It was Midori.

I hoarsely whispered with a strained grin. "Of course not. I look amazing." She sighed at my attempts to talk and began using a towel to wipe away the blood. I cried out the moment the towel touched my blemished skin. She flinched at the sight of tears sprouting from my eyes.

"You're only thirteen years old." She hinted to me.

"I will NEVER send Rose to these crazed bastards." I coughed out. "I have nothing against the Branch or Main family for that matter, but...sending her to the Main Branch is like sending her to hell." Midori stared at me as she paused with her work. "I have to... I have to protect her. Even if...it means that I will die."

Her brows furrowed with frustration. "You're only thirteen."

"So?" She flinched at my determined tone. "Rose is my family. She has been since I left this place. So... So how...How can I bring her here as a sacrifice?" Overwhelming emotions stained my voice as I grabbed her arms in utter sadness.

"Why..." Her light gray blue eyes flickered with something unexplainable.

"The reason why I left... Do you know what it is?"

"No."

"It is to protect her from the tainted politics of this family. To make sure she develops her own morals when it is time for her to rule over the three families. To give me a chance to find a way to save this damn Clan from complete annihilation." I tightened my grip on her arm sleeves. "Dammit, Midori. Believe me. Please... You're the only one left here that I can actually... The reason why Alice died... The reason why the Clan began to act strangely and suspiciously when we were younger... The reason why we were brought forth. Do you really not know? Or do you just close your eyes from the truth?" When she sprayed the disinfectant on my injuries and spread ointment onto them, I cried as I hung onto her for dear life.

After carefully bandaging my injuries, she faced me with uncertain look. "I will believe you..." Relief pooled into my mind. "But..." I stiffened. "Only if you can survive for three days without spilling a single word of the heiress and the situation that you are implying to me to the people who torture you." I hesitated for a mere second before nodding.

"Deal." I whispered to her.

Her eyes darkened. "I might as well tell you now, but I have to take you to the isolation box. I don't know how long you're staying in there and I'm pretty sure you won't be getting any food or water during that time. Just... Just don't die or go crazy on me." I shook in fear as I got a hold of myself.

"Okay." She pulled me up gently than anyone else did in this Clan and lead me to a small box. It reminded me of a coffin. A very cushioned coffin so that I would not kill myself to insanity. Midori tied a thick cloth around my mouth, disabling me from biting down on my tongue, and tied my arms behind my back.

"Go to sleep. It might help." After binding my legs together, she helped me into the coffin with a sympathetic gaze before closing and locking it completely from the outside. Once I heard the click from the lock, my eyes heavily closed as I breathed in and out in a rhythmic motion. My consciousness faded away immediately.

* * *

Gon and Killua examined the small box that Ging had left behind, while Suou and Mito-san sat together at the table, drinking tea.

"Thank you very much for your hospitality towards us for the last few days, Mito-san." She smiled gratefully towards her. Her eyes softened as she watched the small girl sip the tea gracefully.

"You're very welcome." By this time, Killua and Gon discovered the presence of Greed Island and were listening to the tape that Ging left for Gon. Suou gazed out the window in wonders of where her sister was at and whether she was safe or not. Mito-san eyed her with concern before pouring herself more tea.

Soon, it was time for them to go.

"Stay safe, Gon!" Mito-san gave a tight hug to Gon as she closed her eyes to savor the warmth of the child who gave her light in her life.

After releasing her embrace, she turned towards them. "All of you! Send me lots of letters, okay? And please look after Gon for me."

"Yes ma'am!" They saluted as they smiled brightly towards her. She laughed and waved to them as they began to walk away.

"We should go look for a boat!" Gon suggested on their way to the port. Killua and Suou nodded in agreement.

"Everyone! I found a boat! Hurry up!" Gon yelled out to them with his big smile.

"I guess it's time to say goodbye to Whale Island for now." Killua murmured to himself. He imagined Kinra, smiling at him and walking towards him with a leveled gaze. Closing his eyes, he pretended to feel the touch of her fingers over his own, to hear a whisper of his name from her voice, and to smell the warmth of her scent near him. He opened his eyes and with disappointment, it was just the ocean and its vastness with no Kinra calming him down with her deep brown eyes.

"Killua, are you okay?" Gon asked him quietly as Suou sat down distractedly.

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

"Un... Well I was thinking... We should protect Suou in place of Kinra." He looked her from afar. "I'm still a little worried about her."

"Yeah... We should definitely protect her no matter what, so that when Kinra comes back, she will have nothing to worry about." Killua murmured as he imagined once more of her relieved eyes towards them.

Finally, after a few days, they had arrived at York Shin.

At first they looked around the city with some awe, but when they spotted a PC room, Killua quickly dragged them into the building. Afterwards, they decided to initiate a game plan.

"So we have to increase our budget to make it at least 8.9 billion... That's a lot of money." Killua muttered with a sigh. "Well let's search on the internet to look for treasures to sell on the auction."

He hurriedly grabbed a computer and began to search with Gon and Suou. "Alright! Let's do this!"

* * *

I wonder what day it is today... Has it been only one day? Two days? I breathed in and out slowly and deeply.

Is it day? Is it night? I closed my eyes once more. I imagined Killua's arms, wrapping around me, Suou's hands, cupping my cheeks, and Gon's laughter, ringing in my ears. I imagined them reassuring me that everything was okay and that it will all work out in the end. A clicking sound hovered over me and a bright light entered the darkness.

A huge hand pulled out of the coffin, dragging me, as I heard small voices around me, talking and sneering at me.

"Look at her. How disgusting."

"-deserves it."

"They should execute her."

"The heiress-"

"We must capture her."

"Bring her back at all costs."

"Find her."

"Use all information-"

"-the power to search."

"Not under the detection."

"Shatter her, break her, do everything that you can to rip the information out of her."

"If that fails, it is no matter."

"She will be executed for going against the Clan."

"We will FIND the heiress."

I felt the man chain me down on the same iron chair as before. When he left, a slim woman entered the room.

"Hello, dear. How are we feeling today?" I never answered her. She continued. "You seem like a kind child. A person who's willing to sacrifice everything. A girl who would rather be the one to get hurt than to hurt others around her. Don't you agree with me?" I eyed her suspiciously. "My name is Dani and I am here to psychologically assess you today."

"I doubt that." I whispered to her hoarsely.

"Meaning?"

Grunting, I looked up at her. "You're here to psychologically torture me."

She tapped her lips with her finger. "As I have heard, you are quite the smart one. A genius."

"I am not a genius." I muttered calmly. I kept my emotions in check as I felt her finger graze against my cheek.

"Hmm... Child, do you know why I'm here?"

"To psychologically torture me into telling you where the heiress is located." At my response, she laughed out loud.

"How utterly _boring_ you are, child. Do you really think I'm here to do that?" I watched her eyes gaze into mine. Her high-pitched laughter rang unpleasantly throughout the room, "A genius has their limits I suppose. How sad that Alice died for a child like you. A girl who would rather harbor all the pain to herself and protect everyone like a broken shield. If it wasn't for you, then she might have lived longer and even lived in absolute power."

I twitched at her words. "Absolute...power...?"

She laughed once more. "The Main Branch family planned a coup d'etat for years to take the power from the other two families. But sadly, Alice caught wind of it and tried to stop us. So I did the one thing that I could. Chopped her head off." She placed her forehead against mine. "Right. In front. Of her lover." The woman licked her lips as if it was the most wonderful thing that had happened in her life. She never bothered to hide the amusement and joy from her eyes. I stilled at her words. "So what will you do now? Cry? Scream in anger? If you hadn't left with the heiress, then you wouldn't be here in pain and Alice might not have died."

"That's fine by me if it means that she will be safe. Alice's death will not be in vain." I growled at her.

"Again. A boring child." She cupped my cheek with her hand as I glared straight at her. "Do you truly not understand? Do you really not know the reason why she made you leave with the heiress?" She did not wait for me to answer. "It's because she thought you were too kind of a child. Too kind to kill another person. That's why she made you leave. She couldn't depend on you to do anything correctly. A mere letter is all she probably gave you and maybe a hug before you left, telling you that she loves you and that you were her family. Just another small way to manipulate you into taking her side." I never dropped my hard gaze on her. Immediately, she backed away, turning her head. "Come in. It's time." The man from my first session of torture entered with the small whip. He stuffed my mouth and taped it to stop it from leaving my mouth. I stiffened at what was to come next. He lifted the whip, aiming towards my lap.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.

I closed my eyes, trying to imagine this hell to be over in a few minutes.

Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen.

Gagging consecutively, dread and desperation pooled in my stomach. I watched as my newly healed skin ripped with scarlet red, dripping down my legs once more.

Thirty one. Thirty two.

A muffled scream ripped out of me as a new pool of a mix of blood and tears surrounded me. The smell of salt and metal invaded my nose. I wanted to throw up. I wanted it all gone. Disappeared. I could not stop myself from shaking. I could not focus on where I was. When the man walked out of the room, the woman entered once more.

"You look _terrible_." She burst out into laughter before tracing her finger over my wounds. I cried out in pain with no energy to look at her. "The heiress is so selfish. She has everyone bowing down at her in every corner and yet, she doesn't have the mind to try to save you."

Her voice sung softly in my ear. "To leave you alone... All alone in this empty room."

She lifted my chin, suddenly taking on a cruel tone. "Stop protecting her. Stop being kind. No wonder Alice made you leave. Made you escape this place. But alas, her efforts went down the drain. You still ended up coming back here and now, she's dead. Never to come back. Never to hold you again. Never to smile at you again."

She turned around and grabbed a bag that was thrown against the wall with a stake sticking out of it. As she released the string that tied the bag together, a horrible smell erupted into the room. Rotting flesh. Burnt flesh. The absolute smell of death. Flies whirred around the bag. Old blood flaked on the old skin. Dull green eyes stared back at me. Matted red hair glared in the light. Nausea suddenly built up as hot tears flowed down my eyes. I screamed in anger when the woman placed the stake directly in front of me at a good distance.

"Doesn't she look _wonderful_?" She whispered in my ear as I gagged from crying. "It's all your fault. All. Your. Fault. If only you were a little stronger, then she wouldn't be in this state. If you still think that you're doing the right thing by keeping silent, by protecting the heiress, then you should rethink your decision... Because...You're not kind. You're merely _weak_. A weak little girl." She slammed her hand against my lap. I winced out loud, trembling, as the heightened scorching burn spread through my legs.

"Do you still believe that you can continue being on the side of the hurt? The one who protects others like a broken shield? To this Clan, you are a _weapon_. A weapon of the Clan. Created to pave a better future for the Clan, for the Main Branch family. Rethink your priorities and desires for as long as you wish with Alice right in front of you." The woman finally stood up and walked out of the room as she locked the door from the outside.

I stared at the dull green and matted red. Flies landed on her once bright skin, eating at the slivers of her outer tissue like a feast. Her old blood flaked off of the stake and small chunks of burnt flesh hung from her once apparent neck. Closing my eyes, I lost all of my tears after I watched her from afar. Too weak to protect. Too weak to be selfish. _Too weak._

* * *

**EDIT1: Just to let you know, Killua and Kinra will see each other again in the most unexpected time and places. :)**

**Please R&amp;R! I'll be happy to see more reviews, favorites, or story alerts. Whatever floats your boat~~ :3 ****After all, those notifications give me the strength to keep writing! **

**Now... T****o thank my ****awesome ****reviewer!**

**To TsukinoX: ****Thank you for the reviews as always! :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 12! **

**WARNING: There are more torture scenes and some gore. Please read with discretion.**

**Anyways, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory/future Kinra talking**

_**bold italics -**_** future enemy talking**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

* * *

Midori walked discreetly through the halls, hiding her presence from the world. She paused when she heard a suspicious conversation between the Elders. Her blood dropped cold at what they were implying and it burned as she tightened her fists when they explicitly confirmed what she was thinking.

* * *

_"Why do you try so hard?" I huffed as I laid on the ground from exhaustion. Midori walked up to me. "Why do you try so hard?" She asked me again._

_"No...choice..." I stood up shakily and met my eyes with hers. "In order...to find my freedom once more."_

_"You will never be free."_

_"That's not true." I grabbed her arm, leveling my gaze on her. "If I try hard enough...If I survive long enough...then...I. Can. Win." Rubbing away the blood from my wound, my hands tightened my grip on her. _

_She pulled my hands off of her. "You're a fool." I laughed hollowly. _

_"I'd rather be the fool than the already defeated." Because I would rather be the one with hope for her future than living in hell and wishing for death for a future that is already bleak._

* * *

"Is she still asleep?"

"Yes."

"Did you find the heiress yet?"

"Almost."

"How long will it take you?"

"Soon. It won't be for long."

"Good." The hushed voices lingered through the halls as I lifted my head to see Alice, staring right at me.

"Midori."

"Yes sir."

"Take care of her wounds and feed her."

"Yes sir." The door swung open as I watched Midori with her first aid kit. The pungent smell of death lingered in my nose. She released me from the chains to treat my injuries. The door closed as I hung onto her as if she was my last lifeline to keep me sane in this hell. I drank in her smell greedily, trying to remind myself that I was still alive. "It's been more than the three day deal." She whispered to me. "I couldn't come in here before that." I nodded feebly in her arms. "I believe you." I nodded again. "There's something I need to tell you." Her posture stiffened and her voice was uncertain.

* * *

"Save her, Midori." I croaked out. "Save her... Please..."

"But I don't know where she is." She argued back at me.

"York Shin. Check PC rooms, flea markets, and auctions. Find her. You should know how she looks like. Please. If not, look for two boys her age. One with white hair and blue eyes or the other with dark spiky hair and brown eyes. They should be able to lead you to her." I begged her as I cried silently to myself. "Kill anyone that tries to take her back. Protect her discreetly. Make sure she doesn't find out. Make sure she doesn't know what is happening with me. Please." Her expression turned hard.

"I can't come back to save you. You realize that?" Her whisper was faint.

"I know."

"There are only two abilities that I learned from the Clan. My only privilege as a half blood, besides rejecting the detection. The first is leaving the village. I can always leave but I can never enter the village, unless another Clan member retrieves me. The second is communicating with someone face to face from anywhere in the world with the use of that person's blood."

"Explain the communication."

"As long as I have a drop of your blood, I can summon a window-like opening that can enable anyone on my side to see and talk to the person whose blood that I have. No one on your side can see or talk to anyone on my side. Only you can see and talk to anyone on my side."

"Anything else?"

"Yes. You can choose to open and block the connection whenever you wish."

"Convenient." She bottled some of my blood into a tiny bulletproof case. Tying it to a string, she conveniently hung it around her neck. "Where did you get that?"

"Every Clan member receives it as a gift once they can complete that ability."

"I see." I quickly hardened my resolve. "Then go. It's okay if you leave me. I just need to make sure Rose..No...Suou is safe right now. She will be with two boys her age and maybe two older guys."

"Okay. I'll use the Clan members to find her and then kill them before they manage to approach her." I nodded firmly. "It's..." She hesitated over my frail form. "It's time for the isolation box." I closed my eyes in resignation of my fate and finally followed her out of the room. After she locked the isolation box, Midori immediately gathered her bag and daggers as she held the blood case in her hand. She focused her mind on York Shin City. "Exit." Murmuring to herself, the wind around her picked up the leaves that surrounded her before she finally disappeared from the village.

The sounds of cars and the rustling of people filled her ears when she opened her eyes to find the towers of buildings stood fixedly around her. Quickly, she headed for the PC rooms, flea markets, and auctions, keeping her eyes open for three obviously out-of-place kids and red-headed Clan members, without rest for the next few weeks.

* * *

It was September 4th.

Gon had sent a text to Kurapika. It said, "We're waiting for you in the D-Road Garden!"

They all sat down on the picnic blanket as everyone began to eat, while waiting for Kurapika to arrive. Midori visibly sighed when she noticed everyone looking at her from the corner of her eyes. Although she succeeded in finding them, she has yet to earn their trust. The boy named Gon managed to persuade them into allowing her to stay with them after she informed them that she was Kinra's friend and that she was here to protect Suou from harm. Despite having one boy believe in her, the others were stubborn about it because she would not reveal Kinra's situation to them, except for the fact that she was still alive. At that moment, she found a young man, walking towards them, from afar.

"Kurapika!" Gon ran so fast that he accidentally spilled some food onto Killua. Leorio laughed out loud as he stood up and met with Kurapika with a casual greeting. Suou also greeted the tired young man with a bright smile. She introduced Midori to him and she bowed her head towards him in respect. After all, it would not do if he disliked her like the others did. When she watched the group mingle together, she headed back to the blanket and wondered how Kinra was doing. Because they kept a close watch on her every action, she never had the chance to contact her. Sighing once more, she just hoped that she was okay.

"Let's head back to the hotel, everyone!" Leorio called out. Everyone said their goodbyes to Kurapika, who left before them. The sun was going down and suddenly, Midori felt very forlorn, spreading unease into her mind.

* * *

Killua walked around the forest, unaware of where he was going. The forest was soft and warm, despite the darkness. A familiar scent of warmth touched his nose as he turned around, but nothing was there. Walking forward once more, he stopped when someone called out to him.

"Killua." It was _her_ voice. He stopped, hoping that nothing would break this moment between them. "Killua, over here." He soon followed the voice, hoping and hoping that he would finally see _her_, touch _her_, and hold _her_ in his arms.

Once he arrived at a single tree with a lake, surrounding it, his heart stilled when he saw _her_, sitting on its branch. Smiling wholeheartedly. Smiling at _him_. He immediately swam through the lake, ignoring the warning signals in his mind, telling him to get out of there. After he made it to the tree, he stood on its huge root, staring at her. Drinking in her presence.

"You know." He called out to her. "I checked the Hunter site with Suou, but it didn't have any information on your whereabouts." Her eyes twinkled with amusement. "Why did you have to send that weird bodyguard to us? Couldn't you have..." His voice lost its confidence. "Couldn't you have come back to us...? Come back to _me_?" She smiled gently and apologetically towards him. "Don't give me that smile. Don't." His voice strained as he gazed at the ground, shaking from tears that threatened to fall.

"Did you miss me?" Her voice. Her _sweet _voice echoed in his ear. Kinra jumped down from the tree, standing in front of him. He hesitantly intertwined his fingers with hers, taking in the smooth touch of her warm skin, and caressing her cheek with his hand.

He placed his forehead against hers before whispering to her in the gentlest tone. "_Yes_." He gazed into her familiar deep brown eyes. "I missed you so much." Their noses touched ever so slightly when her lips parted and widened into a serene smile.

"I even did the hand in the sky ritual thing that you taught me during the exams." His eyes softened at the memory from before.

"So... Did it work for you?" She playfully asked him.

He chuckled to himself. "No. I didn't feel peaceful at all in the inside and I didn't have the courage to move forward again."

"I _did_ warn you that it might not work." She giggled, leaving him at utter ease.

"You did." He nuzzled his nose to her smooth brown hair, sighing contently "Don't _ever_ leave me again like that." His lips grazed against hers, tickling his skin with satisfaction. He watched her eyes glaze over before she closed them, enjoying their small shared kiss. His lips hungrily lingered over hers before he reluctantly pulled away.

When she opened her eyes again, she looked at him curiously. "Do you like me?"

"_No_." His voice was firm but soothing. "I don't like you _because_..." He held her close with his arm as their palms finally touched from their linked hands. "_Because I_..." His light blue eyes softened over her. "_Because I_-"

* * *

He opened his eyes and sat up in confusion. For a few minutes, the wall in front of him was the object of his staring. When he finally looked around, dazed, he found himself in a dark room, hearing the whirs of the air conditioner. On the other side of the room, Gon and Leorio snored like no other as he sighed to himself in disappointment. Laying down on his bed again, he looked out of the window, where the moon shined bright, and called out to her, knowing that she would not be able to hear him. "Where are you, Kinra." Slowly, he sleepily imagined her fingers graze lazily against his cheek as he murmured, "I miss you," in hopes that it would reach her, wherever she was in this world. He sighed as he wished for another dream to see _her_ again. When he was just about to fall asleep, so many thoughts lingered in his mind, but only one stood out the most.

_I miss you, Kinra_.

* * *

_"There's something I need to tell you." Midori's voice was uncertain._

_I breathed in deeply. "What is it?"_

_"The reason why Alice tried to stop the coup d'etat was because she learned of the existence of a previous assassination."_

_I furrowed my brows. "A previous assassination?" _

_"Yes. But unfortunately for them, the first one failed. So..." Her eyes darted back and forth to me and the ground._

_"So...?" I asked._

_"So they planned on sending you to assassinate the Leader." _

_My blood ran cold. "...what?"_

_"Alice did not want that to happen nor did she want to go against the Leader, which is why she tried to stop them. Unfortunately, that ended in her death." My fingers twitched. "There is another thing that I noticed."_

_"What is it?"_

_"Although the people around me are stronger, they used me to attack you when we went to retrieve you. I never understood that. At first, I thought it was just a test, but I began to realize that everyone around me could not use the entirety of their powers."_

_"Meaning?" I waited for her to elaborate._

_"It means that something is obviously wrong. Something is blocking their power, making them weaker than me." Whoever was controlling them could not bring out the full potential within them. "And one last thing."_

_"Yes?"_

_"I know that Alice's grandfather has his power over you, meaning that you obey his every order at his will."_

_"That is a known fact in the village. Well at least among the Main Branch family..." I murmured to myself._

_"If they wanted to know where the heiress was, couldn't her grandfather just order you to tell them? Anyways, these are the things that I found that was off within the Clan right now..." I stared down at the ground, soaking up her words. The controller obviously does not know of the known fact, since this fact was only known amongst the members of the Main Branch family. That was definitely to my advantage. _

_"In that case, I have something to tell you." I whispered to her. "I heard that they are close to finding Suou." I gripped her arm tightly. "Save her, Midori. Save her... Please..."_

* * *

Forty-five. Forty-six. Forty-seven.

The blood on my lap splattered onto my face, spilling onto the floor. I flinched as he moved onto my arms. I heard a loud cracking sound from behind me. White hot pain seared through my skin, leaving an angry red burn that tingled uncomfortably at a single touch. I cried through my stuffed mouth, gagging as I felt another whip slash from behind me.

One. Two.

When will it be over? I lifted my head and gazed into the cold dull green. Red blurred my eyes. One. Two. Three. Four. The drops of blood flowed down from my head, dripping down to my lap in a catatonic rhythm. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve.

Twenty-four. Twenty-five. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight.

All of my energy seeped away from me as my fingers twitched at each hit on the arm. What was next? My shin? My stomach? My chest? My head? I clenched my teeth, bracing for the next.

The door swung open, revealing Dani. "You can stop now. It's my turn." She waved her hand, dismissing the man as he left with a glare.

"Oh, my _poor_ darling." Her fingers grazed against my cheek before swiftly pulling off the duct tape and throwing the object in my mouth to the floor. "Does that feel better, _sweetheart_?" I coughed continuously until I took a deep breath and glared at her.

"What do you want from me, you bitch?" The flare in my eyes never changed. She frowned at my newly found determination.

"Hmm... I guess you didn't find it in your _small_ heart to rethink your priorities and desires..." The woman placed a finger on her lips and watched me with a thoughtful look. "Perhaps you would know..."

"Know what."

"As to why the other Outsider left so suddenly after taking care of your little wounds." I unconsciously stiffened.

"Ah... So you do know." Giggling to herself, she pulled out a small thin dagger. "Would you like to tell me where she is and what she's planning on doing? After all, the Clan's safety is also your priority."

"What a joke. You only want the Main Branch family to survive but not the rest of the Clan." I growled at her. "I will NEVER tell you anything."

She whispered in my ear. "This is your last chance, _my dear_."

Never pulling my gaze away from her, I whispered. "I will _not_ change my mind." She swung her dagger into my shoulder. Blood seeped from the new wound, drenching my top. I clenched my teeth, willing myself to not scream.

Her firm voice dropped an octave lower. "Do not test my patience." An ugly glint shadowed in her eyes. She pulled the dagger out of my shoulder and continued to stab into it. Out. In. Out. In. Out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in. I winced as tears sprung from my eyes. Out. In. Out. In. My arm shuddered as she pulled out the dagger. I cried out when she plunged it back in. Before I had time to process, she dug it into my other shoulder. Over and over again. Never stopping.

"Skewered like a piece of grilled meat." She sung into my ear.

Her voice laughed in glee. "Be tortured until it's time for your execution. One day. Two days. Three days. Four days." She lifted my chin. "For the _longgggest _time, even after you wish to die like the cockroach that you are. And then when you are completely _insane_, that's when we will fulfill your _wish_." My consciousness was at the edge of disappearing. I smelled the metallic tang of blood all around me. My tears dried for the longest amounts of time. I closed my eyes, giving into the overwhelming fatigue. All I heard was her shrieking laughter, ringing in my ears.

* * *

It has been a few days since they faced the Genei Ryodan and since Kurapika caught the fever. He had barely healed but he soon decided to head back to work once he was able to move.

"Leorio, I'm going now." Kurapika called out to him.

"Are you sure you want to leave without telling them?" He casually walked up to them with a newspaper.

"Yes. They're training hard and each second counts. Just tell them we'll see each other again soon." Kurapika turned to walk away as Leorio caught Senritsu's attention.

"Take good care of Kurapika." He whispered to her. "With you, somehow, he lets down his guard. He's bright, but at the same time, rash. From what I've seen, he confides easily in you. I'm counting on you to restrain his actions."

"You know...thinking about it...soft and warm tones, with resonance. Among all the people I've met in this town, your melodies are the best. I think you're meant to be a doctor or teacher. You would be a nice professor. If you want my opinion, I think you should retrain." She complimented him.

"Thanks, I'll think about it!" He grinned shyly.

* * *

The day of the exam arrived.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. We are going to start the selection test for the game 'Greed Island'. The game will be performed on the six consoles acquired by Mr. Battera. You are already a particular elite...but this time, unlike the auctions of Southern Peace, where you only needed 12 million to participate, only the strongest will remain. To participate in the game, mastery of Nen is required! But I'm telling you nothing you don't already know... You will be judged by an examiner to whom you will show your Nen. The notification of failure will be an unbiased decision. Thank you for your understanding. The one in charge of the selection test is..." Echoes of footsteps walked towards the stage as the announcer continued. "The professional Hunter, Tsezugera!"

He entered the stage and took over. "Without further ado...let's proceed with the evaluation. You will come one after another onto this stage, and show me your 'Ren'. The stage will be hidden by a double curtain, so that the other participants are unaware of what is occurring. 31 people! When we have reached this number, the exam will be closed." With those words, the curtain came down.

"Alright. Will those interested in taking part in the test...come forward." The announcer stood near the entrance. Suou, Gon and Killua finally went in to take the examination, which they easily passed with flying colors.

"Okay. I will begin by congratulating you. You are the 22 who have been selected to play Greed Island. If you manage to complete the game, Mr. Battera will reward you with 50 billion Jenis. The other details are written clearly in the contract you hold in your hands. Read it carefully. The departure from York Shin will occur at 5pm. Read the contract by then, and sign it. Pack your bags for the game, and meet back at the main entrance to Tarsetol Station." Tsezugera's voice boomed out as he announced this.

It was almost time for them to play Greed Island.

* * *

Hushed voices surrounded me. "I brought his body, but what do you want to do with him? He's just a traitor. We should have burned his body completely."

"There are better things to do than throwing it away." The woman's voice giggled. "Did you also bring _that_?"

The lower voice muttered. "Of course I did. He never stopped holding it in his hand. I'm just amazed as to how it wasn't scorched at all."

"That's the stubborn nature of our Clan members, I suppose... Especially when it comes to sentimental items." She said in a singsong voice.

"Well, please don't go too crazy on her with the injuries. It's tiring enough that I had to heal her personally with my Nen. Seriously. We need to officially execute her after all."

"Don't _worry_ about it. It was just a moment of excitement. You worry too much." She patted the man on the shoulder.

He pointed at my general direction. "Well, have fun, since it looks like she just woke up."

"Perfect. I'll have lots of fun." The woman giggled to herself as she opened the door to the room. Striding towards me, she pressed down on my lap. I twitched, expecting pain to follow, but nothing happened. "How are you feeling, _dear_? My good friend patched you up completely as you can tell. No scars. No evidence of our torture. Such _clean_ skin." Her fingers trailed across my skin. When she stopped at my neck, she looked directly into my eyes.

She leaned closer to me. Her breath hovering over my neck. "By the way, do you ever want to know what happened to that lover who saw Alice's _pathetic_ death?" I flinched. Yuu was on the run. He was safe. There was no need to be affected by her words. She continued without regards to my reaction. "After he was saved by you, he was on the run." A cold chill ran down my skin. "And of course, because of the detection, we found him." I controlled every muscle on my face to not react to her words. "Dragged him. Tortured him. And then..."

Her voice dropped an octave lower, chilling with joyful excitement. "I burned him to a crisp." That was impossible. That couldn't be true.

She backed away from me. "It's true. I burned him when he screamed like a prissy little girl. Screaming and crying. Oh, how pathetic he turned out to be. Crying as if he wanted his mommy." Giggling to herself, she twirled something familiar and golden in her hand. "Or maybe he was crying for his lover. _But_... He sure screamed _out loud_. His skin even burned into flakey goodness. Too bad they didn't let me chop his head off. It would have been a joy to watch, but I guess it was good enough to hear him bawl for help. Perhaps he was crying for _you_. For you to _help_ him."

She hung the golden watch from her hand in front of me. "Familiar?" My throat was dry from frozen fear. "He held onto it like dear life. Never letting go of it, despite burning to death. What do you think it _means_? What do you think it _is_? He never had it before when he was controlled..." I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. My mind was blank. _So blank._

She turned away from me and called out in an authoritative tone. "Bring it in." A rough man appeared, dragging what appeared to be a scorched body. Repulsive bile clogged in my throat. Charred black tissue. Stiff crumbling muscles. Flimsy hanging burnt flesh. And ashes and ashes of dust. All forming the person before me. The one hand that still existed curled as if holding onto something for dear life. She dropped the watch to my feet. The blood stained the golden light, reflecting off of its cover. It clicked open as the nostalgic tune flooded into the room. The woman kicked the body towards the stake and I heard it crack into two from the intense force. I watched the stomach flood out like goo, spreading the floor with its dead acid. She then flipped out her dagger and slashed at Alice's face, forcing the hanging flesh to fall down on top of the burnt with a splat. "Oh, _look_. How _sweet_! They're finally _together_." Tears threatened to spill.

I screamed out in anger. "How _dare_ you-"

"It's all _your_ fault. If you had been faster... If you had told us sooner, then you could've delayed learning the truth of what happened to your loved ones a little longer." She laughed a little louder and harsher. Emptiness and confusion pooled into my mind.

Her voice whispered into my ear. "Do you _still_ believe that you made the right choice? Keeping silent, protecting others?"

_Because I made the wrong choice..._

"No matter how _kind_ you believe you are, you aren't. By being _kind_, you lose more and more until you have nothing left of your own. That is nothing but being _weak_. _Utterly weak_." She sneered. "Are you fine with just that?"

_Because I wanted to believe in them..._

Her voice sung into my ear as I closed my eyes. "Not that it matters anymore, because _all_ of your efforts went down the drain...with..._death_."

_They both died...for nothing..._

Tears streamed down my face. "You will be executed soon, so look forward to that, _darling_."

Before closing the door, she looked at me one last time with a pleased expression. "_Bye-bye_, until next time." I finally threw up, spilling the acid onto the ground and mixing it with my blood and the corpse in front of me. The colors swirled. It swirled too quickly, too fast. Dull green, matted red, charred black, shiny gold, and transparent yellow.

* * *

_"Be careful. I do want to see you again." I grabbed onto his sleeve. "Promise me."_

_"I promise." Yuu softly whispered to me._

* * *

_I promise. _

_I promise._

He promised. He promised. _Hepromisedhepromisedhepromisedhepromised_. HE PROMISED!

I tried to scream. I tried to wail. But nothing came out. Nothing came out, except for a strangled voice.

Why. _Whywhywhywhywhywhy! _WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE!

Who did I have left...who was left...who...

Who was I... _Who...?_

* * *

_"The reason why Alice tried to stop the coup d'etat was because she learned of the existence of a previous assassination."_

_I furrowed my brows. "A previous assassination?" _

_"Yes. But unfortunately for them, the first one failed."_

* * *

Alice... That's right... Alice is right there in front of me.

I watched the dull pink slide down from her skull and linger into the rest of the black.

Alice is right there, watching me.

* * *

_"Alice did not want that to happen nor did she want to go against the Leader, which is why she tried to stop them. Unfortunately, that ended in her death." My fingers twitched. "There is another thing that I noticed."_

_"What is it?"_

_"Although the people around me are stronger, they used me to attack you when we went to retrieve you. I never understood that. At first, I thought it was just a test, but I began to realize that everyone around me could not use the entirety of their powers."_

_"Meaning?" I waited for her to elaborate._

_"It means that something is obviously wrong. Something is blocking their power, making them weaker than me." Whoever was controlling them could not bring out the full potential within them._

* * *

Alice did not want that to happen... Yuu did not want that to happen... They both did not want that to happen... I have to fix it all... I have to fix. Fix it all. _Fixfixfixfixfixfix_... Then what do I do next...?

I have to wait. Wait... Wait until it's time... Time for my _own_ execution... Pretend... Pretend to accept my fate... And then...?

And then I kill them all until it's fixed... Kill them all... _Kill._

* * *

"Kinra. Kinra!" Midori glared at the wall of her room. The screen that she made from the blood had static displayed on it like a TV with no transmission signal. The one time where no one was keeping an eye on her was the time that Kinra decided to not allow any connection through. She cursed under her breath. Deciding to try again later, she knocked on Leorio's door to walk with him to the family restaurant, where they planned to all meet.

"Yeah?" A sleepy voice called out.

Timidly, she hesitated before answering. "It's Midori."

"Oh... Come in." She turned the doorknob and looked into his room shyly. He was putting on his jacket when she entered. "You're done?"

"A-ah... Yes." Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment when he asked. He furrowed his eyebrows before turning towards her.

"So why are you leaving them? I mean you were supposed to be there to protect Suou, right?" She hesitated but worry entered the pools of her light gray blue eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Leorio stared at her. He sighed. "If you keep worrying like that, then you might end up becoming sick. If you're worried about me spilling your secrets to the world, I can reassure you that I won't. After all, a doctor must be able to keep the confidentiality clause." He grinned at her. She blinked before laughing softly to herself. Startled by her reaction, he gaped at her smile with a faint blush.

Her eyes softened. "If you can keep it a secret with your life, _doctor_, then I wouldn't mind telling you."

"You can depend on me!" He hit his chest with his fist.

Her eyes flickered to uncertainty. "First of all, I was telling the truth when I said that Kinra is alive. Well, I know that she is still alive because when I tried to contact her earlier today, there was only static and not a black screen."

"Is... Is she okay?" Leorio watched her slump down onto a chair.

"I don't know. I... I had to fulfill my promise with her that I would protect Suou with my life..."

"From who?"

She clenched her teeth. "From the Clan. Her Clan."

"Then why?"

"Because she would be used like a puppet. Kinra didn't want that, nor did several other people." Her fists tightened with utter frustration. "And I don't know what is going on with her. I should be able to see, but I don't know why she's blocking the connection between us! I need to go back to the village, but I don't know how to get back without another Clan member. I don't know what to do!"

"But... why would she break the connection?" His eyes narrowed. "I mean she isn't in a situation where she would, right?"

She immediately stiffened. "Kinra... She's being tortured right now." His blood ran cold.

"What...?"

"She's being tortured in order to find out where Suou is located at and I don't know how long she can handle it, especially when her interrogator is Dani." She ran her hands through her hair hysterically.

"Dani." He repeated the name with disgust.

"She's known for her sadism and psychological torture. But she's also known to break people so badly to the point that they go insane." He cringed at her description.

"Well then... You definitely need to go back and save her... Wouldn't it be possible for you to just look it up on the map?"

"Even if I go to the location, without the use of the Clan member's power, I cannot enter or find the village for myself. I can leave, but I can't go back in by myself." She thoughtfully stared back at him. "I could always find a Clan member and force them to help me... or..." Her eyes darkened. "I heard that Alice had a lover, who is currently on the run... I believe his name is... Yuu. I know that he can help me, since he raised Kinra with her... So I have no doubt that he would join me to save her from that hell..." She began mumbling to herself for a plan. He rubbed the back of his head in confusion.

"So, um... Is there a different reason as to why you're leaving Suou, besides all that?"

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off like that." She put her hands to her cheeks. "Well, I doubt the Clan members would try to enter into the game, so she should be relatively safe in there for now. Plus, Gon and Killua should be strong enough to allow her time to either help them in battle or run away to safety. Either way, she has to soon fight her own battles, no matter what Kinra believes. Anyways, I think it's time for me to go. Can you tell Suou that I wish her for the best?" She stood up with her bag, slinging from her arm.

"Okay. Maybe we'll see each other one day again?" As he led her out to the doorway, her cheeks flushed red before she nodded. "Let me know if you need any help."

"Thank you, Leorio." She whispered to him with pleading eyes. "And please... Please don't tell anyone about this."

"Of course. Confidentiality is my specialty." He gave her a thumbs up and watched her nod with relief as she disappeared into thin air. "She's a pretty strange fellow." He shrugged and headed for the family restaurant.

* * *

At a family restaurant, the three met up with Leorio and decided to celebrate for passing the first stage.

"Cheers!" They all yelled out before swallowing the entire contents in their cups.

"50 billion in the end...I'd really like to know what that old Richard is thinking..." Leorio murmured to himself.

"Could you read this please?" Gon handed the contract to Leorio.

"...In short, there are three main points. 1. Be prepared for possible casualties or injuries. 2. Mr. Battera keeps all rights on objects obtained in the game. 3. The candidates who succeed in completing the game will receive a reward of 50 billion Jenis. If you're fine with those conditions, just sign the contracts." He read out loud.

"Time to sign it!" Suou immediately grabbed a pen and signed at the way bottom of the page.

"Suou."

"Yes?" She looked up at him curiously.

He rubbed his chin. "Midori says that she wishes the best for you before she left."

"Oh, okay..." She always thought the bodyguard that her sister sent was weird, but now her only connection to her sister was gone. Somehow, it unsettled her greatly.

"Well...I'll be going now..." Leorio stood up from his seat.

"Good luck on your exams, Leorio." Gon said as they all stood from their seats to see him off.

"Mm. You too. Take care!"

"Next time we meet, I want to call you 'Doctor'!" Gon beamed.

"Are you aware that that means we won't see each other for at least four years?" Leorio stared at him with disbelief.

After they saw him off, Killua turned around. "Shall we go now?"

"Yep." They all began to pace towards their next destination.

Before they continued their walk, Killua faced the two with a contemplative look. "I understand something now. There is something we're able to return to reality with. And it's that something that Mr. Battera wants at any cost."

"Well then... I guess we'll find out once we get there." Suou faced the sky as she wondered one last time about where Kinra was at and how she was doing.

"C'mon, Suou-chan!" Gon called out to her, causing her to snap out of her thoughts. She looked at the two, feeling the loss of her sister's presence harshly, before running towards them with a strained smile.

* * *

**EDIT1: They heal her with a blood transfusion in case you're wondering. :) You might be thinking that I'm breezing through the arcs too quickly and you're right. I am. But it's for a good reason. They aren't too relevant to the story, Kinra's story, which is why I only added snippets to give you a clue as to where we are in the storyline. The next chapter will be just as intense as this one. Just to let you know, the Chimera Ants arc is the most important one to me out of all the HxH arcs, which is why I'm hurrying to get there, because that's where the most stuff will happen. Anyways, look forward to it.**

**Please review! :) I love reading them because they give me such inspiration to write more.**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 13! **

**WARNING: A little bit of gore (No torture though. There won't be torture in this story anymore. At least from what I can see in my plans. It can always change if it is absolutely necessary.)**

**Anyways, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. I****f I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

* * *

"This time, return in two and a half hours." Bisuke said in an authoritative tone. "So let's begin." She quickly materialized digging equipments. With a grin, she pointed in the general direction towards Masadora. "Now, let's go to Masadora, but this time, take a straight route. I mean literally."

"What? All straight? What about the mountains...no way...!" All three of them groaned from exhaustion.

"YEP! You're going to dig your way through~!" Her lips widened into a sadistic smile.

When they began digging, they initially thought that the stone was pretty soft, but after a few short minutes with the use of the cart, it was harder to both dig and move the cart back and forth through the tunnel that they made so far. Once they finished going through one mountain, they fell to the ground, thoroughly exhausted.

"We only made about 200m of progress." Gon yelled out in frustration.

Suou huffed. "And I'm already a hundred times more exhausted than yesterday."

"I want to pass out." Killua groaned.

"Me too." Gon agreed.

Bisuke walked up to them and ordered. "Wait! If you're going to rest, at least sit up!"

"Oh no." Suou pulled on her hair at what she saw.

Gon hit his face with his hand. "A stone..."

"You'll sleep in this position from now on. Releasing the rope is not allowed. Plus, I'll cut the rope with this knife. This is to keep part of you alert at all times." She informed them.

Suou and Gon tried to hold onto the rope without letting go, but it sometimes slipped through their fingers, causing the stone to hit their heads. "Ouch!" By the time it was morning, the two ended up not getting enough sleep.

"Don't push yourselves too much. You guys aren't getting any sleep, right?" Killua told them.

"We're fine." Gon and Suou chorused together.

"The stones are slowly getting bigger. Especially for the two who could not pay attention earlier." Bisuke stared at them.

He laughed nervously. "I can still handle a stone this big hitting me. At least, I hope so."

"Ugh. I need to seriously get a handle on this." Suou just groaned. As they dug through the second mountain, Gon hit an extremely hard rock plate that would prove to be impossible to go through with just a shovel.

"Let's use Nen to go through it." Suou suggested to the two.

"Ah! By using the shovel as if it was a part of our body, we can go through it with our Nen, right?" He realized.

"Yeah." She nodded. Once everyone decided to do that, the digging proved to be faster than before. Thanks to their efforts, they managed to advance about 5km that day.

* * *

No eyes. No green. No red. Just black. Just pure black.

A soft deep voice chuckled in my ear, surrounding me like a heavy cloak.

* * *

_"Kinra, it's good to be independent, but sometimes when things get too hard, it's never wrong to depend on someone else."_

* * *

Liar.

* * *

_"You can always depend on me."_

* * *

Liar.

* * *

_"Always."_

* * *

Liar.

* * *

_"I will always protect you_."

* * *

What a liar.

* * *

_"All I want is for you to smile."_

* * *

All lies.

* * *

_"Smile as if the world opened up endless possibilities that will lead to your ultimate happiness."_

* * *

Everyone is a liar. All liars.

* * *

_"I promise."_

* * *

"You liar." The colors continued to swirl together, mixing together the black, the green, the red, and the golden. "You liar. All of it. All lies..."

I need to fix it. How many days. How many hours. How many minutes must I wait until I can finally fix it all. All the lies. All the liars.

I _need_ to fix it. Fix it all _now_.

_Hurry. Hurry, my little fools_. I need to sever the line connecting to the brain. The line. The _line_.

Fixing it all until _nothing else is left_.

* * *

"You made big progress in the last two weeks. And I thought two months would be necessary. I'm amazed. Now it won't be a problem to go to the last level. For the end, it will be specific-type training." When Bisuke pointed with her finger, all three yelled out the number at the same time.

"THREE!"

"Bingo. It's a tie. Gon is of the reinforcement type, Killua of transmutation type, and Suou of specialization type. It's okay if you just study your own type, but then you become a very inflexible fighter and the training isn't very efficient either. The ideal form is that of a mountain! Training centered around your own type, but that also includes some part of the neighboring types. Specialization is something else." She explained to them.

"So if we were looking at it through statistics, it's like a bell curve, where the main type is in the middle where usually the average would be placed and the rest of the types are where the deviations would usually be placed." Suou asked.

"Yes, that would be a good way of looking at it. Actually, if you use a balanced training of the other types, you'll learn your own type faster as well." Bisuke pointed again.

"NINE!" They all yelled out at the same time.

"Bingo. Another draw." She continued. "Then let's begin."

"YES!"

* * *

I walked aimlessly around the dark forest. The harshness of the ground scratched at my feet, but I took no notice of it. Rocks of all shapes and sizes created a strange path as if it called my name. A nostalgic sweet scent. A blur of white. Drawn by the soft light that shimmered through the rocks, I allowed myself to follow, distracting myself effectively from wanting to fix. Fix it all.

"_Kinra_." A voice. Who was it?

"_Kinra_." Whose name are they calling? I continued on the path, lost in the emptiness. "_Over here._" The deep voice called out to someone again. Was it me? Was I someone? I did not know anymore. But that voice...was so familiar... So warm, so safe, so strange. It was so off. A forbidden line to cross.

A _line_...? A line. I needed to cut the line...to fix it all... That's right. I need to cut the line right now... I can't stay here. I turned around to go back.

"No." A hand held onto me. "Don't _go_. Don't_ leave_." The voice plead in my ears. "_Don't go, Kinra._"

You have the wrong person. You're wrong. "I'm _not_ Kinra." I need to fix it.

They whispered softly from behind me. "Yes you _are_." Two pale but strong arms pulled me towards them, putting me into a tight embrace. I wanted to turn around. I wanted to see who it was, who it was that was stopping me from going, but I couldn't. I couldn't move at all. I shivered when I felt their warm breath flutter, tickling my skin.

I gulped, feeling so _exposed_, so _vulnerable_, so _weak_. "How do _you_ know?"

"_It's because you're the person who I feel the most connection to_." Why did that sound so familiar? Why is my heart feeling so... It squeezed as if a welcomed ache. Pleasure pooled into my stomach, heightening my sensitivity. Who was he? Who was he to know who I am? Who?

"Who...are you?" My eyelids felt heavy as I held onto his arms.

He spoke softly to me. "I am yours..."

"Mine...?" I questioned.

"Yes..." Something soft nuzzled against my skin. Something cold brushed against the side of my neck. "I am _your_ peace." I closed my eyes in defeat of the inevitable when I felt something hot linger against my lips.

Peace... Safe... Line... Fix...

_I need to fix it._..

_Fix all of the lies of this world._

* * *

The jingling sound of keys. Was my wait finally over? Then I must pretend. Pretend to be asleep. Pretend to be broken. Pretend, so that they won't know what hits them.

I only felt the presence of one person in this room. A pair of hands unlocked the chains, underestimating my condition to move. When I tested my legs a little bit, I realized that they were free.

It was time. It was time to fix. _Fix it all_.

Immediately, once the chains were off of my wrists, my golden key returned as a bracelet on my left wrist. I quickly summoned my black katana, effectively slashing at the person who was going to transport me to the execution preparation room. When his cry was heard, guards poured into the room, but I gave them no chance to react. I slashed across their throats. _Each and every single one of them_.

A line. A _straight_ line.

I _need_ to sever them all. Sever it all in order to fix. _To fix the lies of this world_.

The first to go down. _The people in my way_. The second to go down. _The people who ran._ The third to go down. _The people who cried_. The fourth to go down. _The people who hid_.

The fifth to go down. _The attackers_. The sixth to go down. _The defenders_. The last to go down. _The old men who sneered at me as a child._

All of them _fell_ like dolls. All of them _spilled_ red like paint. All of them... _Quiet_... Quiet like the soft rain.

_Pitter. Patter._

The droplets of rain trailed down my cheeks like tears of sadness, blurring my vision with speckles of matte red and filters of gray blue. Stretching my arms out, I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of washed out rust.

What else was left in this world of lies? Who else was left that needed to be fixed?

"Y-you..." I opened my eyes and stared at a woman, cocking my head to the side. A very familiar woman. "You monster!" She screeched out at me with an axe in her hand.

Another liar.

I summoned my black katana once more. She ran towards me with a battle cry, raising her axe in order to slice me in half. "I'll kill you!" Her voice, no longer stable, shrieked with unreserved hatred. I dashed in front of her and cut down at her arm. It flew into the sky like a broken doll, while her axe landed on the ground, unused. Blood splattered onto my face as I lazily twirled into position and stabbed her in the shoulder. She continued to screech like a banshee, ringing into my ears unpleasantly.

"Annoying." I pulled out my katana and stabbed her once more in the same shoulder. Another scream ripped out from her throat.

"So annoying." I pulled it out and stabbed it back in. Out, in, out, in, out, in. It was a familiar rhythm, a rhythm that she had used on me before.

She screamed like the pathetic being that she was. "Shut up." I slashed down at her other shoulder.

Her body did not stop moving and shaking like fallen dolls. That was a problem. But...that was a problem that can easily be fixed.

Something was missing. What _was_ missing?

It wasn't _red_. I could not see the _red_. THERE WAS NO _RED_.

_How preposterous_. I needed to _fix_ this. I needed to fix _her_. So I stabbed her stomach, watching something blank spill out into a large pool around her.

She screamed in my ears once more.

I _tired _of this pattern.

Why couldn't she just shut up? She should be _quiet_ like the soft rain. So I tried to fix this by stabbing through her throat.

_There. Peace and quiet._

Finally, all that was left of this world was _truth_.

_The one and only truth_.

* * *

I dragged my feet back to the torture room and stood in front of Alice and Yuu. The iron chair that held me down was still fixed in one place. The rain bounced into pools and pools of tainted water. The red bled into the transparent blue.

I stayed silent, filled with a loss so big, so empty, so cold that I did not know what to say to them both. I grabbed a large blanket and covered them with it before leaving the building. Inserting my Nen into my blade, I slashed down at the walls, demolishing them into rubbles as they fell down like a broken shield over them.

What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do?

A small shriek came from behind me. I watched an old man emerge from a small room. He looked _awfully_ familiar.

"Y-you...! Save me! I don't know what is going on, but save me!" A compelling emotion tugged at my heart as I walked up to him and touched his head. A golden light emerged from my key, bringing out the withered black apple from within him. Enlarging the key, I unlocked the apple and pushed it back into his heart. The black blade touched his shoulder lightly as it immediately manifested the darkness from within him into a dark figure, a doppelganger of the old man. Ignoring the figure, I summoned my dagger and touched his shoulder with it, inserting my own light into him, filling up the empty space.

When the figure suddenly tried to attack me with its fist, I dodged easily by stepping to the side. Without allowing any more time to be wasted, I sliced its head and stabbed it multiple times with my black katana, disintegrating it into thin air. I turned towards the unconscious old man and touched his head, summoning the now golden apple. I immediately locked it with my key before pushing it back into his chest. Without anything left to do, I dragged the old man to his room and went back out in front of the broken rubbles of the grave I made for the two I considered as my family. I stared at it in silence for hours.

As the rain poured harder, the emptier I felt within me.

I wondered what I was to say to Alice and Yuu. Was I supposed to say, "I did it. I completed what I was supposed to do. Saving the Clan."?

But those words were _utter lies_. Just _lies_. But... _Only the truth remained. Only the truth._

So I said the one thing that remained.

"_Rest in peace_."

* * *

**So the next chapter will be the end of Greed Island and I really mean the way end as in the party celebration end. The next chapter will most definitely be longer than this one. Anyways, Midori will come back, along with someone else. And two new truths will be revealed. Now that we're done with one of the most darkest scenes of this story, there will be more romance and angst/hurt/comfort soon. Strangely, there will be a considerable amount of fluff in the Chimera Ants arc. At least for what I had planned for it anyways. Ahahah! Lastly, there won't be any more torture and gory scenes in the future chapters (at least from what I can see so far). If there is any of those types of scenes though, I'll put up a warning in the beginning of the chapter to let you know. :) **

**Please review because it makes me happy and I love reading your thoughts on the progress of this story! :) Thank you~~**

**To thank my reviewer:**

**To TsukinoX: Thank you for the review as always! :D **

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 14! **

**Thank you for all the reviews in the previous chapters! **

**A warning to all of my readers: The characters might be a little OOC in the dreams and because there were a lot of dreams in this chapter, I'm almost tempted to call this chapter, the dream chapter. There is also some abuse. Not sexual abuse but physical abuse. Anyways, this is the end of Greed Island and the start of the Chimera Ants arc.**

**H****appy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter.**** If I did, I might have made Killua the main character for the entire series.**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

* * *

I floated in complete white. It was a space that was never ending and never beginning. It was the essence of emptiness.

_Why._

A soft voice whispered out.

_Why, Kinra._

That was not me. I am not Kinra. I repeated my thoughts aloud to the voice.

_Yes, you are. You will always be Kinra._

Why can't they _listen_ to me? Why are they so _adamant_ that I am this _Kinra_ person? How irritating. How _preposterous_. Were they deaf or were they incapable of understanding speech? Annoyance bubbled up as I clenched my teeth, pushing back thoughts that demanded me to fix this _mistake_.

_It's not a mistake. I know that you're Kinra. After all, you're the person who I feel the most connection to._

I _clearly_ heard the amusement trickle into that _infuriating_ voice! I clicked my tongue and glared into the empty space where I heard that stupid voice. It just _HAD_ to tingle in my ears, echoing like a siren and tempting me to scream out in utter frustration. God, how can such a maddening voice pull me out of this emptiness?

_Kinra. There's no need to feel so...frustrated about me. I'm just worried about you._

Well, you can just learn to back off and stop worrying about me! I am clearly okay about myself at the moment.

_No, you're not. You're hiding. You're locking yourself into the deepest depths of your mind, so that you won't have to face what you did and face what you saw. Kinra, you have to face it. You have to KNOW. You have to UNDERSTAND. You have to... If you don't, I don't know how else I'll be able to...to save you, to heal you..._

What if I don't want to? What if I don't want to be saved? To be healed? I don't deserve it. I deserve to be used, to be used as a weapon. My only choice left... That is to be seen as a... _As a murderer._

Because that is the only fate left for me in this world.

* * *

Bisuke's eyes shined as she drooled over the massive amounts of delicious food placed in front of her. Gon immediately grabbed the first one in front of him and Killua joined him with great delight. They devoured the food, while Suou nibbled on the chicken slowly. Her eyes slowly dimming. The food was delicious as it should be for the celebration for the winner of Greed Island, but a bitter and uncomfortable feeling settled in her stomach, stopping her from enjoying the party at its fullest. Upbeat music powered through the area. People danced and sang like no other. Some cheered with their jug of beer, drinking it in seconds. But she could not see it through rose-tinted glasses. A blue filter flickered back and forth in her vision. She lost her appetite. As she stood up to walk away from the loud celebration, Gon called out to her. "Suou-chan?"

She paused before turning towards him with a wary and tired expression. "Yes?"

"Are you okay?" He was about to go after her, but was cut off when she nodded.

"I just need some fresh air and quiet." When she noticed worry pooling into his eyes, she continued. "I'll be right back." Without waiting for an answer, she walked away, noting with relief that he did not follow after her. Suou soon arrived in a hidden dark spot that blocked the view of the party. Wallowing in her guilt, tears sprung up, staining her view with blurs. The last time she cried was after Midori refused to inform her of Kinra's location. She was so tired. So tired of not knowing anything. So tired of just being protected. All she wanted was to help everyone that she cared for. All she wanted was to find her sister. She just wanted to be finally reunited with Kinra. It was so hard. So hard to keep all her emotions in check so that she would not worry everyone. What on earth was she supposed to do first? What did she need to do in order to correct all of her ignorance? What did she need to know first when no one would tell her anything? When she watched the backs of Gon and Killua, all she felt was frustration. Utter frustration. She was strong, but she was weak. No matter how much stronger she became through training, it never felt enough. There was always someone much more powerful than she. And she could never reach to their level no matter how much she tried. So she accepted it. She accepted it with reluctance. She decided that if she could not keep up with the two, then she would just go at her own pace. With that thought in mind, she wiped away her tears and took a deep breath before heading back to everyone else. From this day on, she no longer wished to cry. She promised herself that once she was strong enough as a person, she would find Kinra herself even if it meant leaving her friends behind. With that resolve, she smiled and celebrated with everyone. If anyone noticed her red puffed tear-stained skin around her eyes, they did not mention it.

* * *

When the party settled down, Gon, Killua, Bisuke, and Suou sat together with an empty box. "So they told you to pick three cards..." Suou repeated.

"Yup! They told me that after picking three cards, I should go to the harbor." He smiled.

"So did you ask them about your dad?" Bisuke asked.

"Yes, but they didn't know where he is right now." Gon answered with disappointment.

"Hmm... I guess there weren't any clues within the game." She thought to herself out loud.

"Well, there was a message saying that at the beginning of the game." Killua interrupted.

Gon muttered. "Well... Yeah."

"So... What are we going to do about the three cards we have to choose?" Suou pointed out.

"How about one card each?" Gon suggested before realizing that only three cards could be chosen.

"You three can choose." Suou said.

"But-"

"Just choose, Gon." She interrupted him. Right now, she had no clue as to where she could start searching for Kinra, so she decided that it would be best to stick with them until she knew what to do first. After all, by staying with them, she had a good chance in becoming stronger in power faster than if she were to travel and train by herself. So she watched them decide the cards and watched them plan on what to do next as she contemplated her newly found goal.

* * *

"HEY KID! THAT'S NOT FAIR! THAT'S CHEATING!" A loud irritating voice boomed out from a familiar older gruff looking man. What on earth was his problem? My eye twitched before I turned my heard towards the person that the man was glaring at.

The first thing I saw was the soft white blur and the crispness of crystal clear blue colors of the sky. A flutter of messy white hair that made my heart sear with unexplainable longing and desire. Those familiar round almond shaped crystal clear blue eyes that narrowed down at me with an intensity that boiled my blood in excitement. Who _is_ he? He stopped running when I did, staring at me with utter curiosity.

"Who are you?" Warmth overpowered my mind at the sound of his voice. Such familiarity. Such safety.

"I... I don't know who I am."

His lips curled upwards in amusement. "I know who you are. You're Kinra." I fidgeted uncomfortably under his calculating gaze.

"Okay." The conversation ended as we both stayed silent, locking eyes with one another. My heart ached when he approached me slowly, getting closer and closer by every minute. All around me, I immediately noticed that a vast light blueness wrapped around in this dimension, creating a new scenery. Puffy white floated around playfully, mirroring the great sky. I shivered in fears of falling from this obviously high height. His fingers caressed my skin lightly, hovering as if unsure as to whether I would back away or not from his touch. A pool of sudden contentment fluttered in my stomach when I once again noticed the extremely close proximity this young man was to me.

He breathed out, causing me to shiver at the feel of his breath on my neck. "What are you doing?" He whispered softly in my ear.

I breathed in before answering quietly. "I was... I was just looking at the sky and the clouds..." A sense of déjà vu overcame me. He chuckled breathlessly.

"I suppose that cloud gazing is serious work." I felt his hands wrap around mine, allowing me no escape. "You didn't change at all, Kinra. What will I _ever_ do without you?"

"But you are without me right now." I said it without even realizing it. When I finally processed what I just told him, I stared at him with confusion. He merely smiled at me and placed his forehead against mine with his soft skin touching me...affectionately.

"Kinra-"

"Don't call me that. I'm not... I'm not _her_." It just felt wrong. It felt wrong to be called _that_.

"Then do you want me to call you Onechayuu?" I grimaced at that horrible name. Whoever came up with that name was utterly weird.

I groaned with annoyance. "Fine. Call me Kinra then." I huffed as I tried to pull out of his grasp. Unfortunately, he was strong enough to stop me.

"Why are you standing so close to me?" An irrational fear and frustration sprouted in me. It was too quick to appear, bursting into explosions of heat. "I'm just... I'm just a murderer! I killed because I wanted to! I killed without any remorse! I killed all those people for no reason at all!" I screamed out to him, angered at how close he was to me and angered at how nonchalant he appeared.

"So? I was an assassin. I probably killed more people than you did. I did it without remorse. I killed them for money. How is that any different from you? How are you any different from me and our friends?" I was about to cut him off, but he continued relentlessly. "You didn't kill without reason. You didn't kill for no reason at all. You killed for revenge. You killed because they killed your most important people and were planning on using the only family you have left for personal gains. You killed to protect her and her future. You killed to protect us, even if it meant destroying your own happiness." My heart churned at his words. "You once told me that someone's inevitable background, actions, and circumstances doesn't make who they are. That they are just mere paths that lead them to reach the current point in their life. That people should judge others based on their personality and how they treat others who are important to them." His voice strained a bit. "Was I wrong, Kinra? Am I wrong? Or are you so far gone that I can't even reach you anymore? Can you not hear my voice? My words?" He shook me by the arms and his eyes shined with hope.

"I... I just don't know anymore. I don't know what to think. I don't know anymore. What do I do?" Tears spilled out as I leaned against him for support. "I can't remember who I used to be. I can't remember anything. I don't know who you are. I don't know our friends or who 'her' is. What do I do? Tell me!"

"Just start with this." His lips gently touched my forehead. My skin tingled pleasantly. "You are Kinra."

He then kissed the temple of my head. "You are Suou's older sister, her only family." My heart fluttered without my permission.

He pressed his lips against my nose. It was a clash of hot and cold. I ended up shivering at the slightest sensation. "You are Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio's friend."

He then touched my cheek with those soft lips. "You are my peace, my puzzle, my companion of sorts, my teacher, and my connection." I breathlessly waited for his next move.

My mind went blank when I finally felt his lips touch near my lips. It burned with innocent satisfaction. "You are the answer and the question, the lost and the found, the friend but not the friend, the opposite and the same." He continued. "You are everything, everything that I respect, everything that I want and more..." My heart pounded faster and harder in my chest. I briefly wondered if I was going to faint soon, but those thoughts melted away when I felt the heat from his skin as his lips hovered over mine. His light blue eyes darkened as I heard him swallow hard before whispering to me. "_You are mine as I am yours_."

Before I had the chance to speak, he leaned forward with his lips capturing mine. I savored the warmth he was sending me and I held onto him tightly with my arms around his neck. He lightly bit my bottom lip, causing me to sigh with contentment, and his tongue flickered as if tasting the unknown. When he pulled away, I breathlessly asked him. "_Yours_?"

"_Mine._" He answered with a pleased smile.

"Who _are_ you?" I finally voiced out my question without letting him go.

"I'm _yours_. I'm..." His light blue eyes, never releasing his gaze from my own deep brown eyes, flickered with contentment. "I'm _Killua_. _Killua Zoldyck. _Nice to meet you, Kinra. _My Kinra._"

* * *

I woke up, grunting, when I felt something solid slam down against my stomach. Groggily opening my eyes, I watched furious green eyes glaring down at me. "Get up, girl." It was Alice's grandfather. I winced when I sat up, covering the bruise forming on my stomach with my hand. "I said, GET UP!" His hand suddenly smacked the side of my face, creating a burning sting that spread from my cheek to my nose. Blood dripped down from my nose as tears sprouted from my eyes. "You think that was painful? Then how do you think the people that you killed felt!" He screamed in my ear before dragging me out of the room with my hair. I kept silent as he continued to scream out profanities and insults. When we arrived at the living room, he threw me inside and sat down on a chair. I shakily stood up, balancing myself with the wall beside me.

"Listen carefully, you stupid girl." His eyes narrowed at me. "You will find out how to go back in time. You will inform me of your progress and then when you're strong enough to control your power, you will first go back in time to immediately kill the leader and to protect the Main Branch Family by killing anyone that gets in your way of killing the leader and by killing anyone that is against the Main Branch Family. Do you understand?" My mind hazed into one of concentration as his words echoed continuously in my head. "This is an _order_!" The word, order, immediately caught my attention. It was an order. I _must_ follow it at all costs.

Go back in time.

_No!_

Kill the leader!

_Please, no..._

Protect the Main Branch Family.

_STOP IT! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!_

Kill anyone that gets in the way of the Main Branch Family and my mission.

_PLEASE!_

"I will do as you say." I bowed down to him as my mind emptied into white.

_Don't do it. Don't! Please..._

_**It's too late. It's hopeless. And there's nothing you can do about it, Kinra. Nothing... Nothing that you can do to stop it.**_

* * *

Killua walked patiently through the soft dark forest, breathing in the familiar scents of warmth. He waited for _her_ to say his name. He continued on the path, reaching the single tree with the lake around it. Sitting down on the grass, he closed his eyes in efforts to peel away at time.

"Killua." _She_ called out to him once more. He smiled and opened his eyes to find her sitting on the branch of that tree. Without stopping, he jumped into the lake, swimming towards her. When he reached the tree, he jumped onto the tallest root that was nearest to the branch. He held out his arms so that she would jump towards him. Her lips widened into the smallest smile before she jumped into his embrace with a light laughter. Killua tightened his embrace as he took in her presence, her soft skin, and her bright deep brown eyes.

"Kinra..." A sudden wave of guilt and sadness poured over him as he remembered how utterly weak _they_ were and how _they_ had to leave Kite because of the vast difference in power. Even though Gon said that Kite will be okay and that he is strong enough to get away, he had an inkling that there could be a chance that he was not alive, but there was no point in staying negative. They could only _believe_ that he was alive and in hiding right now. That was the only way to keep them going, while they trained under Bisuke with Palm keeping a close eye on them.

"What's wrong, Killua?" Kinra's fingers intertwined with his as her other hand caressed his cheek.

"I just have a lot of things going on right now. I don't know where to even start anymore. We finished the game, Greed Island, and then we found Kite..." He leaned against her, drinking in her warm presence.

"And then?" He relaxed as she sat down on the root. The tree created a bench for him to lay down on, so he did. He laid down with his head on her lap as his heart ached with contentment. His hand reached out to touch her cheek and she grabbed that hand, leaning against it with that familiar grin.

"And then we had to _leave_ him with one of the Ants... I... I don't know if he's still alive, but we're all hoping that he is, so that we can go save him when we're stronger." He breathed in and turned his head, cuddling against her stomach. When he looked up, her dark brown hair glowed softly from the sunlight and her skin shimmered delicately, causing her to look like she was luminously fading away. His eyes widened with panic. He reached out and pulled her down towards him. "_Don't leave me_..." He never took his eyes off of her in fear that she would disappear in front of him.

"I won't leave you, Killua." She whispered to him, pressing her lips against his forehead. "I would never leave you if I could choose."

"_Why_?" Dazedly, he caressed her cheek to remind himself that she was still with him.

She smiled sadly and touched his hair with a quiet gentleness. "_Because you are mine as I am yours_."

"Then come back... Come back to _me_, Kinra. _Tell me_ where you are." He felt a burning in the back of his eyes. "I _need_ you. Suou needs you. Gon needs you. _We_ need you. That weird bodyguard is gone for some reason and I just... I wish... I really..." His vision blurred as small tears flowed down. She wiped it away, clearing his view.

"Do you miss me that much, Killua?" Kinra closed her eyes as she whispered to him.

"Yes. I miss you _too much_. I miss you to the point that I might go crazy." He finally laughed out loud. "I wonder if that's why I see you in my dreams. I wonder if that's why I try to look for you in the crowds of people, in everywhere around me. Where _are_ you, Kinra? Where? I miss you. I miss you a lot. And there's _nothing_ that can express how much I do miss you."

"Why do you miss me that much? You have Gon and Suou by your side. Don't they fill the loneliness that you hold?" Her voice echoed with much curiosity.

"Because even though I have them by my side, they aren't _you_." He shivered under her touch. "You...are _everything_, everything that I _respect_, everything that I _want_ and more... Even though Gon saved me from the darkness, he isn't _you. _He isn't my _everything_. He _did_ open up _a new life and a new future_ for me. _But_... _You are_... You _are_ my future." He wondered why he was explaining himself to her when this was probably all a dream. He knew that once he woke up, he would not find her anywhere around him. It would just be Gon, Suou, Bisuke, and Palm in the room.

"Killua." He gave her his utmost attention. "You _will_ see me again. Just _believe_ in it and it _will_ happen." She smiled knowingly as she pressed her lips against his softly. He began to wonder if she would be this forward in real life and somehow he hoped that she would be as he closed his eyes to enjoy this fleeting kiss. "_Because you are mine as I am yours_."

"_Yours_." He breathed out with warmth calmly surrounding him.

"_Mine_." The corner of her lips curled upwards into a pleased expression as he felt everything fade away into white.

* * *

I sat down in front of the makeshift grave that was for Alice and Yuu, attempting to meditate and find my inner power. For the past few weeks, nothing happened and because of this, Alice's grandfather continuously displayed his impatience by hitting me with his cane until my skin turned black and blue and until I bled from my wounds. I sighed as I tried to empty out my thoughts and focus on my breathing patterns. When all sounds ceased to exist and darkness shrouded around me, a small hum lingered within me. I realized that I never noticed this hum before until now. With that thought in mind and because I really needed to show progress in my training, I decided to focus in on it.

In seconds, I almost heard a voice calling out to me. A small whisper.

It sounded like it was saying, "_Come here._"

I bit my bottom lip as I tried to reach out to that whisper with my aura. The soft voice grew louder. "_Closer. Come, Kinra."_

"_Come to me, Kinra._" The voice was clearer than ever, ringing in my ear. I felt my body slump to the ground before I faded into white.

* * *

_There was a flicker of__ light seeping through the darkness.__ It called out to me like a warm siren, tempting me to reach out and touch it. __Once I made a connection with this light, a familiar pull grabbed me. This strangely reminded me of the color black._

_I flew into a white area and landed messily on the ground. My body felt heavy to the point that I could not even move, except for my head. It was so white. It was so familiar. I wondered why. I continued to gaze at the nothingness with no expectations or opinions on this world. When I turned my head to the other side, I found a huge extravagant door. _

_When I examined the door, I heard a booming deep voice echoing in this world._

_"What?" I finally spoke. The first word I have said since the time when something happened to me._

_"I said... Do you wish to live, human?"_

_"Oh. I don't know. Do I?" I whispered._

_"It's either a yes or a no, human. Don't waste my time." A dark figure rolled their bright blue eyes._

_"Oh. Sorry about that." I tiredly grinned before answering him. "Yes. I guess I want to live." _

_"Are you willing to give up something equivalent to this?" The dark figure strode towards me._

_"That sounds familiar... Where have I heard that before?" I was subtly reminded of a space-time witch and a short blonde-haired alchemist. Snorting to myself, I forgot to answer the voice._

_"Hello? Are you listening to me? I just asked you if you were willing to give up something equivalent to living again!"_

_"Oh right. Sorry about that. I guess so." I murmured._

_"Right. So you will be living in another world. Your price... is that you will never be able to go back to your previous world and life. Never be able to head back home and see your family and friends again. I will, however, let you keep your memories from your previous world so that you will not go insane or weird in the head. After all, the human mind can be so weak and fragile." His voice echoed without much concern. I just stared at his eyes. His eyes that were so blue. It was so blue and so ethereal._

_"I don't know if I should feel offended or not." I muttered to myself. "Humph. So why should I do as you say?" It seemed like I had effectively shut his mouth. "Who are you to do as you please with me? To send me to wherever you feel like?" _

_The dark figure roared with laughter. "What a human. You're quite hilarious for entertainment. I'm glad that I chose you to piss off that guy."_

_"What? So I've been reduced to mere entertainment?!" I glared at him._

_"Human, if you really wish to live, then listen carefully." He stood in front of me. "You will be participating in the Game of the Gods. It is effectively called the Game of Balance, due to the fate of the person chosen as my Queen."_

_"What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes._

_"If you manage to remain in the light, then you will become the goddess Hesperides as my future partner."_

_"Partner?" I voiced out._

_"Yes, or as you humans like to put it, as my lover." He shrugged as if it was no big deal. _

_"What?!" I almost pulled out my nonexistent hair in horror._

_"No need to look so disgusted by it. You should feel honored that you'll have such a handsome man such as myself by your side." I felt my eyebrows twitch with annoyance. "Anyways, if you remain in the dark, then you will become Erinyes as a servant of Hades and Persephone. And if you manage to balance between light and darkness, then you will be allowed to stay in the world I send you to as yourself."_

_"I see. So that's why it's called the Game of Balance. I need to balance myself in order to win the game and if I go on either side, it will be game over, since I'll end up with the Gods." I nodded in understanding._

_He sighed to himself. "Of course, there are more rules that we need to cover but we do not have much time to talk about that." He looked up with an apparent frown. "Ah, it seems like you need to go now."_

_"Wait! I still have more questions to ask yo-" Before I could protest and scream about how I did not want to go to another world or not be able to head back home and not see my family and friends again, I felt my body float towards the door. My eyes widened in horror as I watched it open with a bright white light. I always knew I hated the color white. Or did I? Well even if I didn't in the past, I think I did now. _

_"Onwards, human, to another world." My body was flung towards the light as I shut my eyes tightly before feeling the light wrap around me. "Until next time we meet...at the Game of Balance."_

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who story alerted, favorited, and reviewed my story: Austin0425, Vixter9339, DakuJoo-Hela, AngelHearts501, shugokage, Invader Ivy, Joldino-Sidestreaker, kitcat93, megamiaouh, jonica77, faithyhetalia, SlightlyYandereMelissa, velqick, , AshReaper, HatakeSunflower64, Sapphirezz, Arcana The Wolf, silverfirefox1989, shinku27rozen, Nube2013, Jewelsy426, animewuvs, Melissa Fairy, angeldunn1993, lolipopbubblegum, Nymphadora Jackson, Violet Lilypuff, BloodRedFalcon, unlimited tears, CeciliaWinnifer, GuardianLue, DarkValve, milpld, BlueMoon Goddess, Hime (Guest), and The shy maid.**

**So now you finally know why this story is called, "Game of Balance." And if you noticed, the future Kinra and her future enemy talked briefly in this chapter. They will appear again, but I am not sure when they will. Besides that, Kinra is currently in a state of confusion as you can tell. She wants to deny her past and ignore the fact that she misses everyone, but obviously her dream is showing that she wants to remember who she was in the past and essentially grow up to be the person who can be proud of who she is. Suou, on the other hand, is a little depressed because she does not know if Kinra really is safe and feels weaker than everyone around her. Even though she trains to keep up with them, she feels like she isn't strong enough because everyone tries to protect her even though it's out of care and because of the promise they made with Kinra at Heaven's Arena. Not only that, after finding out more about Kinra after watching her video of her fight at Heaven's Arena, she is frustrated that she does not know anything about Kinra, the issues that she needs to face, and everything that could have helped her find Kinra by herself. She realizes that despite all the good intentions that Killua and Gon have, they are holding her back in a different sense and despite caring for them both, she wants to grow as a person without any limits. Anyways, I know that Killua does not appear as much in this one and that Kinra and Killua didn't meet each other, but they will see each other soon in an unexpected way. Look forward to it. **

**If you have any questions, feel free to review about it and I'll cover it in the next chapter in the Author's Note or feel free to PM message me and I can talk about it with you. :) **

**And one last thing, please review my story! I really enjoy reading your thoughts and they brighten up my day considerably. From now on, I will PM message my responses to the reviews for efficiency reasons. :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 15! **

**WARNING: Some characters might be a little OOC or they might not be OOC. I can't tell at this point. You guys can decide.**

**THEY FINALLY MEET! THE TRUTH IS FINALLY OUT! Well, you'll know what I mean when you read the chapter. Hahaha! **

**So I was planning on writing and releasing this chapter last week, but I ended up having unexpected plans like a funeral, the optometrist appointment, and Anime Expo (I bought an adorable double-sided Killua phone strap and a beautiful poster of Kaito Kid from Detective Conan/Magic Kaito 1412). Because of that, this chapter might not be as refined in language, imagery, and grammar as the previous chapters. However, I definitely wanted to release it and not drag it on for so long. Anyways, I also ended up getting more into cooking this summer break, but recently, I'm not sure what to make these days. Anyone have any special or quick recipes (no meat/fowl/milk/butter/mayo/seafood/bread/desserts please) (eggs, greek yogurt, olive oil, fruits, nuts, and rice are welcome) that I could try out? My mom is a health fanatic, so I'm quite limited on what I can make. If there is a dish that I could change the ingredients with no issues (such as quinoa salad), then that would be awesome too! Lately, I made a baked eggplant dish that my mom really liked, but buying eggplant during this season can be a bit expensive when it's not on sale. So if anyone has any recipes (especially the ones that use seasonal ingredients) to share with me, I will love you forever! I'm really getting off-topic, aren't I? **

**Anyways, minus the long author's note again, love you all and happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way or if there are any mistakes (grammar, story plot holes, etc.), TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter.**** If I did, I might have made Killua the main character for the entire series.**

* * *

**Chapter 1****5**

* * *

"I finally found you!" Midori called out to a young man with great relief. His eyes flickered with confusion until he recognized who called out to him. Immediately, he pulled out his whip to protect himself. "Wait! I don't want to fight... Please, you have to listen to me!" She pleaded with him as he lowered his weapon with uncertainty. "I know that it's strange that the Clan's dog is here, trying to just talk to you, but you have to believe what I'm about to say right now."

"Okay... I'll give you a chance." He looked at her with suspicion. "What do you want?"

She wasted no time and immediately went straight to the point. "Kinra needs your help and I can't go back to the Clan's village without another Clan member's power to enter. I don't know how long she'll last in the torture...but since Suou is safe right now, I wanted to go save her during this time and hopefully stop the Clan from sending Kinra to her death. Will you help me?"

He straightened up and frowned. "How do I know if you're lying to me or not?"

"You'll just have to take my word for it, but if my life counts as anything..." She stared at the ground before looking up at him with resolve. "You can take my life the moment we get there."

"Alright..." He used his whip to wrap it around her. "Now tell me... I know that you have certain powers that was granted by the Clan. Which ones do you have?"

"Communication and exiting." Midori sighed with relief when she found that he believed her to a certain extent.

"I know Kinra. If you're really on her side, then she would have taken some kind of precaution or communication with you before letting you leave. Do you have her blood?" The young man's voice hardened.

"Yes. It's around my neck. I think you should be able to see it. It's within the necklace bottle." She pointed it out. "But whenever I try to contact Kinra, she keeps blocking the connection, so I can't tell what is going on with her. The only thing that I know is that she's still alive." The frustration was obvious from her tone of voice. "And I'm worried that she might not last in the torture session!"

The young man's face changed into one of pain. "Who is she being tortured by?" His voice strained.

Midori clenched her teeth with disgust. "The worst person ever... Dani."

Immediately, he paled as he muttered to himself. "Oh no."

"What's wrong?" She looked up at him with worry.

"Dani is known to do whatever she can to break her victims." He explained to her.

"That's pretty well-known amongst our Clan members." She agreed.

"What you don't know is that she's willing to sacrifice our own members to get to her goal. Not only that, they took something from me that they can use to hurt her for sure." The young man clenched his teeth and tightened his fists.

A cold air of forebode dawned over her. "What did they take from you?"

"My golden pocket watch. I gave it to Kinra before she left the village, but she gave it back to me when I saw her again at Heaven's Arena." He closed his eyes in regret. "I should have realized that something strange was going on when they suddenly stopped looking for me..."

"Wait... That means..." Midori shivered at the realization of what could occur. "Dani might use a Clan member's corpse that looks similar to you to hold the golden pocket watch in his hand, so that she can break her in ways that... And if we know Dani correctly, then she might even have Alice's corpse at her disposal to use against Kinra as well." She panicked at the possible scenarios. "We have to get there quick! Yuu, we don't have much time left! It's been months since I was last there! What do we do?!"

"Well, there's only one thing we can do at this point." Yuu closed his forest green eyes as a sense of regret poured into him. "We have to go and save her no matter what." Midori nodded in agreement. "It's too dangerous to suddenly teleport to the entrance, so we're going to have to find the entrance area in person before we teleport to the inner parts of the village." He remarked before opening his eyes and staring up at the sky wistfully.

"I'll lead the way." Midori told him as he nodded and followed her after releasing her from his hold. "Are you sure you want to release me from your whip?" She asked him with confusion.

"Yes. When we are near the entrance, that's when I'll hold you with my whip again. There's no point in stalling right now. Let's go!" He hurried as she tried to keep up with his speed.

* * *

I breathed in and out as I stood comfortably in front of the makeshift grave I made for Alice and Yuu. Last time, I failed and had a ridiculous dream. This time, I must not make a mistake. I winced when my skin ached from the bruises and I shifted uncomfortably from the tight bandages. If I do well this time, then maybe I won't get hit by Alice's grandfather. With that thought in mind, I focused once more on my breathing patterns. I easily found the small hum that lingered inside of me and immediately concentrated on it. Finally, the whisper had arrived.

"_Kinra. Come._"

Where do you want me to go to? Can't you be more clear? I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration. I don't exactly want to get hit again.

"_Strange child. Do you really not know who I am? I even gave you such a clear clue last time._"

Last time? I grunted in annoyance. What a freakin pain in the ass.

"_That's quite rude to say._"

Whatever. I snorted to myself.

"_I'll give you one last hint of my identity. The dream._"

I felt a sudden wave of exasperation. Oh no... Please don't tell me that you're that annoying guy in my dream from last time. I groaned with horror.

"_Ding, ding, ding! You are correct! I am the amazingly handsome guy from your dream from last time! I was worried that your brain cells died after sending you to this world! I'm glad that you're as snarky as ever though!_"

Oh, god. Someone, save me already.

"_Did you call for me?_"

I smacked my face with my hand.

* * *

"I'm going to go on a date with Palm." Gon told Suou with no change in his happy expression.

She twitched at his words and her heart twisted uncomfortably as dark tints of bitterness squeezed at her. "That's great."

"And Kite is still alive!"

"I see." She whispered as her hands tightened around the straps of her backpack. "I have something to tell you two." Killua and Gon immediately gave her their utmost attention. She paused before speaking. "I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" Gon asked. "Where?"

"I'm going to go look for Midori or my Clan. And then I'm going to look for my sister." Her eyes sparked with resolve.

He stared at her with increasing disappointment. "After all of this ends, we can go look for them all with you."

"No." She sighed out loud at which Gon flinched when he heard it. "Just as Kite is important to you, _my sister_ is important to me. I care about you two and I hope you two stay safe, but right now, my sister might need my help more than you two need mine."

"But-"

"No but's, Gon! I'm leaving and nothing you two say can stop me! And it's not like I'll stop contacting you both! You can still call me whenever you want to!" She did not understand why he was being so stubborn about her leaving them both. It was not as if he had a problem when it came to Kurapika or Leorio... She sighed once more.

"Why do you need to leave?" He mumbled with downcast eyes.

"I already told you! I want to find my sister already! And in order to do that, I need to leave you guys! By staying, I won't get anything done!" She turned away from him. "I'm sorry that I can't stay with you to help you find your dad, but you have to realize that my sister is the only person left that I consider as my precious family. And I won't sit here like a weak little damsel in distress when my sister could be dying out there in the world." When she heard nothing from Gon, she finally turned towards the two. Killua silently gave his answer to her by nodding. His light blue eyes reflected of understanding.

"Contact us when you find clues of her location or whenever you miss talking to us." Killua told her as she nodded and hugged him briefly.

"Keep each other safe and good luck." She smiled sadly at them.

"We will." Killua assured her. "Good luck to you too."

"Thanks." She finally hugged Gon. "I'll need it." He kept quiet, but she felt his arms wrap around her instead. So she ended up telling him a small lie. "I hope you enjoy your date with Palm." At those words, he hesitantly dropped his arms to his side as if unsure about everything. When Suou pulled away from him, she gave him a strained smile before waving to them both as she began walking away. "Bye!" The last thing she saw was Gon's eyes, blurring with fierce emotions of confusion, hurt, and... longing, but that was not possible. There was no way he would _ever_ like her in _that_ way, so she put it to the back of her mind as she focused on her task at hand. After all, it was now time to find Kinra.

* * *

The booming deep voice from my memory of the dark figure that sent me to this world angrily growled at me.

"_Just a little more. Concentrate harder, Kinra! Do not break your focus! You need to think! Think of where you want to go the most!_"

I grunted as I thought hard of the past state of the Clan's village. My aura flared around me like a flame trying to grow bigger. It stuck to my skin as if burning it off in a painless way. My breathing slowed until my body began to float from the ground. I never dared to open my eyes in fear that I might be too high up and end up fainting from my fear of heights. For a moment, I thought that my body swirled into a circular motion and was starting to disappear. Panic washed over me and the voice definitely scolded me for my reaction.

"_DON'T LOSE YOUR CONCENTRATION, KINRA! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?_"

In that second, a flash of white and blue popped up in my mind. A familiar smile and a familiar figure. Dammit. I'm doomed. Immediately after that thought, my feet landed on a hard rocky surface that was unfamiliar to the region that the village was in. Where on earth was I now? I groaned and opened my eyes, hoping that I was not too far from the Clan's village. When I found myself in some kind of cave, I smacked my face before wincing from the large bruise on my cheek that I had forgotten about. My hand was stained by the bleeding cut on my head after I had stupidly hit my face from my exasperation. Soon, I noticed two shrieking voices yelling at each other right in front of me. Two heads. Some kind of woman and some kind of man. They were obviously beheaded heads, but they were, for some reason, still alive.

"Ahem." I got their attention.

"Lil' Sis, who is that?" The male asked the female.

"How am I supposed to know? She just randomly appeared out of nowhere!" She screeched right back.

"Can one of you guys tell me where on earth this place is?" I sighed when they continued to ignore me and argue with each other. "OH, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!" I summoned my black katana and slashed their heads in halves. That had effectively kept them quiet. I sighed and turned when I found a familiar young male staring at me as if he had seen a ghost. He shook as he tried to stand and fell to the ground on his back. When he attempted to stand up again, he fell on his stomach with his blood pouring out of him, staining his clothes and his pale white skin. He looked awfully familiar with his fluffy white hair and with those dimming blue eyes. Strangely, I did not like how dead he appeared at the moment. I began to walk over to him but was immediately and effectively stopped by a strange sea creature, who appeared determined to protect the male from me.

"Are... Are you going to hurt him?" The octopus asked me.

I shook my head to his question. "I was going to check how bad his wounds are. Do you know of any place that could possibly treat him medically?"

"I know of someone that could help." He answered me hesitantly.

"Then let's hurry up!" I lifted him carefully on top of the octopus's head and allowed the octopus to use his many legs to keep him securely in place. "I'll get rid of anyone that gets in our way, so let's go." As we ran together, I heard the male whisper to him as the octopus responded back.

"We're heading into the water. Are you going to be fine?" The octopus asked me as he jumped into the water.

"Just go. Don't mind me." I responded with urgency as I dove in and followed to the best of my ability. He grabbed my wrist with one leg, helping me keep up with his speed. "Thanks." I murmured to him. When we arrived at a discreet building, the doctor and the nurse immediately took the male away from us. The octopus first led me to the waiting room before leaving to get some clothes to wear. It was nice and quiet, despite the many patients and nurses.

When he came back, he sat down next to me. "So..." The octopus looked at me. "What's your name?"

"Kinra." I softly responded.

"I'm Ikalgo." I nodded and turned my eyes towards the wall again. There was an awkward silence, but he tried to break it. "So... Who are you to Killua?"

The name, Killua, resounded in my head like a bell chime. I stiffened at how much warmth ached in my heart. "Killua..." I whispered to myself. The young male that almost died in that cave. His fluffy white hair that was stained by his blood. His light blue eyes that dimmed by every minute. How could I not remember? Why did I forget? What was more important? Killua or the order? In one part of my mind, it screamed that the order was the most important, but the other part of my mind screamed that Killua was much more important. Which did I value? Which was the lie and which was the truth?

"Are you okay?" Ikalgo's voice disrupted my thoughts. I gasped and flushed red with embarrassment.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I must have gotten lost in my thoughts again." I murmured to him. He nodded in understanding and waited for me to answer his question.

"Killua... Killua is..." I closed my eyes tightly. "He is the person who I feel the most connection to." I suddenly recalled all the dreams I had and all of the words we spoke quietly and urgently to each other in them. "I am his if he so desires. That is all there is to it." Whispers of '_You are mine as I am yours_' blew through me like a soft wind. The order that had controlled me withered away into dust, disappearing as if it was never there to begin with. I took a deep breath, acknowledging my grasp of my identity as of now. With no one influencing my thoughts, I know who I am. I am _Kinra_. I am _me_ and _not_ the weapon. _I am me_. There was no other way to describe it.

"You..." Ikalgo stared at me.

"Yes?" I turned towards him with more energy than before. It was as if I had been reborn and released to the world as a freed prisoner.

"You really like him, don't you?" There was no trace of embarrassment in his voice. So I answered him in an honest fashion.

"Yes." I never pulled my eyes away from his. "I really like Killua. And it's probably not in a healthy way either." I sighed to myself. "I mean what kind of girl likes a boy so much that it feels like an obsession when they only knew each other for a few months? It doesn't even make sense! In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot about me or if he ended up liking some other girl because I haven't seen him since... Since... Since, AUGH! I don't even know how much time even passed by since we last saw each other!" I rubbed the temple of my head in an effort to calm myself down. "Maybe I should just leave..." I muttered to myself when I suddenly felt a pair of octopus legs grab my hands. "Eh?"

"That is admirable!" I blinked as I watched his eyes swim with something akin to respect. "Your loyalty is very cool! You should not be worried about Killua ever leaving someone like you no matter how much time passes by! He is a very _cool_ guy and he respects those who are very loyal to their beliefs! So don't worry! You should definitely stay, so that you can reunite with him!"

"Eh? Ah... Um... Okay." I was very overwhelmed at the strong emotions Ikalgo expressed in his big eyes to the point I almost twitched. And so, two days passed by in a blink of an eye as we waited for Killua to wake up. During that short amount of time, I continuously meditated under the instructions of the booming deep voice in order to control my stay in this strange land.

"I'm going to go check on Killua now." Ikalgo informed me as I nodded.

"I'll meditate here." I sat in a comfortable position before closing my eyes and focusing on the hum inside of me. He nodded and headed for the patient's room.

* * *

After a few hours as Kinra continued to meditate, Killua finished calling Gon to inform him of his situation and how he needed money to be allowed to leave. Once he put down the phone and revealed that he had long healed from his major injuries, Ikalgo interrupted Killua's thoughts. "Before you go, aren't you going to see _her_?"

"Eh?" He was reminded of a blurred figure with familiar deep brown eyes in the cave. He always thought of it as a mere beautiful dream. But when Ikalgo had mentioned a '_her_,' his heart fluttered from the strong implications. "Who?"

"She was waiting for you to heal." Ikalgo continued.

His blood boiled with impatience. "Give me her name."

"Kinra." His heart stopped. He could not breathe. Did he hear him correctly? He almost had a hard time thinking properly as he heard Ikalgo talking some more about who he had missed for so long. "When I asked her who she was to you, she said that you are the person who she feels the most connection to and that _she is yours if you so desire_." At the last words, his heart churned with pleasant satisfaction and excitement. It was as if his dreams and realities were mixing together. Ikalgo continued without noticing Killua's focused expression. "And then when I asked her if she really liked you, she said that she does-" At that point, he was done with listening to the rest.

"Where. Is. She?" He choked out, unable to contain his eagerness and desperation to see her again.

Startled, Ikalgo quickly led him to the hallway. "She's over here. She said that she would be meditating, but she should be done by now." Killua immediately scanned the room and paused as he saw a familiar small figure, closing her eyes and leaning against the wall in her seat. He swallowed hard before walking towards her until he was right in front of her. Was she real? Was she really in front of him? He spotted a light bruise on her cheek and then the several wounds and bruises on the rest of her body. His eyes narrowed in anger at the person who dared to inflict such injuries on his... He shook his head to push away the remainders of that thought. Soon, his eyes softened and he lightly touched her cheek with his fingers. She twitched before opening her deep brown eyes. Seconds passed by in silence. She stared at him as if she herself was dreaming.

"Killua..." It was _her_ voice. It was no longer a dream. Without warning, he gently lifted her from the seat and carefully embraced her, breathing in her scent and absorbing her presence greedily.

"It's really you. You're actually here, Kinra. I'm not dreaming." He murmured in her ear. "Where were you? We were looking for you but we had no clues... Why did you have to send that weird bodyguard to Suou? What took you so long to come back to me? I missed you... I missed you so much..." As if it was a continuation of their dream, he pressed his lips against her eyelid. "Who hurt you? Ah, it doesn't matter. Come with me. I'm sure everyone else will be happy to see you again. We can even call Suou after all this. She went out to search for you by the way. We tried to stop her, but she's just as stubborn as Gon when she wants to be." He babbled on and on but he could not stop smiling when he heard her giggle softly in his ear. She was real. She was right here with him.

When she touched his face with her small hands, he stared down at her with great intensity, drinking in her appearance. "Killua, calm down. I missed you too. I really did."

"I know. Ikalgo told me that you _really like_ me." He watched with satisfaction on how her cheeks burned red and how she bit her pink bottom lip when he heard her mutter under her breath about how she should have warned Ikalgo to not say anything beforehand. "And he also said that I'm the person who you feel the most connection to and that you're mine if I wish it so." He then saw the coral pink on her cheeks darken in color with her ears blushing red. He found it extremely flattering on her because it accentuated everything about her that he was very fond of.

"Dammit. Why did he have to spill everything?" Her voice strained as if embarrassed.

"You don't need to be embarrassed about it." He kissed near her lips, ignoring the audience around them. It was as if he could not control himself as he pulled her closer to him in a tight embrace. The moment he saw her again, all the emotions that he had sealed away during her time of absence had immediately overflowed out of him in a released form like a tsunami. "I also feel like you're the person who I feel the most connection to...and...that I'm yours if you so desire." His heart pounded in his ribcage. "Since we have the same idea, would it be safe to assume that _you are mine as I am yours_?" When he felt her nod under him, an unexplained amount of joy erupted from him.

"Ki-Killua..." She whispered to him hesitantly. Her warm hands gently touched the bare skin on his back as she hugged him.

"Yeah?" He murmured comfortably.

"C-clothes." He then realized that he only had his pants on. With amusement, he noticed that Kinra had an extremely hard time looking at him and that she did not seem to know where she could touch. He finally quirked his eyebrow.

"I think it's fine, isn't it?" He smirked as he watched her turn red.

"You've gotten quite forward and cheeky while I was gone." She muttered under her breath before pouting.

"Just for you." He caressed her cheek affectionately with his boyish smile widening at every second.

She held his hand on her cheek tightly on top. "Good to know."

"Hmm... But I think it's not just that. I think it's also because I am now free." He said out loud thoughtfully.

"Free?" Kinra asked.

Killua excitedly replied. "Yeah! I'll tell you more about it after we meet up with everyone else." Soon after, her gaze sharpened tremendously and immense amounts of sorrow pooled into her eyes. "What's wrong?" His eyes narrowed in concentration, giving her his utmost attention, as his fingers intertwined with hers, allowing his palm to connect with hers. He caressed her cheek with his hand again, while leaning his forehead against hers, trying to stay as close to her as much as possible. He wished to never let her go ever again, especially now that he knew that she was his as he was hers.

"I don't have much time left." She whispered out, closing her eyes as if pained tremendously.

"What... What do you mean?" His heart felt as if it was torn into pieces at her words.

"In a few minutes, I will need to go back to where I came from." She smiled sadly towards him. "I guess it only lasts for around two days max."

"Where will you be at...?" He hoped that she would tell him of her location, but his heart dropped when she shook her head.

"It would be far too dangerous to tell you."

He was suddenly reminded of the letter that she left behind, revealing how this Alice person wanted her to do the dirty work for the betterment of the Clan. "It's that Clan, isn't it? They injured you, didn't they? They're the ones who are forcing you to do their dirty work! Kinra, _please_ _tell me_. I _don't_ want to lose you again." He pleaded with her as he embraced her tightly. "_Don't leave me_."

"I would _never _leave you if I could choose." Tears sprouted from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. He kissed away the tears.

"You...are _everything_, everything that I _respect_, everything that I _want_ and more... Kinra... You... You _are_ my future." His voice cracked as he held in his growing misery.

"Killua." He felt her small hands pull his face towards hers closer. "You _will_ see me again. Just _believe_ in it and it _will_ happen." Before he could respond, she pressed her lips against his softly and without allowing her to pull away, he nibbled on her bottom lip, tasting her as if convincing himself that it was not a dream after all. When she managed to pull away from him, she breathed out. "_Because you are mine as I am yours_."

He panicked when he saw her slowly fade away luminously like in his dream. "I'll wait for you and look for you." He managed to say. "And when I do, I'll find you...because you are mine as I am yours." He grabbed her arms out of desperation. "Kinra, stay safe!"

"I'll try my best. Killua, I never told you this but to me, you're the sky of my world. Vast and free. Beautiful and far beyond my reach and yet... You are the one who saves me when I need it the most, despite how far you are from me in the distance." She kissed him briefly on the lips before whispering to him. "Thank you for being there for me even if you never knew about it yourself." Her lips curled upwards, allowing him one last look of a serene expression on her face as she disappeared into thin air. Immediately, his emotions were placed in lockdown with any signs of affection fading away from his eyes. After a few minutes passed by in heavy silence, Ikalgo broke it by calling out his name. He looked up as if realizing where he was and what he needed to do.

"Ah, I need to go!" He began to dash off but stopped and turned towards him. "What are you doing? Let's go!"

"Eh?" Ikalgo looked up at him in shock.

"To where my friends are. I'll introduce you." When he saw Ikalgo hesitate, he turned around in disappointment. "Well... If you're not gonna come, that's fine. I'll just thank you then. Thanks."

"Ah.. No... Um... What I mean is..." He panicked. "Is it okay if I come? You know... Someone like me..."

Killua frowned. "...What the heck. So I was the only one who thought that we were already friends?"

"Really...? I can come?" He looked at him almost disbelieving that such an amazing thing could occur to him.

"It's not a matter of whether you can come or not. Are you gonna come?" He yelled out to Ikalgo impatiently.

"Er... Ah! Ye...Yes! I'm coming!" He responded. After Killua iterated that friends do not need to thank one another every time they help each other out, Ikalgo cried in happiness about how he could die in peace now. So when Killua then warned him of the dangers of his world, Ikalgo decided to follow him without hesitation as he called it paradise before his very own eyes. As they exited the building, he teased him relentlessly about his overly drowning affection towards the girl that Ikalgo himself had acquainted with and somehow befriended in the last two days, while Killua flushed with embarrassment and tried to evade any signs of subtle teasing with his witty responses. Nonetheless, to Killua, somehow talking about her made him happier than he had expected even after being separated from her again. It calmed him into being able to focus better on their mission, so he was glad that Ikalgo forced him to talk and reveal more about his Kinra to him. _His._.. Just the thought made him grin too much. He really wasn't sure if this would become a problem or not, but he hoped that it was the latter.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I was back in front of the grave. The overwhelming conflicting emotions I had seconds ago flattened into emptiness once more. A strange heaviness entered my mind as I began to walk back to Alice's grandfather's room. Before knocking, I braced myself and breathed in and out.

"Come in." His voice boomed out from the room. I slid the door open without lifting my head to face him. "Report." I heard a shuffling of feet, indicating that he was standing up.

"I am here to report that I cannot go back in time, but instead, I can teleport if I concentrate hard enough." I prepared myself for another beating, but winced when I found no pain.

"What a useless weapon." He muttered to himself as he sat back down. "I will give you a new order. Listen!" My heart raced with anxiety. "I order you to kill the Leader of the Clan and to kill the person who made trouble for the Main Branch Family."

Order. It was an order. I _have_ to follow it.

_Fight! Fight against his power! _

Kill the Leader. Kill anyone that gets in the way.

_If you don't, you will-_

_**Why do you bother trying? This already happened or did you already forget?**_

_I know... I know, but I can always try! I can always try to fix everything..._

_**No, you can't. You can't fix anything. You are not time. You are not God! There is nothing you can do but watch. Watch how everything falls and breaks. Watch how hope turns into fear and how life turns into death!**_

_Why do you always try to antagonize me? Why? Hope doesn't always turn into fear! Life doesn't always turn into death! You should watch! You should watch how everything rises and builds! Watch how hope sprouts happiness and how death breathes a new life into this world!_

_**I will always try to antagonize you. There is nothing that can change that. After all, I am...**_

_My worst enemy._

As my mind emptied into white, I placed one knee on the ground and touched the floor with my hands. "I understand. It will be done immediately."

* * *

A few days after Kinra left for the palace with a disguise on to assassinate the Leader under the orders of Alice's grandfather, two people finally entered the village discreetly.

"Do you see anyone around?" Midori asked Yuu. He shook his head.

"It's strangely quiet here... I haven't seen a person walk by for at least thirty minutes." He muttered to himself.

"Let's go to the torture room. Maybe we'll find someone there." She whispered to him as he nodded in agreement. Once they made it to the residence area, they shivered at what they saw. Mutilated decaying corpses laid everywhere with one standing out. She cringed at the smell. "Is that who I think it is?"

"I think that's Dani." Yuu managed to say before vomiting. "What the hell happened here?"

"I have no idea but let's just hope that Kinra is still alive." Midori dragged him towards the broken and buried torture room. "Well, I think this is a good sign, telling us that we should get the hell out of here... I definitely don't see Kinra around here." The area echoed of death and was filled with dark energy that unsettled her. When they heard a shuffling of feet, they immediately went into the defensive. As the person turned the corner, they saw Alice's grandfather.

"Grandfather?!" Yuu stared at him, startled at the sudden appearance of his love's relative.

His eyes widened. "Yuu, is that you?" His arms shook as if in disbelief. "I thought you had died! That monster killed everyone, so I thought that she must have gotten to you too!"

"What do you mean?" He asked with suspicion.

"The girl! The weapon! She killed everyone! Thanks to my power, she didn't kill me, but she murdered everyone else in the Main Branch Family! We're the only ones left of the Main Branch Family, Yuu... But don't worry. Everything will come to an end! After the Leader is killed by her, we can regain in power as the Main Branch and no one can stop us with that monster in my grasp!" A crazed and power hungry glint flickered in his faded green eyes.

"What did you order her to do?" He carefully asked him.

"To kill the Leader! What else can I order that stupid girl to do?" Alice's grandfather barked a harsh laughter as he sat down on some rubble.

Yuu's forest green eyes darkened with anger. "Midori." He whispered out to her.

"Yes?" She held in her disgust for the old man.

His fists tightened. "It seems like they did more than breaking her in the torture room."

"You're right." She clenched her teeth.

"I'm going to do all I can to stop Kinra, so I want you to figure out how to break his control over her from him. Do whatever you can to get it out of him and then break it. Break the control at all costs. Torture. Kill. Anything. Understand?" He spoke with a cold harshness.

She hesitantly whispered back. "Are you sure? I mean he is Alice's-"

"I don't care. I don't consider him a part of _her_ family. I'm pretty sure Alice would also agree with me. After all, he did hurt our precious daughter. _Our_ Kinra." He growled as he glared at the laughing man.

Midori nodded in agreement. "Understood. Good luck." She faced the sitting old man with new resolve.

"You too." Yuu whispered out to her before hurrying away towards the palace where Kinra waited for the perfect chance to assassinate the Leader.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who story alerted, favorited, and reviewed my story: shugokage and SlightlyYandereMelissa.**

**As you can tell, Kinra is having a hard time with one person trying to control her and with herself trying to release from that control, but at least she was able to finally meet Killua after so long. And so what actually happened in the torture session was this: After stabbing Kinra until she was unconscious, Dani prepared a scene where she burned a Clan member's body until it is not identifiable and then placed the golden pocket watch in that person's hand. That way, when Kinra wakes up, she can pretend that they had tortured and executed Yuu already. It doesn't help that Kinra was previously tortured and tired out in the previous other sessions physically and emotionally, so she is then more likely to fall for this simple trick. Fortunately, Yuu is actually still alive, but sadly, Kinra doesn't know that. Alice's grandfather became crazy as you can tell by the end of this chapter. He thought that Kinra killed everyone, including his granddaughter, Alice, and Alice's precious friend, Yuu. He doesn't recall everything that happened during the time when he was controlled by the enemy, except for the emotions of wanting to take over the Clan and raising the Main Branch Family into becoming the Main Family. Essentially, he is also a victim, but Yuu does not have any sympathy for him because he not only let Alice die, but is now sending Kinra to her death. As for Suou and Gon, Suou does like Gon romantically, but Gon does not realize that he might actually like Suou romantically and not in a friend way. That's why despite trying to stop Suou from leaving, he becomes confused as to what he feels for her, while Suou doesn't believe that she should be happy when her sister could be suffering somewhere in the world. That's why she never initiates any moves towards Gon that indicates her feelings for him and decides to leave in order to not only grow as a person but also to release herself from the love she has for Gon (Basically, she is putting her love off until she reaches her goal). To me, Suou is a person who would rather grow until she is older and mature enough to handle a relationship before she directly confesses to him and make a move on him, because she can be quite forward. Not only that, she wants her sister to be happy first before going for her own happiness. Lastly, when Kinra and Killua met again, to them, it literally felt like a continuation of their dream, even though they knew that it was reality. That's why they were more forward about their feelings than the usual and the likely. Seriously, there's a lot more I could talk about in that scene, but I'd rather have you guys analyze it instead. Actually, if you analyzed any of the chapters or any particular scenes or if you have any guesses as to what might happen in the future or what something might mean in the future, that would be interesting to read. I would love to hear your thoughts.**

**Other than that, if you have any questions, feel free to review about it and I'll cover it in the next chapter in the Author's Note or feel free to PM message me and I can talk about it with you. :) **

**And one last thing, please review my story! I really enjoy reading your thoughts and they brighten up my day considerably. From now on, I will PM message my responses to the reviews for efficiency reasons. :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	16. Chapter 16

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 16! **

**I actually updated earlier than I expected. The next two chapters might take longer than usual for me to update because they might end up being WAYYYY longer than this chapter. My motivation has been fluctuating (not because of the plot) but because of how I should write the upcoming chapters, which might end up becoming the other reason why I end up taking longer to update for the next two chapters. **

**Anyways, minus the author's note again, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way or if there are any mistakes (grammar, story plot holes, etc.), TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter.**** If I did, I might have made Killua the main character for the entire series.**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

* * *

_A small girl squealed when she saw little piglets running around in the wild. She grabbed her friend's hand, pulling her deeper into the forest. "C'mon! Let's go! This is going to be so much fun!"_

_"But Lily-" Her friend complained, huffing at the leaves that tickled her skin._

_"I promise, Anemone! It will be worth it in the end!" She assured her with great enthusiasm. "I believe it was somewhere around here..."_

_"SEE? We're probably lost and will NEVER get back!" Anemone pulled at her hair with exasperation. "I'm so hungry..." She groaned, kicking at the dirt below her._

_Lily, nonetheless, continued her search, grabbing at the bushes and dragging her feet through a forgotten path. "Anemone, we won't die. We will make it back and even if we are lost, if we keep going straight, we'll get somewhere eventually."_

_"So we are lost." She looked unhappy as Lily laughed sheepishly at their predicament. "It's getting dark, Lily, and I don't know about you, but this place is really creepy." The wind shook the branches above, creating a horror effect towards the trees in all of its blackness. _

_"We'll live. I just know it!" Lily hushed Anemone with a hopeful smile. Suddenly, the bushes behind them shook vigorously._

_"If we're going to live, then what the heck is that?!" Anemone pointed at the bushes with a shaky finger as they hugged each other for comfort._

_"I-I don't know, Anemone!" Lily cried and closed her eyes, petrified of her doom._

_"KYAA!" They screamed when a dark figure jumped out of the bushes. When nothing seemed to happen, they opened their eyes, seeing a young male who looked annoyed at their reaction._

_"What are you two doing in the forest? It's dangerous out here, you know." He sighed and waited for their answer._

_"We... We were looking for the flower bed!" Lily announced with a brave facade._

_"Well, go back to your homes." He grunted, shooing them away with his hand. Lily glared at him in response. "First, I find myself in a swamp, and then stupid pigs go after me... And now I find two little annoying girls in my pathway." He grumbled to himself._

_"If... If it's not any trouble, can you help us find our way back out?" Anemone asked. _

_"AUGH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH TODAY FOR ME?!" He yelled out, startling the two. After a moment of silence, he motioned for them to follow him. "C'mon."_

_"Um. I'm Anemone." She introduced herself, unsure of their future._

_"And you, annoying girl?" He stared at the silent girl who glared at him for his rudeness._

_"Hmph. It's Lily!" She gritted her teeth before crossing her arms and looking at the trees with mild interest._

_The young male turned back around, leading them through the forest. "Well, my name is Ethan. Nice to meet you both."_

* * *

_"Here." An older male handed a branch of flowers to the young woman. He looked away, hiding his flushed cheeks, when she accepted them from him._

_"What is this supposed to be for?" She questioned him, expressing her confusion through her tone of voice._

_"You're named after a flower, aren't you? Figure out the meaning of it!" Ethan groaned as he watched her touch the small yellow flowers with interest._

_"Okay, but it's definitely not a lily like my name." Lily giggled before pulling out a new flower from her bag._

_He sighed with defeat when he saw what it was. A Lily of the Valley. "What the heck... I'm supposed to be the one to give you that first... But since I couldn't find it, I decided to give you an Acacia as I look for that flower..."_

_"Oh, so this is an Acacia!" She blushed, remembering the meaning. "Love and beauty."_

_"Oh, forget this." Ethan walked up to her. "It's to remind you that while your outer beauty may fade through time, your inner beauty will last forever in my eyes."_

_"Are you committing yourself to me?" Lily whispered to him._

_He smiled a boyish grin. "What do you think?" He grabbed the Lily of the Valley and handed it back to her. "After all, I am incomplete without you."_

_"How cheesy." She teased him._

_"Whatever." He then raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm amazed you found this so easily in this part of the country."_

_Lily smiled sneakily. "Well, I have my ways." _

_"Yeah, she sure does." Anemone popped out of the bushes with a mischievous grin. "Finally, you guys are together. It was such a pain, watching you both deny your feelings for each other. I thought I was going to rip my hair out for the rest of my life, but I'm glad that I'll instead have enough hair to last me for the rest of my life." _

_They laughed together, imagining the carefree and happy life that they will all lead in each other's lives._

* * *

_"You're finally getting a child, Lily!" Anemone squealed as she jumped up and down, expressing her happiness._

_"Yes and I'll be depending on you to help me with raising the child during the first few years, since Ethan has to help with my job as I rest." Lily smiled tiredly, laying down on her comfortable bed._

_"Oh, you know me, Lily. I'll always help you. I'm just so excited for that baby!" She grinned widely while Lily laughed. "I bet it's going to be soooooo cute! Just imagine... The chubby cheeks, big innocent eyes, and rosy tint in your child's skin!"_

_"Anemone, I'm definitely making you her godmother. There is no other option but you in my opinion." She smiled as she pat her large stomach gently._

_"I agree. I mean look at her fangirl over our child." Ethan intercepted, barking with a loud laughter._

_"Hmph. Whatever, you two. Laugh all you want. Wait until your baby is born and then let's see if you continue laughing." Anemone pouted at the couple, crossing her arms, before giggling once more._

* * *

I watched them silently from afar. At the table, exquisite food was spread out, fitting of a noble. My eyes narrowed in on the two woman. One chewed on the food slowly, while the other made no move to eat what was in front of her. "It's delicious, isn't it? You should eat more. It's not good for your body if you don't eat." The woman said to the Leader, putting food onto her plate. "Don't be stubborn about it, okay?"

As I thought, only that woman is eating the food, but the Leader isn't. It's been a few days already and I'm starting to notice how strange their behaviors are. For the past few days, only that woman ate food, slept on a bed, and read the documents on a desk. The Leader only sat on her throne, waiting for the next person to arrive. Was the Leader being controlled by someone? Just like the Main Branch Family? In that case, do I want to kill the Leader? It was not as if she was doing harm to the Main Branch Family in the past. All I remembered from the letter that Alice gave me was that she was a kind leader who ruled with great knowledge. That means that the woman who is signing the documents is the one who is currently ruling with an iron fist. But why...? A strange pull from the back of my mind tugged with thoughts of not caring of the reasons and to just assassinate the both of them to complete my mission already, but I shook my head, concentrating on the situation at hand.

"No one will take me away from you. I'll bring her back for you. Don't worry. Even if he is dead, I won't leave you. So you don't need to worry about anything." The woman whispered to the Leader over and over again, brushing the Leader's hair gently as the Leader laid down on her bed. I was somehow reminded of the fake judge that disappeared after my match with Yuu. He had told me that my freedom and my life will be his to take. That means my life will be in danger as long as the two lived. Considering that the Leader could get in my way and try to have me killed, I decided that it would be best if I killed both of them. That way, I get my mission done and my life will be secured.

* * *

Yuu arrived safely at the palace, hiding discreetly from the guards. It was a huge place, decorated with jewels and gold, shouting out to the world of their riches. He watched the sun sparkle its light onto the clean marble floor, making the darkness to grow even darker than before. It was indeed the perfect place for hiding and scouting. With those thoughts in mind, he immediately scouted the entire palace in hopes that he can find Kinra, who might be doing the same thing as he was. Within a few hours, he finally spotted another person who tried to blend in with the darkness of the shade. "Kinra?" He called out, hoping that he found the right person. When she turned around, shock was not the right word to describe her expression. It was more of disbelief and anger. "Kinra, it's me. It's Yuu! Don't you remember me?" He desperately wished for her to realize that his death was a mere ploy to break her, but when he saw the tint of life in her eyes disappear, he realized the extent of harm the torture did to her mind.

"You're lying. You're not real. Don't lie to me anymore." Kinra backed away, growling with mistrust. "Yuu is with Alice now. Don't play this sick game with me. I don't know who you are but if you appear in front of me once more in that appearance, I cannot guarantee that your life will be safe anymore." The moment Yuu stepped forward, she disappeared, fading into the darkness. "Stay away from me, you fake." Her voice echoed and rung in his ears like a painful itch.

His resolve to save Kinra grew stronger after this encounter. Yuu tightened his fists in frustration, unable to decide how he could convince her of realizing that he was the real Yuu and that the Yuu she saw during her torture was a mere fake. What to do now...

* * *

The moment the woman left the room, I landed right on top of her with my katana released. Swinging my sword, I stabbed her through the heart, but her skin felt oddly absent of heat. An ominous wave of death washed over me as I flew into the wall. The woman who had left before had come back with a murderous intent. Gathering my thoughts once more, I stood up with my katana out. The Leader, who should have been dead, stood up from the bed, releasing her staff.

"How _dare_ you..." The woman growled with her eyes shining crazily towards me. "How _dare_ you touch her with your disgusting hands..."

"To kill or to be killed." I whispered. "That is the only choice I have left."

"You already took everyone from her! I won't let you take her again!" She screamed, throwing daggers in my direction. The Leader took her staff, using it as a way to beat me down. I rolled across the floor, dodging the attacks one by one. "Die, die, die, DIE!" I kept my eye on the woman, ignoring the dead Leader who moved as if alive. Blocking every hit by the staff, I growled in annoyance, activating my Yochigan in an effort to see how I could immobilize the Leader. After all, I needed to get rid of the Leader somehow in order to attack the woman. I watched a white outline of the Leader's see-through body form with her eyes oddly blank of the usual white and black. Whenever our weapons clashed, I spotted a tint of blue on the parts of her body that enabled her to move. If I cut through that blue part, then maybe... I swung my sword towards her, but was blocked effectively by the woman.

"I won't let you. Not anymore. I gave you too many chances to survive and leave, but you never took it in the end, you trash!" She screamed as she managed to kick me in the stomach. "Your freedom, your life... They will all be mine to take, Outsider!" The image of the fake judge overlapped the image of the woman's grinning face.

"You..." I murmured, getting up from the ground. "You will tell me what happened here before!"

* * *

_"Oh! It's a baby girl, Lily!" Anemone smiled, wiping away the sweat on Lily's tired face. _

_"Then I'll name her Rose. Ethan would like that very much." She murmured. "Where is he anyways? I thought he was on his way here?"_

_"I'm sure he'll be here in a few seconds!" She assured her. "I'm going to go check the entrance to see if he arrived. I'll be right back!" Anemone placed Rose gently in Lily's arms._

_"Hurry up and come back, okay?" She called out to Anemone as she waved. Once she exited the room and headed for the entrance of the palace, she smelled hints of rusted iron. She shook with sudden fear and omen. Hurrying, she finally reached the entrance halls, falling to her knees at the sight before her. Several guards laid dead and unmoving, but what paralyzed her was the scene of Ethan's eyes dulled and lifeless with his blood staining the white marble floor below him. "No... No, no, no... Nonononononono!" She shakily stood up, dashing to Lily's room. "LILY!" She screamed her name through the halls. Fearful of the dangers, she crashed into the door and opened it, revealing Lily's blood that spilled onto her pure white skin and her silky bed sheets. Anemone walked towards her with her tears flowing down relentlessly. When she looked for Rose, she spotted nothing but the corpse of her only best friend, her Lily. Not only was Ethan dead but now Lily was dead too with Rose kidnapped from her world. She was all alone in the world and as her name states, she was now the forsaken one. Crying hard, she vowed vengeance towards all the ones who dared to ruin their happiness. She would kill them all. Everyone who gets in her way._

* * *

"I have no need to do such a thing." The woman threw more daggers and dashed towards me. "You will die for your sins!" I moved closer to her, ready to grab her head with my hand in order to release her golden apple. "I won't let you!" She kicked me away before I had to chance to touch her, pinning me to the wall with her daggers. Ripping my clothes from the weapons, I summoned my katana, ready to stab the woman before me when a familiar young man stood in front of me.

"Stop it, Kin-chan." The man who looked like Yuu said to me in that familiar voice. "I won't let you kill them. Please."

"No..." I muttered. "No... No. No! NO! STAY AWAY!" I screamed, pulling at my hair. Before I could say more, warm liquid landed on my skin, dripping down. It was red. Red and warm. Smelling like rust. Rusted metal. I looked up, seeing the fake Yuu grip his shoulder as he turned towards the moving Leader who had stabbed him near the heart.

"Why are you doing this, Leader? You are known as the kind leader who ruled with great knowledge! Why would someone like you do something like this?" He yelled with tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. He waited for her to respond but the Leader kept silent.

"Who are you?" I asked him. Yuu was dead. The Leader was dead. Then did that mean that everyone was dead? What was the lie and what was the truth?

"I am Yuu, Kinra. What do I need to do to prove it?" His forest green eyes bored into mine. Pulling away from his intense gaze, I stood back up. My back ached from the pain, my wounds reopened, and my energy decreased. Pushing Yuu to the side, I immediately sliced the Leader's arms and legs, disabling any movement from her, as I watched the blue fade away from her see-through figure. As her body fell to the ground like a lifeless doll, I heard the battle cry of the woman when it was too late. She stabbed me with her dagger through the back of my shoulder. I barely dodged her attack from hitting the vital areas as I groaned, sliding across the floor.

"Disappear already!" I screamed with my irritation blowing up in me. Throwing my Nen-covered katana and stabbing her through the leg, blood drizzled down from her wounds. I summoned another katana once more and slashed down on her, creating a slash diagonal across her chest. She gave a loud piercing cry of pain before managing to kick me into the wall once more, making my wounds worse.

"I will have my revenge, trash." The woman faded away in the darkness, enveloping us in emptiness. I grunted and headed for the Leader's unmoving body. Raising my katana, I was about to slash her body in order to make sure the Leader could not move anymore in any way possible when Yuu stopped the blade from moving any further.

I glared at him. "Get out of my way."

"No." He breathed in deeply, focusing his eyes on mine. "Stop, Kinra. It's over. It's done. You don't need to do this anymore."

I clenched my teeth together. "I have to-"

"You don't need to anymore or do you still think that I am a fake? What can I do to prove you wrong? That I am real and that the dead body you saw during your torture session was a fake me?" His voice lowered, softening his pained tone.

Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes. "You're lying. You're a liar. Yuu is dead. YUU IS DEAD! They killed him. They burned him. They humiliated his body with Alice's. I... I won't allow you to take his face! TO PRETEND THAT YOU'RE HIM! TO MAKE ME PLAY THIS SICK GAME OF TRUTHS AND LIES! WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" I screamed, frustrated with the world around me.

He grabbed the blade with his bare hands. "Then take this blade and stab me with it! FIND OUT YOURSELF IF IT'S JUST A SICK GAME OR IF IT'S THE TRUTH! DID YOU SEE HIS FACE? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF THAT REALLY WAS ME? I LOST THE WATCH WHEN I FOUGHT AGAINST THE MEMBERS OF THE CLAN, SO IF THE WATCH IS THE REASON WHY YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS ME, THEN YOU NEED TO REMEMBER! I am not the watch. I am not that burnt body! I AM ME!" Blood oozed from the wounds on his hands.

"Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. SHUT UP! You don't know anything. You don't know what they did! You didn't see. You couldn't see. So please... Leave me alone." My hands caught the teardrops as I stared at the ground.

"I don't know what happened to you exactly. I can always make guesses. And yes... You're right. I didn't see. I couldn't see. But that doesn't mean that I will leave you alone. _You were hurt and don't deny it. I could see it. And because I saw it, I won't just let you live in a lie that was created by the ones who hurt you. You can hate me. You can even stop talking to me, but I won't stop being who I am. And not even you can stop me._" I saw his image blur with the Yuu of the past of when he had previously protected me from the Clan members who had harmed me. His voice quivered with silent determination. "You were always such an adult. Trying to take on everything yourself. Trying hard to hold in the pain, the sadness, the truth, so that the lies wouldn't hurt you any further. But now you don't have to do this anymore, because now I am here for you. I am here, Kinra. From now on, you won't be alone. From now on, you don't need to take on everything yourself. You don't need to hold in everything. Now... Kinra..._ I will always protect you. All I want is for you to smile. Smile as if the world opened up endless possibilities that will lead to your ultimate happiness_." Nostalgia dawned on me. Those words were the same as before. The words that only he and I would know about.

"Y-Yuu..." I cried out. He fell to his knees, breathing hard. Blood drenched his clothes, staining the white marble floor.

"Th-that's why... I..." Yuu slumped onto the floor as I held him gently in my arms, noticing his severe blood loss. At this rate, he could die.

"I believe you're the real Yuu, so stop talking already! I'll take you immediately to the infirmary of this place! So talk to me once you're all healed." New tears blurred my view as I lifted him from the floor, intent on moving places.

"Kin-chan." He took another deep breath. "You do realize that the infirmary is on the other side?"

"I know, which is why I'm going now!" Running fast, I took account of the dimming light in his forest green eyes and the blood dripping down from my arms. Every second counted.

"Kin-chan. Listen closely." He gripped my shirt to get my attention.

"What is it?" I continued to run without stopping. "I'm listening."

"I'm proud of you, despite all that had happened. I want you to be happy. I'm sure Alice would want the same thing for you. Soon, you'll be free from her grandfather's hold and you'll be able to meet up with Midori at the Main Branch Family's village." I heard him sniff a little bit before continuing. "I'm sorry that I can't keep my word and that I'm not strong enough to save you. But... You know that I will always love you, right?"

"Of course and I will always love you too! But please, Yuu... Stop talking or else you'll be wasting more of your energy!" I pleaded with him as he gave me a crooked grin.

"Don't forget about Alice and I. Stay safe, my family... My Kinra." His voice cracked. "I love you. I just wish..." _We had more time together._

"We're here, Yuu! Everything will be alright now!" I looked at Yuu when I saw the light disappear from his eyes. "Yuu...?" I shook him but he did not respond. "Yuu? YUU!" I placed him on the bed, checking his vitals, which became nonexistent. "No..." I suddenly recalled killing 'death' with my dagger. Maybe that would work. I activated my Yochigan, but I did not see the imps like I did before. Where were they? They had to be somewhere! C'mon, appear! If you're death, you have to be here! You can't just take him away from me like this. I won't lose another again. I refuse to let him go!

_I can only use that power once on each person._

"Where are you. Where are you! WHERE?! COME TO ME! COME HERE! WHY?! WHY DON'T I SEE YOU?!" I watched the blue seep out of him, leaving a white outline of his body and a blankness in his eyes. Just like the Leader. Just like... "Why... Why do you have to leave me? Why does everyone... WHY?! WHY!" I screamed out with my frustration and disappointment in myself heightening at every moment.

* * *

_"You can hate me. You can even stop talking to me, but I won't stop being who I am. And not even you can stop me."_

* * *

"How can I hate you? I can never hate you. I told you... I love you... You're my family... My Yuu." I held his hand in my own. "Even if I want to stop talking to you, I can't even do that when you're dead. What am I supposed to do then?"

* * *

_"I am here, Kinra. From now on, you won't be alone. From now on, you don't need to take on everything yourself. You don't need to hold in everything. Now... Kinra... I will always protect you. All I want is for you to smile. Smile as if the world opened up endless possibilities that will lead to your ultimate happiness."_

* * *

My tears drenched the sheets below him, muffling my cries from the world.

* * *

"With the power to defeat the Gods and to fight with the Gods, she has the choice of saving the world, balancing the world, or destroying the world as she wishes. That is how powerful that weapon should have been, which is why the power should have been time, since time is what no human can attain, but I was wrong. She was a useless weapon. One that could only teleport if she _concentrates_ hard enough. How laughable. I summoned her in hopes to raise the Main Branch to victory and power, but it ended up being the opposite." Alice's grandfather made no move to attack Midori as she listened to him talk.

"Since you both are connected, I guess only death would separate you two?" Midori interjected.

He closed his eyes, leaning against the wall peacefully. "I suppose so. Either one of our deaths can sever the connection between us."

"I see. Thank you very much for telling me." She slashed his jugular vein quickly with her hidden dagger, not allowing him to react to her statement. "Farewell..." Cleaning her weapon with a cloth, she returned it to its original position. After hours of burying the dead and clearing away the rubble, she found herself sitting down on a makeshift chair, waiting for the two to arrive. When she saw someone from afar, she stood up before realizing it was not the person who she was waiting for. Instead, it was someone who she did not expect to see at all. "What are you doing here? In fact, how did you get here?" Midori called out to her. It was Suou, standing tall and proud.

"You left trails behind, so I followed them and it led me to here. Where is this place?" She looked around with a cautious expression. "It seems abandoned and empty..."

"This is a part of the Clan's village." Midori answered her.

"What?" She examined the area carefully. "This place is...?"

"Yes." Midori sat back down on her chair.

"Well, I'll just ask you about why the village is like this on another day. But tell me where Kinra is. I won't forgive you if you tell me that you can't." Suou was ready to go against her at all costs.

"She's at the palace. She should be back with Yuu soon. I hope..." She never moved her eyes away from the direction the palace was at.

"Take me there and on the way, update me on everything that happened. Tell me EVERYTHING. Leave anything out and I won't forgive you." Suou dared Midori to go against her, but she instead sighed and motioned for her to follow.

"It's been hours. I guess it's reasonable for us to go check on the situation. Let's go." Midori dragged Suou with her as they raced to the palace at top speed. "Let's get there by the end of the day at least. Keep up or else I might have to leave you behind."

"Not a problem. Go at your fastest." Suou ordered.

"Understood, young heiress." Midori gave her a crooked smile as Suou sighed before giving her a small smile in return.

* * *

_"Kin-chan. Listen closely." He gripped my shirt to get my attention. _

_"What is it?" I continued to run without stopping. "I'm listening."_

_"I'm proud of you, despite all that had happened. I want you to be happy. I'm sure Alice would want the same thing for you. Soon, you'll be free from her grandfather's hold and you'll be able to meet up with Midori at the Main Branch Family's village." I heard him sniff a little bit before continuing. "I'm sorry that I can't keep my word and that I'm not strong enough to save you. But... You know that I will always love you, right?"_

_"Of course and I will always love you too! But please, Yuu... Stop talking or else you'll be wasting more of your energy!" I pleaded with him as he gave me a crooked grin._

_"Don't forget about Alice and I. Stay safe, my family... My Kinra." His voice cracked. "I love you. I just wish..." We had more time together._

* * *

I closed Yuu's eyes and covered him carefully with the white blanket before bandaging my wounds and leaving the palace in the shadows. "I need to meet up with Midori. I'm sure that's what Yuu would want me to do."

Grunting and wincing, I leaned against the wall, reaching the area of the river. Less people were likely to be in this area. Gathering all of my strength, I dragged myself through the forest, using the body of water as my guide back home. I cried out when I tripped over a hidden root of a tree, opening my wounds once more. Breathing heavily, I found blots of black and white in my vision and my head becoming lightheaded. When I tried to balance myself, I ended up slipping to the ground with my legs lacking in energy. The rush of the water beside me roared in my ears. Splashes of cold liquid drenched my clothes as my body began to slide down into the water. What do I do now? I can't move at all. Without struggle, I was pulled into the river, filling my lungs with water. I gagged and splashed to get out but my body never listened. The moment I was able to breathe in air was the moment I was sucked into the water, losing all consciousness as I faded into the darkness.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who story alerted, favorited, and reviewed my story: shugokage, SlightlyYandereMelissa, erisvendetta, Feldlerche, and MidoriEmerald13.**

**I don't have much to say for today for some reason. I just hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. The next two chapters might be happy or sad. It depends on how you look at it, I guess. Yuu did die for sure. And the first three memories of the chapter are the memories of Anemone (the woman) with Lily (the Leader) and Ethan (Lily's husband). I don't know if you noticed it or not but Rose/Suou is the daughter of Lily and Ethan and the Main Branch Family's first assassin (Kinra can be considered the second assassin sent) kidnapped Rose from them and raised her (together with the Elders) in a hidden area of the Main Branch Family's village. **

**If you analyzed any of the chapters or any particular scenes or if you have any guesses as to what might happen in the future or what something might mean in the future, that would be interesting to read. I would love to hear your thoughts.**

**Other than that, if you have any questions, feel free to review about it and I'll cover it in the next chapter in the Author's Note or feel free to PM message me and I can talk about it with you. :) **

**And one last thing, please review my story! I really enjoy reading your thoughts and they brighten up my day considerably. From now on, I will PM message my responses to the reviews for efficiency reasons. :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	17. Chapter 17

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 17! **

**Somehow, I managed to write chapter 17 quickly and I then managed to change parts of what I had planned before. I don't know when chapter 18 will come out, but look out for it. It might take a while though. Who knows. **

**Anyways, minus the author's note again, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way or if there are any mistakes (grammar, story plot holes, etc.), TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter.**** If I did, I might have made Killua the main character for the entire series.**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

* * *

_11:50pm. That was the start of my ending time. Who would have thought that this impeccable time would be what led to my inevitable downfall?_

_If I had slept at the time that I always slept at, if I had slept at 11:00pm sharp, could I have escaped such fates?_

_But I guess it would not have affected anything. No matter what time I could have slept at, I would have eventually faced this dilemma. Oh... There was only five more minutes remaining before I have to face my fate. If the world I lived in was a matter of being on one stage and ending one act of a play, then would this game I plunge into a matter of another chance to be on stage? _

_A society of corruption, destruction, and greed. That aspect will never change, and yet, instead of that being the problem, it is more of the matter of whether a person is accepted or not in a group that they consider as their community. Because of the differences in expectations and desires between the Old Souls and the others, the Old Souls could not stand the society of our world and felt as if they were originally not a part of that world, which caused their longing for something to grow stronger than before. So now I can conclude that it is not our society that is the problem. It is the alignment of what we define as personal satisfaction. That is why no matter what world we live in, when our definition of personal satisfaction aligns with society's, we feel the concept of community and acceptance. _

_And yet, the definition of personal satisfaction blooms from the concept of choices. Choices are the possibilities that lead to so many futures. With each choice as a color, we can paint any picture we desire until the end of our lives. As I once said before, we are essentially the embodiment of our choices. That ability to choose was the greatest freedom and without it, life was..._

_Time is a linear variable. It never moves backward. It only moves forward. But when that iron law is shattered, what would be the greatest punishment? Death? No. Death would be too kind of a punishment. Then... What is the greatest punishment? After all, if time was not linear, if we had the ability to choose different paths at certain points of our lives, we would not be who we are now and that in itself is a sin. It is an error that must not be forgiven. And that is because we ARE the embodiment of the choices that we take. Our identity is our choices. Not our name. Not our pride, greed, and happiness. It is our choices._

_That leads into the concept of universal connection of fate. Could it be coincidence that everything I read, watch, and experience end up in my life one way or another? No. It is all connected. Whether you believe in the greater or not, everything that passes your way becomes a part of a truth that you discover of the world. And as you piece together each part, you will begin to understand the bigger picture of the truth. The game. The game of balance._

_The greatest punishment. What is the greatest punishment? That is being stripped of the greatest freedom. The freedom and the ability to choose. If that is the greatest punishment for messing with time, then what is the greatest punishment for using abilities beyond human capabilities? _

_I suppose that can be for another time because we can now question what is the most important to someone after being stripped of the greatest freedom. _

_The ability to exist is the next important freedom after the ability to choose. Why is it the most important after choice? It is because if choice represented life, then existence represented our imprint on the world. But if existence is merely an embodiment of other people's memories, then why do I exist? Why am I here? If no one remembers me, then do I not exist? Am I merely a folly in this game of balance? _

_**You exist because existence is not an embodiment of other people's memories. It is merely the embodiment of your own memories. No one, except yourself, can determine that you exist in this world. **_

_You're wrong! Then why do I feel as though I am-_

_**The first move is mine to make and your failure to understand the urgency of the situation you are in right now will become your undoing. **_

_You're wrong. This game of balance has just begun. You might make the first move, but I will take the next. You might say that existence is the embodiment of my own memories, then how do you define loneliness? Can one say that they exist when they are all alone?_

_If the memories of others show that I exist, then it merely gives us the impression that we cannot live without other people. However, that is a folly. Even if someone remembers me, it does not mean that they will attach an emotional meaning to my existence. I could just be the girl who fought in battles. That is the not the same as existing. However, it also does not mean that my own memories will show that I exist, because once I die, the sign of my existence will disappear. Therefore, through both, one can exist in a world. From this notion, I can assimilate that existence is the embodiment of memories. The existence is the past. The life is the present. Then what of the future?_

_The future is a blurred maze. It is filled with paths that can lead to two outcomes. One is the trial and the other is avoidance. The trial may be viewed as an error, but in fact, it is the path that will give you the knowledge and wisdom to strive for a "better" future, while the avoidance is the true error. It will give you nothing but temporary ease for the future. There is nothing to learn from the avoidance and that in itself will be the falling._

_**But that is only if you have the greatest freedom, which is the ability to choose. Without it, the future is not a blurred maze, but a chosen linear path. Like time, the future will become a single linear variable. Because of this, even if you choose whichever path, the trial or the avoidance, you will fall until you can fall no longer. And even as you hit the bottom, there is no way to swim upwards if someone chose for you to stay at the bottom forever. This means that both paths are the true error because it will give you a hazy outcome that is neither happiness nor misery.**_

_What is forever? Time might be a single linear variable, but who determined how long forever was? Only humans did, but who are we to judge how long forever is when we do not live forever as we think of it? _

_As I once said before, the dirt in the water can be something special and rare and because of this, a community cannot be a community if it is just based on the memories of others because that would mean that the tainted water will forever be alone without a community or a family to call its own. Then what can be defined as tainted? Society might define it, but it is actually us as individuals who define what is tainted or not. After all, the greatest judgment is through oneself and not through others. With this concept in mind, we can determine that it is actually us as individuals who define how long forever is. So if I judge forever as an unlimited amount of time, then so be it. That will be what it will be defined as._

_Time is short. I should have trained more. I should have planned out my actions accordingly. What good is it to know the future but not do anything worthwhile in it? I did not want to be the ultimate Outsider, but at the same time, what good is it to interfere with the given path?_

_**It is never good to interfere with the given path...but if you did not want to become the ultimate Outsider, you should have taken action anyways. It does not matter after all, since any path that you take becomes the true error. And within those paths, one can discover the differences between the forces that connect to each path and choice taken. In fact, you could even see that light and darkness were not one in the same. They are not one entity, just as love and hatred are not one in the same. They might have the same amount of purity, but the consequences of each differ in quality and quantity. The harm is much higher in hatred and darkness than in love and light. With hatred, it deteriorates the body and the soul into nothingness. In that sense, they will become an empty shell in which there are no choices or memories within them. And with that, we can determine that hatred kills the existence and life of a person.**_

_That might be true. However, love also has the ability to match up to that consequence. Once love reaches its full potential, it can immediately drop down to the lowest of the low, where the harm is immediate and as high as it would be in hatred. The body and the soul, overnight, can become nothingness. In that sense, they will become an empty shell in which there are no choices or memories within them. Instead, the memories they held of the love are scorned and that past begins to haunt the world that they created. With this reasoning, it can be seen that both love and hatred are equal in consequences._

_NO! NO! NO! NO! YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT! What is the purpose that the blue color serves? You MUST think about it! Oh. Please. Can't anyone tell her what to do? Can't anyone warn her of the game that she must play? It's all about the balance and the opposing forces. The community and the family that will serve as the catalyst for this all... Please... Before the game begins... Someone..._

_**That was your first mistake. When you stopped thinking about it, I was able to execute the first move towards your inevitable checkmate. **_

_NO! There is still time to prevent this._

_**Time cannot be stopped. Time cannot be interfered with. You of all people should know this. You once said that we are essentially the embodiment of our choices and that by choosing the choices that you took, you are who you are now. That can never be changed, Kinra. **_

_I know... I know... But one can still hope-_

_**Hope is for the weak. **_

_No. Hope is for the people who trust and take action for their aspirations._

_Hope. Hope is trust. Hope is the core of human beings. It is the very definition of humanity. Because we can hope, we put the past away, focus on the present, and live in the future. With hope, we can drive away the borders that society creates in order to separate us all from recognizing that we are actually one species that have no inferiority or superiority within us. We are all human. We are all part of humanity. We are the very beings of hope. _

_**And yet, humans are the very beings who take down hope. They are the ones who cannot appreciate. They are the selfish, the greedy, the desperate, the needy, and the dissatisfied. The very definition of humanity is not hope. It is desire. They desire more than what they already have because of their greed. They desire to live happier than before no matter the consequences that others might experience because of their selfishness. In the end, humans will bring the end to themselves.**_

_If we agree to both mine and your opinion, then it further demonstrates how important this game of balance is. We can conclude that to be human is to be both desire and hope. If imbalanced, then they cease to be human. _

_**And you would know that because of the four years that you spent with Suou... Betrayal, disgust, inequality, misunderstood, disadvantaged, and-**_

_That's enough. You can stop now-_

_**And being looked upon as the product of inferiority. A child and a female. Both weaknesses. Added on to that, you were taking care of another child, who was also female. Both are products of weaknesses. A pile of-**_

_STOP! It means nothing! We are not weak! We were stronger than most of the adults we even encountered out there! I will not allow you to speak ill of us-_

_**Then why did you choose to fall into the schemes of society?**_

_I needed... I needed to protect her. It was my mission._

_**In the end, who are you to judge what the definition of humanity is when you yourself cannot even fall out of society's game? Who are you to say that humans are the beings of hope and desire? After all, you fell into the pits of jealousy and fear. Jealous of the people who had it easy and was able to trust others easily, since they were not the products of weaknesses. Fearing for those who might become tainted by the game. Fearing for those whose safety and happiness would be in jeopardy. Deciding what was best for them without considering their opinions. **_

_I just wanted..._

_**You just wanted what?**_

_I just wanted..._

_I just wanted my happiness._

_I just wanted my sky._

_My world..._

_Even if... it all disappears into the past. Forever._

_Indeed. _

_Pain is the connection between my world and theirs._

_**Because they once felt pain in their lives, it becomes easier to connect. Pain from the loss of someone important in their lives. Pain from the loneliness around them. Pain, pain, pain.**_

_For the first time, we can agree to something. _

_**But it is also the innocence that they have that attracts people like you and I, who have lost their innocence a long time ago. And because of that, we wish more pain would befall on those that continue their ignorance of the world around them.**_

_I change my mind. I guess we can't agree to anything after all. In truth, innocence is what helps the ones who lost their innocence trust once more in the world around them. They then learn how to forgive the people, but not the situation that forced them to grow. In that case, just as pain leads to healing and growth, innocence leads to trust and inner peace._

_**Inner peace. How can innocence lead to inner peace when people are too greedy to fulfill the state of satisfaction? If humans are the balance of desire and hope, where would one go in that state of inner peace? They just want more and hope for more. In that case, humans would never achieve inner peace. They might be able to trust in the world again, but it does not mean that they would achieve the ultimate state. **_

_No matter how much pain one can experience in their lives, if they learn to let go of their fears, to let go of their materialistic desires, and to let go of their hatred, they will never let go of their way of life, because by following that standard, they can accept innocence, which will lead them to trust the world once more, learn innocence, which will bring them the passionate fun colors of life, and bring about the forgiveness of the world that will release them from their carefully built prison and achieve inner peace from following their heart's true desire._

_**Pain will always affect and stay with a person no matter how much time passes by. They cannot be freed from all that pain, which is why they cannot retain the inner peace in their lifetime. No one is safe from the assumptions of society.**_

_Perhaps pain will stay with a person no matter how much time passes by, but as long as they don't lose to it, they can fight against the assumptions of society. Ultimately, one can achieve inner peace, despite being influenced by the assumptions of society and retaining the pain within them. _

_That pain. That life. Why did I believe it? Becoming a hunter... It was my worst mistake. My biggest regret. If I had never met them... If I had never passed... If I had just died... Then maybe... Just maybe, I would not have to go through what I had to go through._

_**Are you weakening? You're starting to fall, Kinra. At this rate, you'll disappear.**_

_Wouldn't that be better? For you? For everyone? _

_**Then prepare yourself. For your end. For your life.**_

_But I can't. I promised myself. I promised that I will do everything. Everything that I can to go back. To go back to him. So I have to win. I have to win this game. This game of balance._

_**Then give it your best shot. As the pain grows within you and as the loneliness surrounds you, those feelings will eventually shrivel up into nothing. To live? To see the light? What foolishness. You were foolish then and you are still foolish now. When will you ever learn?**_

_I will win. I must win. No one, not even you, can stop me from going forward. As long as I believe in myself, I can take a step towards this goal. It is not impossible. It is not foolishness. It is just the act of believing._

_No! Please, no... STOP IT! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! PLEASE! Don't do it. Don't! Please..._

_**It's too late. It's hopeless. And there's nothing you can do about it, Kinra. Nothing... Nothing that you can do to stop it.**_

_Fight! Fight against his power! If you don't, you will-_

_**Why do you bother trying? This already happened or did you already forget?**_

_I know... I know, but I can always try! I can always try to fix everything..._

_**No, you can't. You can't fix anything. You are not time. You are not God! There is nothing you can do but watch. Watch how everything falls and breaks. Watch how hope turns into fear and how life turns into death!**_

_Why do you always try to antagonize me? Why? Hope doesn't always turn into fear! Life doesn't always turn into death! You should watch! You should watch how everything rises and builds! Watch how hope sprouts happiness and how death breathes a new life into this world!_

_**I will always try to antagonize you. There is nothing that can change that. After all, I am...**_

_My worst enemy._

Because you are me.

* * *

I coughed relentlessly onto the white marble floor. When I looked around the area, there was only vast darkness. I could hear echoes of my two voices, arguing and fighting against each other, all around me. It was only the white floor and I in this never-ending emptiness.

"_Welcome to my area._" A familiar deep voice calmly greeted me.

Dizzy from my blood loss and hunger, I whispered out. "Who?"

"_Wow. You already forgot about me. I don't know how I feel._" It sarcastically murmured in my ear.

"Annoying guy from dream?" I immediately asked. When I heard his booming laughter, I knew that I was right.

"_I healed your injuries, but your blood will take a few minutes to replenish. And here's some food to eat._" A few sandwiches and a water bottle appeared in front of me. As I munched on it slowly, he continued to talk. "_Now then... Let's get to the important matters. The Game of Balance has begun. Of course, it's only the preliminary round at the moment. But once this round ends, the main course shall begin. Would you like to know more?_"

The Game... I talked about the game in that odd dream... A dream where I saw the choices that I made and the effect it had on my present and future. Arguing against myself. The one who is the most critical of my opinions.

"_That was not a dream, Kinra. It was real. You did see your past with a darker version of yourself. That was actually a part of the preliminary round. Thankfully, you managed to survive it by recognizing that it was you who is your worst enemy. Anyways... Like I said before, the Game has begun and the fight for the right to live will continue. Now then... Answer me this. Do you want to know more about the preliminary round?_" From afar, I saw a dark figure with ethereal blue eyes.

"The Game...has begun..." I drank the water greedily before turning my attention back onto him. "What is the preliminary round?"

"_The preliminary round is to gain the right to receive the position of queen. You must fight against yourself. And...If you don't win, then you will die here and you will never go back to any world. You will lose all of your memories and become a ghost that wanders around in the emptiest plane of a different dimension. If you win, then not only do you have the right to play the game, but you also gain the right to receive the position of queen, enabling you the chance to go back home to your friends._" The dark figure sat down in front of me, locking those blue eyes with my brown ones. "_So. What will you do now, Kinra?_"

"What do you think?" He shrugged at my words. I glared at him before answering. "I will win this game if it's the last thing I do."

"_Good choice. I knew I chose correctly._" He clapped with such eagerness.

I clenched my teeth, seething at him. "Bastard. All this to just piss off another god. What bad taste in humor."

He hollered out a loud chuckle. "_I love you too._"

"So it was another god. Damn you." I cursed various colorful words under my breath.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who story alerted, favorited, and reviewed my story: shugokage, SlightlyYandereMelissa, and MidoriEmerald13.**

**IT'S FINALLY THE START OF THE MAIN ARC OF THE STORY, THE GAME OF BALANCE! :D I'M SO EXCITED. And don't worry. Killua and all the other characters could appear in the future chapters. Who knows? They could (for all I know) appear in the next chapter somehow. And to anyone who guessed that the 'future enemy' was actually herself, good job! :D**

**If you analyzed any of the chapters or any particular scenes or if you have any guesses/theories as to what might happen in the future or what something might mean in the future, that would be interesting to read. I would love to hear your thoughts.**

**Other than that, if you have any questions, feel free to review about it and I'll cover it in the next chapter in the Author's Note or feel free to PM message me and I can talk about it with you. :) **

**And one last thing, please review my story! I really enjoy reading your thoughts and they brighten up my day considerably. From now on, I will PM message my responses to the reviews for efficiency reasons. :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	18. Chapter 18

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 18! **

**I took a break before and it was a rather long break in my opinion, but I managed to get out of my laziness and wrote this chapter. I was a bit overwhelmed of the content for this arc, which might be another reason why I took such a long break to organize my thoughts, but once I started writing it, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I don't know when I'll update again, but let's hope it's soon.**

**Anyways, minus the author's note again, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way or if there are any mistakes (grammar, story plot holes, etc.), TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter.**** If I did, I might have made Killua the main character for the entire series.**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

* * *

"So do I just fight against myself in a battle?" I asked the dark figure with the blue eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

"_Ah... You would think it would be a battle of physical and Nen prowess...but... That is not the case here. After all, that would just be too simple, don't you think?_"

I growled. "Of course, it would be too simple for the likes of you." He just laughed at my response. "Hey, I have a quick question before we get into all of this."

"_What is it?_"

"My body... Why am I here anyways? Wasn't I in the middle of drowning in some river?" I looked up at the blank darkness with suspicion.

"_You're so strange... Did you want to drown? Don't mind the small details!_"

"No. Explain it to me now."

He sighed out loud. "_Fine... Well one thing that you should know already is that I lent you a part of my power before you went to that world... However, because you were not strong enough to control it, I had to use my own strength to bring you here to my area before you almost drowned in that river, which I have to say... It was pretty pathetic to watch you struggle like that. Anyways, is that good enough for you, little detective? Did that satisfy your insatiable curiosity?_"

"Somewhat... But... Can you explain further to me about the limitations of the powers that I was granted by the gods?"

There was a hard silence at my question. "_No._"

"Why not?"

"_I won't say anything. It will be all revealed in time... You have yet to even pass the preliminary round. Don't act so arrogant as to think that you already have a chance in winning. There is no point in telling you anything right now._"

I felt a twinge of discomfort. "Okay then..." He didn't have to say it like that... "So I know that if I win this preliminary round, I not only get the right to play the game, but I also receive the position of queen, right? And something about being queen gives me the chance to go back home to my friends? Is there anything else that I should know before you explain in detail about the preliminary round?"

"_I suppose there are a few things that you should know before you start._" There was a short contemplative pause. "_If you win those rights, then you get a small reward._"

"A reward?"

"_Yes. You get to spend one day with your chosen someone. After all, that might be the last time you will ever see someone, since there is a very high chance of losing. I guess you could call it the 'no regrets' reward._"

"A chosen someone..." Within this blank darkness, I could faintly make out the silhouette of the broad back of a person. When I closed my eyes, I could hear his soft breaths against my ears and feel the sensation of the strands of his hair tickling my skin. The absence of his warmth made me sigh with sudden loss. I opened my eyes, recalling the moist shimmer of his blue eyes that revealed his raw emotions of disbelief and joy when he found me again in that hospital. That was when I realized just how much he had grown over the months that I had not seen him. The hardness of his arms and his back. The sharp jaw line and the prominent shape of his eyes. He was so much taller than I had remembered. I almost felt forlorn that I did not have the chance to see the growth of what brought about his current self. Would it be a sin to want to see him one last time even if the chances of dying in the future were high? I decided it best to think about it later when it was relevant. After all, if I died here, I would never see anyone ever again anyways. With new determination, I stood up from my seat. "What else do I need to know?"

"_Well I told you how part one of the preliminary round is identifying your worst enemy, correct?_"

"Yes. What about it?"

"_There is more to the dream than just that. You could perhaps even say that I handed you the key to win part two of this round..._"

"The key to win... My dream..."

"_Yes_." The dark figure walked towards me before stopping at a certain distance. "_Now that I covered that, let's get a move on." I nodded in agreement. "Part two of the round is defeating your worst enemy as I had said before. It will be a test of the capacity of your strengths_."

"A test..." I repeated.

"_You both will look over your past memories that were specifically chosen, starting from the moment you entered this world to the moment when you almost drowned in that river. If you manage to keep the Kinra from your memories alive by the end of the last chosen memory, then you win and the darker you dies. But... If she dies in any way, then the darker you wins and you die_."

Feeling a bit confused, I asked him. "But how would we do that when we're just looking over the chosen memories?"

"_You both will have the ability to influence Kinra's thoughts in those memories. Not only that, you will have four hours to go wherever and do whatever you wish within each memory, but once those four hours are over, then you must watch the outcome of your influence on the memory on the screen that will be provided when the round begins_."

"So we can appear in front of other people then? As regular people?" I inquired for confirmation.

"_Yes and no. If you appear in front of people who cannot recognize you as you, then you're both safe. However... If you appear in front of people who do recognize you as yourself... as Kinra, then it's game over and you both die_."

"Okay. Anything else I should know about?"

"_I will obviously be supervising this round, so you don't need to worry about broken rules and such. Other than that, you will also have a limited amount of energy. In RPG games, there is something called the life point or HP. You will each have a total of 100 life points. Every time someone manages to successfully influence the thoughts of Kinra, the other person receives a damage of 10 life points. The moment you hit 0, you will have no way of making any influence on the memories nor can you enter them. However, it does not mean that you lose the moment you hit 0. If you're lucky, you might be at the end of the last memory when you hit 0 and have the luck of winning if possible_."

"That means that one way to win is to get the other so injured or to get their life points to zero that they are unable to make any influences on the memories..." I whispered to myself.

"_That is correct. On another note, you both can choose whichever memory you wish to enter. Your limit is 10 memories. After you hit 10, you will both see the outcome of both of your influences when the last memory appears, unless Kinra died before then. Not only that, you both cannot tell which memories you have chosen as the memories will flow on the screen like a story with no stop. You will know what I mean when you start. By the way, this does not mean that the future will change in real life as it is just a game. And if you're worried that the dark Kinra might try to kill the memory Kinra through direct assassination without letting her realize who did it, don't worry. The dark Kinra is not allowed to kill her directly_." He paused before speaking once more. "_Are you ready, Kinra?_"

"Yes." I whispered out stiffly.

"_Then let us begin_..." As he said this, a familiar figure appeared before me with a cocky smile. It was myself. "_The preliminary round!_" From behind us both, an iron chair appeared. A force unknown pulled us down, causing us to sit with no way of escaping. Chains bound our arms and legs. A loud beeping signal from above us revealed two bars of red. One on her side and the other above me. From the side of the bars, a huge number of a hundred appeared. In between us, a table that was similar to a pool table materialized, broadcasting a very familiar scene. The sound of the clock ticking echoed endlessly in the darkness. I stared at the time before looking at the adult who stood next to her desk with a carefree and a contemplative attitude as she touched the pages of the book carefully. It was Memory Kinra. The old me... Feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the Kinra's that I had to think about, I decided it best to call her Kioku for short.

"What's wrong?" Darker Kinra asked me in a mocking tone. Hearing her voice, I remembered that she was also me in a different sense. She was just...darker. That was why I decided to simply refer her as Yami.

I did not remove my gaze from the screen. "It's 11:50pm."

"So?" She snorted at my answer.

"Don't you remember? It was the start of everything. That was the start of my ending time. Our ending time. Isn't it funny?" I laughed harshly before meeting her gaze with mine.

"Not really. I don't see what's so funny about some stupid time." Yami leaned back against her chair, revealing her confidence in winning this game.

"Who would have thought that this impeccable time would be what led to my inevitable downfall?" At those words, her eyes sharpened. Kioku had set her book at the corner of her desk after stretching and yawning. "If I had slept at the time that I always slept at, if I had slept at 11:00pm sharp, could I have escaped such fates? Haven't you ever wondered about that?"

"No." She immediately denied.

"Liar. You're me. There is no way you would not have thought about this. There is no way you would not have speculated about it."

Revealing her annoyance, her eyebrow twitched. "Does it matter?"

"No. It was just my own curiosity. But then again... I guess it would not have affected anything. No matter what time I could have slept at, I would have eventually faced this dilemma, don't you think?" I found her reaction to be amusing. After all, it was so me, but I guess I should not be so surprised about it, since she is, as I said before, me.

"I don't care. This conversation... Don't you think it's pointless?"

Ignoring her question, I stared at the clock once more. "Oh... There is only five more minutes remaining before I have to face my fate. Well...that was a great way to pass time. Perhaps we should converse more?" I jokingly asked as she turned her head to ignore me.

"You're stupid, but you're right because you're me. Let's talk." Yami locked eyes with me, unwavering in her gaze.

"Okay... Then how about..." I paused before continuing. "If the world I lived in was a matter of being on one stage and ending one act of a play, then would this game I plunge into be a matter of having another chance to be on stage?"

"Of course. If we say that the old us died in our previous world, then that is the end of one play, but because we were given another chance to essentially live, then it is the start of a new play, which therefore gives us another chance to be on stage for that play." Her words were swift like I expected it to be.

I took a deep breath before speaking. "Nonetheless, despite which world we enter, there will always be a society of corruption, destruction, and greed. That aspect will never change, and yet, instead of that being the problem, it is more of the matter of whether a person is accepted or not in a group that they consider as their community. Community, no matter what level your Soul is at, is the center of our lives. After all, despite the different levels, we are all one soul. That soul becomes the universe and that universe becomes the core of our energy. In other words, it is the cycle of life. Death is just the next step. The Soul returns to the universe, replenishing the energy to give birth to a new soul into the worlds around us. Thus, bringing about a world called community. For it shows that we are one soul. That we are the universe. I believe that the community helps the connection between people's souls to become stronger than when it is left by itself. After all, without the community, their souls would most likely die, leaving the universe and fading from the energy that it was originally born from."

"Continue." Her eyes shimmered with interest.

"It means that those who are not part of a community are more likely to have their souls die and to never return to its home, the universe, after death, which disables the ability to give birth to a new soul. So... Let us say that the Old Souls exist in both worlds... Then we can say that because of the differences in expectations and desires between the Old Souls and the others, the Old Souls could not stand the society of our world and felt as if they were originally not a part of that world, which caused their longing for something to grow stronger than before. So now I can conclude that it is not our society that is the problem, because our society is basically everyone from the newborns to the physically old."

"Hmm..." She murmured to me. "Then what is the problem?"

"It is the alignment of what we define as personal satisfaction. That is why no matter what world we live in, when our definition of personal satisfaction aligns with society's, we feel the concept of community and acceptance. And yet, the definition of personal satisfaction blooms from the concept of choices. Choices are the possibilities that lead to so many futures. With each choice as a color, we can paint any picture we desire until the end of our lives. As I once said before, we are essentially the embodiment of our choices. That ability to choose was the greatest freedom and without it, life was..." So many regrets poured into my heart, squeezing it with unease.

Her voice interrupted my darker thoughts. "Let's say that this is all true, then would the Old Souls be more likely to die as you said before?"

"No because they are part of a community. The community of Old Souls. They might not agree with society's idea of personal satisfaction, but they have their own idea of it, which is why they feel accepted in their own group and in their own solitude. If they choose their idea of community as their own soul in their own solitude, then so be it. That is their community. As long as they feel accepted by their own soul in solitude, then that is all they need to live. Therefore, they are not likely to die." I sighed.

"Did I interrupt you?" She raised her eyebrow, waiting for my answer.

"No. Not really. Do you want me to continue?" I asked her as she nodded. "Well then... how about I talk about time? Time is a linear variable. It never moves backward. It only moves forward. But when that iron law is shattered, what would be the greatest punishment? Death? No. Death would be too kind of a punishment. Then... What is the greatest punishment? After all, if time was not linear, if we had the ability to choose different paths at certain points of our lives, we would not be who we are now and that in itself is a sin. It is an error that must not be forgiven. And that is because we ARE the embodiment of the choices that we take. Our identity is our choices. Not our name. Not our pride, greed, and happiness, It is our choices." Oddly enough, I felt a strong sense of déjà vu, causing me to wonder if this had happened before, but that would not make sense... "That leads into the concept of universal connection of fate. Could it be coincidence that everything I read, watch, and experience end up in my life one way or another? No. It is all connected. Whether you believe in the greater or not, everything that passes your way becomes a part of a truth that you discover of the world. And as you piece together each part, you will begin to understand the bigger picture of the truth."

"The game." Yami interjected.

"Yes. It's the game. The game of balance." When there was a sudden change in lights from the screen, I turned my attention back to what was happening with Kioku. She jumped into her bed, preparing to sleep. Suddenly, the screen blurred before shutting off completely.

"It seems the game is about to start." Yami sat up straight, concentrating on the screen. The moment the screen turned back on, it revealed a small child, staring at the adults around her with confusion. It was Kioku. This...was the first memory. I have to choose quickly. Which memory... Which memory...!? Which one should I choose?! I clenched my teeth as my fists tightened. All I heard was the soft giggle of Yami and the screeching voice of Kioku.

"What's wrong, Kin-chan?" Yami called out to me, continuing her condescending laughter. "Are you having a hard time choosing?"

"No." I gritted my teeth.

"Would you like me to tell you something nice?" Without waiting for an answer, she continued. "Do you know why Yuu died so easily from the blood loss? It's all because of you. Do you know why? Would you like to know why? I'll tell you then! When you kill death too early, that person becomes more vulnerable to death, so in the next event of a near death experience no matter how trivial it seems, that person is more likely to die from it than the average person who did not have their fates tampered with. So... Because you killed death that time off of Yuu at Heaven's Arena, he would have died easily from any kind of medium to heavy blood loss! That is why... It is your fault that he died so early! Do you understand? Anyways, everyone has a chance of dying with some higher than others every day, which is why it is better to use that power when they are on the brink of death and when you have no other option left to save them! After all, that power can only be used once on each person!" A cold presence of guilt crashed down on me, drowning me in harsh misery.

I shook my head, evaporating the negative thoughts that were starting to form in my mind. "In that case, then explain to me why I can't go through time! Isn't teleportation a part of space-time? That means time should be included!" Since Yami seemed to know about my power in accurate detail, I decided it best to gather as much information as possible from her.

"That ability was granted, not given. It's a premature ability. Do you really believe that the gods would give a human the ability to handle a power that can cause chaos in this world? No. That would be outrageous and stupid of them. I thought you would figure it out yourself, since you are me, but I guess I expected too much from you. Think of it this way. Would someone let you get the full product for free? No. They might give you a sample to try it out in order to entice you into buying the full product, but they would never give a full product for free without a price or a condition. This is the same. The powers of space-time and changing fates are mere samples, given by the gods to try out. Do you understand, Kin-chan?" Yami grinned before sighing and shaking her head. "Think about it. You're obviously limited in the powers that were granted by the gods because you're not a specific god that deals with either time or death. They were only granted to you by the gods for some reason that we don't know yet. The only power that you have complete control over is your balancing Nen ability and that's it. The rest? Just mere samples. Remember that, Kin-chan." I ignored the arrogant tone in her voice as I decided which memory to enter. Focusing on the screen and on my memory, I felt my body go past the iron restraints and flew into the screen. The last image I saw was Yami's indifferent face as if her entire being was frozen before I entered the memory I had chosen. So that was what he meant by not knowing which and when we enter our chosen memories...

When I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by luscious green trees and a broad training area. Hearing a small squeak from afar, I turned my attention towards it, finding Yuu young and alive. His familiar warm burgundy hair ruffled with the soft wind as his eyes sparkled with that nostalgic forest green. Bursting out laughing, his voice echoed pleasantly through the air.

* * *

_"Who are you?" I asked him. Yuu was dead. The Leader was dead. Then did that mean that everyone was dead? What was the lie and what was the truth?_

_"I am Yuu, Kinra. What do I need to do to prove it?" His forest green eyes bored into mine._

* * *

He was throwing Kioku in the air with a mischievous grin, which revealed his pearly white teeth. A hint of pain shot through my heart as I attempted to shake it away. How could I... The pain grew stronger. Clenching my teeth, I closed my eyes, remembering what had happened before as clear as day.

* * *

_I glared at him. "Get out of my way."_

_"No." He breathed in deeply, focusing his eyes on mine. "Stop, Kinra. It's over. It's done. You don't need to do this anymore."_

_I clenched my teeth together. "I have to-"_

_"You don't need to anymore or do you still think that I am a fake? What can I do to prove you wrong? That I am real and that the dead body you saw during your torture session was a fake me?" His voice lowered, softening his pained tone. _

_Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes. "You're lying. You're a liar. Yuu is dead. YUU IS DEAD! They killed him. They burned him. They humiliated his body with Alice's. I... I won't allow you to take his face! TO PRETEND THAT YOU'RE HIM! TO MAKE ME PLAY THIS SICK GAME OF TRUTHS AND LIES! WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" I screamed, frustrated with the world around me. _

_He grabbed the blade with his bare hands. "Then take this blade and stab me with it! FIND OUT YOURSELF IF IT'S JUST A SICK GAME OR IF IT'S THE TRUTH! DID YOU SEE HIS FACE? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF THAT REALLY WAS ME? I LOST THE WATCH WHEN I FOUGHT AGAINST THE MEMBERS OF THE CLAN, SO IF THE WATCH IS THE REASON WHY YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS ME, THEN YOU NEED TO REMEMBER! I am not the watch. I am not that burnt body! I AM ME!" Blood oozed from the wounds on his hands._

_"Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. SHUT UP! You don't know anything. You don't know what they did! You didn't see. You couldn't see. So please... Leave me alone." My hands caught the teardrops as I stared at the ground._

_"I don't know what happened to you exactly. I can always make guesses. And yes... You're right. I didn't see. I couldn't see. But that doesn't mean that I will leave you alone. You were hurt and don't deny it. I could see it. And because I saw it, I won't just let you live in a lie that was created by the ones who hurt you. You can hate me. You can even stop talking to me, but I won't stop being who I am. And not even you can stop me." I saw his image blur with the Yuu of the past of when he had previously protected me from the Clan members who had harmed me. His voice quivered with silent determination. "You were always such an adult. Trying to take on everything yourself. Trying hard to hold in the pain, the sadness, the truth, so that the lies wouldn't hurt you any further. But now you don't have to do this anymore, because now I am here for you. I am here, Kinra. From now on, you won't be alone. From now on, you don't need to take on everything yourself. You don't need to hold in everything. Now... Kinra... I will always protect you. All I want is for you to smile. Smile as if the world opened up endless possibilities that will lead to your ultimate happiness." Nostalgia dawned on me. Those words were the same as before. The words that only he and I would know about._

_"Y-Yuu..." I cried out. He fell to his knees, breathing hard. Blood drenched his clothes, staining the white marble floor._

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I tearfully smiled before hiding in the trees, contemplating how I could influence Kioku's mind. In seconds, that answer was revealed.

_Dammit Yuu! Stop playing around and stop throwing me up in the air like a doll!_

I heard a faint familiar voice in my mind as she screamed at Yuu for doing such a traumatizing act to her. It was Kioku's thoughts.

_Ugh, finally. I swear... How long do I have to-_

Stop it. Stop thinking like that. Yuu is important. He is my family and I will _not_ allow you to think of him of anything less.

_What was that...? Well, he sure is an easygoing guy. It makes me almost jealous of him. Living such a happy life. I could always learn from him._

That's right... He was always so... I held in the tears that gathered in the corner of my eyes. But now... I could never... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Yuu. I'm so sorry.

* * *

_"Kin-chan. Listen closely." He gripped my shirt to get my attention. _

_"What is it?" I continued to run without stopping. "I'm listening."_

_"I'm proud of you, despite all that had happened. I want you to be happy. I'm sure Alice would want the same thing for you. Soon, you'll be free from her grandfather's hold and you'll be able to meet up with Midori at the Main Branch Family's village." I heard him sniff a little bit before continuing. "I'm sorry that I can't keep my word and that I'm not strong enough to save you. But... You know that I will always love you, right?"_

_"Of course and I will always love you too! But please, Yuu... Stop talking or else you'll be wasting more of your energy!" I pleaded with him as he gave me a crooked grin._

_"Don't forget about Alice and I. Stay safe, my family... My Kinra." His voice cracked. "I love you. I just wish..." We had more time together. _

_"We're here, Yuu! Everything will be alright now!" I looked at Yuu when I saw the light disappear from his eyes. _

_"Yuu...?" I shook him but he did not respond. "Yuu? YUU!" _

_"No..." I suddenly recalled killing 'death' with my dagger. Maybe that would work. I activated my Yochigan, but I did not see the imps like I did before. Where were they? They had to be somewhere! C'mon, appear! If you're death, you have to be here! You can't just take him away from me like this. I won't lose another again. I refuse to let him go! _

_"Where are you. Where are you! WHERE?! COME TO ME! COME HERE! WHY?! WHY DON'T I SEE YOU?!" I watched the blue seep out of him, leaving a white outline of his body and a blankness in his eyes. Just like the Leader. Just like... "Why... Why do you have to leave me? Why does everyone... WHY?! WHY!" I screamed out with my frustration and disappointment in myself heightening at every moment._

* * *

"What's wrong, Kinra?" Yuu's voice called out to Kioku with worry. "Why are you crying? Is it because I threw you up too high? I'm sorry!"

"N-no! That's not it. Even I don't know why I'm crying..." She sniffled and wiped her tears away but they flowed endlessly down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Yuu. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Ah, ah, ahhh! It's okay! You don't need to apologize anymore!" He panicked and embraced her tightly, trying to pat her head as comfort. Unfortunately, that seemed to make her cry even harder. "Wahhhh! Please don't cry, Kinra!"

"YUU! WHAT DID YOU DO TO KINRA?!" Alice screamed as she ran towards the two.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I SWEAR!" He cried out, hugging Kioku tightly from fear of facing Alice's wrath. I gripped the tree branch tightly, keeping a tight grasp onto my emotions. That somehow stopped Kioku from sobbing. I realized that when my emotions were far too strong, it affected Kioku greatly, which is why I needed to stop myself from overwhelming the poor girl with my emotions. "Oh. She stopped crying. Are you okay now, Kinra?" Yuu wiped the tears off of her face.

"Yes." She sniffed. "I don't know what came over me."

"Even though it's been two years since you came to this world, I guess you're still our baby, despite being seven years old." He smiled pretty happily at the thought. "Well, just the fact that you're finally able to learn 'Hatsu' makes me really happy, but the fact that I won't have to deal with any males anytime soon... It's wonderful." A blissful look appeared on his face.

With a straight face, Kioku interrupted. "Who said that you won't have to deal with any males anytime soon?"

"WHAT?!" Shock pooled into his eyes with his skin paling at the speed of light. "WHICH BOY IS IT?! WHICH BOY DO I NEED TO DESTROY?!" He shook her shoulders back and forth quickly.

"Does that mean I need to explain to her about the birds and bees now?!" Alice's eyes sparkled at the idea for some odd reason.

"NO! I WILL NOT ALLOW IT! She's far too young to know of such tainted things." He cried in a corner, wallowing in his misery.

"I was just joking. Let's get a move on already. I want to know what my 'Hatsu' is." Kioku yawned and sighed when she saw the two ignore her.

"But it is a part of life! We can only hope that she will grow up to be a beautiful healthy young woman, and as her parents, we must do our best to protect her as she learns more about the world." Alice patted Yuu's head with a tearful smile.

"What will we do when she leaves us in the future? I don't think I could stand such a future!" He swiftly embraced Kioku as if he was crying silently.

"Yes, indeed. What will we do when our baby leaves us? I don't know how I'll live either!" Alice jumped into their embrace and made a flashy attempt to sob.

"Yeah whatever. Can we start the water divination already? I want to know my aura type. I've been waiting for this since a long time ago..." Kioku eagerly glanced at the cup of water that held the single leaf in the middle.

"Kinra, what is 'Hatsu'?" Yuu interjected.

"'Hatsu' is the release or transmission of the aura. It can be used to carry out a certain function and is a personal expression of 'Nen' that creates a special ability or is just called the Nen ability." Kioku repeated word to word on what was on the textbook that they gave her before.

"Good. Then we will now begin the water divination. Place your hands around the glass and perform 'Ren.' We will then determine your aura type." He instructed her and she stepped forward with determination. It was time. I stiffened, awaiting the results that I remembered had happened years ago. Just as before, the green leaf shook and shriveled up into a fragile light brown leaf. When it finally withered away with the wind, a small seed took its place. Moments later, the water glowed a sky blue color in the middle with the seed circling around it at a specific tempo.

_Wow. That was kind of pretty. I guess I'm a specialist._

Blue... Think of the color blue. Don't focus on other things. Remember the blue. Please...

_Blue... Well, since I'm a specialist, I guess I can try to do Jyuuken! Just like the Hyuuga Clan members! The only thing left is to train and see if I can attempt it all! How exciting!_

Nonononononono! The blue! Don't do Jyuuken! Please!

_Jyuuken is the perfect technique. If I can successfully do it, then I don't need anything else!_

That's not true! It's not a perfect technique when our Nen isn't fit for it! Listen to me!

_Jyuuken... I will succeed the Jyuuken technique!_

I almost screamed out in frustration. Why wasn't she listening to me at all?! I thought we were supposed to be able to influence her through the mind! I decided to wait a little longer. After all, I still had three more hours left before I had to go back. Following Kioku to her room, I sat near the window outside, watching her write in her notebook.

She grinned to herself. "As I thought! All of my preferences sound similar to the Jyuuken! Even if I couldn't make it a perfect replication, it would be close enough! All I need to do is recreate the Byakugan... I wonder... The water divination test..."

Stop thinking about Jyuuken! Think about the blue instead... Please... If you find out about your balancing Nen ability now, then we could at least save, save them all before it's too late... At least in this world... Let me save them here even if I couldn't in my own world... In my own reality... IF YOU TRAIN EARLIER WITH OUR ORIGINAL POWER AND BECOME STRONGER THAT WAY, WE CAN SAVE THEM ALL! _SO PLEASE_! _PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE BLUE, KIOKU NO ATASHI (The Memory Me)_! _Please... I beg of you... _Please _listen_ to me...

As if ignoring my words, she activated Yochigan with glee. "It's working!"

_I think I CAN recreate Jyuuken after all! But... I need to test it on someone first._

"Kinra, can I come in?" I heard Yuu's voice call out to Kioku from the outside near the door. I quickly moved towards the shadows so that he would not be able to see me.

"Yes!" Kioku answered. The door opened, revealing him with astonishment flickering in his eyes.

"Kinra, your eyes!" He stared at her. That's right... This is when I compared his eyes to opposite forces... Even if I didn't concentrate on the color blue, I wish I had known about the importance of balance... The balance between opposite forces... Kioku, listen carefully. Balance and opposite forces are the essence of our power. Jyuuken is not our power. Our power is the power of balance.

_The power of balance... Blue... Opposite forces... Too much of a pain. How troublesome. It's not like Jyuuken is impossible to attain. I just need to tweak it a bit and let it fit in with my battle style. I don't need to think about anything else. After all, Jyuuken is the ultimate technique._

"Well... Your eyes turned into a sky blue color like the water did... It was almost strange... I felt as if you could see everything with those eyes..." Yuu murmured in wonder.

_My eyes changed color? Interesting... Maybe that's why Yuu looked blue in the first place... Yeah... That's gotta be it!_

No! There's more to it! The power of balance! Opposite forces! Before I had more time to disagree with Kioku's thoughts and persuade her to think harder, I felt a harsh pull. What was that? I looked behind me, but nothing was there. Was that just my imagination? The moment I ended that thought, I yelped out in surprise when my body was suddenly pulled out of the memory and back onto the chair. Has it already been four hours?! That was too fast!

"What's wrong, Kin-chan? You look oddly pale." Yami giggled to herself, yawning with boredom. I looked back in the screen and it showed a younger Kioku pulling out a single book out of many in a room.

I gritted my teeth. "I'm fine. I was just merely thinking about the continuation of our discussion on the greatest punishment."

"Ah... The greatest punishment... So before the game even started... Well then... Continue with it. I would like to know more." Her eyes flickered with interest. She really was me.

"The greatest punishment. What is the greatest punishment? That is being stripped of the greatest freedom. The freedom and the ability to choose. If that is the greatest punishment for messing with time, then what is the greatest punishment for using abilities beyond human capabilities?" I asked.

Yami hummed with a thoughtful expression. "That is a good question. But you know... I think the answers for both questions can be found within us. We are the answer. The product of punishments received."

"Perhaps... But I suppose that can be for another time because we can now question what is the most important to someone after being stripped of the greatest freedom." I quickly moved our conversation to a different topic.

"And? What is it?" She let it move on.

"The ability to exist is the next important freedom after the ability to choose. Why is it the most important after choice? It is because if choice represented life, then existence represented our imprint on the world. But if existence is merely an embodiment of other people's memories, then why do I exist? Why do we exist? Why am I here? Why are we here? If no one remembers me, then do I not exist? Am I merely a folly in this game of balance?" I waited for her answer.

Yami smiled. "You exist because existence is not an embodiment of other people's memories. It is merely the embodiment of your own memories. No one, except yourself, can determine that you exist in this world."

A wave of frustration drowned me. "You're wrong! Then why do I feel as though I am-"

She frowned with annoyance before smirking. "The first move is mine to make and your failure to understand the urgency of the situation you are in right now will become your undoing. Did you really not notice anything? What I have done?"

"What?" I tried hard to think about what had occurred in the last few hours or day. What was she talking about? I became increasingly irritated at her attitude.

"I guess you really didn't notice it. The first move I made." Yami paused before continuing. "You really are foolish."

"You're wrong! I admit that I might not have noticed what you did, but this game of balance has just begun! You might make the first move, but I will take the next. After all, the game is only over when the last moves are made." I growled at her. "And one other thing, you might say that existence is the embodiment of my own memories, then how on earth do you define loneliness? Can one say that they exist when they are all alone?" When she stayed silent, I continued. "If the memories of others show that I exist, then it merely gives us the impression that we cannot live without other people. However, that is a folly. Even if someone remembers me, it does not mean that they will attach an emotional meaning to my existence. I could just be the girl who fought in battles. But that is the not the same as existing. However, it also does not mean that my own memories will show that I exist, because once I die, the sign of my existence will disappear. Therefore, through both, one can exist in a world. From this notion, I can assimilate that existence is the embodiment of memories. The existence is the past. The life is the present. Then what of the future?" She still did not answer. "The future is a blurred maze. It is filled with paths that can lead to two outcomes. One is the trial and the other is avoidance. The trial may be viewed as an error, but in fact, it is the path that will give you the knowledge and wisdom to strive for a 'better' future, while the avoidance is the true error. It will give you nothing but temporary ease for the future. There is nothing to learn from the avoidance and that in itself will be the falling."

"But that is only if you have the greatest freedom, which is the ability to choose. Without it, the future is not a blurred maze, but a chosen linear path. Like time, the future will become a single linear variable. Because of this, even if you choose whichever path, the trial or the avoidance, you will until you can fall no longer. And even as you hit the bottom, there is no way to swim upwards if someone chose for you to stay at the bottom forever. This means that both paths are the true error because it will give you a hazy outcome that is neither happiness nor misery." Yami interjected.

"Then what is forever? Time might be a single linear variable, but who determined how long forever was? Only humans did, but who are we to judge how long forever is when we do not live forever as we think of it? As I once said before, the dirt in the water can be something special and rare and because of this, a community cannot be a community if it is just based on the memories of others because that would mean that the tainted water will forever be alone without a community or a family to call its own. Then what can be defined as tainted? Society might define it, but it is actually us as individuals who define what is tainted or not. After all, the greatest judgment is through oneself and not through others. With this concept in mind, we can determine that it is actually us as individuals who define how long forever is. So if I judge forever as an unlimited amount of time, then so be it. That will be what it will be defined as." As I watched the young Kioku receive the beatings and insults from the Clan members without genuine care, I paused before answering what Kioku was probably thinking at the time on what she should do next in that world. "Time is short. I should have trained more. I should have planned out my actions accordingly. What good is it to know the future but not do anything worthwhile in it? I did not want to be the ultimate Outsider, but at the same time, what good is it to interfere with the given path?"

We stayed silent when Yuu tried to grab Kioku's attention from her book. "What are you reading, Kin-chan?"

"Kin-chan! Come on. I won't bite." He poked her cheek continuously for fun. We both knew she was almost at her limit in ignoring him. "Kin-chan. You can't ignore me forever. You know... It's only been a month since Alice-" Before he had time to finish his sentence, she slammed the book shut and glared at him.

"What do you want from me? I already said that I wasn't going to eat with you, I wasn't going to talk to you, and that I wasn't going to interact with you unless it's for training. I believe I still have a few hours for myself before we start today." Her voice grew noticeably higher by the second.

"Kin-chan. Why do you hate me?" His eyes dimmed a little bit.

This was when Yami responded to my words from before. "It is never good to interfere with the given path...but if you did not want to become the ultimate Outsider, you should have taken action anyways. It does not matter after all, since any path that you take becomes the true error. And within those paths, one can discover the differences between the forces that connect to each path and choice taken. In fact, you could even see that light and darkness were not one in the same. They are not one entity, just as love and hatred are not one in the same. They might have the same amount of purity, but the consequences of each differ in quality and quantity. The harm is much higher in hatred and darkness than in love and light. With hatred, it deteriorates the body and the soul into nothingness. In that sense, they will become an empty shell in which there are no choices or memories within them. And with that, we can determine that hatred kills the existence and life of a person."

"That might be true. However, love also has the ability to match up to that consequence. Once love reaches its full potential, it can immediately drop down to the lowest of the low, where the harm is immediate and as high as it would be in hatred. The body and the soul, overnight, can become nothingness. In that sense, they will become an empty shell in which there are no choices or memories within them. Instead, the memories they held of the love are scorned and that past begins to haunt the world that they created. With this reasoning, it can be seen that both love and hatred are equal in consequences." I countered. When I looked at the screen once more, I found Kioku talking to Yuu in her room, using him as a way to affirm her 'Hatsu'. It was time to see if my influence even worked on her in the first place.

"Your eyes..." She said with fascination sparkling in her eyes.

"What about them? I know that they are pretty, but it's quite embarrassing for you to look at them this way." He joked around, causing her to quirk her eyebrow at him. "Anyways, you shouldn't be talking about my eyes! You should talk about yours! Did you get colored contacts for yourself?"

"Why do you ask?" Kioku stared at him incredulously.

"Well... Your eyes turned into a sky blue color like the water did... It was almost strange... I felt as if you could see everything with those eyes..." He murmured in wonder. She had a contemplative look on her face when he said that before shaking her head. "What's wrong?" He waited for her to answer.

"Ah... Nothing... I just thought that maybe that's why you looked blue in the first place. But that's it. Nothing more. That's probably the reason why my eyes changed colors... Into the blue color." Kioku replied with a comforting smile.

A cold breeze of horror scratched at me harshly. "NO! NO! NO! NO! YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT! What is the purpose that the blue color serves? You MUST think about it! Oh. Please. Can't anyone tell her what to do? Can't anyone warn her of the game that she must play? It's all about the balance and the opposing forces. The community and the family that will serve as the catalyst for this all... Please... Before the game begins... Someone..." It didn't work. My influence failed. How. Why. I twitched when I felt a surge of energy leave my body. Feeling overwhelmingly helpless in this game, I slumped against my chair. What just happened? What was happening? Why do I feel weak all of a sudden?

Yami's sharp laughter cut through the air. "Now _that_ was your first mistake. When you stopped thinking about it, I was able to execute the first move towards your inevitable checkmate!" At her words, I froze, looking at the life points above me. It was at 90. "I guess I win the first round. It can only make sense though because... My influence is much stronger than your pathetic attempt. One win for me and none for you. Boohoo. Do you feel sad? Do you feel helpless? You can always give up, you know."

"NO! There is still time to prevent this. I did not lose yet!" I shouted at her from afar.

She snorted at my words. "Oh really? But you know... Time cannot be stopped. Time cannot be interfered with. You of all people should know this. You once said that we are essentially the embodiment of our choices and that by choosing the choices that you took, you are who you are now. That can never be changed, Kinra."

I tightened my fists. "I know... That may be true... That may be right... But... I know... and because I know, I can still move forward and not even _you_ can stop me, Yami no Atashi (The Dark Me)! After all, one can still hope-"

"Hope is for the weak." She interrupted me with relentless eyes.

"_No_. Hope is for the people who trust and take action for their aspirations." I never pulled away my gaze from hers, challenging her to go against my words.

* * *

_The dark figure then spoke to me. "Well I told you how part one of the preliminary round is identifying your worst enemy, correct?"_

_"Yes. What about it?" I quirked my eyebrow at him._

_His voice echoed through the darkness. "There is more to the dream than just that. You could perhaps even say that I handed you the key to win part two of this round..."_

_"The key to win... My dream..." I repeated. _

_"Yes." The dark figure walked towards me before stopping at a certain distance._

* * *

My dream is the key to winning this round... That is what he told me... And I now know what he meant by those words. It is because I am literally reliving my dream. Every word. Every emotion. They are the exact same as my dream. This is no longer a dream. This is no longer a game. It is a gamble. A gamble of life and death. And I swear... I will win this no matter the cost.

They say that the difference between a murderer and a normal person is the choice they make. After all, they can both think of killing someone, but in the end, one performs the action while the other doesn't. That is the difference between Yami and me...

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who story alerted, favorited, and reviewed my story: Deb.23, , technacly, Rainbowtart, Aerishime, Arayer, and MidoriEmerald13.**

**This preliminary round is going to be super long. Maybe 3-6 chapters long at most and maybe less if possible. If I make it around 3-5 chapters long, then the updates might take awhile since they will have a lot of content in them. **

**If you analyzed any of the chapters or any particular scenes or if you have any guesses/theories as to what might happen in the future or what something might mean in the future, that would be interesting to read. I would love to hear your thoughts.**

**Other than that, if you have any questions, feel free to review about it and I'll cover it in the next chapter in the Author's Note or feel free to PM message me and I can talk about it with you. :) **

**And one last thing, please review my story! I really enjoy reading your thoughts and they brighten up my day considerably. From now on, I will PM message my responses to the reviews for efficiency reasons. :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	19. Chapter 19

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 19! **

**08/27/2015: This chapter was actually really difficult for me to write. It wasn't because of the content itself. It was because of outer factors. Whenever I had time to write, I kept having obstacles come into my life, not allowing me to keep writing the rest of the chapter. At first, it was just pure anxiety in regards to my future as I was planning on graduating earlier than my fellow peers in college so that I can go to Korea right after, but soon after that, school issues and other aspects just kept going at me endlessly. Ahahaha. It was a strange busy experience I guess. Well, as you read this chapter, if you find any mistakes, please kindly inform me. As I wrote some parts of this, I was on a headache medication for the first time ever. Sadly, it made me very loopy and I felt really sick because of it (probably going to stop taking it), so my writing might not be up to the standard that I want it to be at. However, it was update now or until next summer vacation because college is starting again and I didn't want to keep my readers waiting until next break. This is also probably one of the shortest chapters I have ever wrote for this story. I'm really sorry for how short it is, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. **

**Anyways, minus the author's note again, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way or if there are any mistakes (grammar, story plot holes, etc.), TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter.**** If I did, I might have made Killua the main character for the entire series.**

* * *

**Chapter 19**

* * *

As I sat across from Yami, I heard the dark figure's voice echo in my mind. "_I might have forgotten to tell you one more thing, Kinra._" When I did not reply, the voice continued. "_You are capable of entering people's dreams and even if they recognize you in the dream, you will stay safe since it is just a dream to them._"

I closed my eyes, sinking the information into the deepest depths of my mind. "_One last thing, if you wish, you can stay in the same memory for a consecutive number of times. For example, after the four hours are up in this memory and you wish to stay longer for another four hours, you can with the price of having this memory count as two memories. You can stay for as long as you want until your memory limit hits ten and you will no longer be able to influence her._" I nodded in understanding as Yami watched me with no interest.

"_By the way, you're probably wondering what Yami did so that your first attempt of influencing failed. All I can tell you is that she influenced her early on in her training routine long before the water divination test by making her believe that Jyuuken is the perfect technique and that she does not need to think any further than that_." At those words, my fists tightened and my eyes narrowed in on my opponent. Was it disgust that I felt for her? Admiration? No. It was both. Disgust at her actions. Admiration for her decision. This was the game and she was far above me in skill. Realizing this, my heart beat faster and unsteadily. My breaths became lighter and my mind whizzed in anxiety. It was time to choose the next memory. The second one. I took a deep breath, gazing into the screen with my chosen memory burning in my head. My body immediately sunk into the screen as I found myself in a small room of a rundown hostel. In a single bed, Suou and Kioku slept cozily together without any trace of acknowledgement of my existence. On the peeled wall, there was a calendar, informing of the date. It was the day before the Hunter Exam or to be exact, it was the night before the Hunter Exam would begin.

"Suou..." I whispered out her name, feeling the rough sound of my voice against my throat. It echoed endlessly, laying out my raw emotions of guilt and regret plainly in this cold room. I reached out to touch her hair before stopping. The sound of soft rain sprinkled down against the window. I watched the dark sky come together as one huge cloud of rage. Thunder crashed down in screams and lights flashed like an angry scar. My hand curled into a fist before I finally decided to move her hair from her face, careful to not wake her. She huddled closer to Kioku, revealing how small she was compared to the last time that I saw her in person. My heart squirmed in an uncomfortable position, thudding against my ribcage as if reprimanding me for my sins, my mistakes. I held in my tears, bringing her closer to me, holding her for one last time, as a way to thank her for her love and as a way to apologize to her for my stupidity and blindness towards the light. I forced my emotions to take the backseat of my mind, focusing in on her mind in order to enter her dream. My body twitched at the change in surrounding energy as something gripped me, pulling me into her consciousness. The moment I opened my eyes once more, I stood in front of the small Suou, who stared at me with confusion.

"Onee-chan?" She called out to me with her soft voice. At once, I pulled her into a tight embrace and smiled widely. "O-Onee-chan?! What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. It's nothing at all." I laughed out with my tears unwillingly falling gently to the ground. "I just... I just wanted to hug you."

She giggled at my words. "Okay! You're so strange, Onee-chan."

"Suou, will you promise me something?" I whispered in her ear.

"Hm? Of course!" Her voice brightened as the surroundings of her dream glowed a light yellow and orange color.

"If you see a group of people who are around your age, please talk to them and try to befriend them no matter what I say."

"But... But you said before that I shouldn't trust people because they might have bad intentions!"

"That might be true, but it's not as if you'll get hurt if you try to talk to them and befriend them. You can take your time to trust them fully...because you know, if your gut says that they are worthy of your trust and that they will never betray you willingly, then it's best to follow that gut. It's the same for those who you can't trust. If your gut says that you shouldn't trust a person despite how nice they are, then you should always trust it. That's why..." I pat her head with a sad smile. "That's why I want you to try hard to befriend and talk to those of your age when we get to the Hunter Exam, okay? Can you do that for me?" I held her hands in my own, locking eyes with her. "Please?" Her eyes wavered before shifting into one of strong determination.

"Okay! Leave it to me!" I watched her gently as she reassured me.

When I felt the familiar pull on my back, I breathed in deeply. "It seems like it's time for me to go now." Suou looked at me questioningly. "I'll be putting my utmost trust in you to keep the promise. Befriend those that your gut tells you to trust. Talk to those of your age."

"I will. Don't worry, Onee-chan!" She waved at me as I disappeared from her dream and landed back in the chair across Yami.

"What a lie." Yami spat out, continuing our conversation from before. "Hope is for the people who trust and take actions for their aspirations? What a joke! If hope was really for the people who trust and take actions for their aspirations, then why do people get betrayed by those that they trusted? Why do they fail when they take actions for their aspirations? Hope is nothing. It is a weakness. It is a folly. And there is _nothing_ that you can say to change this."

I closed my eyes, breathing evenly to calm myself. "Hope... Betrayal... Failure... Trust... Inferiority... Superiority... Without emotions of jealousy and fear, any connections and divisions... from titles to labels... they would all cease to exist. In the end, the only thing that would remain would be our humanity. But what is humanity? In fact, what does it even mean to be a human? The answer... That answer is in the deepest core of the feeling called hope. Hope that is also trust. Hope that is also the core of human beings. We can thus ascertain that it is the very definition of humanity. Because we can hope, we can put away the past, focus on the present, and live in the future. With hope, we can drive away the borders that society creates in order to separate us all from recognizing that we are actually one species that have no inferiority or superiority within us. We are all human. We are all part of humanity. We are the very beings of hope."

"And yet... And yet, humans are the very beings who take down that so-called hope. They are the ones who cannot appreciate. They are the selfish, the greedy, the desperate, the needy, and the dissatisfied. The very definition of humanity is not hope. It is desire. They desire more than what they already have because of their greed. They desire to live happier than before no matter the consequences that others might experience because of their selfishness. In the end, humans will bring the end to themselves." Yami interjected with her voice reverberating in volume, making it louder and louder after every word. As she concluded her words, she was yelling out. Her anger and disgust dripped from her gaze like an acid, destroying me with her glare. Her hatred was made clear by her clenched teeth and heavy breathing.

I whispered out to her, trying to calm the situation at hand. "If we agree to both mine and your opinion, then it further demonstrates how important this game of balance is. We can conclude that to be human is to be both desire and hope. If imbalanced, then they cease to be human."

She snorted, bursting out into harsh laughter. Tears slid down her cheeks as she screamed in a mocking tone. "And you would know that because of the four years that you spent with Suou...! Betrayal, disgust, inequality, misunderstood, disadvantaged, and-"

A livid burn seared and boiled at my mind. "_That's enough!_ You can stop now-"

Yami ignored me and kept going. "And being looked upon as the product of inferiority. A child and a female. Isn't that _hilarious_?" She sneered at me. "Both weaknesses. Added on to that, you were taking care of _another child_, who was also female. Both are products of weaknesses. A pile of-"

"_STOP!_" My head pounded with severe uncontrollable emotions. Shaking between pure rage and logical reasoning, I breathed heavily, trembling at the enormity of the range between my opposing emotions. Bitter memories quickly raced through my mind as if reminding me of the darkness around us during that time. "It means nothing! We are not weak! We were stronger than most of the adults we even encountered out there! I will not allow you to speak ill of us-"

"Then why did you choose to fall into the schemes of society?" She interrupted with an eerie calmness.

Lost in my thoughts, I walked through memory lane as I answered her in a breathless desperate way. "I needed... I needed to protect her. It was my mission."

"In the end, who are you to even judge what the definition of humanity is when you yourself cannot even fall out of society's game? Who are you to say that humans are the beings of hope and desire? After all, you fell into the pits of jealousy and fear. Jealous of the people who had it easy and was able to trust others easily, since they were not the products of weaknesses. Fearing for those who might become tainted by the game. Fearing for those whose safety and happiness would be in jeopardy. Deciding what was best for them without considering their opinions." Yami looked at me as I watched the screen tiredly.

"I just wanted..." I held onto the arm rests of the chair, tired of fighting against her.

"You just wanted what?" She waited for my answer.

In the screen, Suou and Kioku were talking to one another at the first Hunter Exam location. "Yuu-nii?" Suou tugged at Kioku's sleeve as she turned to her questioningly. "Can I go to talk to those people over there?" She pointed to a small energetic boy, a blonde young man, and an older gruff looking man. Relief settled in my stomach. She was keeping her promise with me. Kioku hesitated before agreeding. With a bright familiar smile, she dashed over to the group members and greeted them. Just like before, they began talking to each other as if already friends. I turned towards Yami, who obviously was displeased at the transgression turn of events. Suou finally dragged Kioku to the group, introducing her as Yuu. When Yami grunted, I saw her life points go down to 70. It was now lower than my own life points. Somehow, I had won this round by a lot.

Before I had time to reflect, I heard the first examiner introducing himself to everyone. "I am the examiner for the first stage. Now that the reception is over, the exam will begin. Just as a verification, I will inform you that it is an extremely difficult exam. Therefore, you may miss an opportunity and may end up injuring yourself or just simply die. Or there can be moments where we get accidents with companions like a short while ago. Those are the things that cannot be avoided. Now then... Please follow me." The man with no mouth and purple hair informed them as he began to walk. "Ah. One more thing... My name is Satotsu... I am responsible for the first round. I will now lead you to the area for the second round."

As they all ran together, Leorio yelled out to someone. "HEY KID! THAT'S NOT FAIR! THAT'S CHEATING!"

"I just wanted..." I repeated to myself. My stomach tightened, creating a fluttering effect. My heartbeat skipped once and twice as I waited for _him_ to appear in the screen. Anticipation grew much more when I spotted a soft white blur and the crispness of crystal clear blue colors of the sky. "I just wanted my happiness." The wisps of messy white hair warmed me into a sense of tranquility. "I just wanted my sky." As he stared at the group, his round almond shaped crystal clear blue eyes shined with curiosity. "My world... Even if... it all disappears into the past...forever."

Yami burst out into rough laughter. "And this is why you're such a fool!" Copying my tone of voice in a mocking way, she voiced out, "_I just wanted... I just wanted my happiness. I just wanted my sky. My world... Even if... it all disappears into the past... forever_." She continuously poked fun at my words with her incessant rude giggles. "Do you know how pathetic you sound? Did the lack of blood ruin your logical thinking and IQ? What the hell happened to you? Are you sure you're me? Aren't you supposed to be me? I'm severely disappointed! You're supposed to be smart, steadfast, resourceful, and cautious! You're not supposed to be love-smitten, stupid, emotional, and brainless! Are you that desperate to win against me? Then be that desperate! Be that frustrated! Because no matter how much you try, you'll _never _win against me!"

"Win... Lose... You sound just like the old me... How nostalgic." I grimaced to myself in a soft whisper.

"Pft." A voice brought my attention back to the screen. It was Killua, talking to Kioku. "Does it taste that good?"

"Of course. It was absolutely heavenly." Kioku dreamily gazed at her hands as if imagining that the egg was still there. "If only... I could have one more..."

"You know that we're all heading back to the airship?"

"Huh?" Startled, she turned towards him. "Oh. Wait for me!" Dashing after him, Killua laughed as he dragged her back to the group towards the airship. Once they caught up with everyone, the old man introduced himself as Netero and the small person with a green huge head announced that they would arrive at the next destination the next day at around 8am, so they were free to do whatever they wanted until the arrival time. While Kurapika and Leorio informed them that they were going to rest, Gon and Killua walked up to Kioku and Suou.

"Suou-chan! Yuu! Do you guys want to go on a tour of the vessel?" Gon asked them with his excitement soaring.

"Yeah! That sounds like fun!" Suou then paused and turned towards Kioku. "I can, right?"

Kioku's voice softened. "Of course you can. After all, they are your friends, right?" She widened her eyes and smiled brightly at her.

"Thank you, One-..Yuu-nii." Suou almost slipped up but immediately caught herself. Unfortunately, Killua noticed the odd pause.

"One-...?" He repeated questioningly and faced her with a suspicious and confused expression.

Kioku shrugged her shoulders and said, "Yuu sounds better as a name than Onechayuu, don't you think?" Killua started laughing at the discovery of her 'actual' name.

"Onechayuu?! No wonder you introduced yourself as Yuu." He shook his head in amusement. "What a ridiculous name."

"Hey. That's my name you're making fun of." She grunted and rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Well are you coming, _Onechayuu_?" He smirked and Kioku glared at him in response.

"It's Yuu and of course, I'm coming." Snapping at him, she followed after them with a huff. He just shrugged and lazily walked side by side with them.

"Still small..." Yami whispered out loud without thinking. "And yet so innocent..." I stayed silent, curious about her thoughts about them. "But... When they experience pain from betrayal, I wonder how they will retain themselves and the relationships they have with one another."

My eyes connected with hers. "Indeed. But... In the end, pain can be and is the connection between my world and theirs."

Without pausing, she voiced out her thoughts. "Because they once felt pain in their lives, it becomes easier to connect. Pain from the loss of someone important in their lives. Pain from the loneliness around them. Pain, pain, pain."

I almost smiled at her words as I said out loud. "For the first time, we can agree to something."

Ignoring me, Yami continued to speak. "But it is also the innocence that they have that attracts people like you and I, who have lost their innocence a long time ago. And because of that, we wish more pain would befall on those that continue their ignorance of the world around them." My heart dropped in utter disappointment. I should not have expected anything more or less from her.

"I change my mind. I guess we can't agree to anything after all. In truth, innocence is what helps the ones who lost their innocence trust once more in the world around them. They then learn how to forgive the people, but not the situation that forced them to grow. In that case, just as pain leads to healing and growth, innocence leads to trust and inner peace." I retorted back.

She snorted. "Inner peace. How can innocence lead to inner peace when people are too greedy to fulfill the state of satisfaction? If humans are the balance of desire and hope, where would one go in that state of inner peace? They just want more and hope for more. In that case, humans would never achieve inner peace. They might be able to trust in the world again, but it does not mean that they would achieve the ultimate state."

"Then what does it mean to be free from all of that pain and to finally retain the inner peace that everyone truly desires when not influenced by the assumptions of society?" She said nothing in response to my question. "No matter how much pain one can experience in their lives, if they learn to let go of their fears, to let go of their materialistic desires, and to let go of their hatred, they will never let go of their way of life...Because by following that standard, they can accept innocence, which will lead them to trust the world once more, learn innocence, which will bring them the passionate fun colors of life, and bring about the forgiveness of the world that will release them from their carefully built prison and achieve inner peace, their heart's true desire." I answered.

She shook her head. "Pain will always affect and stay with a person no matter how much time passes by. They cannot be freed from all of that pain, which is why they cannot retain the inner peace in their lifetime. No one is safe from the assumptions of society."

A thick silence settled in between us, waiting for the first person to cut through it with their words. I took a deep dry breath, tired of all of the tension. "Perhaps pain will stay with a person no matter how much time passes by...but as long as they don't lose to it, they can fight against the assumptions of society. Ultimately, one can achieve inner peace, despite being influenced by the assumptions of society and retaining the pain within them." Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh, breathing in my worries and insecurities. Focusing my attention on the screen, I surrendered myself to my fate as my body sunk into my next chosen memory.

When I opened my eyes, I suddenly found myself next to an unknown open field. Immediately, urgency and caution erupted in me, causing me to quickly evaluate my surrounding areas within the trees in case anyone was nearby. When I found no one in particular, I sighed in relief until I spotted a familiar figure from afar, sleeping with no sense of alertness.

* * *

_Her light gray blue eyes locked with mine, haunting with death. Her beginning, ruined because of me, stopped with her. Time never allowed her to move forward. The other Outsider. Midori, the child who is to kill me in the future. Blood seeped through her wounds that was obviously caused by the Clan. Was it rocks? Was it bricks? It didn't matter. We were the children of misery, the children of death, the children of darkness. But there was a difference. She had no one and I had Alice and Yuu. She was a half and I was a tainted. She was a true child and I was a fake child. The only similarities were the treatment received by the Clan and the status as the Outsider. _

_I strode towards her and stood still when I reached her. We both never looked away from each other. An understanding of intentions. A refusal of connection. Solitude was the solace we both desired. Without speaking, I placed the ointment bottle in front of her and watched her as she watched me. "Use it or leave it." The words then came out easily as if I never put any thought into them. I broke my gaze and walked away without ever looking back._

* * *

_I had finished training for the day and decided to take a walk by myself. As I strode across the village forest, a rustling within the bushes caught my attention. I continued to walk, pretending to not notice the presence behind me. When I reached the deepest parts of the forest, I stood still, waiting for them to appear. The rustling behind me grew louder. _

_I turned around with caution. "Who is it." The scrawny girl emerged from the bushes. Her light gray blue eyes flickered to me and leaves stuck out of her dark olive brown hair. _

_"Midori." I acknowledged her, nodding at her while I was at it. She nodded back. Although I was physically younger than her, she treated me as if we were the same age, which is why I chose to do the same. I saw her arms covered in cuts and scratches from the bushes. Pulling out an ointment bottle, I placed it on the ground in front of her. "Use it or leave it." Before I had the chance to walk away, she took the ointment bottle and grabbed my arm. Startled, I stared at her in surprise._

_"Your arm." It was the first time I heard her voice. Soft but firm. Rough but smooth. Uncertain but determined. I blinked before processing her words. I looked down at my arm and finally realized that it was bleeding profusely. I wondered why I did not feel the pain until now. Wincing, I grimaced at the sight. Midori then dragged me to a hidden stream of water. She proceeded to clean the wound and used the ointment that I gave her before bandaging it temporarily with my handkerchief._

_"Thank you." She nodded and began to walk away. I watched her figure disappear into the dark forest. Solitude, huh... I looked up at the bright blue sky. Was that really what we both wanted?_

* * *

_"Why do you try so hard?" I huffed as I laid on the ground from exhaustion. Midori walked up to me. "Why do you try so hard?" She asked me again._

_"No...choice..." I stood up shakily and met my eyes with hers. "In order...to find my freedom once more."_

_"You will never be free."_

_"That's not true." I grabbed her arm, leveling my gaze on her. "If I try hard enough...If I survive long enough...then...I. Can. Win." Rubbing away the blood from my wound, my hands tightened my grip on her. _

_She pulled my hands off of her. "You're a fool." I laughed hollowly. _

_"I'd rather be the fool than the already defeated." Because I would rather be the one with hope for her future than be the one living in hell and wishing for death for a future that is already bleak._

* * *

_I held the cloak around me as the wind blew harder. Would it be possible for us, the Outsiders, to become happy? "Would it be possible? For us to be happy? The Outsiders?" I asked out loud, not expecting an answer._

_"No. It is not." A nostalgic voice replied. Soft but firm. Rough but smooth. That was the voice that answered my question._

_"I see..." I looked down at the ground. "Are you here to take me, Midori?" When she did not answer, I stood up and faced her. "Or..." My eyes narrowed warningly. "Are you here to kill me?" I slipped off my cloak and threw it to the side. "Either way, it doesn't matter. We will both have to fight each other no matter what. Because... That is our inevitable fate."_

_"You will be judged by the Clan." She took out her dagger. "Therefore, I must bring you to them. Will you come with me quietly or will I have to force you?"_

_"I already gave you my answer." Her eyes closed as if hoping that was not my answer. I watched her with growing sadness. "You talk a lot more than you used to." I murmured to myself with a melancholic smile. "I wonder why we could not get to know each other better. Such a shame." I also closed my eyes as I felt the warm breeze. _

_"It is not of our fates to become friends."_

_"Indeed, but... One can always try. Becoming friends is never a bad thing. It can always bring together the most unexpected people and open a future that was not there before. I am always willing, but I guess at this point in time, it would be impossible between the two of us. After all, the moment I appeared, you were raised to become a weapon like me. In fact, I never understood why you did not hate me. Your job was to keep me in check after all. To make sure I never stepped beyond the boundaries." _

_A hollow chuckle erupted from her. "You were always very logical. Wiser than me, despite being younger. I found you fascinating, compared to the Clan members, who acted like children with nothing better to do."_

_"I suppose we both have the same opinion in regards to that." I paused before summoning my own dagger. "Do you think the Clan is correct in their ways? Do you think that they are doing the right thing?"_

_"I don't know and I don't care. I just follow orders and that's all I need to do." Her eyes darkened. "There is no need to think."_

_"You're wrong. Never judge a book by its cover. The Clan have their faults. And that is why you should never always follow orders that would cause destruction and cause the end of their future." I grimaced to myself. "Who knows if the Clan is really who they are right now."_

_"There is no need to question it." She approached me cautiously. "Now... Let us begin this fight." Midori ran without hesitation as she raised her dagger to slash down at me. I blocked with my own, realizing my strength was not as equal to hers as I had originally thought. Jumping backwards, I dashed forward to catch her off-guard with my dagger in both hands, prepared to kill her at the most apparent area. Before she could respond, I stood in front of her, pushed my dagger towards her as she clenched her teeth in preparation for the pain, but she quickly deflected my attack by raising her dagger against mine, causing it to fly away from my hands. Immediately, she kicked me in the stomach to provide distance between us. I rolled down the hill, not stopping until I hit a boulder. _

_"Augh." I spat out some spit, hacking and coughing, as I tried to regain my balance. Before I had time to process, I flew into the same boulder when she kicked me in the stomach once more. My vision blurred, shaking me from focusing appropriately. I felt her punches and kicks as I slammed into the boulder consecutively. My skin became sensitive towards even a single brush of anything. I grimaced as I watched her dark figure hover over me._

_"Never judge a book by its cover, huh..." She mockingly repeated to me._

_I smirked tiredly at her. "Indeed. I had underestimated you for sure..." It soon turned into a frown. "It is your win." I did not have the single energy to escape due to my lack of stamina, resulted from my previous big battle. "You definitely got me good..." I heard another voice enter our conversation._

_"Good job, Midori. You will be rewarded greatly by the Clan." I felt huge hands grab my hair as they dragged me off the boulder. "You are our pride and joy."_

_"Thank you." Her voice echoed, lacking happiness and joy._

_"Let us be off with her."_

_"Yes sir."_

* * *

_I stared down at my bloody lap as I heard the door open. A rustling sound stopped when they stood in front of me. My arms and legs were finally released as I fell to the ground lifelessly. "You look terrible." A familiar voice. It was Midori._

_I hoarsely whispered with a strained grin. "Of course not. I look amazing." She sighed at my attempts to talk and began using a towel to wipe away the blood. I cried out the moment the towel touched my blemished skin. She flinched at the sight of tears sprouting from my eyes._

_"You're only thirteen years old." She hinted to me._

_"I will NEVER send Rose to these crazed bastards." I coughed out. "I have nothing against the Branch or Main family for that matter, but...sending her to the Main Branch is like sending her to hell." Midori stared at me as she paused with her work. "I have to... I have to protect her. Even if...it means that I will die."_

_Her brows furrowed with frustration. "You're only thirteen."_

_"So?" She flinched at my determined tone. "Rose is my family. She has been since I left this place. So... So how...How can I bring her here as a sacrifice?" Overwhelming emotions stained my voice as I grabbed her arms in utter sadness._

_"Why..." Her light gray blue eyes flickered with something unexplainable._

_"The reason why I left... Do you know what it is?"_

_"No."_

_"It is to protect her from the tainted politics of this family. To make sure she develops her own morals when it is time for her to rule over the three families. To give me a chance to find a way to save this damn Clan from complete annihilation." I tightened my grip on her arm sleeves. "Dammit, Midori. Believe me. Please... You're the only one left here that I can actually... The reason why Alice died... The reason why the Clan began to act strangely and suspiciously when we were younger... The reason why we were brought forth. Do you really not know? Or do you just close your eyes from the truth?" When she sprayed the disinfectant on my injuries and spread ointment onto them, I cried as I hung onto her for dear life. _

_After carefully bandaging my injuries, she faced me with uncertain look. "I will believe you..." Relief pooled into my mind. "But..." I stiffened. "Only if you can survive for three days without spilling a single word of the heiress and the situation that you are implying to me to the people who torture you." I hesitated for a mere second before nodding._

_"Deal." I whispered to her. _

_Her eyes darkened. "I might as well tell you now, but I have to take you to the isolation box. I don't know how long you're staying in there and I'm pretty sure you won't be getting any food or water during that time. Just... Just don't die or go crazy on me." I shook in fear as I got a hold of myself._

_"Okay." She pulled me up gently than anyone else did in this Clan and lead me to a small box. It reminded me of a coffin. A very cushioned coffin so that I would not kill myself to insanity. Midori tied a thick cloth around my mouth, disabling me from biting down on my tongue, and tied my arms behind my back._

_"Go to sleep. It might help." After binding my legs together, she helped me into the coffin with a sympathetic gaze before closing and locking it completely from the outside. Once I heard the click from the lock, my eyes heavily closed as I breathed in and out in a rhythmic motion. My consciousness faded away immediately._

* * *

_I watched Midori with her first aid kit. The pungent smell of death lingered in my nose. She released me from the chains to treat my injuries. The door closed as I hung onto her as if she was my last lifeline to keep me sane in this hell. I drank in her smell greedily, trying to remind myself that I was still alive. "It's been more than the three day deal." She whispered to me. "I couldn't come in here before that." I nodded feebly in her arms. "I believe you." I nodded again._

* * *

_"I heard that they are close to finding Suou." I gripped her arm tightly. "Save her, Midori. Save her... Please..."_

* * *

_"I can't come back to save you. You realize that?" Her whisper was faint._

_"I know."_

* * *

That was the last time that I saw and spoke to Midori before I was placed in the isolation box. During brief moments of my sanity, I began to wonder if she had kept her promise, but after seeing no resemblance of Suou in the Clan's village after the massacre, I knew that she had. To me, she is the important gear in turning my future into the way it became. Without her in the picture or without her protecting Suou, worse events could have occurred. But in the end, I _must_ somehow influence Midori into protecting Yuu and Alice before any of them get hurt. I still have time left. I _must_ plant the seed of doubt in her mind about the Clan so that she would be tempted to go against them with good reason. It is all or nothing. Since Yami is going all out, I cannot hold back anymore.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who story alerted, favorited, and reviewed my story: Deb.23, Navi Ackerman, Fangchica, nana82201, maurocf, and MidoriEmerald13.**

**08/27/2015: As I have said before, I'm probably going to update the next chapter in the next summer break (and if I'm lucky during the school year or during the other shorter breaks, I'll update whenever I have time). That said, I have no problems with chatting with you guys on fanfiction time to time if you guys just want to chat. :) For those that don't read Author's Notes, READ THIS PART AT LEAST: I'LL UPDATE WHEN THE NEXT SUMMER VACATION ARRIVES, SO MOST LIKELY IN LATE JUNE OR JULY! But who knows. I might update earlier or later than June or July. I don't know my schedule, so I cannot give you any guarantees. I'll probably be more accurate with those that I chat with on fanfiction anyways when the time arrives. :) But do realize that I'm not going to drop this story anytime soon and I'm not going to be the author that updates after two to three years or something like that because that's just terrible. I'm pretty sure I'll have a decent amount of time to update during the next summer vacation, so just sit tight and wait until then. :) And if anything happens that might prolong the waiting time for the next update (which I highly doubt will occur but if it does happen), I'll let you guys know.**

**If you analyzed any of the chapters or any particular scenes or if you have any guesses/theories as to what might happen in the future or what something might mean in the future, that would be interesting to read. I would love to hear your thoughts.**

**Other than that, if you have any questions, feel free to review about it and I'll cover it in the next chapter in the Author's Note or feel free to PM message me and I can talk about it with you. :) **

**And one last thing, please review my story! I really enjoy reading your thoughts and they brighten up my day considerably. From now on, I will PM message my responses to the reviews for efficiency reasons. :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	20. Chapter 20

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 20! **

**06/22/16: I was planning to write this chapter during the school year, but it just never ended up happening because I was just too busy. I was going to write after my final exams for spring quarter, but I ended up going on a solo trip to Paris, so that plan (to write this chapter) didn't work out, but now that it's officially summer vacation, hopefully I will have more time on my hands to write more. After all, I do want to get this fanfiction done before the end of this summer vacation and if not, during my last school year or a few months after I graduate. Nonetheless, I will keep you guys updated. :)**

**Anyways, minus the author's note again, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way or if there are any mistakes (grammar, story plot holes, etc.), TELL ME IMMEDIATELY! Thank you!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter.**** If I did, I might have made Killua the main character for the entire series.**

* * *

**Chapter 20**

* * *

"I command the capture and execution of Alice and Yuu." Alice's grandfather ordered the members of the Clan with a stern glare, but a shrill cry of laughter pierced the air. It was Dani.

"NO!" I screamed out, watching with horror towards the one I had killed so viciously before. A slight chuckle bubbled out from Yami.

"What is it, my child?" He turned towards her.

"Well, I just thought of a _better_ idea. Would you like to hear it?" Her lips formed a chilling firm smile.

"Speak." He commanded.

She took a step forward. "We should use Midori to capture Alice and Yuu to test her loyalty to our Clan and instead of the usual burning of the traitors, we should just cleanly slit their jugular vein and let their bodies rot."

"No, no, no... No..." I weakly cried out, unable to move from the chair. "Not those two... Not Midori..." Droplets of tears dripped down to my knees, blurring the world before me.

"If you didn't leave and if you didn't follow Alice's words, then this wouldn't have happened." Yami stated it matter-of-factly.

Alice's grandfather frowned at her words. "What is the purpose of rotting their tainted bodies?"

"We can use them to torture and extract information from the child that kidnapped our beloved heiress. It will be the fastest and most effective method, don't you think? After all, I highly doubt she would have the heiress with her when we capture her. She is quite the cautious child and..." Dani locked eyes with him. "It is you who taught Alice and Alice who taught her."

"Do you have absolute confidence in this method?" He murmured.

"Of course. Anything for the Main Branch." She gave a slight bow before revealing her widening grin.

"Alright. However, I will be the one to command Midori. No one else is allowed to order her around."

"Understood." She turned her heel and walked away.

"Midori!"

"Yes sir." Midori appeared, bowing to him with utmost respect. "You have called for me...?"

"I want you to capture Alice and Yuu immediately. They have acted against our Clan and it is our duty to fix such mistakes. Because of this, I need you to also assassinate them both as cleanly as possible."

"Meaning?"

"Cut their jugular veins and give their bodies to Dani."

"To Dani?" Her tone shifted to one of surprise before reverting back to its normal state.

"Yes."

"Understood. I will do it as quickly and as efficiently as possible." Midori paused for a second. "Is it truly alright for me to take upon such an important duty?"

"Yes. You have done very well for the past few years. Once you complete this mission, you will be treated as a true member of the Clan as you will have proved your loyalty to the Clan and will no longer be disrespected by anyone. In other words, your future and life will be depending on the result of this mission." Alice's grandfather turned around and faced the door, ready to enter. "You may leave now. I will be expecting great results from you."

"Yes sir."

"All that pain that I experienced... That life that I lead... Why did I believe in it? Perhaps becoming a hunter was a mistake... But perhaps... Perhaps even meeting Alice, Yuu, and Midori... Crossing my fates with them... That might have been... No, it _was _my worst mistake." I paused, tightening my fists and gritting my teeth at the possibilities. "Could it be that by meeting them I had sealed their fates to die or suffer? If so, then that _would_ be my biggest regret. If I had never met them... If I had never passed through this world... If I had just died as I should have from the start... Then maybe... Just maybe, I would not have to go through what I had to go through and they would not have had to die or live a life of misery."

"That's right. Because you met them, because you had passed through this world, you made the two die. You made Midori suffer." Yami watched me carefully as I grimaced at her words. "Are you scared? Are you weakening from your conviction? Your resolve? You're going to lose it all or perhaps you already did. So fall, Kinra. After all, at this rate, everyone you care about will vanish and then you'll have no choice but to disappear as well."

"Disappear... Wouldn't that only be the case if I lose? I wonder... Would it be better if that happened? For you? For everyone around me? For their safety... Their happiness..." I murmured to myself.

"Then lose. Lose for everyone that you care about. Lose for their safety and happiness. And then prepare yourself - for your own end and for the loss of your own life."

"But I can't lose! I promised myself. I promised that I would do my best and win. I swear to you that I will do everything - everything that I can in order to go back home. Home, where everyone is... To go back to them... To go back to _him_."

Yami sneered at me. "What foolishne-"

I interrupted her with the fire burning fiercely inside of me. "So I have to win! I have to win this game - this game of balance!"

"Then give it your best shot!" She growled. "As the pain grows within you and as the loneliness surrounds you, I will watch how those feelings will eventually shrivel up into nothing!" Her fist slammed against the armrest of the chair, shaking it. "So you want to live? You want to see the light of the situation you're in? You sure are as optimistic as you used to be - _what foolishness_! Do you truly believe that being optimistic is the best option for you? As I thought, you were foolish then and you are still foolish now. When will you ever learn? I suppose it's never! Because you will die - you will lose! Because _I_ will be the winner!"

"So much anger... So much hate within you... Don't you realize that such emotions will only blind your logic? But nevertheless, I will win. I must win. And no one, not even you, can stop me from going forward. Even if you see me as foolish, as long as I believe in myself, I can take a step towards this goal." I steadied my gaze towards her. "You believe that you yourself will be the winner in the end, but I suppose it is not impossible - for we both have an equal chance to become the winner." I paused before continuing. "You called me foolish, but for me, it is not foolishness. It is merely just the act of believing."

"We shall see if you really did have an equal chance to become the winner." She spoke with an eerie calm. "I suppose I will let you continue to believe that until the very end."

I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of my steady heartbeat. "It's okay... Everything will be alright. It'll be all okay in the end." I murmured to myself.

* * *

"Midori, no! Please, no..." I screamed out, watching the situation helplessly.

"Midori, please! Don't do this! I know that you realize how twisted the Main Branch family became over the past few years! Can't you see? Do you really not know? Or do you just close your eyes from the truth?" Alice cried out, desperately holding onto Yuu's limp corpse. Her hot tears stained her red cheeks, pouring down endlessly without stop.

"I have no need to listen to your incessant chattering, especially when you are a mistake to the Clan." Midori moved closer to her threateningly with her dagger dripping with Yuu's dark red blood.

"STOP IT, MIDORI! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! DON'T LISTEN TO HER GRANDFATHER! PLEASE!" I begged to her, unwilling to believe that this was actually happening in front of me. "Don't do it. Don't! Please..."

"Wai-" Midori swiftly slashed with her expression hardening at every moment as she watched Alice's eyes dull and her blood seep out of the wound.

"See? I told you before. It's too late.. It's hopeless for you. And you know? There's nothing that you can do about it, Kinra. Nothing... Nothing that you can do to stop it all." As she watched my life points drop down to 50, she chuckled to herself, gleeful about her 70 life points. I then grimaced when I realized that I now officially had less life points than her.

* * *

"Why Midori... Why?" Kioku muttered before fainting on the spot, blood staining the ground beneath her.

Midori quickly picked her up and nodded to the Clan member who accompanied her. "Let's go." They summoned a dark portal before jumping in. When they arrived at the Clan village, they split off with Midori dropping Kioku off at the torture chamber and the Clan member reporting to the higher-ups.

"Is this all you need?" Midori asked the torturer.

He nodded. "Yes. Thank you for your work, Midori." After she left, the torturer grabbed Kioku and chained her down on the chair.

When Kioku next woke up, an unfamiliar face stared at her. "Welcome." That was all they said before continuing to stare.

"Who... Who are you?" Her voice croaked.

"Someone you don't need to know." She looked into the dark green eyes of the torturer.

Uncertainty filled her thoughts. "Okay..."

"But I guess I can introduce myself. My name is Kuuhaku. What is your name?" He pulled out a chair and sat in front of her.

"Ki-Kinra..." She murmured.

"Kinra. Nice name. Nice to meet you then, Kinra." He smiled neutrally with no sense of glee or negativity.

"Are you here to torture me?" She whispered, unsure about him.

He paused before nodding in confirmation. "But you know... If you just tell me the information that I need, then I have no need to hurt you in any way."

"But _you know_ that I can't just easily give you that information..." Her eyes closed, heaving out a sigh with apparent heaviness.

"I will give you 24 hours to give me an official answer, so think about it very carefully." Kuuhaku tossed the chair to the side and exited the chamber without looking back, not allowing her to retort.

Time ticked by and finally, she heard a click of the lock. It was time to give him an answer. The door slowly opened, revealing a very familiar and dreaded figure. It was Dani. From behind her, the floor was stained bright red as if someone bled to death there. She entered the room with a steady and excited smile.

"What happened to Kuuhaku?" Kioku asked, not amused by the new appearance of Dani.

"Let's just say that he merely decided to leave this to me." Her smile unnerved her. Kioku kept quiet, waiting for Dani's next move. It made her almost wish for Kuuhaku back, even though he would have tortured her.

"Would you like to see _two familiar faces_?" Her fingers twirled Kioku's lock of hair. When she heard no answer, she chuckled. "Well I guess you have no choice then." Snapping her fingers, the door opened once more. "You should _welcome _them warmly, Kinra." A man brought in a large sackbag. After he threw them into the room, Dani cut the rope at the ends, spilling out the contents. A rotting smell erupted, filling Kioku's nose with absolute death. Nausea immediately invaded her senses as she gagged at the sight in front of her. It was Alice and Yuu. Tears sprouted from her eyes as she laid her eyes on their corpses, which were pale as snow, rigid like wax, and no longer what she considered to be alive.

I immediately grimaced when I heard Kioku scream with horror as my energy quickly seeped out from me. When I heard a grunt, I saw Yami's life points go down to 60, while mine went down to 40. What happened? With no answer from anyone, I continued to watch the screen.

"_Don't worry_. I'll make sure you're alive by the end of this... And I'll _even_ make sure that you stay quite sane too." Dani caressed Kioku's cheek as she intensely locked eyes with her. "Isn't that _nice _of me?"

"Why?" She bit her bottom lip. "Why?!"

"Isn't it _obvious_?" Dani whispered in her ear. "I want to hear you scream, cry, and be in _utter and absolute_ pain. If you're not sane and alive, then how am I supposed to do that? If you were insane, then you wouldn't be crying or screaming! You would be silent or laughing all the time. And where is the fun in that? And if you were dead, then you wouldn't be in pain! Now_ that_ would be a tragedy for me."

Kioku spit on her face. "_You're disgusting_."

Wiping it off, she giggled to herself. "_Why thank you_. Torturing is my specialty. It is _merely_ my way of life." She whispered in her ear once more. "That's why I have no need for your information. _Just be in pain forever for me_."

* * *

"Did you hear? The heiress was retrieved by Midori."

"Really? Midori is quite loyal to us. I'm glad that she is on our side. We can rely on her to complete every mission. It's no wonder that Grandfather trusts her."

"I agree."

Kioku jerked awake from the whispers outside of the door. Frustrated tears dripped down. "Not Suou... Not her..."

"I heard that they are taking the heiress to the palace, where she rightfully belongs."

"I can't wait for this celebration!"

"The... palace..." Kioku repeated to herself as she fell back into a deep sleep.

She woke up when she heard the door close. Groggy from the pain and the sleep, she looked around the room but found nothing. Becoming used to the chains, she was about to stretch out her arms when she discovered the chains broken on the ground. Startled and on high alert, she shakily stood up from the chair and headed for the door. Opening it carefully and quietly, she peered outside. There seemed to be no one there. The moment she stepped out, her foot hit something hard and soft. It was a person. A very familiar person. It was Dani. Jumping back in surprise, Kioku saw the light gone from her eyes and her blood spilling out of her wounds. She breathed in and out carefully before escaping towards the dense forest. Even though she was curious as to who helped her, she needed to first save Suou from the Main Branch before doing anything else, meaning that her first destination was the Palace. "Wait for me, Suou!"

I sighed with relief, brightening at the prospect of a promising future. "That's right, Kioku... You need to keep fighting no matter what! Fight against Alice's grandfather - his power! Because... Because if you don't... Then you will-"

Yami barked out with harsh laughter. "I don't understand you, even though you're supposed to be me. Why do you even bother trying to talk to them when they can't even hear you? This is ridiculous. Don't you know that you look silly or even stupid? All of this already happened in your world, so stop acting like an idiot by talking to some screen. Or did you already forget that this isn't for real but just for the game?"

I flushed red. "Well of course I know that... I know, but I can always try to make myself feel better! Plus, it's not like you're losing anything by listening to me talk to the screen!" I finally glared at her with annoyance. "But now that everything seems to be going right, I can always try to fix everything again..."

"No, you can't. You can't fix anything. After all, you are not time. You are not God!" Yami snarled. "There is nothing you can do anymore but watch her fall and die before the time limit. Watch how everything falls and breaks in front of your eyes! Watch how your hope turns into fear and how your life turns into death!"

As we watched Kinra running through the trees and bushes, I steadied my gaze towards Yami. "Why do you always try to antagonize me? Just because you're my darker self, it doesn't mean that we should fight at every angle! So why are you acting like this? Help me understand..." I sighed tiredly. "I only wish you would realize that hope doesn't always turn into fear... Just like how life doesn't always turn into death. So you should watch! You should watch how everything rises and builds! And watch how hope sprouts happiness and how death breathes a new life into this world!"

Snickering at my words, she never broke her gaze from mine. "You should have realized that I will always try to antagonize you. There really is nothing that can change that. After all, I am..."

"My worst enemy." I whispered to myself. "_Because you are me in the end._"

"And that means that _we are always our worst enemy_." She clarified.

Before we had a chance to talk more, a yelp cried out from the screen. Kioku was knocked out by an unknown fully-clothed figure. Their face and body were entirely covered by black, so I could not identify who they were. Even Yami looked equally confused and shocked at this figure. I then began to realize that nothing good was about to happen at the moment. Yami also reached the same conclusion as I saw her lips stretch into a pleased smile. "Who is that, Yami?" I asked.

"I don't know, but it doesn't matter because Kioku will finally die." She lightly laughed to herself. "I can only assume that it is an assassin sent by Alice's grandfather though!" She continued to laugh as her life points dropped down to 50.

The dark assassin tossed her over their shoulder and headed in the general direction of the river, where I almost drowned. Time was ticking fast. It was almost the end of the time limit. I watched impatiently as Yami was snugged in her seat, waiting for the imminent result.

_Five._

The assassin stopped near the riverbed.

_Four._

They dropped her on the floor.

_Three._

They pulled out a small dagger from its sheath.

_Two._

They hovered over her closely with the dagger at hand.

_One._

They swiftly lunged it towards her neck with the crushing sound echoing around us.

_Zero._

"NO!" I screamed out.

"YES! I WIN!" Yami cried out gleefully. The chairs that we sat on then disappeared, causing us both to stand.

The assassin finally stood up, leaving the dagger where it was. They then pulled off their mask, revealing their identity. "You're more trouble than you're worth, Kinra." Midori grunted as she kicked the fresh corpse of a snake to the side and away from them. Kioku turned to the side, sleeping away her worries.

"What...?" Yami stared at the screen as if unable to comprehend what she was seeing.

I erupted in a series of giggles. She turned towards me with disbelief. I then burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

"What is so funny?" She gritted her teeth.

"Do you still not realize?" When I saw her confusion, all I felt was pure amusement. "Wow, you really must not know. Then why don't you take a look at your life points?" Her life points dropped down to 0.

"How?"

I stated matter-of-factly. "I highly influenced Midori to do my bidding well. She acted as a spy for me."

"Then what about Alice and Yuu?" Yami waited for my answer.

"I let them die." I whispered.

Exasperated, she raised her arms as she spoke. "I thought that you would try to save them both at all costs, so why?"

"While I would have been happy and satisfied with myself, I realized in the middle of the game that if I saved the two, they would pose as a higher risk to Kioku's life than Midori. After all, they had the trace and an affiliation with the higher-ups. Not only that, because I needed to win at all costs, I could not allow my personal emotions to cloud my sight towards the end goal." I continued. "Oh yeah, I also chose Alice's grandfather because he is highly paranoid. By using that characteristic to my advantage, I made him believe that an Outsider or Midori would be more trustworthy than his own Clan members if he used her carefully. _That_ ended up, as you saw, with him fully trusting Midori and allowing her to be free or to take any solo action without having any questions asked."

"Then how did you influence Midori? What exactly did she do for you?" She walked up to me, grabbing me by the arms.

"In her dreams, I basically convinced her to help me by utilizing her strong sense of duty to keep the Clan safe from any danger." When I saw Yami waiting impatiently for me to continue, I smiled before speaking. "Once I convinced her, I told her to wait until it was time to save Kioku. I also made her strongly believe that Kioku would be the key to save the entire Clan and to save Suou; so if she failed to keep her safe, the Clan would be fully annihilated. I then helped her capture Suou by informing her of her location. Afterwards, I told her to dress as an assassin - to protect her identity - and kill Dani, who posed as a threat to the Clan, in order to release Kinra. By doing so, it would make it easier to capture and save her, especially since she was heading for the palace."

Almost out of breath, she shook her head in disbelief. "Why did you want Suou to be captured by the Clan?"

"Suou would clearly distract the Clan members and that would then lead to them no longer having their eyes on both Kioku and Midori." I took her hands off of my arms. "I also made Dani obsessed with Kioku by making her truly believe that she should be the only one to torture her, meaning that she should keep her alive at all costs with her sanity intact. After all, it wouldn't do well if she goes insane and can no longer respond to the torture." I dryly laughed. "That was also how I got Dani to kill the torturer, Kuuhaku, before he could do anything to Kioku."

"I never expected that you would use Dani or the Grandfather for anything, especially since you detest them so much." Her eyes widened in astonishment. "I did believe, however, that you would use Midori, but when it looked like she was truly loyal to only the grandfather, I immediately dropped that thought."

I murmured to her. "Essentially, I used our weakness, which is diving in and drilling continuously without caution and without thinking when we believe that we are close to winning. That impatience was ultimately your downfall."

Yami kept quiet for a few minutes as if swallowing all of the information that I laid out in front of her. "...I admit my defeat. I suppose I have lost from the start then." All of the anger and hatred faded from her face as she gave me a small friendly smirk. "In that case, I fully acknowledge you as the true Kinra and as the Kinra that I respect the most. So tell me, Kinra, did you finally find the true you once more?"

I shook my head with a bitter smile. "No. There is no such thing as the true me, even until the day I die. That is because everyone changes over time. However, I _did_ rediscover the me that I loved in the past."

"Then that's good enough." Those were her last words as she faded away into the darkness.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who story alerted, favorited, and reviewed my story: Deb.23, wickedfairy17, MidoriEmerald13 (ArashiYuki13), Sloth Incarnate, MadreaderBoguswriter, Rinto, Tears of Forgotten Shadows, BloodRedFalcon, colorchanger, Lula (Guest) (Thank you very much for your review! I wasn't able to PM you since you reviewed as a guest, but I'm glad that you enjoyed reading my story! I will do my best with the romance. Not exactly a romance writer, so it is quite difficult for me. Nevertheless, I shall try my best! As for more details on Killua, Suou, and the gang, I am planning on releasing a set of one-shots after the end of the story by reviewer requests. More details will be given on this when I finish writing this story. :D And if there is enough demand, then I might even write a sequel or a spinoff.), Azrael Darkfire, lune-de-bleu, otakuprince012, JokeLover123, Poosa-ard, OhhPlease, GinryuFox, FairyPiece1, Hyacintho Fatalis, Magnus Salvatore, Seithr-Kairy, Electro34, Scalaiah, khioneisnotonfire, macwag5, KorosuPoison, and Tsukiox. **

**06/22/16: This is the end of the preliminary round! The next chapter will have Killua, Alluka, Suou, and Midori in it. :) After that, it will be the actual Game of Balance arc. Look forward to it! To be honest though, I don't really know when I'll be updating, but let's hope it's soon. Perhaps if there were more reviews, then I might be more motivated to write. I do, however, have the next chapter outlined and ready to be written out, so I'm not too sure. It also depends on how busy I will be for the next few weeks because I will be volunteering as a Japanese interpreter for Anime Expo, so I might be officially writing out the next chapter in the middle or at the end of July. But like I said, I do not know for sure. **

**If you analyzed any of the chapters or any particular scenes or if you have any guesses/theories as to what might happen in the future or what something might mean in the future, that would be interesting to read. I would love to hear your thoughts.**

**Other than that, if you have any questions, feel free to review about it and I'll cover it in the next chapter in the Author's Note or feel free to PM message me and I can talk about it with you. :) **

**And one last thing, please review my story! I really enjoy reading your thoughts and they brighten up my day considerably. From now on, I will PM message my responses to the reviews for efficiency reasons. :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	21. Chapter 21

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 21! **

**WARNING: Killua and Alluka might be slightly OOC. If they are too OOC, please tell me so that I can rewrite the chapter. I will never know if they are or aren't if you guys don't tell me. So thank you very much if you do!**

**06/24/16: Well, I didn't think I was going to update this fast, but I already had chapter 21 outlined, so I just finished writing it. I actually don't have anything outlined for the rest of the chapters, so it might take me longer to update after this, but no worries, I'm sure I'll get it done eventually. As I said in the previous chapter, I won't be updating until mid-July or later because of life events. Nevertheless, keep those reviews going, so that I'll be motivated to write more. Thank you! :) **

**Anyways, minus the author's note again, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way or if there are any mistakes (grammar, story plot holes, etc.), TELL ME IMMEDIATELY! Thank you!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter.**** If I did, I might have made Killua the main character for the entire series.**

* * *

**Chapter 21**

* * *

"Young heiress, it is a relief that the leader of the Branch family accepted us so graciously after hearing about our situation."

"Yes, Midori." Suou's eyes dimmed a bit. "But in the end, we never found Kinra anywhere in the palace, except for Yuu's dead body.

"We will find her eventually. Do not worry too much. She is much too responsible to not come back." Midori reassured her, squeezing her shoulder before deciding to close the window that she was looking out of. Suou kept quiet, staring at the closed window as if seeing through the rice paper.

The door slid open, revealing an elegantly dressed young woman. Her dark apple red long hair was tied lightly behind her into a low ponytail and her forest green eyes sparkled with great compassion. She put her hands together in front, stepping forward with practiced grace. "Young heiress, please put your worries aside. We shall discuss it together in order to appease the stress building inside of you."

"Anna-san." Suou stood up and bowed slightly, showing her respect for the young woman.

"Please just address me as Anna. After all, you are the young heiress, the rightful ruler of this Clan, while I am merely the leader of the Branch family. Please remember that we are only here to serve you, my lady." She turned around, motioning for the two to follow. After walking through several doors, they eventually reached a large room that was decorated with drapes of colorful silk and a small Zen garden that connected itself to a side waterfall. Right outside of the large window, a big pond of water held brightly colored Koi fishes - in which all of them swam with such vigor. Suou quickly noted that a silk mat was already placed on the floor for each of them.

Near the end of the room, a young man with messy maroon red hair and basil green eyes sat on a mat, waiting for everyone to sit in their proper place. "Anna." He called out in a neutral tone - his expression never changing.

"Arata. I apologize for the wait." She quickly sat down next to him, motioning for the two to sit in front of them. When Suou and Midori took their seats, there was a momentary lapse of comfortable and calming silence as the sound of the water and the wind caressed their ears.

"Shall we begin?" Arata broke the silence.

"Yes." Suou responded immediately.

"We have sent out our people to look for this 'Kinra' whom you seek." Anna paused. "For now, we have not found anyone in the general area near the palace and inside the palace. We have also searched among the river banks, but unfortunately, there were no traces of anyone being there."

"So what shall we do next?" Her small voice quivered slightly before returning to normal.

"Well, we are currently thinking about sending people to the Main Branch to see if there are any traces there, but..." Anna paused, unsure as to how to deal with this situation. "Is there any place or location that you can think of in which she might escape to or go to?"

"I..." Her fists tightened as she faced the floor. "I really don't know." Her whisper faded into the sounds of nature, revealing her shame in knowing nothing about her own sister. Before anyone could say anything else, a shimmering light appeared in the middle of the room. Startled, Midori quickly stood up, preparing herself to attack anything that might pose as a danger to Suou. Anna and Arata also stood up, waiting for the light to go away. However, when the light slowly faded away, Midori only stared with absolute shock.

Suou finally stood up as well, walking towards the location of the light. Her hands reached out with tears sprouting from her eyes. "Onee-chan?"

"I'm back, Suou. Midori." I landed on my feet, pulling Suou into a tight embrace.

"Welcome back, Kinra." Midori ran up to us with a relieved expression.

* * *

_"How do you feel now that you've won?" The dark figure with the ethereal blue eyes appeared behind me after Yami disappeared. _

_"Like shit." I commented._

_"Wonderful! Then shall we move on?" He clapped his hands together, walking in front of me._

_"Move on?" I repeated._

_"I shall now talk to you about the main game - the real Game of Balance." He conjured up two chairs for us, motioning for me to sit in one. When I waited for him to continue, he spoke again. "I will be speaking in chess terms, so please bear with it." I nodded. "There are 6 roles for each side in this game. Basically, there are 2 Rooks, 2 Knights, 1 Queen, and 1 King. As you might have already guessed, you are the Queen and I am the King. The Rook positions will be taken up by my two subordinates whom you will meet later. The Knights... You will find out who they are later. For now, when I am talking about our side, I will refer to us as 'my side.' Now as for the enemy's side, the 2 Rooks are the subordinates of Thanatos, the god of gentle death, while the King is Thanatos himself. Frankly, I do not know who the Knights and Queen are, but we shall find out when we start."_

_"Then what about the bishops and pawns?" I asked, curious as to how this was all going to work out._

_"I will get to the bishops later." He seemed to smile. "As for the pawns, each side has 8 of them. Those 8 pawns represent the total number of revivals that can be made. However, they cannot be used to bring back the Queen and the King. Also, the Queen is the only one who can utilize it."_

_I frowned. "There's a catch to it, isn't there?"_

_"Well, there is a condition that needs to be fulfilled in order to activate the pawn's ability." His voice echoed throughout the darkness._

_"What is it?" I inquired._

_"For one hour, only one piece or role from my side must be located in the opposing side's territory by themselves, meaning that there must be no one else from my side in the opponent's territory during that time span. For example, one of my Rooks stays in Thanatos' territory for one hour. After that one hour, you as the Queen can revive anyone from my side, minus yourself and me, with the pawn's power. Does that make sense?" He waited for my answer._

_"Yes. So basically, one piece from my side needs to be in the opponent's territory for one hour and after that one hour, I can revive anyone from my side."_

_"Pretty much." The dark figure sat down on his chair. "The game will take place in the Land of Gods. This area will be split into three sections." He brought up a rectangular shape that was divided into two smaller rectangles at the end and one huge square in the middle. "The section on the right or left will be either given to us or to Thanatos' group. But for simple explanation purposes, let's say that the right side is ours and the left side is theirs. The section in the middle is called the Combat area. In our territory, Thanatos' group members are not allowed to harm anyone from our side - even if we can kill or harm them, but they can defend themselves and run away. In their territory, we are not allowed to harm anyone from their side, even if we can defend ourselves and run away if they try to harm or kill us. In other words, within our own territory, we can attack and kill anyone from the opposing side." He paused once more before continuing. "The Combat area is where we can harm and kill anyone from the other side, but is also where they can harm and kill anyone from our side. Basically, it's the fighting zone, while the territories are the neutral zones."_

_I twiddled with my fingers for a moment before speaking. "So one neutral zone for each team and one fighting zone. Got it."_

_"I should probably warn you though... In the Combat area, there are a lot of carnivorous monsters that will spawn and try to eat everyone from both teams. They are also quite powerful, so do take caution when you go out in that area."_

_My eyebrow twitched at the mention of monsters. "...What a pain." _

_"In order to win the game, you must defeat the King or Thanatos. Also, keep in mind that when I talk about defeat, I am equalizing it to killing. However, in order to even have access or to see the King, you must collect all 4 Bishops as they are the keys to unlocking the 'final stage.' Once you collect all 4 Bishops, you must present them to the Heavens; once you do that, it will bring Thanatos down to your location. Only the Queen is allowed to fight with the King. However, if you do not defeat all of the Rooks, Knights, and Queen, then even if you have all 4 Bishops, it will not bring him down to you. So make sure to defeat all the chess pieces and collect all of the Bishops if you want to fight with the King. As for the Bishops, they will appear randomly, so you cannot guess as to its next location." He stopped to take a quick breath. _

_Once he locked eyes with me, ensuring that I was paying attention to his words, he explained further. "For the rest of the pieces - excluding the King, there is a certain order in which they are allowed to kill. First, they must kill all of the Rooks, then all of the Knights, and then the other Queen. However, for the Queen, they can bypass that rule and kill the other Queen whenever they want. Other than that, if the Queen dies, then it is game over for the side they are on because as I have said before, only the Queen is allowed to fight the King. However, even if you kill the Queen first, you still need to kill the other chess pieces in order to use the Bishops."_

_"So basically kill every chess piece in the order given or go straight to killing the Queen and then the rest of the chess pieces, while collecting all of the Bishops. And then go kill the King after presenting the keys to the Heavens. And I shouldn't die if I want to win." I summarized my role, partially ignoring the details that do not pertain to me. "So what happens to those that get killed?"_

_"They will be kept in an area where time is frozen until the game ends. Once it's over, they will return to where they belong or to their last location."_

_I gave a small sigh. "That's a relief. Then I guess I won't have to worry too much."_

_His eyes slightly darkened at my words. "Instead of worrying about others, you should worry about yourself. Because unlike the other Queen and all the other pieces, if you die in the game, then you will suffer a fate worse than death."_

_"...What do you mean?" A cold chill ran up my spine._

_The dark figure cleared his throat. "Well there is something I need to tell you first."_

_"What is it?"_

_He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "When I took you to another world, Hades found out and ordered Thanatos to bring order back to this world, so they were going to punish you for breaking the laws of nature by changing you into an Erinyes. However, I tried to negate that by changing you into a Hesperides. That eventually led to an insertion of each of our powers to go inside of you. It is basically what you call, the samples of Gods' powers." I gaped at him. "So if you win the game, then you can go back to the human world, but if you lose, then you will be forced to work as an Erinyes in the Land of the Dead for eternity." _

_"Will I still be human if I win?" I whispered._

_"...No, not really. You will instead become a form of Harmonia, the goddess of harmony and concord, because the two opposing powers within you will fuse into one source of energy." He awkwardly answered._

_"Does that mean that my Nen ability will stay the same as before?" Hearing more and more made me want to bash my head against the wall. _

_"No, it will not. Your Nen ability will become the power to neutralize and revert anything back to its original state and it will only activate if your Nen touches the target. The strength of your power, however, will depend on your will."_

_I felt my eye twitch with irritation. "Okay... So what are Erinyes, Hesperides, and all the other ones that you mentioned...? They all sound familiar, but I just can't recall where I heard them from."_

_"Hesperides are the goddesses of the evening and the golden light of the sunset. They are the keepers of the treasures of the God. These treasures are reflected from your current Nen ability. From Asklepios, it is the ability to bring the dead back to life or even the ability to kill death. That power to kill death is essentially changing someone's fate from death once. From Zeus, it is the all-seeing eye or Yochigan. It is also said that Hesperides are the guardians of the golden apple, which is a divine food or source of immortality. I guess you can say that that is where the golden apple comes from." He wistfully watched me as I tried to understand. "Erinyes are the goddesses who avenge crimes against the natural order. They are basically the servants for Hades and Persephone. Within the Erinyes, there are three types: Poine, Arai, and Maniai. For Poine - the spirit of retribution, vengeance, recompense, punishment, and penalty for the crime of murder and manslaughter, the ability to insert your own darkness and cause imbalance, making the darkness overflow, comes from them. In addition, the curse of the 'grey' comes from Arai - the spirit of curses, while the consequences of using your current Nen ability comes from Maniai - the spirit of madness, insanity, and crazed frenzy." _

_"Wonderful." I put my face in my hands, unable to believe what I was hearing. "This is a bit too much to take in at one time, you know..."_

_"I apologize." There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence before he broke it by continuing to talk relentlessly. "So if you lose and become an Erinyes, you will become an avenger under the orders of Hades and will be stuck in the Land of the Dead to curse and cause destruction forever." _

_"Wonderful. I don't even know what to say but that." I groaned. "I suppose the only thing I can do now is win this stupid game or else I will literally be living in hell."_

_"I guess so." The dark figure stood up from his chair and pulled me up as well. He then snapped his fingers, getting rid of the two chairs. "So, do you know who you'll be choosing for your 24 hours reward? Is it going to be that white-haired kid?"_

_"Before I answer that, who exactly are you?" I stared into his ethereal blue eyes, waiting._

_"I am Chronos, the god of time."_

_I repeated his name to myself, trying to remember it carefully. "Chronos... Well Chronos, I have another question." _

_"What is it?"_

_Unsure if my memory was right, I whispered to him. "I feel like I heard something similar yet something different when I first met you in regards to the game. Why did it change?"_

_"I guess you realized..." He closed his eyes, seemingly tired of everything. "Because of the action that Hades took and because of other circumstances, I was forced to change the rules of the Game of Balance. Initially, the results depended on if you manage to remain in the light or dark, or even manage to balance between the two. From what I recall, I first told you that if you were to remain in the light, then you would become Hesperides as my future partner or lover, and if you were to remain in the dark, you would become Erinyes as a servant of Hades and Persephone. And then I lastly told you that if you balance them out, then you would be allowed to stay in the world I sent you to."_

_I nodded to myself. "Yes, that sounds about right... So what happened? What were those other circumstances?"_

_"I cannot tell you the whole story as we do not have time, but the powers within you were acting abnormally in that they started to act as one force, rather than as separate; so if I were to keep the original rules, there would have been too high of a chance of your death occurring at the end of the game. In order to keep it substantially fair for all of us, I needed to change the rules." Chronos sounded very worried as he tried to explain it to me._

_"Oh, okay." I locked eyes with him, his silence deafening. It was as if he was lost in his memories and thoughts. "So to answer your question from before, I decided to choose Suou, instead of Killua."_

_His astonishment filled the air. "Really? Why? I thought you loved that kid!"_

_"I realized that I depended on Killua too much for my own sanity. It made me lose who I was as a person, but fighting against Yami forced me to accept that I needed to get a grip on myself... Once I can do that, I feel like I have the right to see Killua again." Shame crept into my voice._

_"I thought you rediscovered yourself though?"_

_I placed my hand over my heart. "I did, but you know... Before love, I should value my duty and myself. This includes my family... And there was one more thing that I realized when I fought against myself."_

_"That is?"_

_"I want to complete this game, not only for Killua, but for everyone that I care about. I want to do it for their happiness. After all, someone once said that you cannot be replaced by anyone in this world. Why? It is because you are you and no one else can be you. There is only so much acting and masks can do for someone... Memories cannot be completely replicated. That is why memories can be considered to be the treasures of the human race. There is just nothing like it in the world." I clasped my hands together, closing my eyes. "For the sake of those memories and for the sake of the memories that can be created in the future with the people that I love and care for, I will win this game, Chronos."_

_"Kinra..." His voice ached with sadness._

_"I know that I might not be perfect and I might not have made the best choices so far, but even with those flaws, I still want to try my best." I opened my eyes, determined. "Don't get me wrong. I do love Killua, but I want to see Suou even more... It's been too long since I last saw her, compared to when I last saw him. Plus, I'm not worried about him and I know that I can trust him to keep his promise, because it's Killua..."_

_"You changed." He replied with a warm tone. "Your love for him doesn't seem to be as intense and needy as it was when you first found him almost dead in the cave."_

_"Yes... It feels lighter and warmer... A very secure and respectful emotion as it should have been from the beginning." I softly smiled to myself. "I admit that I do miss him greatly though. Sometimes, I even wonder if wishing for his happiness all the time would be enough."_

_"Then do you want to see him first after you win the game?" He questioned to me._

_"Yes and no." I grinned. _

_"Then what is that you want to do after the game?"_

_"I want to first hug everyone I know and then go on an official first date with Killua! I want to fall in love with him all over again and get to know who he is right now, rather than the past him! I also want to go watch a movie with Suou and eat a delicious dinner at a fancy restaurant with her. And then I want to set up a blind date for Midori with Leorio, just to see if it would work out and just for the heck of it - although I think those two would make quite a good pair if they did date though. I also want to take Kurapika to a nice spa and get a massage with him because we both need some serious relaxation! And then, and then... I also want to go fishing with Gon and cook food with Mito-san and apologize to her for leaving so abruptly and thank her for taking care of Suou during our stay from before!" My eyes sparkled as my voice grew louder and louder when I thought about all of the possibilities._

_"That sounds like a solid plan." Chronos ruffled my hair. "Then I wish you the best of luck. I will be seeing you later though during the game. I probably won't be there in person, but I might come check up on you once in a while - either in your dream or in person, but most likely in your dream."_

_"Are you going to leave now?" I asked him._

_"Yes." He nodded._

_I held my arm with my hand as I looked into his ethereal blue eyes for one last time. "Then can you do me one last favor?"_

* * *

"Suou, listen to me very carefully." I cupped her face with my hands. I noticed how her tears stained her cheeks and how swollen her eyes became. "I don't have much time on my hands, so I won't repeat anything. First and foremost, I'm so sorry for not being there for you. I'm sorry for leaving you without notice. And I'm sorry for not telling you anything."

She shook her head rapidly. "You don't need to apolo-"

"And second, I am very proud of you. I will always be proud of you no matter what. Remember that I will support you in every decision that you make, even if it might be a foolish one. Also, never doubt yourself and take the choices that you want to take because life is too short to be treated with only caution." I stared straight into her eyes, determined to make her hear every single word that I tell her. "Know when to take risks, especially when your intuition says so, and know that failure only leads to more successes."

"Onee-cha-" Her grip on my arms tightened.

"Suou. I believe in your strength. _I believe in you._ You'll make such a wonderful leader for the Clan." I pulled her into a strong embrace once more. "I love you very much. I only wish I told you that every day."

I finally faced the two people from the Branch family. "Please take good care of Suou and Midori." I bowed to them in respect as they did the same.

"Do not worry about them as we shall do our best to do so." Anna replied swiftly.

"Thank you." I whispered to her.

"Onee-chan! Please don't leave me again!" Suou grabbed onto my arm, crying and begging. "Don't disappear again! Don't go! Stay with me!"

"Suou..." I pat her head gently with my free hand.

"It's just not fair that you always leave me without even telling me the truth or about anything at all! I always end up learning something new about you either from someone else or from a document... And I just don't want to do that anymore!" She sniffled as she grabbed onto my shirt.

I warmly smiled at her and gently wiped away her tears, making her slowly let go of me. "Suou, all you need to know and believe is that I love you with all of my heart and that the rest do not matter at all when it comes to the heart of a family. After all, a family will always remain a family no matter what happens in the end, even if they are not tied by blood." She hiccupped, shaking her head in disagreement. "Suou, thank you for being there for me during my tough times and for growing up into a healthy and strong woman, whom I can be proud of."

I turned towards Midori, who looked absolutely devastated and heartbroken. "Thank you, Midori, for keeping your promise with me. I only regret that I wasn't able to keep mine..."

She shook her head. "It is nothing. Please stay safe wherever you go."

"Thank you. I will try my best to do so." I felt the familiar pull as my body began to fade away. "I guess this is goodbye then... Suou, stay safe and become happy for me."

"No, no, nononono!" Her hand reached out to grab me again, but by the time she touched me, I finally disappeared. "ONEE-CHAN!" She screamed out, staring at where I last stood.

After a few moments of silence, she turned around. "Midori...?"

* * *

"Was that truly enough?" Chronos asked me.

I nodded in affirmation. "Yes. Thank you for listening to my strange request." I whispered to him.

Before I could walk towards the entrance to the game, he grabbed my arm to stop me. "Kinra, there have been a few new additions made to the game that I must tell you about."

"Meaning?"

"There is a new piece called the Healer."

"Healer?" I repeated.

He nodded in affirmation. "Yes. The Healer is a strict role in which they can only heal their own teammates within the neutral zones. They are not allowed in the Combat area."

"Okay... Then do we also need to kill the Healer in order to use the 4 Bishops and fight the King?"

He shook his head. "No. Just kill all the chess pieces, except for the Healer, and then you can use the 4 Bishops to fight with the King."

"Got it. Is that it?" After I saw him nod, I walked away from him and then looked back one last time before closing my eyes for a second. I finally turned towards the gate.

"Chronos, I am ready." I called out before feeling a warm wind gather in front of me. As the dust flew about, I closed my eyes in an attempt to protect my sight. Once it calmed down, I opened my eyes to find an extravagant door appear in front of me. Intricate details of golden grapes and apples adorned the door itself with the face of a lion at the top.

_Touch the door, my child. And the games shall begin once more._

I walked slowly until I reached the door. Taking a deep breath, I placed my hand on the extravagant door when it began to glow into a bright light. Shutting my eyes, I felt the warm wind surround me quickly. As soon as it arrived, the wind settled down fast. Hesitantly, I opened my eyes to find myself surrounded by huge trees, bundles of flowers and an array of green grass fields. However from afar, I also saw barren land with dead trees, no grass or flowers, and growing weeds. Such severe differences.

_Let the games begin._

* * *

_"Where is this?" Killua growled at the dark figure with ethereal blue eyes. "What do you want from us?" He protectively stepped in between Alluka and the mysterious person. _

_Chronos chuckled to himself softly. "It is not what I want from you two. It is only what I want from you, Killua Zoldyck."_

_"What...? Who are you?"_

_He walked closer to the siblings. "I am Chronos, the god of time."_

_"Chronos...? God...?" Confusion pooled into his eyes._

_"Yes. And you, Killua Zoldyck. You will be the Knight piece in this Game - the Game of Balance."_

_"Onii-chan." Alluka grabbed onto his arm sleeve with worry apparent in her voice._

_He quickly wrapped his arms around her protectively, glaring at the man. "I won't let you separate me from my little sister!" _

_"In that case, your little sister, Alluka, can become the Healer in this game. She will not be allowed in the Combat area and will be safe within the neutral zone. However, since her usual Nen ability can pose as a threat to the game rules, I will limit her ability in which she can heal others based on her own emotions or wishes and only when she is Nanika. That also means that there are no consequences or limits as to when and how many times she wants to heal someone." A thin necklace appeared around Alluka's neck. "That necklace will act as a limiter and it cannot be taken off without my assent."_

_"Why are you going so far as to even include Alluka just so that I would join the game? What is even the purpose for this game in the first place?!" He yelled angrily at Chronos._

_He smiled sadly at the boy who then looked at him in surprise. "It is to determine the life or death of someone important to you."_

_"...What?" _

_Before Killua could ask him about what he meant, Chronos changed the subject. "I shall now tell you about the rules of the game. Please listen carefully."_

* * *

_"So this is the Land of the Gods..." They walked around, staring at everything._

_"Un! This is our territory!" Alluka soon ran around the area, marveling at the beauty of the nature surrounding her. "It's so pretty here, Onii-chan!" Killua smiled at her happiness when he saw two people from afar; they seemed to give off a similar vibe as Chronos._

_"Those two must be Chronos' subordinates." He murmured to himself. _

_The young woman handed Alluka a bundle of flowers and the young man gave her a flower crown. Both showed her a peaceful smile as they eventually reached Killua._

_"Hello. You must be Killua-sama." The young woman with long flowing black hair who gave Alluka the bundle of flowers spoke; her eyes shimmered with silver pearl white. "My name is Elpis and I am the spirit of hope."_

_"Greetings. I am Morpheus, the spirit of dreams. Some call me a god though." The young man grinned, giving him a thumbs up. His messy dark hair whirled with the wind and his iron black eyes revealed the free-spirited personality that he embodied._

_Before Killua had the chance to ask them a few questions, a burst of wind appeared right next to them, which disappeared the next second. In its place, a person stood in the middle, looking quite overwhelmed and tired. _

_"Midori?" Killua called out to her. Startled, she quickly searched for the source of the voice._

_"Killua-san!" A relieved smile appeared on her face. "What are you doing here?"_

_"I'm here as the Knight and my little sister is here as the Healer. And you?"_

_"You have a little sister?" She blinked, not recalling this from their previous encounter._

_"Yeah, she's over there with Elpis and Morpheus." He pointed in their general direction._

_"Oh. She's quite adorable." She commented._

_He smiled in response. "Thank you. So what are you doing here?"_

_"Oh right. I'm here as the Knight as well." She laughed lightly to herself in a nervous fashion._

_Elpis and Morpheus walked up to the two with Alluka by their side. "The Queen is arriving. Let us welcome her."_

* * *

"Queen. We are over here." A young woman's voice called out to me. I finally turned around, facing a few people. As I scanned over them, I stopped at the familiar blue eyes in shock.

"Kinra...?" Killua murmured. I did not know how to respond to this situation as he was the last person I expected to see.

"What are you doing here, Kinra?" Midori walked up to me in horror. "You're the Queen? You're the one whose life depends on this game?"

From those words, Killua snapped out of his own shock. "What do you mean by her life depends on this game?" He then recalled Chronos' sad smile when he told him that the game was to determine the life or death of someone important to him.

I breathed in and out heavily, unable to calm myself down. "What are you doing here, Midori? Killua?"

"We're here as the Knights for the game with Killua-san's little sister as the Healer!" Midori shook me as if wanting me to answer her already.

"Killua's little sister?" I spotted the only girl in the group. Tears began to cloud my vision. "No... This can't be happening... Not them... Chronos... Why...?" I backed away from them immediately.

"Queen, please get a grip on yourself. I understand that you almost died multiple times to get to this, but it will not do well for any of us if you start panicking. I shall explain, so please breathe already." Elpis grabbed my hand, calming me instantly with her touch. "This is the reason why Chronos did not tell you who your Knights were. You would feel guilty and continue to hate yourself for being the reason why they are here. We all know that you would rather keep them in the dark but that cannot be done. The Knights are usually the people you care about the most. Unfortunately, because you chose to see Suou as your reward, the Knight became Killua instead and that ended up dragging his little sister, Alluka, into the game as well."

"...So it's all my fault that they're going to be a part of this game. And to even drag someone who isn't any part of this... I'm so sorry, Alluka. I'm so sorry, Killua. Midori." I could not face them properly, ashamed at myself for being the sole reason for this mess.

"Kinra..." Killua whispered to himself. The wish to touch her again and relieve her of her pain burned in his mind over and over like a broken record, so he finally walked over to her, motioning to Elpis to move. The spirit happily obliged as she stood next to the others, waiting patiently. He carefully touched her cheek with his hand, turning her to face him in the eye. Even though he could not say it at the very moment, he happily discovered that her deep brown eyes never failed to capture him. "Kinra, if this is something that determines your life and your future, I want to help you." If only he could just give her a small innocent kiss to make her feel better, but he knew better than to do that in this situation, so he gave her a small encouraging smile instead as he held her hand gently in his own. "I'm pretty sure that Midori feels the same way."

When I saw Midori nod in agreement with his words, I closed my eyes for a second before opening them. "I promise all of you that even though you guys won't technically die, I will still do my best to protect you guys from getting killed."

"Kinra..." Killua held her closely in his arms, breathing in her familiar scent. He really did miss her... If only he could hold her for a long time... "But you're wrong... Because... We're going to be the ones to protect and save you... This time, without fail..." His embrace tightened around her.

"As Killua-san said, we will protect you from any harm. And this time, I won't leave you... I won't let you be alone for a second time." Midori touched my arm with determination glinting in her eyes.

"So don't you dare think you'll be alone in this fight. It'll be a team battle, got it?" He flicked my forehead, causing me to flinch. I then rubbed the pink spot with a pout.

"Onii-chan is right! We'll be right there with you!" Alluka smiled brightly, grabbing my free hand.

Killua's blue eyes shimmered with gratefulness. "Alluka..."

"After all, you're Onii-chan's lover!" She declared to the two spirits and to Midori.

He froze in shock with his face changing into a deep scarlet red. "Eh...?"

"Pft." I tried hard to stop myself from laughing.

Recovering quickly, Killua groaned with his hand on his face. "Alluka! Don't say that out loud!"

"But you told me that she is, Onii-chan! Is she not?" She looked so innocently confused.

"I-I mean she is, but it's embarrassing if you just say it out loud to everyone..." He covered his mouth with his hand and turned his head to hide his embarrassment. His ears burned crimson as I watched him with amusement when the skin that he was trying to cover up with his hand began to burn the same color.

"Then there should be nothing to be embarrassed about." Midori teased him as she smirked. He quickly glared at her before taking up a resolve.

With great determination, Killua suddenly pulled me towards him. "Yeah, she's mine but I'm also hers! So if you have any funny ideas about taking her away from me, then you better start running away." He pointedly glared at a potential person in the form of Morpheus.

"Do not worry, Killua-sama. I already have someone I'm _very_ interested in." Morpheus then stared at Elpis, who outright ignored him. I giggled before escaping from Killua's hold, walking towards his little sister.

When I stood in front of her, my deep brown eyes connected with her powder blue eyes, revealing the shimmering compassion and warmth from within her. During this short silent interaction, I became extremely thankful for the existence of _her_. A smile to one another - it was the start of a ritual of sorts between the two of us. In seconds, I began to realize that there was only one thing that my entire heart wanted her to know. "Thank you, Alluka." I pulled her into a tight embrace, feeling relieved and protected by the people around me.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who story alerted, favorited, and reviewed my story: Lord Inquisitor B Joseph H, Rinsora, and ArashiYuki13. **

**06/24/16: It's finally beginning - the last main arc of this story! I can't believe it. It's really going to end soon. Anyways, because it's getting closer to the end, I would love it if you guys caught any plot holes that I could cover or catch anything that seems inconsistent with my previous chapters. Anyhow, this will most likely be the last update for June 2016. The next one will most likely be in July or onwards. So get those reviews going if you want me to update faster! See ya!**

**06/26/16: I suppose I need to clear up a few things for this chapter, so please read this particular Author's Note if you're confused about this chapter. First of all, I have very particular reasons as to why Chronos does not have time for a lot of things - all of which will be revealed in time. It is partially the reason why Chronos is particularly considerate and polite towards Kinra in this chapter, even though he wasn't that rude to her (albeit, he was more bothersome and annoying to her in the previous chapters - in my opinion) in the previous chapters anyways. Second, Kinra will NOT be a mini-goddess or a goddess if she wins the game. She will just be a FORM OF ENERGY (not Aura) that is very similar to Harmonia - the goddess of harmony and concord. Because of this, she will not be completely human but merely a "shadow" or an energy representation of a goddess. So basically, she loses her Aura if she wins and will gain a new type of energy that acts similar or acts like a replica to the power of the Gods. Her body is probably still human, but it is just her energy that changes completely. However, because Kinra understands Nen and Aura better than this new type of Energy, he just refers to it as Nen ability to help her understand. As you may know or remember, aura is life energy and without it, you'll die. In other words, Aura can be equated to being human or to being a living creature. Since she loses it if she wins, she should technically die, but instead, a new energy will be sustaining her to live - she will be more similar to a Spirit like Elpis than a human or a God. If you are having trouble comprehending this, please message me, so that I can explain it to you better. Third, you might think that Kinra left Suou a bit too quickly, but she has reasons for doing so. In other words, Kinra made Chronos do something for her in exchange for sacrificing most of her hours from her reward or prize. That will also be revealed in the future. Fourth, I am not following the true Greek or Roman versions of Chronos or any of that. I am merely borrowing the names and the concepts. That is all, so please do not treat these Gods as the same as the ones from the original mythologies. Also, Chronos is technically a cosmological double of the Titan Cronus; thus, I am treating them very differently, meaning that Chronos will not be a Titan in any way. Fifth, just because a God is a God, it does not mean that he can't act considerate or polite. I can choose how he wants to act. Either way, as I said in the beginning of this note, there is a reason why he acts the way he does towards her. Sixth, Chronos' past will be revealed in the future chapters, so keep an eye out for that. It will actually explain a whole lot about the beginning of this story and everything that leads up to the present time. Seventh, because Kinra's mental state changed drastically since she last saw Killua, her view and attitude towards their love for each other also changed at the same time. (After all, she was kind of insane when she last saw him and is now quite sane when she sees him again.) Lastly, you do not need to fully understand the game rules. I mean it would be amazing and awesome if you understood it all, but it is not fully necessary to comprehend the future chapters. Basically, it might help to understand it fully, but just understanding her role within the game is good enough. Since this isn't a strategy story, just don't worry too much about understanding the entirety of the game rules. It's basically there for those that are interested and for those that would want to know about it in the first place. I hope this helped clear up a lot, but if not, keep those reviews going, so that I can hit upon them. :D**

**If you analyzed any of the chapters or any particular scenes or if you have any guesses/theories as to what might happen in the future or what something might mean in the future, that would be interesting to read. I would love to hear your thoughts.**

**Other than that, if you have any questions, feel free to review about it and I'll cover it in the next chapter in the Author's Note or feel free to PM message me and I can talk about it with you. :) **

**And one last thing, please review my story! I really enjoy reading your thoughts and they brighten up my day considerably. From now on, I will PM message my responses to the reviews for efficiency reasons. :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


	22. Chapter 22

**He****y**** everyone! ****Here is chapter 22! **

**07/20****/16: As you might already know or don't know, I drew a new cover photo for my fanfiction! It's my best one yet! :) To clarify, Killua is 15 years old in present time and Kinra is now 16 years old.**** Since we passed July 7, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY, KILLUA! :D**** This arc might be a bit slow in the beginning, but it will eventually pick up at a fast rate. But that probably applied to most of the arcs I had already written for this series. This chapter is more like a "feel good" chapter with lots of fluff.**

**Anyways, minus the author's note again, happy reading as always! :D**

**And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way or if there are any mistakes (grammar, story plot holes, etc.), TELL ME IMMEDIATELY! Thank you!**

"" **\- speech**

_italics_ **\- memory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter.**** If I did, I might have made Killua the main character for the entire series.**

* * *

**Chapter 22**

* * *

"Queen, you must enter the Combat area for it to begin." Elpis walked over to us. "There are also a few things that I must inform you about."

"What is it, Elpis?" I straightened my back, giving her my utmost attention.

"Once a month, there is a day of rest for both teams. During this day, no one is allowed to leave their neutral zone." She held my hands in her own, turning her head as if telling me to look in the same direction as her. "Over there, you will find a cottage, where you can cook food and sleep in comfortable beds. Alluka-sama will most likely stay in the cottage most of the time during the battles. Ingredients for food can naturally be found within our territory, but there is a garden behind the cottage that should be enough for all of us." I spotted a charming asymmetrical home, hidden in between the hills of brightly colored flowers and plants. The roof was made out of dark smooth wood, toppled with growing grass and vines of purple flowers, while the beige brown stones and bricks were outlined by white, building the walls of the structure. I then saw the dark wooden door at the front and the several white wooded and blue-tinted glass windows or window-sills sprinkled on the walls. In seconds, a small rocky staircase appeared from between the trees and floating candles that lined up towards the one-and-a-half story cottage.

"Is it to your satisfaction?" Morpheus asked me with a proud grin.

"I... Yes. It's quite gorgeous." I muttered breathlessly, unable to believe my eyes. To think that I was going to live in an actual cottage... If it was the old me, I would be taking so many pictures by now.

"Queen. Killua-sama. Midori-sama. Alluka-sama. I would like to tell you about my power and Morpheus' power." Elpis continued when she got everyone's attention. "There are two aspects to my power. The first is that I can give support boosts for strength, dexterity, stamina, defense, willpower, perception, and luck. I can use the support boosts for strength - a measure of physical power, and dexterity - a measure of speed and accuracy, only 4 times a day. Stamina - a measure of sturdiness, and defense - a measure of resilience, only 3 times a day. Willpower - a measure of mental resistance, and perception - a measure of alertness, awareness, and cautiousness, only twice a day. Luck - a measure of chances for success, only once a day."

"How long do these boosts last?" Midori inquired.

She swiftly answered. "Strength and dexterity last 30 minutes. Stamina and defense - 1 hour. Willpower and perception - 2 hours. Luck only lasts for 3 hours." Elpis motioned for us to follow her, heading towards the barren land of the Combat area. "Before I can explain the second aspect of my power, I will first explain Morpheus' power."

Morpheus intervened. "I can do that myself, Elpis." With an energetic tone, he turned towards us. "I can make thoughts or dreams into illusions or illusionary attacks. So what Elpis can do, besides support boosts, is make my illusions real. Does that make sense, everyone?" Everyone nodded in response. "Good!"

"Now... Are you ready, Queen?" Elpis stood in front of the division of our territory and the Combat area.

"Yes." I finally stepped on the ground of the barren land.

"Stay safe, everyone!" Alluka called out to us as we ran forward with our weapons out.

* * *

"We haven't seen anyone for a while." Midori frowned, lowering her dagger for a single moment. It has been ten minutes since we entered the area. There have been no signs of monsters or people in the general vicinity.

"Don't lose focus." Killua warned us, concentrating on his surroundings. "They could be hiding."

Suddenly, a strong wind blew against us, revealing a mass amount of light arrows that were about to rain down on us from above. "Shi-" I grit my teeth.

Before I could react, a shimmering light green barrier blocked the attack. Confused, I scanned for the source of that power, seeing Midori with her hands up. Her eyes shined with an unusual chartreuse green. "Midori!" I called out to her.

"Kinra, leave this to me." Her response was clipped, yet confident.

"Is this...?" I watched her work in awe.

She grunted before letting it disappear after the last arrow. "Yes. This is my Nen ability. I can create barriers at will."

A patch of the ground in front of us shot up into the air, creating a cliff. "I found you." A haughty voice echoed. When we looked at the top of the cliff, a dark figure emerged. "So... Which one is the one I have to kill first?" The young man with chestnut brown hair jumped down, landing right in front of Midori. "Are you the Rook?" She quickly kicked him away from her, dashing towards him with her dagger. Someone immediately entered their vicinity, throwing her to our side.

"Kanata. Don't make any stupid moves." A young woman with long cherry red hair and pine green eyes lifted the male up. I rubbed my eyes, confirming the identity of the person who just appeared.

"You're..." My voice got caught in my throat. My heart thudded in my ribcage, drowning me with constant nostalgia. Waves of absolute despair and joy grabbed at me like a bewildered animal.

She turned towards me. "Hm...?" Her pine green eyes revealed a contentedness that was underlined with uncertainty.

"Kinra...?" Killua murmured questioningly.

"Do you know me, kid?" She called out to me, confused.

I swallowed hard, putting a hand over my racing heart. It was as if I was in a dream or a nightmare. I could not help but watch as the wind lightly touched the locks of her silky cherry red hair and as her pine green eyes shimmered with life.

* * *

_Dani__ turned around and grabbed a bag that was thrown against the wall with a stake sticking out of it. As she released the string that tied the bag together, a horrible smell erupted into the room. Rotting flesh. Burnt flesh. The absolute smell of death. Flies whirred around the bag. Old blood flaked on the old skin. Dull green eyes stared back at me. Matted red hair glared in the light. Nausea suddenly built up as hot tears flowed down __from __my eyes. I screamed in anger when the woman placed the stake directly in front of me at a good distance._

_After she left the room, __I __finally __stared at the dull green and matted red. Flies landed on her once bright skin, eating at the slivers of her outer tissue like a feast. Her old blood flaked off of the stake and small chunks of burnt flesh hung from her once apparent neck. Closing my eyes, I lost all of my tears after I watched her from afar. Too weak to protect. Too weak to be selfish.__Too weak._

* * *

Tears gathered at the corner of my eyes. "Alice... Don't you remember me?" I managed to speak, choking from my overwhelming emotions of relief and distress. "It's me... It's Kinra!" She was alive. She _is_ alive. And _she is right in front of me_.

"Kin..." Her eyes widened in shock. "Kinra?" Her foot took a step backwards when I took a step forward. I tightened my fists, frustrated at the distance between us. Why was it so hard for me to go to her? Why was it so hard...? She was so close - _so close _for me to touch. Just a little bit more. Just _once_ and I won't ask for more...

"Alice?" Killua glanced at the woman before keeping his eyes focused on the young man next to her. Memories of a certain letter suddenly dawned on him. That woman... Alice... That person was the one who wrote that letter to Kinra... In an instant, disgust and anger boiled in him, recalling how he felt when Suou read the letter out loud to them.

"Alice, snap out of it." She flinched at the sound of Kanata's voice, turning her attention towards him. "They're the enemy! We can't lose!" Kanata snarled at her.

Her eyes narrowed in retaliation. "Bu-"

A tall male with short black hair and dull black eyes grabbed her shoulder, effectively ceasing her from arguing further. "Alice... Remember what Thanatos-sama promised you." His presence, reminding me of Elpis, increased the tension between both sides. The threat of his appearance... I never noticed him at all - and looking at the others, no one else did either. At once, I took the defense position, ready to fight at any given moment.

"Moros... I..." Alice stared at me, hesitating. She then closed her eyes before opening them, gripping her wooden staff tightly. "I understand..."

Soon after, another male grabbed the other side of her shoulder. Startled at his sudden presence, I gaped at him as he pointed at Elpis and Morpheus. "Alice, do not lose focus. The two over there are the Rooks. They are the subordinates of Chronos." Why could I not sense those two at all?! Was it because they were spirits or Gods? But that couldn't be it... After all, I was able to sense Elpis and Morpheus! And even Chronos... So why...? The man's dull grey eyes gazed into my own, capturing me into a state of caution. His long silvery haired ponytail whipped to the side when he stood next to Alice.

"Understood, Epiales." Her lively pine green eyes darkened, glaring at the two Rooks on our side.

"The two that just appeared are the Rooks." Elpis murmured to all of us. I closed my eyes for a second before focusing solely on our targets with determination. When there was a light glow on my body, I felt a surge of energy as if I consumed too much protein at one time - unable to control my strength. The urge to release it grew as I summoned my black katana from my bracelet. "Midori will protect us, so go, Queen. Move forward." Elpis' whisper tickled my ear, pushing me to dash forward. I found my legs power through the barren land, going at a speed faster than normal.

Using the boosts to my advantage, I pushed myself harder to increase my speed, arriving right in front of the silver-haired one in seconds. His eyes widened in surprise as I lifted my katana to cut him down effectively. By the time I was about to slice him in half, someone hit my hands, causing my katana to disappear. "Not if I can help it!" Alice yelled out. Her wooden staff swung at my face. I quickly dodged to the side, releasing another katana.

"Move it, Alice!" I growled, glaring at her figure and dodging another one of her attacks.

"Back down, Kinra!" She equally shouted back, unwilling to cede.

"What is it that Thanatos promised you that you're doing this?!" I screamed as I sliced her staff in half. Huffing, I used this opportunity to hit her in the stomach with the dull part of my blade. She flew to the other side, sliding across the barren ground. When she stood up again, she winced, grabbing at her stomach.

Ignoring Alice, I turned my attention back to the silver-haired spirit. Activating Yochigan, I immediately dashed forward with my katana in hand again, but this time, I was not going to fail. "MOROS!" The silver-haired yelled to the black-haired man, who was currently occupied with supporting the Kanata person. Before I could reach Epiales, I felt a loss of energy in my legs, forcing me to slide across the ground on my face. My strength began to disappear at the speed of light. I shakily stood up, confused as to why I was so weak when the support boost was supposedly still active. Nevertheless, I continued to trudge towards Epiales with the intention to kill. I summoned my dagger, throwing it towards him with all of my strength. Before it reached him, a shower of arrows intercepted, causing the dagger to dissipate into thin air.

"Who the hell...?!" I growled, annoyed at the hindrance. When I turned to look, I realized that it was Kanata. "Dammit."

I spotted Alice moving towards Epiales with the intent to protect. She then yelled out to me. "Kinra, no matter how precious you are to me, I won't let you get in the way. I won't let you kill him!"

"I don't know what Thanatos promised you, but my life is at stake here and I won't let you get in the way, Alice!" _Even if you are important to me_... I summoned another katana, slamming it against her staff. She pushed me back, swinging it hard against my head. I flew to the side, realizing that the force was not very powerful. That meant that Alice was not the Queen, since she could not kill me with that attack.

My mind whirred for answers.

Considering that Kanata was not able to kill me earlier with his shower of arrows, that meant that he was not the Queen as well. Since Moros and Epiales are Rooks, that meant that Alice and Kanata are Knights. As Alice began attacking me again, I yelled out to everyone. "The Queen isn't here!" I quickly kicked her legs, making her fall on her face. Immediately, I pushed forward, changing my target to Moros.

Before I had the chance to reach him, Epiales stepped in front. "Back down, Queen of the other side." He forced the ground below me to shot up into the air. Out of fear, I yelped, holding onto anything I could that would prevent me from falling.

When I quickly recognized that it was a mere illusion, the ground suddenly began to shake, materializing into the actual cliff that I was supposedly on. I froze with a million thoughts rushing through my head. What do I do...?

"Not if I can help it!" Killua growled, dashing past Kanata and then punching Moros in the face. The materialization immediately cancelled, causing me to fall to the ground. Killua's fingernails sharpened into claws - prepared to kill at any moment.

A bright light abruptly flashed in between them, revealing a familiar black mass.

* * *

_I shivered when I saw something massive and black trudging in my direction at the corner of my eye. Trembling harshly to this, I watched the mass of black cover the lone arm and absorb it, allowing the arm's bones cracking into several pieces. Strangely enough, I could hear all the sounds that the black mass was making. And strangely enough, I wished that I could hear everything else, but that monster. When the noise stopped, I felt its gaze. I knew that it was looking at me. I could not see its eyes, but I knew. I just knew that I was going to die. And I knew right then as it came upon me that this was not a dream after all._

* * *

It was from _back then_. It was the _same_ monster. Panic overrode my senses as I froze, staring at the black mass.

"Retreat!" Epiales yelled out to his group members. Alice paused before following his order. Kanata and Moros immediately followed him, leaving the scene.

"Killua, don't face that monster!" I snapped out of it when I heard Morpheus' voice.

"I can't move!" His frustration was apparent in his voice. An adrenaline rush surged through me as I ran towards Killua. Before it could reach him, I threw my dagger at it to draw its attention to me.

"Remember me?" I glared at it. "Come and get me!" It slowly turned towards me, moving in my direction. I watched as Morpheus grabbed Killua, breaking the paralysis that he was under.

"Queen! Head to our territory!" Morpheus yelled out to me. I nodded in response with the intention to do exactly that, but the moment I faced the black mass again, I could not move or speak. Absolute horror drowned me when I realized that it was not fear that paralyzed me, but rather, it was the presence of the black mass that enraptured my every move with its power. I breathed heavily, wanting to escape, but it kept moving closer and closer until it was only a few centimeters away. I was going to die. I was going to die again - by this monster. I shut my eyes as I feared for my life. Stay away... GO AWAY! When I heard the same familiar crunching noise come closer to me, I winced. This can't be the end! NO!

I suddenly felt a pair of arms scoop me up from the ground, dashing away from the monster. Who...? When I opened my eyes, I found a pair of focused light blue eyes. His soft white hair tickled me as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I told you that I would protect and save you this time." He murmured to me quietly. "So depend on me more, _baka_..." It was said in such an affectionate tone that I could not help but smile.

"Killua..." I tenderly pecked him on the cheek. "Thank you." His usual pale cheeks began to stain with speckles of apple red as his ears tinted with a similar color.

"If you're thankful..." He whispered to me. "Then you can always give me a kiss..." When he murmured those words, he gave me a swift glance - one that was filled with heavy intensity.

I decided to act clueless, feeling quite mischievous. "But I did give you a kiss." I touched his cheek with my finger. "Right here."

"That's..." He paused. "You're right. You did." The wheels in his head began to turn. "But I want one just like the one you gave me at the hospital." At the reminder of that certain memory, I turned red as he smirked in response.

I finally pinched his cheek, grinning. "You've really gotten cheeky, haven't you?"

"So... Is that a no?" He asked.

"Well unless you can keep running at this speed without getting distracted, then perhaps I can." I smiled slyly at him as he frowned to himself, weighing the pros and cons for a mere second.

"I can." He confidently looked at me in the eye. "You have exactly one minute to give me a nice kiss before we end up in our territory, starting now." By the end of his sentence, I turned his head a little bit, gently stroking his lower lip with my thumb. I stared into his light blue eyes before lightly brushing my lips against his. When I heard him growl a little in annoyance, his teeth softly grazed against my lower lip. I parted my lips, kissing his own in a sensual fashion. His eyes darkened into a midnight blue as he came to a stop.

"Killua?" I asked, unsure if I should continue.

"We're already here." He set me down but when those intense midnight blue eyes of his gazed into mine, he immediately pulled me towards him. "Just a little longer... It's been too long."

I was about to retort. "But aren't we near everyo-"

"No. We're in the territory but Morpheus said that they would wait in the cottage." His finger trailed my lips as he talked.

"Huh. I thought they would at least stay near the border. Some caring, this is." I grunted, a bit miffed at this piece of news.

He chuckled at my words, amused. "I told them to do it even if they didn't want to."

"Why?" I blinked, a bit confused as to why he did so.

His eyes softened for a bit. "Because I wanted to spend at least a little bit of alone time with you." His voice enraptured me as if I was tasting the first velvety chocolate in a long time. My heart then skipped a beat, making me breathless at his words. Before I had the chance to recover, he stopped me from moving with his penetrating blue eyes as his constant caresses on my lips with his finger began to tickle and tease me, making me huff in annoyance. In response, he chuckled before continuing his playful touches.

"Killua..." I warned him, hearing him laugh and embracing me. He gently kissed the base of my neck and then continued to nuzzle his nose to taste my scent. When I felt his hot breath tickle my skin, I squirmed in his embrace. He finally gave small feathery kisses on my forehead, my cheeks, and my eyelids before kissing gently on my lips.

"Kinra..." His lips continuously grazed and caressed as if to explore every inch of my own. I soon reached out to touch his cheek when he pulled away. "Breathe..." My ears tingled at the sound of his voice.

I let out the breath that I held in. A bit dizzy from this, I grabbed onto his shirt. When I looked up at him again, he leaned forward and captured my lips in a searing kiss. There was a burning sensation that glided across my skin and spread throughout my body. It was a truly strange feeling. After all, the last time I kissed him, it was just an innocent kiss on the lips as if we were still our younger selves - despite the intensity of it from before, but now that we were older, he overpowered all of my senses, glistening with a fiery passion that I never really explored. The next time that he pulled away, we both ended up breathing heavily.

There was a speechless silence between us. "Sh-should we go?" I finally stuttered out, feeling a bit weak in the knees.

Before answering, he quickly turned me around and hugged me from behind. "In a minute..." His whisper was very soft.

When I tried to face him, he tightened his embrace, stopping me from doing so. "Are you... blushing?" I asked, holding his arm with my hand.

"Don't ask me that when you already know..." He buried his face in my neck as if to hide it. I pat his head, unable to stop myself from smiling.

On our way to the cottage, he pulled his hand out of mine before lightly touching my fingers with his. A light ticklish sensation crossed through our skin. It was like the fluttering of flower petals that caressed the skin. I slowly laced my fingers with his in which he, in turn, intertwined his fingers with mine completely. I then stood closer next to him, making our palms touch. When we arrived, I giggled a little bit. "What's wrong?" Killua stared at me, wondering what was so funny.

"Oh. Sorry. It's just that... This reminds me of the time when you held my hand at the Zoldyck compound." I quickly calmed down, nostalgically remembering the past. "It's a strange time to remember it though. I suppose I might be a bit too relaxed at the moment." Killua laughed out loud as he opened the entrance door to the cottage.

"We're back!" I ran towards Midori and Alluka happily.

A displeased expression appeared on Midori's face. "Why did it take so long for you both to get here?"

"Midori!" Alluka pulled on her sleeve with a small frown. "At least they came back safely!"

Midori sighed before smiling. "You're right. At least, they're safe now."

"Un!" Alluka also smiled with her. Before she had the chance to talk to Killua, Elpis appeared with Morpheus.

"Queen." I nodded.

"Would you like some warm tea and cookies?" At the word, cookies, Killua's eyes immediately widened. "It is in the living room, so let us meet there. We have more to tell you about this game." Once he heard the location, he excitedly dashed into the living room to taste some of these cookies. When we all entered the living room, he was savoring a cookie already. I giggled before sitting down next to him, pouring tea into our cups.

"So what was it that you wanted to talk about?" I inquired, sipping the soothing warm tea.

"Bakemono." Morpheus placed his cup down.

"Bakemono...?" I stopped sipping.

"It's the black monster that everyone was trying to escape from." He pointed out. I froze, remembering my almost second death from that _thing_.

"W-what about it..." I whispered, wanting to desperately distract myself. A cold chill went down my spine.

"It's very special in the way that it is the only creature known that cannot be eaten or killed. Even the Gods have problems with dealing with this monster... That is why it is very recommended by everyone to retreat and escape from that monster when it first appears." He continued without stop. "It eats everything in its sight and if you're within its range, then it can paralyze you completely."

"That..." Midori swallowed. "That also includes Gods and Spirits?"

"Yes. Bakemono can even devour Gods and Spirits." His expression darkened before brightening considerably. "That's why you need to heed my advice about running away the moment it appears! Got it?" We all nodded nervously. "Then shall we have some lunch? I'm quite famished! Some pasta would be nice..." He stared at Elpis who was effectively ignoring him.

"Get it yourself." She continued to sip on her tea.

Morpheus fell backwards, dramatically putting his hand to his chest. "So cold!" We all laughed at his reaction.

As he was serving us lunch, my thoughts began to wander off in another direction.

I wonder how long this will last... For the sake of everyone, I hope it ends soon, but that would mean killing the Rooks first... I nibbled on my cookie, strategizing various options as to how to reach my goal quickly and effectively.

Before I finished the cookie, I felt someone bite the rest of it from my hand. Their soft lips tickled my skin, making me shiver a little. I pouted, glaring at the suspect. "Killua... That was mine."

"You should have been paying attention then." He stuck out his tongue, going back to his food. "Here, eat this then - as my apology." He swirled his fork, gathering a lot of pasta noodles. It was slathered in a red tomato sauce, sprinkled with fresh Parsley and crispy crumbles of Parmesan cheese. As the savory smell spread across the room, I watched as the melted Mozzarella cheese stretched into another layer on top of the pasta.

"I think I like your apology." I grinned, moving my hair behind my ear. I leaned forward, carefully biting it off his fork. I chewed carefully and slowly, savoring the sweet tone of the tomatoes and the salty chewiness of the cheese. The pasta brought a new flavor into the dish with its earthy heartiness. _It was so good..._ I haven't had such good food in a _long_ time.

"Pft." I snapped out of it when I heard Killua's laughter. "Does it taste that good?"

"Of course. It was absolutely heavenly..." I then smirked. "Because you fed it to me." His laughter ceased immediately as I amusedly watched his face burn red with embarrassment.

"-not fair..." He murmured to himself.

"Hm? Did you say something?" I grinned at him.

He sighed. "No, I didn't say anything." He then leaned forward and whispered in my ear. "I just thought about how I would rather hear you say that when it's just the two of us."

I pinched his cheek softly before leaning against him. "Cheeky." I looped my arm around his, picking up my plate to eat some more.

"But I'm _your_ cheeky." Killua proudly announced to me with his boyish smile.

I almost burst into laughter. "Of course you are. Just like how I'm _your_ cheeky." We snickered to ourselves as we continued to indulge in our food.

"As much as I enjoy seeing you happy, Kinra, I would be most grateful if I could eat without trying to choke for the next 30 minutes." Midori sniggered when I nearly choked on my food.

My cheeks instantaneously turned apple red as I leaned my forehead against his shoulder in an attempt to hide my embarrassment. "Midori..." I whined, sticking out my tongue at her for a moment. "I'll try, but no promises..."

When I heard everyone laugh, I began to laugh with them, wondering if this is what a family was like.

_Warm..._

_So warm and safe..._

_Safe with everyone._

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who story alerted, favorited, and reviewed my story: DarkDust27, Deb . 23, Intimidating Cupcake, ArashiYuki13, Poosa-ard, 4everfictional, treavellergirl, Kiarya, ninetaileddemoness, and Hime2700Tsuna.**

**07/20/16: So I realized that this chapter is pretty short, but I ended up being really busy for some reason. I did start a new drabble series for Katekyou Hitman Reborn because I always wanted to try writing drabbles and since this series is going to end "soon," I decided to start on it. Whenever I update that one, it just means that I'm in the middle of writing a chapter for this one. Writing one chapter for this fanfic takes a lot longer than writing 10 drabbles, which is why the update rate is so fast for the KHR one, rather than this one. :) I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I'm also creating a visual novel, so that also gets some of my time. I honestly don't know when I'll update again, so I will not give you an exact timeframe anymore.**

**If you analyzed any of the chapters or any particular scenes or if you have any guesses/theories as to what might happen in the future or what something might mean in the future, that would be interesting to read. I would love to hear your thoughts.**

**Other than that, if you have any questions, feel free to review about it and I'll cover it in the next chapter in the Author's Note or feel free to PM message me and I can talk about it with you. :) **

**And one last thing, please review my story! I really enjoy reading your thoughts and they brighten up my day considerably. From now on, I will PM message my responses to the reviews for efficiency reasons. :)**

**All of my readers, ****I ****will update soon so until then, I ****hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D**


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